Disclaimer: Every character, with the exception of Emma (me) and Dianeus,
comes from the brilliant mind of Joanne Kathleen Rowling. Therefore, I do
not own any of them (although owning Olly Wood WOULD be nice). So, I am
making no money off dearest Jo's brilliant creations. If I were, I would
probably be in jail. Seeing as I'm not, I think I'm OK.
(A/N: I think this is supposed to be funny.... it was writen at about 10:15 on Wednesday, December 11, 2002. I took me a whopping HALF HOUR to write.)
(random chatter)
Emma: All right, everyone, order!
Seamus: A double cheeseburger, large fries...
Pure bloods: What the hell?
Emma: Yeah. Right. That's REALLY old, Seamus. Kind of like that blowing-up- stuff thing. Now, our first order of business. An idea for my first fic.
Ginny: How about Harry finally pays attention to me and we go out and get married and have lots and lots of babies?
Harry: (shuffles his chair towards Cho)
Voldemort: How about I kill everyone except the Slytherins?
Malfoy: How about Voldemort kills everyone except the Slytherins? (slaps Voldy a high five)
Emma: Behave, boys, or your going to your rooms.
Malfoy and Voldy: (cross their arms and pout)
Emma: Right, I can see we're getting nowhere with this. Who should be my main character?
Everyone: Me!
Emma: Anyone have a REASON?
Wood: Because I'm such a sexy sexy badger?
Emma: Excellent! Yes, Sean- er, Oliver, you are. You shall be my main character.
Wood: (shrugs and goes back to moving little wooden people around)
Females: (sigh)
Ron: (glares at Hermione)
Hermione: What?
Ron: Isn't it obvious? I'm jealous of every male you come into contact with because I'm madly in love with you!
Hermione: Oh, is THAT it? Gawrshdarnit, for the smartest girl in school I'm pretty slow.
Ron: You can say that again.
Ron and Hermione: (start snogging passionately)
Fred: Oh, God! That is disturbing! My virgin eyes!
Angelina: Virgin? Have you already forgotten that night of pass-
Everyone: (stares)
Fred: (turns red and runs out of the room)
Emma: (blinks and rolls Ron and Hermione under a table). Right. Now. Who shall dearest Sean- er, Oliver be madly in love with/be madly loved by?
Females: (raise their hands)
Emma: Well, I couldn't possibly choose.... so let's just make up and OC... let's make her name... oh, maybe, Emma...
Dianeus: (thwaps Emma)
Emma: Oh, fine. Let's just call her Diane. (A/N: Just randomly selected... I lurve ALL my Seany people...)
Wood: Is she as deliciously marfy as I am?
Emma: Why, yes, she most definitely is. (A/N: Me? Buttering up to Di@ne? Of course not... but.. . Di@ne... now th@t I'm on this topic... Don't you just lurve @'s? They're so lurvely... I could just sit @nd type @'s @ll day... @@@@@... @nd now that I'm done trying to get Di@ne to make me @ moder@tor, back to the meeting...)
Wood: Yeah. Sounds good. As long as she's sexy and loves quidditch.
Emma: Yup, you got it, hon. Whatever you want. Whatever- (comes out of trance) Um... yeah.
Harry: (stares and wonders why he hasn't said a word).
Harry: Ketchup.
Emma: (blinks) Right. You're all excused. Except you two... (points to Wood and Malfoy)
Everyone except Wood and Malfoy: (leaves)
Emma: Right. Olly, Draco...
Wood, Malfoy: Yes?
Emma: What do you think of... slash...?
Wood, Malfoy: (blink and look at each other) Hell, he's sexy.
Emma: Yes, I know. This is a yes, yes?
Wood: (shrugs and continues looking like the marfy badger he is)
Emma: (sighs) This is going to be good...
Malfoy: Hell yeah, as long as it's got me and/or him in it, it's all good.
Emma: How very true. (sighs)
Fin.
