SCENE IV. A street.

Enter GOYLE and CRABBE CRABBE Where the devil should this Draco be?

Came he not home to-night? GOYLE Not to his father's; I spoke with his man. CRABBE Ah, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline. Torments him so, that he will sure run mad. GOYLE Tybalt, the kinsman of old Capulet,

Hath sent a letter to his father's house. CRABBE A challenge, on my life. GOYLE Draco will answer it. CRABBE Any man that can write may answer a letter. GOYLE Nay, he will answer the letter's master, how he

dares, being dared. CRABBE Alas poor Draco! he is already dead; stabbed with a white wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a love-song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt-shaft: and is he a man to encounter Tybalt? GOYLE Why, what is Tybalt? CRABBE More than prince of cats, I can tell you. O, he is

the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and

proportion; rests me his minim rest, one, two, and

the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk

button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the

very first house, of the first and second cause:

ah, the immortal passado! the punto reverso! the

hai! GOYLE The what? CRABBE The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting

fantasticoes; these new tuners of accents! 'By Jesu, a very good blade! a very tall man! a very good whore!' Why, is not this a lamentable thing,

grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with

these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these

perdona-mi's, who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot at ease on the old bench? O, their bones, their bones! Enter DRACO GOYLE Here comes Draco, here comes Draco. CRABBE Without his roe, like a dried herring: flesh, flesh,

how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers

that Petrarch flowed in: Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench; marry, she had a better love to

be-rhyme her; Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gipsy;

Helen and Hero hildings and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signior

Draco, bon jour! there's a French salutation

to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit

fairly last night. DRACO Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you? CRABBE The ship, sir, the slip; can you not conceive? DRACO Pardon, good Crabbe, my business was great; and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy. CRABBE That's as much as to say, such a case as yours

constrains a man to bow in the hams. DRACO Meaning, to court'sy. CRABBE Thou hast most kindly hit it. DRACO A most courteous exposition. CRABBE Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy. DRACO Pink for flower. CRABBE Right. DRACO Why, then is my pump well flowered. CRABBE Well said: follow me this jest now till thou hast

worn out thy pump, that when the single sole of it

is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing sole singular. DRACO O single-soled jest, solely singular for the

singleness. CRABBE Come between us, good Goyle; my wits faint. DRACO Switch and spurs, switch and spurs; or I'll cry a match. CRABBE Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I have

done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five: was I with you there for the goose? DRACO Thou wast never with me for any thing when thou wast not there for the goose. CRABBE I will bite thee by the ear for that jest. DRACO Nay, good goose, bite not. CRABBE Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most

sharp sauce. DRACO And is it not well served in to a sweet goose? CRABBE O here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an

inch narrow to an ell broad! DRACO I stretch it out for that word 'broad;' which added

to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose. CRABBE Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? now art thou sociable, now art thou Draco; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature: for this drivelling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole. GOYLE Stop there, stop there.

CRABBE Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair. GOYLE Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large. CRABBE O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short:

for I was come to the whole depth of my tale; and

meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer. DRACO Here's goodly gear! Enter Hermione and HAGRID CRABBE A sail, a sail! GOYLE Two, two; a shirt and a smock. Hermione Hagrid! HAGRID Anon! Hermione My fan, Hagrid. CRABBE Good Hagrid, to hide her face; for her fan's the

fairer face. Hermione God ye good morrow, gentlemen. CRABBE God ye good den, fair gentlewoman. Hermione Is it good den? CRABBE 'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the

dial is now upon the prick of noon. Hermione Out upon you! what a man are you! DRACO One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to mar. Hermione By my troth, it is well said; 'for himself to mar,'

quoth a'? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Draco? DRACO I can tell you; but young Draco will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him: I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse. Hermione You say well. CRABBE Yea, is the worst well? very well took, i' faith;

wisely, wisely. Hermione if you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with

you. GOYLE She will indite him to some supper. CRABBE A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! so ho! DRACO What hast thou found? CRABBE No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie,

that is something stale and hoar ere it be spent. Sings An old hare hoar,

And an old hare hoar,

Is very good meat in lent

But a hare that is hoar

Is too much for a score,

When it hoars ere it be spent.

Draco, will you come to your father's? we'll

to dinner, thither. DRACO I will follow you. CRABBE Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, Singing 'lady, lady, lady.' Exeunt CRABBE and GOYLE Hermione Marry, farewell! I pray you, sir, what saucy

merchant was this, that was so full of his ropery? DRACO A gentleman, Hermione, that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month. Hermione An a' speak any thing against me, I'll take him

down, an a' were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I cannot, I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt- gills; I am none of his skains-mates. And thou must stand by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure? HAGRID I saw no man use you a pleasure; if I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on my side. Hermione Now, afore God, I am so vexed, that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave! Pray you, sir, a word: and as I told you, my young lady bade me inquire you out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself: but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say: for the gentlewoman is young; and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offeredto any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing. DRACO Hermione, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I

protest unto thee-- Hermione Good heart, and, i' faith, I will tell her as much:

Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman. DRACO What wilt thou tell her, Hermione? thou dost not mark me. Hermione I will tell her, sir, that you do protest; which, as

I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer. DRACO Bid her devise Some means to come to shrift this afternoon;

And there she shall at Albus Dumbledore' cell

Be shrived and married. Here is for thy pains. Hermione No truly sir; not a penny. DRACO Go to; I say you shall. Hermione This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there. DRACO And stay, good Hermione, behind the abbey wall:

Within this hour my man shall be with thee

And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair;

Which to the high top-gallant of my joy

Must be my convoy in the secret night.

Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains:

Farewell; commend me to thy mistress. Hermione Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir. DRACO What say'st thou, my dear Hermione? Hermione Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,

Two may keep counsel, putting one away? DRACO I warrant thee, my man's as true as steel. HERMIONE Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady--Lord,

Lord! when 'twas a little prating thing:--O, there

is a nobleman in town, one Harry Potter, that would fain

lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief

see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her

sometimes and tell her that Harry Potter is the properer

man; but, I'll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. DRACO Commend me to thy lady. Hermione Ay, a thousand times. Exit Draco Hagrid! HAGRID Anon! Hermione Hagrid, take my fan, and go before and apace. Exeunt