THEY SHOOT VAMPIRES, DON'T THEY?
Chapter 5
Disclaimer: *clears throat* Raziel, Kain, Nosgoth – belonging to Eidos Interactive, Crystal Dynamics, Silicon Knights. Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) belonging to Marvel Comics and the great Stan Lee. Lupa, Vladimir – Okay. I guess I have to take responsibility somewhere….and Rat? Belonging to The Deville's Dog.
*grins* I love a good game of possessed Scrabble, don't you? Play on!
In the darkness, Raziel brings his claws up and fire sparks briefly around them. The short, reddish glow illuminates the others in the room, and the scattered remains of the Scrabble board.
Raziel: Does this mean I win?
His glyph runs out and the room is plunged into blackness again. There is the sound of Lupa poking him in the arm.
Raziel's voice: Ow!
Lupa's voice: *grumbling* Does it really matter if you win? Honestly…..men.
Vladimir's voice: Did he though?
Rat's voice: *firmly* I don't think so.
Kurt's voice: This is getting silly. Hold on.
Raziel's voice: *incredulously* Getting silly? You mean this was serious once?!
The sound of an implosion of air indicates the mutant has teleported. He returns, seconds later, holding a torch.
Lupa: *taking it from him* Thanks.
She plays the thin beam of light around the room, counting under her breath.
Lupa: One…two….three…
Vladimir: *blinking as light hits his eyes* What are you muttering about?
Lupa: *seemingly ignoring him* …four...five…Oh! That's all right then.
Vladimir: *testily* What's all right?
Lupa: I was just checking there were still only five of us. You know, in horror movies, it always happens that when the heroes turn the lights back on, there's an extra person in the room and it's the killer.
She becomes aware that Raziel and Kurt, who have the best night-vision and can see in almost total darkness, are standing very still, watchfully, their glowing, empty eyes fixed….
Raziel: *carefully* Lupa, there's another movie cliché you should be aware of…
Lupa: *miserably* He's behind me, isn't he?
She turns. The torch is swept from her hands by a vast, scaly tail, and in the blackness by the far wall, something massive grunts irritably and shifts position. The crockery on the welsh dresser goes *clink* with the weight.
Everyone in the room except Raziel: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Raziel: Let me at him! Let me at him! I do not fear you, demon!
Vladimir: Somebody stop him before he gets mashed into jelly.
Kurt and Lupa lay hold of Raziel and they all flee up the stairs, the sounds of the demon's breathing hissing in their ears. Raziel struggles.
Raziel: Let me go. I want to destroy him.
Lupa: *soothingly* Run like buggery now, destroy later.
Kurt: *dragging an increasingly rabid Raziel by the arm* Is he always like this?
Lupa: Pretty much. I'm thinking of renaming him Stitch. (see note at bottom of page if this makes no sense!!! –V.A.)
They run into The Devil's Room in the attic. Kurt slams the door behind them and bolts it. Lupa deposits Raziel on the bed.
Lupa: Just sit there and don't try to kill anything.
Raziel: *sulkily* 'Kay.
Vladimir and Rat are opening the window – the fire escape ladder outside leads down into the bushes in Vladimir's back garden. It is a clear night, and the moonlight gleams cheerfully from the shiny carved surface of the warp-gate at the bottom of the garden.
Rat: *interested* Gate.
Vladimir: *nodding maniacally* Gate. Big gate. Gate that leads to places that evil demon things are not.
Lupa: You mean you're just going to abandon your house? That thing downstairs could reduce it to rubble.
Vladimir: Better rubble than entrails. All those in favour of scarpering through the gate?
Rat: Aye.
Kurt: *after a brief hesitation* Aye.
Raziel: Nay.
Lupa: But that gate leads to Nosgoth! You want to go somewhere that evil demon things are not, that's the wrong gate to pick!
Raziel and Vladimir glance briefly at each other: Raziel nods, quickly.
