Part 10
Nightmarish shapes and sounds hurled themselves at him from all directions as he ran, sending him veering away from one imagined peril only to race headlong towards another. Branches nipped at him, snagging his clothes, his hair, feeling for all the world like grasping fingers that he knew he had to evade. So he kept twisting and turning and sliding his way ever onwards.
Several times he'd heard the roar of something big and frightening passing overhead above the tree cover, beams of light stabbing down through the night as they tried to find him, but he knew how to make himself small, invisible even, without realising he was doing it. Beyond conscious thought, he simply reacted, like the hunted animal he'd become.
But he could feel the hunters closing in, hear them shouting distantly over the blood rushing in his ears as he gasped for breath and the clatter of the rain falling through the leaves, shouting his name... And the terror it induced pushed him on and on through the demon-filled forest, temporarily overcoming the nagging sense of hopelessness that was beginning to sap his resolve.
Time and again he thought they'd found him. Time and again he drove himself to elude them. But he was only delaying the inevitable.
Finally, exhausted beyond endurance, his legs wobbling under him like a newborn lamb's, he collapsed into a panting, shivering heap against a tree. Drawing his cut and bleeding feet up under him, he wrapped his arms round his knees and rested his perversely hot forehead against their rain-sodden coolness. And this time, when the lights came out of the dark, and the voices called to each other all around him, he could do absolutely nothing to prevent them taking him.
**
Déjà vu all over again, Adam thought, as he watched Shalimar hovering in mother cat mode by the bio bed. No, not quite the same, he reminded himself, seeing again the evidence of Jesse's desperate attempts to escape in his bandaged feet and the darkening marks adorning his torso.
He'd been in an alarming state when they'd finally tracked him down, and the image of him huddled on the muddy ground, wet and cold and shifting density with every stuttering breath, was still clearly imprinted on Adam's brain. He'd managed to stabilise his physical condition, cleaning the many cuts and abrasions he'd accumulated and using the sonic regenerator to stimulate the heavy bruising towards speedier healing. Drugs had brought his fever down and eased his breathing, and the specially created force field Adam had erected round him was helping to control his powers sufficiently that they weren't in immediate danger of losing him to unexpected sustained phasing. But all that was doing was coping with the symptoms; the underlying problem remained.
He looked down at the young woman standing beside him, her expressionless features hiding what he could only imagine must be mixed emotions at what she was seeing. They hadn't had a great deal of time to talk on their way out to Southmore, or on the return journey when their main focus had been on getting Jesse calm enough to retain at least sufficient awareness of his molecular state to prevent him from inadvertently disappearing through the floor when he phased. But Adam now knew what had happened between him and Emma, and while he still didn't necessarily understand why she'd taken the extra step she had, or why she hadn't wanted to admit to it, he realized that for the moment he'd just have to be grateful they'd got this far. Hopefully there'd be more time to get to the bottom of things later.
There was a noise behind him and he turned to see Brennan appear in the doorway, his still wet clothing showing that he hadn't bothered to stop by his room on his way from the garage to change. He'd volunteered to go back and secure the BMW until someone could get out to retrieve it before returning in the Mustang, allowing Shalimar to provide another pair of hands to help cope with Jesse on the journey home.
Brennan's gaze rapidly swept over the scene ahead before coming to rest on Emma, though his words, when he spoke, were addressed to the room in general. "So, how're we doing? Have we tried the old mind-meld thing yet?"
Shalimar looked round sharply, seeming surprised to see the others there, as if she'd been so taken up with her observation of Jesse that even her feral senses had failed to warn her of their presence. But her focus also seemed to fall on Emma, and Adam could sense the psionic's disquiet as she advanced towards them.
"No," he intervened before anything could be said. "I wanted to get Jesse into a more stable condition before we subject him to anything else." He realised immediately that his choice of words could have been better, and he lifted a hand to gently touch Emma's elbow in silent apology and support as he went on. "And Emma needed a little time to prepare. This isn't going to be easy for either of them."
"I don't want to hear it!" Shalimar snapped, coming to a halt in front of them. "It was apparently easy enough to make the choice to just go in and wipe a few memories, to set off this chain reaction in the first place!" She glared at Emma. "What were you thinking? How could you have tried something like that on one of us, taken that chance?"
A flush rose up through the porcelain-white skin of the younger woman's face. "But it wasn't like that... I didn't think there was any risk! I didn't *mean* for this to happen – how can you believe that I did?!"
Shalimar glared at her for a few seconds, then her expression softened a little and she sighed. "It doesn't really matter what I believe. All that matters is that you put it right. Now, before the damage goes any further."
