by Seishuku Skuld (skuldhotohori@yahoo.com)
Edited by Amberlee (amberlee@fanfiction.net)
Author's Notes: I can't believe I got inspired for this fic over a month ago.
Wow, and I'm barely halfway through it. ^_^
Excuse me if I don't quite even know what I'm doing. **sweatdrop**
Sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long. I had a bad case of writer's block, and a lot of work to do for an Auron costume for ShoujoCon. ^^;; This chapter has also gone through rather extensive revisions. Let's all give Amberlee a pat on the back. ^_^ Thanks go to her for this great chapter! ^_^ **clap clap**
This chapter is dedicated to: Chiko Ri. We'll make a yaoi fan of you yet.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Subaru collapses on the bed, rolling over sleepily. Another late night job. He sighs.
::I have to stop doing these.::
There is a certain pleasure to helping his clients-the relief in their eyes, the smiles on their faces, the aura of happiness that surrounds them is reward enough for him. Subaru sighs and buries his head in the pillow, his mind only tangentially aware of his stereo and its soothing song in the background.
Subaru closes his eyes, his fingers grasping at the CD case lying by his side. He stares at the cover; at the grinning Japanese-American pop star and her bright eyes.
"Isobel." He murmurs the singer's name, turning the jewel case in his hands. Isobel grins at her reflection in a mirror - one of her faces a picture of happiness. Her counterpart stares back at her with a look of melancholy longing.
「幸せになりたい。。。
幸せになりたい。。。
貴方と幸せになりたい
貴方の幸せになりたい
だからつれてって
ここじゃないどこかへ。。。」
I want happiness…I want happiness…
To be happy with you
To be your happiness
So take me
To anywhere but here…
Subaru suddenly looks up, his arms pushing himself from the pillow. He sits up rather tiredly, blinking in the moonlight.
"Isobel." He murmurs the name as he rises from the bed and throws the windows open. Wind spills into his apartment, disturbing his dark curtains and the unkempt tufts of short raven hair that were once exact reflections of his twin's.
"What makes you happy, Isobel?" Subaru asks, his fingers reaching out in an attempt to grasp the elusive slivers of moonlight. He leans out the window, crying to the moon for strength for his answer. A thin, frail arm extends itself to the twinkling sky. His hand opens, cupping the soft moonlight in his palm, pleading to the gods that he may keep a piece of it for himself.
Subaru chokes back a cry, staving off the wave of despair that threatens to overwhelm him. Nevertheless, a small sob finds its way out from the depths of Subaru's chest as the sliver of moonbeam in his hand escapes him. He gasps and withdraws his hand quickly, clasping it to his chest.
He waits for an answer to his question.
「貴方といるだけで幸せな私
貴方が微笑むだけで幸せな私」
The me that is happy just to be with youThe me that is happy just for your smile
But the question just echoes back.
::What makes you happy, Subaru?::
「現実を忘れるように
夢幻にいられるように
ずっと貴方を想っていられるように。。。」
To forget the realityTo be in my reveries
To always be thinking of you
Subaru lets his hands drop. He closes his eyes and lets the moon's ephemeral rays bathe his face, reveling in their feather-light touches. He lets the echoes continue ringing in his ears.
::What makes you happy, Subaru?::
He knows what makes others happy. Everyday, he sees their smiles of gratitude as he assuages their worst fears. Be it a rogue spirit, or a vengeful ancestor, he is always rewarded with their thanks; the relief that their lives can continue uninterrupted.
Subaru always smiles back at them, bowing politely, hiding the emptiness that their smiles cannot fill. He always goes back home and falls onto his bed, his mask slipping from lifeless fingers as the stillness of his room suffocates him. Subaru always lays awake in bed, their faces and their joys already fading.
There is only one face and one joy he wants.
「初めての私の想い
最後の私の願い。。。」
My first thoughtmy last wish…
Subaru snatches at his evasive thoughts. His mouth opens, and forms a sound, perhaps the beginnings of a name.
「私をつれてって。。。」
So take me…
As abruptly as Subaru has realized its lyrics, the song dies. Stark echoes fly about his room, filling the small space with soft, subliminal voices.
The word dies on Subaru's lips, unfinished, as he bursts into tears.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Seishirou is out in the middle of the night. He roams the streets of the city, fulfilling the Tree's desire for blood. He can feel the Tree sitting in the back of his mind, impatiently awaiting its meal.
He glides silently through the darkness, the scent of flowers wafting about his form. He selects his target. A lone figure paces back in forth in the darkness, its silhouette lighted only by a flickering streetlamp a few steps away.
Seishirou continues to walk. He throws his cigarette to the side of the street, forgotten in the midst of the hunter's stalk. He approaches the figure-obviously a woman. She is humming a popular tune softly, stepping to the slow rhythm of the song. Her long legs move back and forth in an intricate dance step.
Suddenly, she turns around and sees the assassin approaching. For a moment she seems suspicious, but then realization gradually dawns.
"Seishirou-san!" she exclaims in surprise, "what are you doing on the streets so late at night?"
The Sakurazuka is for a moment taken aback, but quickly regains his composure. He curses his fortune. "Just out for a late night stroll, Ashley-san," Seishirou replies, forcing his hands nonchalantly into his pockets. "I'm having trouble sleeping tonight."
"Well," the girl grins, "you're not the only one." She laughs, her voice ringing clearly through the night. She is simply a waitress at a small café; one that Seishirou and Subaru frequented during their year together. The Sakurazuka still eats there once in a while, and the foreign girl knows him well. She continues her talk, oblivious to Seishirou's intentions. "I just went clubbing. There's a nice club around here; have to be a member to get in though."
