THEY SHOOT VAMPIRES, DON'T THEY?

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: You know it…Raziel, Nosgoth, Kain – belonging to Eidos Interactive, Crystal Dynamics, Silicon Knights. Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) belonging to Marvel Comics. Legolas the Elf – belonging to JRR Tolkein. Lupa & Vladimir? Belonging to me. Please do not sue. I have no money.

Thank you for all your reviews – you're so nice to me!!!! ^_^ *clears throat* and now the shameless plug for my own stuff…I have an original story featuring Lupa & Vladimir now up! If you fancy a read, go and visit it (link's in my profile) and tell me what you think. If you don't fancy reading it, I still love ya anyways…:)

Let the game go on!

Raziel irritably throws down some tiles.

Raziel: M-A-S-S on the front of Vladimir's A-C-R-E. Massacre.

Vladimir: *nudging Kurt* Add it up.

Kurt: *who has not been concentrating* Was?

Vladimir: The score. Add it up.

Kurt: *sullenly* Ja, ja.

Rat: Why did you let him do the scoring? He's not all there, that boy.

Vladimir: *snippily* We let him do it because you cheated last time and no-one thinks I can add up right.

Lupa: You can't.

Raziel: *seeing an opportunity to be bitchy* How many fingers am I holding up, Vladimir?

Vladimir: Get lost, decomposing harridan.

There is a pause: Kurt, realising it's now his turn, picks up his slate with a sigh. The others relax back. This has been known to take some time. Lupa and Rat are leaning across each other, peering at each others' tiles and whispering.

Lupa: That is not a word.

Rat: It is.

Lupa: It's not.

Rat: Well, what would you call one of those, then?

Lupa thinks about it.

Lupa: *sniffily* I wouldn't talk about them. I have manners.

Rat: Charming.

She glances at Lupa's tiles.

Rat: What's that one?

Lupa: *loudly* Ssh!

Vladimir and Raziel stare at them suspiciously.

Rat: *persistently* It's a really odd-looking one, that. Could sort of be an 'E'…

Vladimir: *warning tone* Lupa….are you using Legolas' rune-scrabble pieces again?

Lupa gives in and hands it to him.

Lupa: *sulkily* It looks almost like an E. I was hoping you wouldn't notice.

Vladimir: What? After last time? When he tried to spell "library" in Elvish? Not a chance.

Lupa: The way I remember it, you only made him stop because your Elvish spelling is atrocious and he was winning.

Kurt: *cheerfully putting his tiles down* H-Y-P-O-C on the front of Raziel's R-I-T-E. And a double-letter score.

Vladimir: Well there's no need to be like that about it!

Rat: *watching Kurt add up his new score, which brings him level with Vladimir in second place – Raziel, surprisingly, is in the lead* See? Now he adds up. When it's to his advantage.

Kurt glares at her, and Lupa intercedes before any violence can ensue.

Lupa: What time is it anyway?

Raziel: *glancing proudly at his new watch* About ten past five.

Lupa: What? Oh, dear God.

Vladimir: *who has had his good mood thoroughly spoilt* Well, you can see why she's upset. She obviously needs a lot more beauty sleep than the rest of us, poor child.

Lupa: *inscenced* Oooh you hideous great tart.

Raziel: *to Kurt* Is there something…you know…I should know about Vladimir?

Kurt: *chuckles* No, he's straight. It's just unfortunate that he seems to have developed the "über-bitch" gene. It's a cat thing.

Lupa and Vladimir have resorted to pushing each other by this stage.

Lupa: *trying to poke him in the eye* Big-muzzled maneless spotted-cub.

Vladimir: Go chase a few cars, you huge-eared slobbering monster.

They proceed to fight. Rat shuffles over to sit closer to Kurt.

Vladimir: My ancestors were the symbol of the British Empire!

Lupa: Yeah? Yeah? Well my ancestors founded Rome! Beat that, pussycat!!

Raziel: *who has been staring at the board* Uh…Lupa?

The Scrabble board has suddenly begun to glow, the carefully arranged tiles pulsing with eldritch green light.

Raziel: *leaning over the board* Is that what I think it is...?

Kurt: Ich weiß nicht. What do you think it is?

Raziel: By some terrible co-incidence I think we have managed to perform the summoning rite on one of the nastier Elder Demons.

Rat: What? By playing Scrabble?

Raziel: *pointing at the board* Strictly speaking, by putting down the words 'summon' 'evil' flatten' 'massacre' and 'now', in interlinking patterns.

The board begins to hum nastily, and Kurt grab's Lupa's arm as she is about to use it to great effect on Vladimir's chin.

Kurt: I think you should look at this.

Lupa looks.

Lupa: *small voice* Vladimir?

Vladimir: *smaller voice* Y-yes?

Lupa: Are you sure you know the difference between a Ouija board and a Scrabble board?

Vladimir: You don't get triple-letter scores on a Ouija board?

The lights abruptly go out in the lounge, and only Raziel and Kurt's eyes, glowing with their own light, can be seen.

Rat's voice: Would anyone like a biscuit?

Lupa's voice: *sarcastically* Only if it can be used as a candle.

What horrible forces has Vladimir's Scrabble game unleashed? More soon!! ^_^