"If it hasn't already gone too far," put in Brennan. "From what I was hearing in the car, it sounded like he was pretty close to losing it on the Helix."
Resentment washed through Emma at their failure to listen to her, to understand, made worse by Adam's soft, "If you're going to do it, it has to be soon. I don't know how much longer I can keep him like this." So much pressure on her, so much energy required to keep her defences maxed against their over-emotional barrage, so much they didn't know, didn't want to know. And they just stood there, pinning her with their expectant stares. Waiting for her to perform miracles. Because that was what this would probably have to be and she didn't know if she was strong enough, skilled enough, to do what was needed. And if she tried and failed, she wasn't sure she could live with the consequences.
"You don't understand!" she blurted out. "I want to help him. I just don't know if I can do it!"
There was a whimper, the barest breath of sound, but enough to have them all turning to the source; Jesse, perhaps disturbed by the tension in the room, the anger in their voices, shifted fretfully in his drug-induced somnolence, trying to curl awkwardly onto his side within his cocooning electrical shield. His eyes opened the merest of slits before closing again with another muted moan.
"Look at him!" Shalimar demanded. "If it wasn't for the force field who knows what state he'd be in. We're out of options here! You have to at least try! Don't you think Jesse would if it was one of us?"
As, in fact, Emma suddenly became all too vividly aware of, he had. She once again heard herself telling him what he had to do, heard the others adding their weight to a peer-pressure full-court press that no-one of Jesse's currently way too fragile self-esteem could possibly have ducked, life-or-death situation or not.
So, of course, he'd taken the challenge they'd thrown down, somehow pushing aside his personal demons and then pushing himself above and beyond any boundaries he might have previously imagined for himself, both physical and mental. And in the process, he'd given them all a chance at survival.
There it was, she realised. A simple question, really; if he could overcome his fear of failure for them, didn't she owe him the same? Which, when put like that, she knew there was only one answer to.
Decision made, she squared her shoulders and walked over to the bed, only peripherally aware of the nods of relieved approval from her friends. "I'm going to need direct contact with him," she said, calling on her calming mantras to allow her to shed her anxieties and centre herself. Adam moved quickly to the force field switch, waiting for her ready signal before turning it off, knowing as she did that there would potentially be very little time before the lack of its protection left Jesse vulnerable to his failing control over his powers.
Emma stretched out tentative fingers to touch his gaunt cheek but snatched them back almost immediately, unnerved by the way he jerked his head reflexively away. Taking a deep breath, she used both hands to cup his face and hold him still, trying not to let the way his eyes rolled around the room in dazed confusion distract her from what she needed to do. Narrowing her focus, she conjured up an image of his mind in her own, locating and then zeroing in on his memory centres, using that to fashion the telepathic probe she sent surging into the real thing. Deeper and deeper she went, peeling back the layers of his psyche until she reached the place she'd last visited all those days ago. But now, where there had been life, colour, multi-faceted shades of light and dark, there was for the most part nothing - a void with only the vaguest puddles of murk-filled existence fringing it.
She wanted to cry out at the loneliness she felt there, the child-like bewilderment at this enforced isolation, but she couldn't allow herself the luxury of acknowledging the emotion. Refining her probe, she went in search of a place to try and start her repairs, finding the one bright spark, the core of self-awareness that he was clinging to, and latching into it. Encompassing it with her thoughts, tugging it gently away from the darkness, she drew on all her mental energy as she treated it to a burst of revitalising power and then pushed it firmly back towards the void, seeing it impact and rebound before regaining contact. And that point of contact glowed light again with renewed life, creating a second spark that in turn gave life to another, and another and another and on and on... Drained by the effort, she let herself slip from his mind, stumbling back to be caught and supported by waiting hands. But not before she'd seen the colours returning to the nothingness in scintillating bursts.
Watching intently from a discreet distance, the others had seen Jesse stiffen suddenly as Emma's mental blast had first hit, his eyes widening in shock as she'd forced her way in. Now, the shock gave way to excruciating pain, pure agony that contorted his pale features and had him writhing against the bed. His hands came up to claw at his head as he howled out his torment and suffering to the distant corners of Sanctuary, the sound striking straight to the hearts of those listening. Then abruptly, mercifully, he slumped back, his beleaguered senses finally giving in to the inevitable.
Adam hastily checked the monitors, relieved to see them registering a low but acceptable level of vital sign activity, before switching the precautionary force field on again. That done, he glanced round at a fragile-looking Emma leaning into Brennan for support, lifting a questioning eyebrow which prompted a small nod.
"I think it worked," she whispered. "At least, I think it got things started."
Adam nodded back, his attention returning to the unmoving figure beside him. "Then it's all up to Jesse now."