"I see," Seishirou nods, finding himself oddly reluctant to silence the girl speaking to him so animatedly. He will miss her flirtations in the café, and her friendly smile. "I don't go clubbing." But, she is the selected victim of the Sakurazukamori. And once selected, he cannot let the prey escape.
"Oh, I see. Well, it's not for everyone. The Clover's pretty wild, anyway. I'm just waiting here for my boyfriend to pick me up." The waitress grins. "We first met here, so I like to meet him here at night."
"I see," Seishirou smiles. Extending his powers into the street around them he constructs an illusion. The vision rises from the ground - twisting its way about reality, shrouding the phantom buildings in the night. They envelop the pair - crawling like sanguine vines, spreading out - growing until the sorcery is thick and impenetrable. To the girl, it appears as if the streetlight has suddenly winked out. The scent of cherry blossoms begins drifting through the still night air.
"S-Seishirou-san?" Ashley frowns, her hand suddenly moving to grasp his trench coat. The feel of the fabric is smooth beneath her fingers; her grip slips from the dark cloth in surprise. "It's gone dark! I can't see!" Seishirou puts a steadying hand on her shoulder. About them wafts the smell of death, the essence of blood. The scent of all the Sakurazukmori's victims clings to his coat. The girl closes her eyes, irrationally frightened. She finds that it is no less dark.
"It's okay," the assassin soothes, moving backwards a step. He draws his hand back for the kill. It will be quick and effective. He pulls the Tree's presence into his mind, searching for power through their link. "The streetlight has just gone out."
Ashley looks up as Seishirou draws his hand back. All she sees is inky blackness "I—"
"I can't see the moon."
Subaru looks up at Seishirou, his emerald eyes shining with terror. Seishirou's breath stops. The Sumeragi stands before him, mired in a world of endless darkness; his hands folded over his heart. Subaru gazes pleadingly at Seishirou, his verdant eyes full of unfulfilled longing.
Seishirou's own eyes widen with shock; his lips open imperceptibly. It is too late for the assassin to prevent own hand plunging toward the kill.
{NO!}
The spell crackles and fizzles, dissipating into the air. The link between Seishirou and tree severs with a resounding magical snap! The illusion slowly unwinds itself, falling away like thin skeins of water, collapsing and disappearing into nothingness. Seishirou's hand stops mere inches shy of the girl's chest.
"Seishirou-san?" Ashley instinctively moves closer to him, her thin figured huddled in fright, "what was that?"
"I…I'm not sure," Seishirou gasps, an arm coming to wrap about the girl's frail shoulders. "I don't know." And Seishirou realizes with momentary panic, that this is very true. Regardless, he decides quickly, taking the foreigner into his arms. The kill must be made.
"I'm scared, Seishirou-san," Ashley confesses. Her fist closes once more about Seishirou's trench coat. She wraps her arms around his neck.
"It's all right," Seishirou lies, "there's nothing to be afraid of." He brings his hand to the back of her neck, pretending to smooth her hair.
"Nothing to be afraid of," the Sakurazukamori repeats, consoling both the girl and himself. He brings other hand about her chin. Seishirou tilts her head up gently and bends down. The girl closes her eyes. Seishirou smiles and with a deft flick of his arm, the girl slumps dead into his arms, her head lolling at an unnatural angle.
Seishirou smirks; satisfied. It isn't the best way to kill, but it suited the circumstances. He takes the body in his arms, cradling the young waitress's head. The assassin reaches out to the Tree again, and finds it waiting for him, their link locking once more into place. Seishirou weaves another deathly illusion. Holding the girl's slowly cooling corpse, he heads for Ueno Park.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
::No!::
Subaru sits up, gasping. Another nightmare.
He glances at the clock, noting that it is too early in the morning to be up and about.
Lying back in bed, Subaru waits for his heartbeat to slow. He reaches over to his stereo, and turns the CD player on.
::I hope you're well, Isobel.::
The song soothes him-its familiar lyrics, its familiar voice. Subaru closes his eyes, the turmoil of his nightmare subsiding.
::I want happiness.::
Subaru realizes with despair, that he lost it.
He mistook it for something else.
He mangled it.
He threw it away.
He can never ask for it back again.
Alone, in his room, Subaru huddles in his sheets. The window is closed, its dark curtains covering all sight of the moon. Subaru buries himself deeper in the darkness, embracing the stifling loneliness. The emptiness of his apartment resounds in his ears;the echoes of stillness stab at him with accusing silence. Whimpering, the Sumeragi curls up, drawing his knees to his chest.
For the second time that night, Subaru cries himself to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Seishirou tosses his trench coat on the rack and falls heavily onto the welcoming cushions of the couch, kicking his shoes off. It could have gone worse, he admits, but there is something that he still can't shake.
{It could have gone much worse.}
Seishirou closes his eyes in exhaustion, but they immediately snap open again. He remembers seeing Subaru there instead of the girl. He can still see the Sumeragi's terrified eyes; the helplessness about him.
That, for some reason alarms Seishirou. He had already let Subaru leave. He hadn't interfered. He let the boy live his own life.
{Why?}
There are no answers, only the radio softly droning on in the background.
I want happiness…I want happiness…
Why couldn't he forget Subaru?
Why couldn't he kill him?
Why couldn't he let him go?
To be happy with you…To be your happiness…
{What have I done?}
So take me…To anywhere but here…
Seishirou goes his window, a giant sheet of glass stretching from floor to ceiling.
"I can't see the moon."
The Sumeragi's ethereal voice still echoes loudly in his mind.
"There it is, Subaru-kun. Do you see it now?"
Seishirou leans his forehead on the translucent window pane; his eyes raised to the shining moon in the sky.
The Sakurazukamori sighs and closes his eyes, remembering again.
That is all he has left to hold onto.
For the first time in many months, he lets Isobel lull him into a deep slumber.
End Isobel