Part 7
"Emma, we need to talk!" The words she'd been expecting for what seemed like an age echoed through the high ceilings of Sanctuary's living space, and stopped her in her tracks. Slowly she turned to face Adam as he hurried towards her, opening her senses just enough to read the wariness overlaying the deep concern he was feeling for Jesse without allowing the emotion to overpower her. A concern she was sharing, despite her continuing attempts to tell herself that what had been happening to her friend had nothing to do with her.
She produced an apologetic smile - not so hard in the circumstances. "Adam, I'm sorry. I got down there as quick as I could, but he'd already gone. Brennan told me he'd just knocked him down and taken off, so I've been trying to track him..."
Adam shook his head impatiently. "It's OK, we know where to find him - he still has his com-link and the tracer in the BMW is working just fine. Besides, he won't get far - the car is almost out of gas."
"But..." Emma was oddly perplexed by this response. "...then why aren't you going after him? Bringing him back? He shouldn't be out there alone, should he? Not when he can't remember things, can't remember us..." She tailed off at the speculative expression on Adam's face, realising she may have said more than she intended.
"How do you know he doesn't remember us?" The words were quiet but the cool intensity in the tone was obvious. "Shalimar and I only found out right before he ran, and Brennan just thought he was mad at him for some reason."
"I...er..." She sighed, turning away from the dark eyes that bored into her. "I've been trying to track him, like I said. But when I tried to see into his mind, find out where he was, it was like he was a stranger, empty and... and so alone!"
"And you're sure you don't have any idea, however unlikely, what might have caused this?"
"No! I've already told you I don't!" But her protests seemed forced, even to her own ears.
"So you did..." Adam took a deep breath. "Come with me, I want to show you something." And she had no option but to follow him back to the lab.
"Look at these," he ordered, indicating the brain scans still displayed on the monitor. "See the difference between them here..." He leant forward to point out some blue coloured areas among the red and yellow. "...and here? That shows just how far Jesse's memory centres have been disrupted in the past couple of weeks. I'll spare you the technical details, but something has stimulated the memory repressing proteins in his brain to the extent that they're overwhelming those responsible for forming and sustaining long-term memory. And there are clear traces in his memory engrams of psychotronic influence. This was done by a psionic, Emma. And he hasn't been in contact with any psionics recently - except you."
He turned to face her again, settling back against the table with his arms folded, his impatience held in abeyance while he waited for her to respond.
She wanted to tell herself that he didn't mean what he was saying, that he really had no idea what was causing Jesse's problems, that she truly hadn't been responsible for any of this. But it was too easy for her to tell that he was deadly serious. Too easy to feel his caution as he tried to decide how far he could push her for an answer, the ever-present worry that it might already be too late, the tinge of disappointment in his growing belief that she wasn't telling him everything... and all without even having to lower her self-imposed shields.
Which seemed to be more and more the norm these days, at least since her powers had taken that last giant leap into unknown territory.
She turned away, letting her mind roll back again to the forests of Kovakhstan, going over all the ifs and buts that had been plaguing her the past few days. She took a deep breath, knowing that she needed to speak, wanted to speak, but before she could work out where to begin Adam's voice broke into her thoughts.
"Tell me what happened, Emma. Whatever it was, whatever you had to do, we'll understand."
Her head snapped round, eyes darkening from their normal greenish hazel in a way he'd never seen before. "Understand? Do you *really* think any of you could ever truly understand what it's like to have the whole world sharing their thoughts and emotions with you? To never be able to let your defences down, even with your friends, your family?" She stalked towards him, halting a few inches short and glaring up into his face. "Whatever you might think, you can *never* truly know what that's like. And without knowing, there's no way you can understand!"
Adam recoiled just a little before he could stop himself, seeing the flash of what looked like sadness cross her face as she before she stepped back and looked away again. "Maybe not... but I do understand what it's like to have done something you regret, something that you wish with all your heart you could change, put right."
Her eyes slid his way, the darkness gone as suddenly as it had arrived to be replaced by a flicker of hope, of trust.
"Maybe you do..." she whispered.
Adam let out a long slow breath. "So... are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked quietly.
There was an interminable moment of silence that remained unbroken by the wordless shake of her head.
"OK..." He paused again before deciding to venture on. "Then...will you help me cure him?"
Her face went blank, her body language suddenly screaming sullen resistance again. "I can't."
"Can't or won't?" The words were out before he could bite them back.
But her gaze, when she allowed it to meet his, was full of sorrow and regret. "Like I said – you don't understand. I really can't help him. Because I don't know how!!" And with a stifled sob, she turned and ran from the room.
