THEY SHOOT VAMPIRES, DON'T THEY?

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Raziel, Kain & Nosgoth belong to Eidos Interactive, Crystal Dynamics and Silicon Knights: Kurt Wagner (the fuzzy-elf) belongs to Marvel Comics. Lupa and Vladimir (never to be separated) belong to me. Thankyou for reviewing, everyone! To be honest, I didn't think what I wrote made a lot of sense…but there ya go… ^_^

VladimirsAngel: *pats Kain on the head patronisingly* There there.

Kain: *sniffles* Why are you so mean to me?

VladimirsAngel: *considers* Because you hate my favourite blue-boy, Raz.

Kain: He keeps coming back and hitting me! Last time he shoved a flowery vest top in my mouth! *sobs* Little flowers! In pink and lilac!

Raziel: *snidely* Cry-baby. You're lucky it wasn't a gypsy top in real linen.

VladimirsAngel: *Sniggers*

Lupa and Raziel are arguing in the Frost Room, the room in Vladimir's house that Raziel now uses.

Lupa: Nuh-uh. No way. I am not sharing a bed with you.

Raziel: Fine. Sleep on the floor.

Lupa looks at the floor. It's tiled, no rugs or cushions. And it's cold. She pouts.

Lupa: I have an idea. Why don't you sleep on the floor?

Raziel: This is my room! It's not my fault you can't sleep on the sofa because it's still dripping wet and covered in soot.

Something suddenly occurs to him.

Raziel: Wait a minute! You live here too. Why aren't you sleeping in your own room?

Lupa shudders.

Lupa: You've never been in my room, have you.

Raziel: *realising* Now that you mention it, no.

Lupa: There's a really good reason for that…

Vladimir: *walking past up the stairs in his bathrobe* Yeah, the fact that you can't open the door due to the amount of crap she keeps on the floor.

Lupa throws a hairbrush at him and he flees up the stairs, giggling.

Raziel: *severely* You are terrible. I know Dumahim who clean up their pits better than you.

Lupa: So please can I have the bed?

The bed in the Frost Room is a queen-size. Raziel frowns at her.

Raziel: Yes.

Lupa hugs him.

Lupa: You're so great.

Raziel: *hold up one claw* On one condition. You can have the bed, but it comes as a package, with me in it.

Lupa growls under her breath.

Lupa: Fine. But if you snore I'm going to go sleep in the bath-tub.

Raziel: *deadpan* I shall practice snoring immediately.

Lupa goes down to the green bathroom to brush her teeth like a good little wolf-girl, and finds Kurt already in there combing his fur.

Kurt: Wie geht's?

Lupa: *sulkily* Schlecht, and getting worse by the minute. Do you know I have to share a bed with Raziel?

Kurt: *archly* Now you know you wouldn't mind as much if he was still looking his old self…

Lupa: *slaps him lightly on the arm* Bad Kurt. Go to your room.

Kurt: *grinning* I'd let you share with me, but…oh wait…I don't want you sharing with me. You kick.

Lupa: *furious* I do not!

Kurt: Yes, you do. We were in a two-man tent, remember? There wasn't anyone else it could have been. (VladimirsAngel would like to point out that the camping story is an entirely different matter which we won't go into here!)

Lupa: *pointing imperiously* OUT!

Kurt bounds lightly up the stairs. As he passes the Frost Room, he pokes his head around the door.

Kurt: Good luck, Raziel.

Raziel: *busy fluffing pillows* What?

Kurt: I heard you're sharing with the drop-kick wonder tonight. Ask Vladimir. He used to play cricket. He has shin-pads.

Raziel: *amused* Good night, Kurt.

Kurt: Suit yourself.

He heads upstairs to his room, the Devil's Room, in the attic. When Lupa comes back upstairs, Raziel is already in the bed, the corner of the duvet tucked protectively under his shoulder. Lupa gets in as far across the opposite side as she can manage, and tries to pull some duvet over herself.

Lupa: *grumpily* Kurt's been using my comb again...blue fur everywhere…I hate him sometimes.

