Chapter 9

I knew I was grinning like a fool but I didn't care. I was sooooo happy. I remember how inviting his mouth was, how he responded to my kiss and pushed back with his tongue. How he cling to me. He looked dazed with his arms still around me.

I cupped his face, "Kaede, I…"

His eyes weren't focused on me but behind me. I turned and spotted the bushes move, "Was someone watching us?"

He blinked and the look on his face changed. His eyes hardened and his features became one of determination. He brushed away my hands and backed away, then in a sub-zero voice said, "Yes. Hanamichi was watching. And I thought I told you to never call me Kaede."

I felt my smile firmly glued in place, "Ooops, I forgot?"

"Well, don't ever forget again."

I touch the sheet of paper in my pocket, "You knew Sakuragi was there?"

"Yes. Why else would I kiss you?"

"What does Sakuragi being there have to do with you kissing me?" I asked straining to prevent any anger from showing.

"Because I need him to believe I like someone. If he knows I don't like Haruko, he will be my friend."

I crumpled the sheet of paper in my fist. It felt like he stabbed me in the heart, poured salt on it, coated it in honey and set a colony of fire ants on it. I wanted to cry but found myself laughing hysterically instead, "You kissed me to befriend him?"

He looked at me oddly, "Yes."

"And here I was thinking you like me," I said still laughing.

Kaede looked insulted, "Don't be foolish. Why would I like you?"

"Yes. Why would you like me?" I said, it felt like he just stomped on my heart, butchering any hope I had left 'just because I love you doesn't mean anything. All you ever see or notice is Sakuragi!'

That moment I truly hated Sakuragi, to the extent that it scared me. I never thought I was capable of such hatred. I knew it wasn't Sakuragi's fault, he didn't do anything. Maybe that's why I loathe him so much. I did everything I can to please Kaede but he doesn't care. Sakuragi did nothing but call him kitsune and treat him badly and Kaede loves him.

"Right," Kaede confirmed, "I. Don't. Like. You. That kiss meant absolutely nothing to me."

'That kiss meant the world to me,' I thought sorrowfully.

I think at that moment I know what it felt like to be heartbroken, genuinely heartbroken. I felt so numb, I couldn't even feel the hate anymore. I felt empty.

"I'm leaving," he declared getting onto his bike.

"Bye Rukawa," I said listlessly.

It was odd the thought that went through my mind that moment. Not what you would expect. I was thinking about how ironically wonderful the weather was, in no way did it reflect my inner misery.

I unclench my fist, 'Maybe I should give up. I can't stand much of this anymore. To have hope and happiness only to have it torn away.'

End of Chapter 9