A/N: I don't own ne of the harry potter characters and neither do you. I'm
not makin ne money off this fic and look at that, neither are you hehehe.
Yeah yeah, anyway, this one is dedicated to Mediterranean Queen and Severitus too cause they still kick booty and I'm hopin they don't hate me to death at the end of this chappie lol.
Lily sat by herself the next morning, slowly eating some breakfast when the mail came. She ignored it, since she hardly got mail anyway. She glanced over to the Slytherin Table to see that Severus still hadn't come up for breakfast. A small black owl hovered over her head and dropped a letter with a small parcel in front of her. Curious she opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.
______________
Dear Lily,
We're so sorry that we have to be the ones
to tell you this but there isn't much of a
choice. Last night, Josie's brother came
home and found her dead on the floor of her
living room. Her parents were on a buisness
trip and somebody broke into the house and
killed her. They don't know who it is but
as soon as there is any information we'll
let you know. We are so sorry hunny, we
know this must be hard for you. If you need
to talk to us, please send us a letter
Love,
Mom and Dad
______________
Lily stared at the letter, unblinking, her mouth hanging open. A few students at the table noticed her upset look and watched as she silently reread the letter. This had to be a joke. She pushed back the tears and took a deep breath. Tossing the letter down she pulled open the strings on the parcel and picked up it's contents there was no indication of who sent it.
Her mouth dropped and she let out a strangled cry. They were pictures of Josie taken with a wizard camera. One showed her watching TV, the next showed her getting up answering the door. The next showed a man pushing past the door and grabbing her by the throat. She inspected the picture and gasped in surprise. It was Severus! She flipped to the next picture and screamed out as Severus brought a knife down into her friend's chest. She didn't bother looking at anymore.
Lily jumped up, sobbing and ran from the hall as quick as she could, taking the pictures with her. James slid down in his seat and picked up the letter. Reading it over quickly he sighed. Telling his friends he'd be back later, he rose from the table to find Lily.
~~**~~
Severus lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as if it intrigued him. All his other roommates had gone up to breakfast but he didn't feel like it. All he felt was guilt and self-loathing. He had betrayed Lily and she forgave him. But what he did to her friend, she would never forgive him for. On top of that, he had put her life in danger. Voldemort knew about their relationship and that was dangerous for Lily. Even if Lily did forgive him for this, he couldn't let the relationship go any further, there was far too much of a risk involved.
He should have told her that he couldn't see her anymore when she came down to the lake that night but he was too afraid. He owed her an explanation and he didn't give it to her. A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts. Figuring one of his roommates needed to get back in, he opened the door and was immediately greeted by a hard slap in the face. He snapped his head back to see Lily standing at his door.
Looking down into his eyes, Severus' heart wrenched with pain and guilt. Her eyes were red from crying, her face white with shock, her lip trembled and tears were streaming down her face.
"Lily...." he started but he Lily wasn't in the mood to listen. She rushed him, knocking them both over, literally head over heels.
Struggling to his knees, Severus easily caught the fist she swung at him, and quickly grasped the other as she struggled to hit him.
"Don't touch me you fucking bastard." she shrieked, tearing away from him. She reached into her pocket and threw the pictures at him. Confused, Severus started flipping through them and his face went white as well. He looked back up at her, his face set.
"Well?" Lily screamed.
"Lily, you don't understand. Voldemort cast Imperio..."
"THAT'S NO EXCUSE!" she sobbed. "You can easily resist that curse you just didn't WANT to."
"You're right. But Lily....you have to believe me, I never meant to hurt you-"
"The hell you didn't! Severus you murdered my best friend! You didn't think that would hurt me!?" Severus winced at her tone.
"I can't believe this. I trusted you Severus. I stuck up for you when everyone said you were no good. Damn it, I chose you over m friends! I loved you! How could you do this!?"
"Lily, you don't know how horrible I feel about this-" he took a step towards her but she stepped back angrily.
"Don't touch me."
"Lily, please understand, I didn't mean for this to happen."
"Don't give me that shit Severus-"
"Look I said I was sorry and if you are quite through, I'd like you to leave now." Yes Severus, this way you won't hurt her anymore than you have. Put the wall back up. Lily stood shocked as she regarded him.
"You are an insensitive evil bastard." she hissed before letting fly with a hard punch.
Severus watched her storm out of the Slytherin dorms and sighed. He just lost the one person that had ever truly loved him because of some stupid decision Lucius had put him up to. Lily was right he was an evil bastard, that wasn't the half of it.
~~**~~
"Lily.....are you okay?" Lily didn't have to lift her head to know who it was. She knew the voice, it was James. He probably followed her after she ran out of the Astronomy Tower.