Raziel: *sighs* Do I get to turn the light out now and go to sleep or am I going to have to listen to half an hour of complaints first?

Lupa: *sarcastically* Oh, don't feel obligated.

Raziel: Good night, then.

He turns the light off. There is a blessed period of silence lasting approximately thirty seconds, then:

Lupa's voice: Ow! *a pause* Is that your hoof?

Raziel says nothing.

Lupa's voice: You've got really cold feet, do you know that?

Raziel's voice: *sardonic* Really? Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that there's been no duvet covering them since you got in the bed.

Lupa turns on the light and sits up, angrily.

Lupa: Listen, you…

Raziel takes advantage of his opportunity to try and steal some duvet back. Lupa takes hold of her side and pulls. The duvet makes a strained sound, as if it is about to split.

Raziel: *angrily* You're taking too much.

Lupa: I have bad circulation. I need warmth.

Raziel: I don't have any circulation at all! I get cold very easily!

Lupa rolls herself in as much duvet as she can get and reaches over to turn the light off.

Lupa: *sternly* Good night.

Raziel: Good night.

About a minute passes, then Raziel angrily turns the light on again. Lupa has cocooned herself in the duvet, leaving him with nothing.

Raziel: Give that back!

Lupa: *somewhat indistinctly* No. Go away.

Raziel: Give it back now!

Cut to upstairs, in Vladimir's bedroom, where Vladimir is happily sprawled on his bed reading The Nexus Chronicle and filing his claws: he jumps as Raziel's angry tones filter up through the floorboards, and then a hefty thumping, as of things being thrown around below.

Vladimir groans and picks up a broom-handle.

Vladimir: *rapping on the floor* Keep it down! There's people up here trying to sleep!

Below, Raziel and Lupa are once again making an attempt to share out the duvet.

Lupa: You've got wings. Why don't you sleep under them?

Raziel: *nastily* You've got fur. Why are you bothering with a duvet?

He turns over and one of his wings slaps her in the face.

Lupa: Ow!

She sniffles, quietly, for some minutes, then starts to cry, softly. Raziel, horrified, moves closer to her, reaching out with one claw.

Raziel: Are you okay? Lupa?

She wails.

Lupa: I hate you! That really hurt!

Raziel is mortified.

Raziel: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…

Lupa, with the speed of a striking snake, darts out a hand and steals the duvet from him.

Lupa: *from within her duvet* Ha ha! Sucker!!

Raziel: *getting out of bed* That was low.

Lupa pokes her head out of her duvet-nest.

Lupa: Where are you going?

Raziel: Somewhere more peaceful.

Cut to Kain, sitting in his throne room and playing with a Gameboy that Lupa left behind in Nosgoth on one occasion: he is still slightly sooty.

The doors of his chambers burst open: Raziel walks in, trailing a sleeping bag from one claw. Kain drops the Gameboy in shock.

Kain: Raziel? What are you doing here?

Raziel: I need somewhere to sleep.

Kain: Last time I looked, you had your own castle.

Raziel: It's cold. And besides, she may come looking for me there.

Kain looks at his fledgling sagely.

Kain: Women trouble, huh.

Raziel: I don't want to talk about it.

Kain holds up his hands in a conciliatory motion.

Kain: Fine. Fine. Take the corner over there.

Raziel: Why over there?

Kain: It's the least draughty. What, you think I don't care?

Raziel takes his sleeping bag over to the corner and sits down. Kain returns to his computer game, glancing up occasionally to see what Raziel is doing.

Kain: You know I'm obligated to scream defiance and try and kill you at least three times tonight, don't you.

Raziel: Yes, yes. Just try not to scream too loudly and I'm sure it'll be fine.

Kain: Goodnight, son.

Raziel: Goodnight.

Back in Vladimir's house, Lupa is huddled in the very centre of the bed in the Frost Room. The stairs creak outside the door, and she looks up in horror, eyes shining.

Lupa: H-hello…?

In response, thunder rolls across the Nexus sky, and lightning forks down outside the window. Lupa dives under the duvet and quivers.

Lupa: *under her breath* Raz, where are you…?

There! And I didn't victimize Kain…much…*grins*.