Vladimir: *climbing down off the windowsill* Okay. Change of plan.
Raziel carefully creeps downstairs, his arm raised before him, the Soul Reaver curling up to his shoulder and illuminating the room with pale blue light. Behind him on the stairs, Lupa and Rat are crouched, waiting and watching.
The demon is hulked over the TV, watching The Simpsons with subtitles. Raziel prods it in the butt, disrespectfully, with the end of the Reaver. It growls and turns a pair of cat-like yellow eyes upon him.
Lupa: *from behind him* Oi! Ugly demon dude!
Raziel: Now! Now!
Rat, Vladimir, Lupa and Kurt pelt down the stairs and out through the front door, leaving it swinging in their wake. The demon huffs angrily and manoeuvres its massive scaly body around to follow them, which is when Raziel slyly aims a fire glyph between its legs. There is a short, painful explosion, and the demon, yowling, lumbers into a run.
Raziel: *Shouting out the door* It's on the move and not looking likely to stop!
Vladimir and Lupa are leading the run to the gate, with Kurt and Rat keeping a close second.
Lupa: *hearing Raziel's bellowed warning* Now he tells us!?
Vladimir lays one hand on the gate and it explodes into life, the warp-bubble activating and glowing green. It has barely time to settle before he has run through it, closely followed by Rat.
Kurt: I'll wait for Raziel.
Lupa: *pushing him* No, I'll do it. Get going.
Further argument is cut short as Raziel himself comes sprinting down the garden, hooves cutting swathes of turf up around him.
Raziel: It's right behind me! Why are you still here?
He vanishes into the gate as the ground begins to shake under the demon's footfalls, dragging Lupa with him. Kurt takes one look back as the demon charges forward: then he too dives through the gate and is gone.
Cut to: the tunnels outside the Clan Territories. A lone Dumahim fledgling patrols up and down, ceaselessly. He's bored. His orders? To watch out for the return of the traitorous Lord Raziel, who apparently has been wreaking havoc throughout Nosgoth once again. Patrolling outside the door to the local warp-gate room seemed like a good idea at the time.
The door is flung open, and the Dumahim finds himself nose-to-cowl with Raziel.
Raziel: Sorry. No time. Promise I'll kill you later.
He sprints past, followed by a motley crew of two wolf-girls, a lion-man and a blue-furred mutant, heading for Kain's throne room. The fledgling just stares.
Rat: *looking about her in distaste* Where are we?
Lupa: Nosgoth. Home to many vampires and practically no plant life whatsoever.
Rat: *hopefully* But there's pizza delivery, right?
Vladimir: I think this is the one place Domino's won't go, kid.
Kurt: No, this doesn't look like moped country to me.
Raziel: Keep moving. This isn't the sort of place to hang around gossiping in.
They vanish in the tunnels. The Dumahim shakes his ugly head and growls to himself in confusion. His confusion isn't destined to last long, fortunately: he is crushed beneath the demon's vast clawed foot as it plunges furiously through the wall.
Kain: *glancing up from his latest copy of Killing & Maiming Monthly* What was that?
Unlucky Turelim: What, O Master?
Kain: *listening intently* Is someone doing home improvements…?
Unlucky Turelim: *shuffling his feet* We weren't going to tell you until it was finished….
Kain: *pleased and amused* What?
Unlucky Turelim: We've…uh…been doing up the kitchen at Melchiah's place. With all new pine fittings.
Kain: *clasping his hands together* Pine? My favourite…
The double doors swing open abruptly, and Raziel skids to a halt in the centre of the floor.
Raziel: Gangway!
Vladimir, Lupa and the rest charge in after him and collapse in an exhausted heap among the pillars.
Lupa: *weakly* Nosgoth, we have a problem.
That's it for now! By the way, if you haven't seen Lilo & Stitch, Stitch is a little blue alien who was genetically designed to destroy everything he sees….^_^