****
"Emma, we need to talk!" The words she'd been expecting for what seemed like an age echoed through the high ceilings of Sanctuary's living space, and stopped her in her tracks. Slowly she turned to face Adam as he hurried towards her, opening her senses just enough to read the wariness overlaying the deep concern he was feeling for Jesse without allowing the emotion to overpower her. A concern she was sharing, despite her continuing attempts to tell herself that what had been happening to her friend had nothing to do with her.
She produced an apologetic smile - not so hard in the circumstances. "Adam, I'm sorry. I got down there as quick as I could, but he'd already gone. Brennan told me he'd just knocked him down and taken off, so I've been trying to track him..."
Adam shook his head impatiently. "It's OK, we know where to find him - he still has his com-link and the tracer in the BMW is working just fine. Besides, he won't get far - the car is almost out of gas."
"But..." Emma was oddly perplexed by this response. "...then why aren't you going after him? Bringing him back? He shouldn't be out there alone, should he? Not when he can't remember things, can't remember us..." She tailed off at the speculative expression on Adam's face, realising she may have said more than she intended.
"How do you know he doesn't remember us?" The words were quiet but the cool intensity in the tone was obvious. "Shalimar and I only found out right before he ran, and Brennan just thought he was mad at him for some reason."
"I...er..." She sighed, turning away from the dark eyes that bored into her. "I've been trying to track him, like I said. But when I tried to see into his mind, find out where he was, it was like he was a stranger, empty and... and so alone!"
"And you're sure you don't have any idea, however unlikely, what might have caused this?"
"No! I've already told you I don't!" But her protests seemed forced, even to her own ears.
"So you did..." Adam took a deep breath. "Come with me, I want to show you something." And she had no option but to follow him back to the lab.
"Look at these," he ordered, indicating the brain scans still displayed on the monitor. "See the difference between them here..." He leant forward to point out some blue coloured areas among the red and yellow. "...and here? That shows just how far Jesse's memory centres have been disrupted in the past couple of weeks. I'll spare you the technical details, but something has stimulated the memory repressing proteins in his brain to the extent that they're overwhelming those responsible for forming and sustaining long-term memory. And there are clear traces in his memory engrams of psychotronic influence. This was done by a psionic, Emma. And he hasn't been in contact with any psionics recently - except you."
He turned to face her again, settling back against the table with his arms folded, his impatience held in abeyance while he waited for her to respond.
She wanted to tell herself that he didn't mean what he was saying, that he really had no idea what was causing Jesse's problems, that she truly hadn't been responsible for any of this. But it was too easy for her to tell that he was deadly serious. Too easy to feel his caution as he tried to decide how far he could push her for an answer, the ever-present worry that it might already be too late, the tinge of disappointment in his growing belief that she wasn't telling him everything... and all without even having to lower her self-imposed shields.
Which seemed to be more and more the norm these days, at least since her powers had taken that last giant leap into unknown territory.
She turned away, letting her mind roll back again to the forests of Kovakhstan, going over all the ifs and buts that had been plaguing her the past few days. She took a deep breath, knowing that she needed to speak, wanted to speak, but before she could work out where to begin Adam's voice broke into her thoughts.
"Tell me what happened, Emma. Whatever it was, whatever you had to do, we'll understand."
Her head snapped round, eyes darkening from their normal greenish hazel in a way he'd never seen before. "Understand? Do you *really* think any of you could ever truly understand what it's like to have the whole world sharing their thoughts and emotions with you? To never be able to let your defences down, even with your friends, your family?" She stalked towards him, halting a few inches short and glaring up into his face. "Whatever you might think, you can *never* truly know what that's like. And without knowing, there's no way you can understand!"
Adam recoiled just a little before he could stop himself, seeing the flash of what looked like sadness cross her face as she before she stepped back and looked away again. "Maybe not... but I do understand what it's like to have done something you regret, something that you wish with all your heart you could change, put right."
Her eyes slid his way, the darkness gone as suddenly as it had arrived to be replaced by a flicker of hope, of trust.
"Maybe you do..." she whispered.
Adam let out a long slow breath. "So... are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked quietly.
There was an interminable moment of silence that remained unbroken by the wordless shake of her head.
"OK..." He paused again before deciding to venture on. "Then...will you help me cure him?"
Her face went blank, her body language suddenly screaming sullen resistance again. "I can't."
"Can't or won't?" The words were out before he could bite them back.
But her gaze, when she allowed it to meet his, was full of sorrow and regret. "Like I said – you don't understand. I really can't help him. Because I don't know how!!" And with a stifled sob, she turned and ran from the room.
****