Disclaimer: Nope, not mine, none of it. If Zordon were mine I would try to get his mouth and words in sync with each other.
A/N: Thanks to Rach, just in general.
Diary of the Dumpster
What the heck does a girl like that see in me? And do I want to be with someone who's messed up enough to want to be with me?
I know they all think I don't know, that I'm too blind to see she likes me. But you'd have to be dead not to know – and judging from my usual reaction to seeing Kimberly in pink spandex, I'm not dead.
Not much, anyway.
It's funny, I guess. I would have jumped at asking Kim out before, but… although I'm the same guy I was before Rita messed with my mind, I don't feel much the same. And I wouldn't have said I'm the addictive type, but the truth is, man, I crave that power. I want it back. And there are days when I'd do almost anything to get it.
Scary.
I'm making a stab at being normal, but it's harder than it ought to be. Harder than I thought it would be, anyway, to live like everyone else. I think part of the problem is that I never believed I was supposed to be like everyone else, not even when I was little. I always felt like I was different, set apart. I used to think it was the adopted thing that made me feel like that, but it isn't. Even if I had blood family, I'd still feel it, living inside my skin, this feeling that I'm supposed to be… more.
When I was a kid I loved stories about heroes, knights, paladins. I used to jump around the backyard like a maniac, slaying dragons, rescuing maidens. Saving the world. (It's why I started martial arts, actually – my mom thought it might give me some focus, and use up extra energy. Didn't change anything except the way I defeated the bad guys.) I'd tie a bath towel around my neck and be the white knight who saved the kingdom. Or Tommy Skywalker, defeating Darth Oak Tree.
Maybe if I hadn't wanted it so badly Rita wouldn't have been able to use me. See, at first, inside my head I thought I was the good guy, fighting the evil Rangers. I figured it out pretty quick, but by then it was too late. And after that I used to pretend that I was the leader of the Rangers, battling the evil Green Ranger, and every time they scored a hit I'd cheer inside. Talk about your split personalities.
But then, you know, it was good for a while. I loved being the Green Ranger, once I got free of Rita. Loved it. Sank into it like quicksand, and welcomed it. And now...
Now I have to figure out how to be Tommy again. It's amazing how fast you can forget something like that. And until I do, I can't be with Kim. Who would she be with, anyway?
I really thought, even as the power was leaving me, that Zordon would figure out a way for me to stay.
But I guess that's not going to happen.