THEY SHOOT VAMPIRES, DON'T THEY?
Chapter 12
Disclaimer: Kain, Raziel, Vorador and all things Nosgothian belong to Eidos, Crystal Dynamics, Silicon Knights. Kurt Wagner belongs to Marvel Comics. Legolas Greenleaf belongs to JRR Tolkein. Devil May Cry and Dante I believe were created for Capcom…anyway they're not mine. I love cameo appearances, don't you? ^_^ Lupa and Vladimir belong to me.
Yes. I'm back. I have to finish this story soon *wails* I just can't seem to stop!!!
Somewhere inside Vladimir's basement, Kain has fallen victim to the somewhat labyrinthine Silent Hill Room. He has found a blood-stained map, which he is consulting.
Kain: *reading from the map* Let's see…I can't go that way because the roof appears to have fallen in…that room is full of weird creatures hanging from the ceiling…*he grins* Or at least it was…
He pushes at the door nearby. A disembodied voice echoes around the room.
Voice: The door is jammed and cannot be opened.
Kain: *long-suffering* I'd give real money if you'd just shut up.
He accidentally brushes the door again as he turns away.
Voice: The door is jammed and cannot be opened.
Kain: Yeah, yeah….
He pushes a second door, which opens.
Voice: You are now leaving Silent Hill. Welcome to the Devil May Cry Outhouse.
Kain: *glancing around himself* Jeepers.
The door slams shut.
Upstairs, an argument in currently in session. Lupa and Kurt are in favour of going to Kain's rescue: Vladimir and Raziel are against it. Legolas, somewhat sensibly, has gone to his room and is keeping out of it.
Lupa: You know what'll happen. You saw what happened to Angel when he went in there.
Vladimir: *dismissivly* He would have turned into a brooder anyway. He looked the brooding type. You can't prove I caused it.
Kurt: My conscience won't let me leave him there, evil vampire dictator or no. Lupa?
She nods.
Kurt: Let's go.
Raziel: *realising that Lupa is putting herself at risk* Wait…
They both turn and look at him.
Raziel: *heavily* I'll come.
Vladimir: *waving them off without remorse* Have fun, children. I'll make tea for when you get back.
Raziel: *anxiously* Do we have to come back? Ever?
In the Devil May Cry Outhouse, Kain is once again consulting his map.
Kain: Hmmm…looks like I have to take the last mirror on the right, take a short cut through the Underworld, and I should end up back in the Nexus….maybe I should ask directions…hey, excuse me…
He hails a tall man with white hair who is hurrying past.
Man: Yeah?
Kain: Can you tell me how to get to the…*he reads carefully* Hermes mirror?
The newcomer looks at him suspiciously.
Man: Are you a demon?
Kain: Isn't that rather a personal question? I may as well point out that that's a demon sword you're carrying on your back.
Man: *angrily* I'm gonna kick your ass, demon!
Kain: *beginning to feel that this is going to be one of the worst days in his long and eventful life* Try me.
There is a brief, loud and bloody scuffle.
Kain: *shaking out the creases in his map* Now. Where was I?
He glances down at the body on the floor.
Kain: And what kind of battle cry is "Let's rock, baby" anyway?
He deals the fallen Dante a vicious kick to the ribs and walks on.
Outside the door of the Silent Hill room, Kurt Wagner is busy picking the lock: Raziel taps one foot impatiently.
Lupa: *quickly* Please don't do that thing.
Raziel: *stops tapping in confusion* What thing?
Lupa: *fingers in her ears just in case* You know. That thing you do when you're bored.
Raziel: *even more perplexed* What? Beheading Vorador?
Lupa: No.
Raziel: Well, what then? I can't not do it if I don't know what it is…oh, God, am I even making any sense anymore…?
Kurt: *absently* Made sense to me.
Lupa: I'm not saying. If I tell you you'll do it.
Raziel: No I won't!
Kurt: *trying another approach on the lock* She means that neck thing.
Raziel: *surprised* Oh!
He reaches up, and with a horrible rippling snap, cracks his neck to the side. Lupa is practically hopping in disgust.
Lupa: Ooooh! Like fingernails across the blackboard of the soul…
Raziel: No it isn't. I can do that one as well though…find me a chalkboard…
The lock clicks open. Kurt looks up with a triumphant grin.
Kurt: Not bad for a beginner, nicht wahr?
Back in the Devil May Cry Outhouse: Kain cranes his neck upwards and bellows into the roiling sky.
Kain: I understand you're angry, Mundus…but hey…a little help, here? Demon to demon?
*yawns* And now I'm going to go and make some cocoa. I can do boring things like that now I'm old and married. I shall probably have to buy a pair of tartan zip-up bootee slippers and a big cardigan to spill egg on. Please R & R! ^_^