****
Nightmarish shapes and sounds hurled themselves at him from all directions as he ran, sending him veering away from one imagined peril only to race headlong towards another. Branches nipped at him, snagging his clothes, his hair, feeling for all the world like grasping fingers that he knew he had to evade. So he kept twisting and turning and sliding his way ever onwards.
Several times he'd heard the roar of something big and frightening passing overhead above the tree cover, beams of light stabbing down through the night as they tried to find him, but he knew how to make himself small, invisible even, without realising he was doing it. Beyond conscious thought, he simply reacted, like the hunted animal he'd become.
But he could feel the hunters closing in, hear them shouting distantly over the blood rushing in his ears as he gasped for breath and the clatter of the rain falling through the leaves, shouting his name... And the terror it induced pushed him on and on through the demon-filled forest, temporarily overcoming the nagging sense of hopelessness that was beginning to sap his resolve.
Time and again he thought they'd found him. Time and again he drove himself to elude them. But he was only delaying the inevitable.
Finally, exhausted beyond endurance, his legs wobbling under him like a newborn lamb's, he collapsed into a panting, shivering heap against a tree. Drawing his cut and bleeding feet up under him, he wrapped his arms round his knees and rested his perversely hot forehead against their rain-sodden coolness. And this time, when the lights came out of the dark, and the voices called to each other all around him, he could do absolutely nothing to prevent them taking him.
**
Déjà vu all over again, Adam thought, as he watched Shalimar hovering in mother cat mode by the bio bed. No, not quite the same, he reminded himself, seeing again the evidence of Jesse's desperate attempts to escape in his bandaged feet and the darkening marks adorning his torso.
He'd been in an alarming state when they'd finally tracked him down, and the image of him huddled on the muddy ground, wet and cold and shifting density with every stuttering breath, was still clearly imprinted on Adam's brain. He'd managed to stabilise his physical condition, cleaning the many cuts and abrasions he'd accumulated and using the sonic regenerator to stimulate the heavy bruising towards speedier healing. Drugs had brought his fever down and eased his breathing, and the specially created force field Adam had erected round him was helping to control his powers sufficiently that they weren't in immediate danger of losing him to unexpected sustained phasing. But all that was doing was coping with the symptoms; the underlying problem remained.
He looked down at the young woman standing beside him, her expressionless features hiding what he could only imagine must be mixed emotions at what she was seeing. They hadn't had a great deal of time to talk on their way out to Southmore, or on the return journey when their main focus had been on getting Jesse calm enough to retain at least sufficient awareness of his molecular state to prevent him from inadvertently disappearing through the floor when he phased. But Adam now knew what had happened between him and Emma, and while he still didn't necessarily understand why she'd taken the extra step she had, or why she hadn't wanted to admit to it, he realized that for the moment he'd just have to be grateful they'd got this far. Hopefully there'd be more time to get to the bottom of things later.
There was a noise behind him and he turned to see Brennan appear in the doorway, his still wet clothing showing that he hadn't bothered to stop by his room on his way from the garage to change. He'd volunteered to go back and secure the BMW until someone could get out to retrieve it before returning in the Mustang, allowing Shalimar to provide another pair of hands to help cope with Jesse on the journey home.
Brennan's gaze rapidly swept over the scene ahead before coming to rest on Emma, though his words, when he spoke, were addressed to the room in general. "So, how're we doing? Have we tried the old mind-meld thing yet?"
Shalimar looked round sharply, seeming surprised to see the others there, as if she'd been so taken up with her observation of Jesse that even her feral senses had failed to warn her of their presence. But her focus also seemed to fall on Emma, and Adam could sense the psionic's disquiet as she advanced towards them.
"No," he intervened before anything could be said. "I wanted to get Jesse into a more stable condition before we subject him to anything else." He realised immediately that his choice of words could have been better, and he lifted a hand to gently touch Emma's elbow in silent apology and support as he went on. "And Emma needed a little time to prepare. This isn't going to be easy for either of them."
"I don't want to hear it!" Shalimar snapped, coming to a halt in front of them. "It was apparently easy enough to make the choice to just go in and wipe a few memories, to set off this chain reaction in the first place!" She glared at Emma. "What were you thinking? How could you have tried something like that on one of us, taken that chance?"
A flush rose up through the porcelain-white skin of the younger woman's face. "But it wasn't like that... I didn't think there was any risk! I didn't *mean* for this to happen – how can you believe that I did?!"
Shalimar glared at her for a few seconds, then her expression softened a little and she sighed. "It doesn't really matter what I believe. All that matters is that you put it right. Now, before the damage goes any further."