"James I can't talk to you right now." she sobbed. She was sitting in the corner of the dark room, her knees curled up to her chest and her head buried in her arms.
"Look, I know about Josie," he said, sliding in next to her and pulling her head into his chest, "I'm really sorry, I know how close you guys were." Lily snorted at the pure irony of it. Her best friend murdered by her lover. She didn't know what she was crying about, the fact her friend was dead, the fact Severus betrayed her, or perhaps both.
"You're going to be late to Transfiguration. Just go." she whispered, barely audible but James heard.
"I don't care if I'm late Lily, it's just one class. It doesn't matter if I go at all."
"Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me Lily, I love you. Now come on, I think you should go to the Hospital Wing." Lily allowed herself to be picked up and ushered down to the Hospital Wing. All the students they passed gave them weird looks, and it wasn't long before the rumors began to spread. Lily, chose to ignore them, staying in the Hospital Wing all day and not going to any of her classes. When she finally returned to her dorm that night she was surprised to find Colie sitting on her bed.
"What are you doing here, get out." she hissed. The owl just looked at her before holding out it's leg. A white envelope was tied to it.
"Fine." Lily untied the envelope and opened the door. "Now get out." The owl hooted angrily before flying out. Lily returned to the bed and tore open the envelope. There were three pictures and a note attached. The first picture was of Severus, looking down at Josie's body in shock, the second was of him standing up to Voldemort, and the third was of Voldemort apparating Severus away. She unfolded the note and saw Severus' neat scrolling handwriting.
__________________
Dearest Lily,
You have no idea how much it hurts me to
know all the pain I've caused you. I realise
it's too late for us now, hell it probably
was too late when this whole thing started.
I can't express how sorry I am about what I
did and all the pain I've caused. I'm going
to leave you alone after this and let you move
on. You deserve so much better than me and it's
my wish that one day you love someone like I loved
you. I want you to know I am going to stay with the
Death Eaters but not in the way you think. I've
spoken to Dumbledore and I told him everything. He
told me there is one way out of this and that is what I
took. I'm going to be a spy, a double agent if you will.
I want to thank you again for showing me I can be more
than what everyone thinks I am. I'll never forget you.
All my love,
S.S.
A/N: yes yes I know sad... you're probably all pissed at me but RELAX lol. I couldn't have Lily and Severus stay together cause that's not how it happens in the books. But the Fic isn't over yet there's more hehe I got a little more up my selve so keep reading and don't flame! *Hides* Thanks for reading everyone please review :O)
Yeah yeah, anyway, this one is dedicated to Mediterranean Queen and Severitus too cause they still kick booty and I'm hopin they don't hate me to death at the end of this chappie lol.
Lily sat by herself the next morning, slowly eating some breakfast when the mail came. She ignored it, since she hardly got mail anyway. She glanced over to the Slytherin Table to see that Severus still hadn't come up for breakfast. A small black owl hovered over her head and dropped a letter with a small parcel in front of her. Curious she opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.
______________
Dear Lily,
We're so sorry that we have to be the ones
to tell you this but there isn't much of a
choice. Last night, Josie's brother came
home and found her dead on the floor of her
living room. Her parents were on a buisness
trip and somebody broke into the house and
killed her. They don't know who it is but
as soon as there is any information we'll
let you know. We are so sorry hunny, we
know this must be hard for you. If you need
to talk to us, please send us a letter
Love,
Mom and Dad
______________
Lily stared at the letter, unblinking, her mouth hanging open. A few students at the table noticed her upset look and watched as she silently reread the letter. This had to be a joke. She pushed back the tears and took a deep breath. Tossing the letter down she pulled open the strings on the parcel and picked up it's contents there was no indication of who sent it.
Her mouth dropped and she let out a strangled cry. They were pictures of Josie taken with a wizard camera. One showed her watching TV, the next showed her getting up answering the door. The next showed a man pushing past the door and grabbing her by the throat. She inspected the picture and gasped in surprise. It was Severus! She flipped to the next picture and screamed out as Severus brought a knife down into her friend's chest. She didn't bother looking at anymore.
Lily jumped up, sobbing and ran from the hall as quick as she could, taking the pictures with her. James slid down in his seat and picked up the letter. Reading it over quickly he sighed. Telling his friends he'd be back later, he rose from the table to find Lily.
~~**~~
Severus lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as if it intrigued him. All his other roommates had gone up to breakfast but he didn't feel like it. All he felt was guilt and self-loathing. He had betrayed Lily and she forgave him. But what he did to her friend, she would never forgive him for. On top of that, he had put her life in danger. Voldemort knew about their relationship and that was dangerous for Lily. Even if Lily did forgive him for this, he couldn't let the relationship go any further, there was far too much of a risk involved.
