THEY SHOOT VAMPIRES, DON'T THEY?
Chapter…er..um…Disclaimer: Raziel, Kain, Nosgoth: belonging to Eidos Interactive, Crystal Dynamics, Silicon Knights. Kurt Wagner: belonging to Marvel Comics. Rat: belonging to The Deville's Dog ^_^. Lupa and Vladimir? To me, guys….
Yeah, It's short. It may even be boring. Please forgive! I've been ill and trying to organise my wedding and what feels like three million other things. Thank you for all your reviews, and thanks again also to all those who read my original fic (Chapter 2 now up *coughcough*)
:) Enjoy the show…
Kain: *in disbelief* What the – Raziel!
Raziel: Before you say anything, for once, this is not my fault.
Kain gives him a look.
Kain: I doubt that. It's always your fault. Why couldn't you be good like Rahab?
He catches sight of Lupa struggling to breathe.
Kain: Aah! Get her away from me!
Vladimir: *suspiciously, to Lupa* What did you do this time? Honestly, there isn't a world I can go to these days that you haven't contaminated. You're like a virus.
He shuts up, aware that Kain is glowering at him.
Kain: *to Kurt* I know you, too.
His eyes narrow angrily.
Kain: I know all of you.
He glances at Rat.
Kain: Except you. *flatly* Nice to meet you, I'm sure.
Rat sulks slightly.
Kurt: Verdamnt charming personality. I'm infamous and irresistable in all dimensions.
Lupa: With all due respect, Mister Kain, could we do this later?
Vladimir: *nodding* Much as I'd love to have a fascinating coffee-morning chat with you, sir, I think we have a bigger problem in hand.
Kain: *suspicious* What have you people done?
From a short distance away, there is a sound of stone crumbling and the roar of an extremely bewildered and angry demon trying to work out his issues on the walls.
Kain: What the hell is that?
Raziel: *as they all edge away from the doors* Dad, do you by any chance have a really big cage?
Lupa: Or a really big stick?
It is obvious that Kain is fighting dual impulses: one, to smash the intruders into pulp: two, to help the intruders smash a demon into pulp. He frowns.
Kain: I don't have anything of the kind…
The doors of Kain's throne room bow inwards with a strained creaking noise. Lupa whimpers and hides behind Raziel.
Kain: …but Melchaiah does. Everybody, this way!
He runs towards the pillars and presses a button. The central pillar vanishes into the floor, revealing a pit and a fireman's pole.
Raziel: *incredulously* How long has this been here?
Kain: How else was I supposed to keep an eye on all of you? Now get down that pole before I swipe you.
Lupa: *sarcastically, following Kain down the pole* "Quick! To the Kain-Cave!"
Kurt: *shinning down the vertical wall beside her* "Holy warp-gates, Bat-Girl!"
Rat: *peevishly, from above* Don't you two ever shut up?
Vladimir: Unfortunately, not in living memory. They think they're being funny.
Lupa: At least we think we're being funny. You just know you're not.
Vladimir: *snippily* Ooh, bitch, bitch, bitch….
Kain's voice: *from the darkness below* Will you girls just stop tweaking each other's pigtails long enough to get your asses in gear?
Raziel's voice: For once, I'm with Dad.
Above, as the pillar slides back into place, the demon crashes into the chamber and bellows at the top of its lungs. When it realises there are no small beings to cower before it, it taps one foot in irritation and starts a search of the throne room.
Below in the tunnels: Raziel and Kain are arguing.
Raziel: You had keys to our rooms as well?!
Kain: Aha, you didn't know that, did you?
Raziel: Turel accused me of reading his diary! It was you, wasn't it?
Kain: *takes up pose, as if quoting* "Oh, I do so wish that my ears were smaller. All the nice girls love Raziel and his ears are tiny…"
Raziel: *furiously* He punched me over that! I owe you a punch!
Kain: Come on then, girly-boy. Let's see what you've got.
They are about to fight, when Vladimir brushes past them.
Vladimir: *smugly* Now who's being bitchy, ladies?
Kain and Raziel stare at each other for a moment.
Kain: Truce?
Raziel: Truce. Now let's get him.
Vladimir starts running.