"If it hasn't already gone too far," put in Brennan. "From what I was hearing in the car, it sounded like he was pretty close to losing it on the Helix."
Resentment washed through Emma at their failure to listen to her, to understand, made worse by Adam's soft, "If you're going to do it, it has to be soon. I don't know how much longer I can keep him like this." So much pressure on her, so much energy required to keep her defences maxed against their over-emotional barrage, so much they didn't know, didn't want to know. And they just stood there, pinning her with their expectant stares. Waiting for her to perform miracles. Because that was what this would probably have to be and she didn't know if she was strong enough, skilled enough, to do what was needed. And if she tried and failed, she wasn't sure she could live with the consequences.
"You don't understand!" she blurted out. "I want to help him. I just don't know if I can do it!"
There was a whimper, the barest breath of sound, but enough to have them all turning to the source; Jesse, perhaps disturbed by the tension in the room, the anger in their voices, shifted fretfully in his drug-induced somnolence, trying to curl awkwardly onto his side within his cocooning electrical shield. His eyes opened the merest of slits before closing again with another muted moan.
"Look at him!" Shalimar demanded. "If it wasn't for the force field who knows what state he'd be in. We're out of options here! You have to at least try! Don't you think Jesse would if it was one of us?"
As, in fact, Emma suddenly became all too vividly aware of, he had. She once again heard herself telling him what he had to do, heard the others adding their weight to a peer-pressure full-court press that no-one of Jesse's currently way too fragile self-esteem could possibly have ducked, life-or-death situation or not.
So, of course, he'd taken the challenge they'd thrown down, somehow pushing aside his personal demons and then pushing himself above and beyond any boundaries he might have previously imagined for himself, both physical and mental. And in the process, he'd given them all a chance at survival.
There it was, she realised. A simple question, really; if he could overcome his fear of failure for them, didn't she owe him the same? Which, when put like that, she knew there was only one answer to.
Decision made, she squared her shoulders and walked over to the bed, only peripherally aware of the nods of relieved approval from her friends. "I'm going to need direct contact with him," she said, calling on her calming mantras to allow her to shed her anxieties and centre herself. Adam moved quickly to the force field switch, waiting for her ready signal before turning it off, knowing as she did that there would potentially be very little time before the lack of its protection left Jesse vulnerable to his failing control over his powers.
Emma stretched out tentative fingers to touch his gaunt cheek but snatched them back almost immediately, unnerved by the way he jerked his head reflexively away. Taking a deep breath, she used both hands to cup his face and hold him still, trying not to let the way his eyes rolled around the room in dazed confusion distract her from what she needed to do. Narrowing her focus, she conjured up an image of his mind in her own, locating and then zeroing in on his memory centres, using that to fashion the telepathic probe she sent surging into the real thing. Deeper and deeper she went, peeling back the layers of his psyche until she reached the place she'd last visited all those days ago. But now, where there had been life, colour, multi-faceted shades of light and dark, there was for the most part nothing - a void with only the vaguest puddles of murk-filled existence fringing it.
She wanted to cry out at the loneliness she felt there, the child-like bewilderment at this enforced isolation, but she couldn't allow herself the luxury of acknowledging the emotion. Refining her probe, she went in search of a place to try and start her repairs, finding the one bright spark, the core of self-awareness that he was clinging to, and latching into it. Encompassing it with her thoughts, tugging it gently away from the darkness, she drew on all her mental energy as she treated it to a burst of revitalising power and then pushed it firmly back towards the void, seeing it impact and rebound before regaining contact. And that point of contact glowed light again with renewed life, creating a second spark that in turn gave life to another, and another and another and on and on... Drained by the effort, she let herself slip from his mind, stumbling back to be caught and supported by waiting hands. But not before she'd seen the colours returning to the nothingness in scintillating bursts.
Watching intently from a discreet distance, the others had seen Jesse stiffen suddenly as Emma's mental blast had first hit, his eyes widening in shock as she'd forced her way in. Now, the shock gave way to excruciating pain, pure agony that contorted his pale features and had him writhing against the bed. His hands came up to claw at his head as he howled out his torment and suffering to the distant corners of Sanctuary, the sound striking straight to the hearts of those listening. Then abruptly, mercifully, he slumped back, his beleaguered senses finally giving in to the inevitable.
Adam hastily checked the monitors, relieved to see them registering a low but acceptable level of vital sign activity, before switching the precautionary force field on again. That done, he glanced round at a fragile-looking Emma leaning into Brennan for support, lifting a questioning eyebrow which prompted a small nod.
"I think it worked," she whispered. "At least, I think it got things started."
Adam nodded back, his attention returning to the unmoving figure beside him. "Then it's all up to Jesse now."
****