He should have told her that he couldn't see her anymore when she came down to the lake that night but he was too afraid. He owed her an explanation and he didn't give it to her. A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts. Figuring one of his roommates needed to get back in, he opened the door and was immediately greeted by a hard slap in the face. He snapped his head back to see Lily standing at his door.
Looking down into his eyes, Severus' heart wrenched with pain and guilt. Her eyes were red from crying, her face white with shock, her lip trembled and tears were streaming down her face.
"Lily...." he started but he Lily wasn't in the mood to listen. She rushed him, knocking them both over, literally head over heels.
Struggling to his knees, Severus easily caught the fist she swung at him, and quickly grasped the other as she struggled to hit him.
"Don't touch me you fucking bastard." she shrieked, tearing away from him. She reached into her pocket and threw the pictures at him. Confused, Severus started flipping through them and his face went white as well. He looked back up at her, his face set.
"Well?" Lily screamed.
"Lily, you don't understand. Voldemort cast Imperio..."
"THAT'S NO EXCUSE!" she sobbed. "You can easily resist that curse you just didn't WANT to."
"You're right. But Lily....you have to believe me, I never meant to hurt you-"
"The hell you didn't! Severus you murdered my best friend! You didn't think that would hurt me!?" Severus winced at her tone.
"I can't believe this. I trusted you Severus. I stuck up for you when everyone said you were no good. Damn it, I chose you over m friends! I loved you! How could you do this!?"
"Lily, you don't know how horrible I feel about this-" he took a step towards her but she stepped back angrily.
"Don't touch me."
"Lily, please understand, I didn't mean for this to happen."
"Don't give me that shit Severus-"
"Look I said I was sorry and if you are quite through, I'd like you to leave now." Yes Severus, this way you won't hurt her anymore than you have. Put the wall back up. Lily stood shocked as she regarded him.
"You are an insensitive evil bastard." she hissed before letting fly with a hard punch.
Severus watched her storm out of the Slytherin dorms and sighed. He just lost the one person that had ever truly loved him because of some stupid decision Lucius had put him up to. Lily was right he was an evil bastard, that wasn't the half of it.
~~**~~
"Lily.....are you okay?" Lily didn't have to lift her head to know who it was. She knew the voice, it was James. He probably followed her after she ran out of the Astronomy Tower.
"James I can't talk to you right now." she sobbed. She was sitting in the corner of the dark room, her knees curled up to her chest and her head buried in her arms.
"Look, I know about Josie," he said, sliding in next to her and pulling her head into his chest, "I'm really sorry, I know how close you guys were." Lily snorted at the pure irony of it. Her best friend murdered by her lover. She didn't know what she was crying about, the fact her friend was dead, the fact Severus betrayed her, or perhaps both.
"You're going to be late to Transfiguration. Just go." she whispered, barely audible but James heard.
"I don't care if I'm late Lily, it's just one class. It doesn't matter if I go at all."
"Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me Lily, I love you. Now come on, I think you should go to the Hospital Wing." Lily allowed herself to be picked up and ushered down to the Hospital Wing. All the students they passed gave them weird looks, and it wasn't long before the rumors began to spread. Lily, chose to ignore them, staying in the Hospital Wing all day and not going to any of her classes. When she finally returned to her dorm that night she was surprised to find Colie sitting on her bed.
"What are you doing here, get out." she hissed. The owl just looked at her before holding out it's leg. A white envelope was tied to it.
"Fine." Lily untied the envelope and opened the door. "Now get out." The owl hooted angrily before flying out. Lily returned to the bed and tore open the envelope. There were three pictures and a note attached. The first picture was of Severus, looking down at Josie's body in shock, the second was of him standing up to Voldemort, and the third was of Voldemort apparating Severus away. She unfolded the note and saw Severus' neat scrolling handwriting.
__________________
Dearest Lily,
You have no idea how much it hurts me to
know all the pain I've caused you. I realise
it's too late for us now, hell it probably
was too late when this whole thing started.
I can't express how sorry I am about what I
did and all the pain I've caused. I'm going
to leave you alone after this and let you move
on. You deserve so much better than me and it's
my wish that one day you love someone like I loved
you. I want you to know I am going to stay with the
Death Eaters but not in the way you think. I've
spoken to Dumbledore and I told him everything. He
told me there is one way out of this and that is what I
took. I'm going to be a spy, a double agent if you will.
I want to thank you again for showing me I can be more
than what everyone thinks I am. I'll never forget you.
All my love,
S.S.
A/N: yes yes I know sad... you're probably all pissed at me but RELAX lol. I couldn't have Lily and Severus stay together cause that's not how it happens in the books. But the Fic isn't over yet there's more hehe I got a little more up my selve so keep reading and don't flame! *Hides* Thanks for reading everyone please review :O)