The second part !!! For YOU, Akira14 !!! The second part of YOUR birthday's present !!! Not very happy, for this part... Oh !!! And... Finally, it's not a lemon... Not yet... There will be a part III...
The disclaimers are the same than in part I !!! I don't want to repeat myself...
The Present
Part II
A worried Sendoh look carefully at Koshino. This one had act so strangely during dinner... Of course, he had not seemed please when Sendoh jumped him the instant he entered the house. But... Usually... No, it was not the same... This time, Koshino was not only pissed at him, his body tensed when he touch him... Like if he tried... Like if he REALLY tried to escape his touch... So...
Sendoh was suddenly very paled. Yes, of course... He should have know it... Koshino wanted to break up. That was so... Evident. He wanted to break up... But chose to say nothing today. And he knew why... 'Cause of his birthday. Koshino surely didn't want to break up... To say him He wanted to break up... On his birthday. That was his way to care about him. 'Cause they were friends.
*But nothing else...*
Sendoh bit his lips, not wanting to cry, not wanting Kshino to see his tears... He loved him... He loved him so much... The young angel who saved him when he was a child... He had been so surprised the first time Koshino spoke to him... Somebody... Somebody noticed his presence !!! Somebody realized he was here, realized he existed !!! He was no more a shadow in this world, he was... A person. First time of his life, he realized what it was to be... An human. To be something more than... An object.
Koshino... He had always been here... Since their first meeting... The only light in his life... Bringing him a family, his family, that he accepted to share with him. Sendoh had felt so happy, he was no more alone... And Koshino... There had always be him in his eyes... Him, and only him... Koshino, even with that attitude had always been... The same angel in his eyes... At first he looked at him innocently, he was just happy to have a friend and wanted to be with him all the time... But child grow up. And so hey did. And soon he realized that he loved him. That he wanted him at his side, but not only as a friend... There was some people he thought he could have loved. In fact, only two... But not like he loved his Koshino... He liked them... Rukawa, Sakuragi... But he had Koshino. And even if he liked to tease them -Hell, he was human !!! -, he knew that there was one person... The only one he could love, now. He loved him for a lifetime. And more. Even if Koshino himself...
Sendoh closed his eyes. Of course... He should have know. The way Koshino reacted... He had never wanted... He knew that if they were... -if they had try to be-... Together, it was 'cause of him. He was the one who asked Koshino... To be with him. To be his boyfriend. He had been so afraid at that time... Certain to lost him forever... Terrorized under his smiling mask... Like he had never been in all his life. And he had been right, he finally realized it. Koshino probably accepted to... Give him a chance only 'cause he didn't want to hurt him. But didn't really want to be with him... He was a guy, after all !!! Koshino was open-mind... So was his family. But to be himself with a guy... He should be disgusted.
How could he have even think than somebody wanted him... Wanted to be with him... Of course, he could be useful. Like in the team... But nothing more. After all, even his own parents...
*No, no... Don't think about it...*
It hurt him. He should have been use to it, but... It hurt still. His 'parents'... His wonderful and beloved 'parents'... But it was not surprising. They never wanted him... So they never loved him. Not even liked him... But they were surely right. He didn't worth it. Why should they have been to a lot of trouble to even try to... He didn't knew. To like him, perhaps. He was what he was. He knew it. THEY knew it. So they didn't care...
Koshino cared. At least a little. He didn't worth it but... Koshino cared. 'Cause Koshino was the one he was. But he has his own limits. He cared. Like a friend. He was a fool to have think something else. Koshino accepted to give him his friendship. But couldn't more. How could he have been so stupid to even dream than Koshino could love him ? Like if anybody could love him...
Sendoh clenched his fists. He had always been insecure. And now, he knew why. He should knew that it was only a dream, unconsciously. A wonderfull dream... He should have understand it sooner. And Koshino... Stayed here. Of course, he spoke with him. He was here... But nothing else. Nothing else. NOTHING. Oh God, it hurt. It hurt more than his parents's indifference. 'Cause he had dare to dream about something else. He had dare to hope something... Something forbidden. He had dare to hope to be love...
Koshino was polite. That's all. But he had just to look at him... It was easy to see that his hot-tempered friend feel uncomfortable. He didn't even dare to look at him in the eyes !!! He was here, a little bit nervous... No, not a little, he was VERY nervous. Poor Koshino...
Sendoh smiled sadly. Of course... He already knew what to do. To finish this 'date', this masquerade, as soon as possible... And wait... Just some days. The time for Koshino to say him that he wanted to break up... He'd just to wait for Koshino to say him that... And accept. He couldn't do anything else... He didn't want to break up. God knew, he didn't want it... But he couldn't accept to see his Koshino... To see him in this state... It should not be something easy to do. Oh, no. But he had to. For Koshino's sake. To set him free...