(A/N: Yes, it's crappiful. Hey. My first fic... a sad attempt at humor. Yes, I know that SEAN IS NOT GAY. But. Jo never said Olly wasn't did she? And, yes, I AM going to write an Oiver/Draco slash. Eventually. Probably. Yeah. Please review! PLEASE!!)
(A/N: I think this is supposed to be funny.... it was writen at about 10:15 on Wednesday, December 11, 2002. I took me a whopping HALF HOUR to write.)
(random chatter)
Emma: All right, everyone, order!
Seamus: A double cheeseburger, large fries...
Pure bloods: What the hell?
Emma: Yeah. Right. That's REALLY old, Seamus. Kind of like that blowing-up- stuff thing. Now, our first order of business. An idea for my first fic.
Ginny: How about Harry finally pays attention to me and we go out and get married and have lots and lots of babies?
Harry: (shuffles his chair towards Cho)
Voldemort: How about I kill everyone except the Slytherins?
Malfoy: How about Voldemort kills everyone except the Slytherins? (slaps Voldy a high five)
Emma: Behave, boys, or your going to your rooms.
Malfoy and Voldy: (cross their arms and pout)
Emma: Right, I can see we're getting nowhere with this. Who should be my main character?
Everyone: Me!
Emma: Anyone have a REASON?
Wood: Because I'm such a sexy sexy badger?
Emma: Excellent! Yes, Sean- er, Oliver, you are. You shall be my main character.
Wood: (shrugs and goes back to moving little wooden people around)
Females: (sigh)
Ron: (glares at Hermione)
Hermione: What?
Ron: Isn't it obvious? I'm jealous of every male you come into contact with because I'm madly in love with you!
Hermione: Oh, is THAT it? Gawrshdarnit, for the smartest girl in school I'm pretty slow.
Ron: You can say that again.
Ron and Hermione: (start snogging passionately)
Fred: Oh, God! That is disturbing! My virgin eyes!
Angelina: Virgin? Have you already forgotten that night of pass-
Everyone: (stares)
Fred: (turns red and runs out of the room)
Emma: (blinks and rolls Ron and Hermione under a table). Right. Now. Who shall dearest Sean- er, Oliver be madly in love with/be madly loved by?
Females: (raise their hands)
Emma: Well, I couldn't possibly choose.... so let's just make up and OC... let's make her name... oh, maybe, Emma...
Dianeus: (thwaps Emma)
Emma: Oh, fine. Let's just call her Diane. (A/N: Just randomly selected... I lurve ALL my Seany people...)
Wood: Is she as deliciously marfy as I am?
Emma: Why, yes, she most definitely is. (A/N: Me? Buttering up to Di@ne? Of course not... but.. . Di@ne... now th@t I'm on this topic... Don't you just lurve @'s? They're so lurvely... I could just sit @nd type @'s @ll day... @@@@@... @nd now that I'm done trying to get Di@ne to make me @ moder@tor, back to the meeting...)
Wood: Yeah. Sounds good. As long as she's sexy and loves quidditch.
Emma: Yup, you got it, hon. Whatever you want. Whatever- (comes out of trance) Um... yeah.
Harry: (stares and wonders why he hasn't said a word).
Harry: Ketchup.
Emma: (blinks) Right. You're all excused. Except you two... (points to Wood and Malfoy)
Everyone except Wood and Malfoy: (leaves)
Emma: Right. Olly, Draco...
Wood, Malfoy: Yes?
Emma: What do you think of... slash...?
Wood, Malfoy: (blink and look at each other) Hell, he's sexy.
Emma: Yes, I know. This is a yes, yes?
Wood: (shrugs and continues looking like the marfy badger he is)
Emma: (sighs) This is going to be good...
Malfoy: Hell yeah, as long as it's got me and/or him in it, it's all good.
Emma: How very true. (sighs)
Fin.
(A/N: Yes, it's crappiful. Hey. My first fic... a sad attempt at humor. Yes, I know that SEAN IS NOT GAY. But. Jo never said Olly wasn't did she? And, yes, I AM going to write an Oiver/Draco slash. Eventually. Probably. Yeah. Please review! PLEASE!!)