Jerrica's Diary
December 16
I'm excited for Christmas already! I've planned the perfect date for Rio and me. I bought a really cute evening dress from Regine's line that even Jem would be jealous of! I want to take him to a big, expensive restaurant…either Italian or a steakhouse, I'm not sure yet. I better make up my mind and make reservations if we want in on the 23rd. On the other hand, Jem could always make last-second arrangements for her dear friends…
Wait a minute. This is for me and Rio! Not for Jem! In fact, I've had it up to here with Jem taking up all my time with Rio! I wouldn't mind so much if he knew that it was me he's always spending time with! But it's Jem! I'm sick of Jem!!!
But, I don't know what to do! Do I just break it off with Rio as Jem, and get her out of his life? Or, do I finally tell him the truth? At least then I could sing with him again. But do I tell him the whole truth, Synergy and all? I might as well. I've kept enough from him already, and he does have a right to know!
Will he be angry if I tell him? How angry? Will he ever forgive me for keeping such a big part of my life a secret from him? Not to mention all Jem's little dates here and there, and Riot. Will he understand why I kept it from him? I don't even understand why I kept Jem a secret from him, especially for eight years!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! Do I keep going as normal, Jerrica and Jem, and buy him a gift from her as well? When should I tell him? Agh! This has gotten so out of hand!
If it weren't for Jem, Rio and I might even be married by now! We certainly would be lovers. But I can't share that kind of intimacy with him when I hide the truth about the rest of my life, as Jem. "It's time to put an end to this deception!" But how do I do it?