He felt his heart tightened to the thought. If Koshino needed to... Be free, he had no other choice than to accept. He couldn't continue to tortur him like that, he couldn't !!! To see Koshino... To see his only love so uncomfortable... Because of him... Was something he couldn't accept.
How he wanted to be die... Or to never be born. But he couldn't die. Not now, when Koshino wanted to break up. He couldn't let him fell responsible, could he ? He loved him... He loved him so much...
*Hiroaki...*
Time passed slowly... So slowly... He wanted it to be finish. The dinner, the date... To be alone, so he could cry his eyes out. Koshino... His Koshino... His Angel...
*Finally...*
Now, they had finish... The hour ? He didn't know... But it was pitch-black. So it was late. Very late. Good. That was a good excuse... A good reason to separate. Soon he will be alone. He will be able to cry. Nobody to see him... To see his tears... No Koshino to bother about him...
That was probably their last date and he wanted it to be finish... How ironic. Their last date... Before he let Koshino go away. A short separation... Before the REAL one. How he wanted all of to be in the past...
"Kosh... You..."
"Sendoh, I..."
They interrupted themselves. How embarrassing !!! Sendoh felt very nervous. Had Koshino finally decide... That he prefer to not wait before to break up ?
"..."
"..."
" So, what dyou..."
"You have something..."
"..."
"..."
"Ahahah !!! Koshino !!! " Sendoh flashed his famous smile. "You're my guest, speak first !!! "
"..." Koshino hesitated. "Hai..."
Sendoh felt bad... He watched, apparently calm and happy, waiting for Koshino to speak...
"I... Ehrr... This CD I lend to you... I... I need it... My sister want a copy of it, so..."
Sendoh smiled sadly. The CD... XJapan. His favorite group. And Koshino's too. His sister 'need it' ? Well, that was a good excuse... Of course, Koshino wanted his things back. Before break up with him. So it will be easier. No need to meet again after...
"Okay. It's in my room, wait for me and I..."
"No !!! "
" ??? " Sendoh was surprised. What was that for ?
"I... Hrrr... I prefer to go with you..."
Sendoh's eyes widened. What... He didn't understood. He nodded, saying nothing. As they walked towards his room, he let his mind wondering...
How many time had he want Koshino too go with him... Of course, it was not the first time that Kosh went with him, but... What would his Koshino say if he said him WHAT was in his mind every time he saw him in his room...
Sendoh sighed silently. He couldn't see Koshino, but he could feel his presence in his back. His angel... He had grow up so beautiful... His lean frame, his almost androgynous figure... His pale skin... How he had wanted to caress this skin... His face, with this brown gaze which could be so mesmerizely soft at times... His shoulders, his chest... His ass. This tight ass. How many time as he dream that he...
Sendoh blushed lightly. Koshino surely would be disgusted if he knew... How... When he was alone in his bed, at night, he... The way he... masturbated himself, dreaming about that short pretty ass of his... Dreaming he entered it again and again... How would he react if he knew that every night, Sendoh caressed himself, moaning his name as he dreamed about what he wanted to do with him... With his so marvellous body...
Will he stop after... After... They broke up ? Surely not... After all, it was his dreams... All he ever had... He did it before being with Koshino... And he knew he couldn't stop. But Koshino didn't know it. He would NEVER know it...
"Here it is !!! "
Sendoh bent to pick up the CD. He was about to grab it when he suddenly felt... Something. Arms encircling him from behind... He could feel a warmth in his back. Koshino's body, pressed against his...
"Hiroaki ? "
End of Part II
Yes !!! I finish the part !!! Not the lemon part, yet... You've to wait for it... Wait for the part III... It reminds me "Sunset", I first said two parts, now three... -sigh- And I've so many fics to finish !!! -sigh-
About Sendoh... He has wrong about Koshino... This one love him... If you'd read the part I you already know it... But he felt insecure... And remember Koshino never said him he loved him... He is depressed. And about his behaviour, with his parents... All abused children (abused mean not only physically, but also mentally) considered than they are the one responsible... So, what he think is not true... But it's normal, to a certain point of view... *zeynel think about WHAT she want to do to those 'parents'*
Sendoh_Why do I have such a family...
Zeynel_Sendoh...
Sendoh_And Koshino doesn't like me !!! I want to be die !!! *depressed tone*
Zeynel_But... But... *worried look*
Koshino_ZEYNEL !!! It's your fault !!! Look at him !!!
Sendoh_Nobody love me... *watering eyes*
Koshino_ Schhh... *Hug Sendoh* Calm you... * *caress his hair tenderly*
Zeynel_It's all a misunderstanding !!! Wait for the last part !!! I promise you a lemon, you remember ? *cheerful tone*
Sendoh_Really ? *hug Koshino... let his hands wandering -which prove that he feels already better...-*
Zeynel_Of course !!!
_ZEYNEL_