A/N: I know this one is *really* short…but she's that kind of lady! :) Thank you all who have responded—ffFreakNJ, Selke, Jem Fan, and zorra…I need feedback if I'm gonna keep posting, so thank you. It keeps me goin', thinking that ppl care ;) I hope you like this chapter…I know this story is slow (like my other) but I hope y'all can see why. Anyways, I'll stop jabbering and let you read the story!
Phyllis Gabor - My Diary
December 18
I'm getting sick of it.
I'm edging on thirty. It's time to stop acting like a kid!
But I'm afraid.
Of what, I'm not sure. Maybe losing my friends, my reputation, my life as I know it? Not that all of it would be that much of a loss. I love my Misfits—Roxy, Stormer, Jetta. We'll always be friends, unless they want to be teenagers their entire lives. It's time to settle down. I'm sick of fleeting from one guy to the next, using my fame to snare them, and then letting them go when I'm done. I want commitment. I don't want to end up 45 years old, alone, having done nothing with my life except screw around and mess up everyone else for attention.
I wish Mom was still around…it'd be nice to have someone to talk to who's already done the marriage-and-family bit. But we weren't good enough for her. She'd rather screw around and mess up everyone else. I never realized until now that I'm doing what she did! It might be in a different way, but I don't want anyone else to end up like I did. I guess—I guess I'm…not a Misfit anymore. Do we need to be "Misfits" forever? Can we become, like…sensitive?! Hell, I will never be like that bitch, Jem. "Sensitive." What a crock. She's so fake!
God. Why would I say that? She's never really been anything but nice to me! She's actually…kind of…well, real. She really does care, doesn't she? Am I really the bitch? For real? Not just playing around, being a Misfit? If that's true, then… I…I wanna change. Can I? Have I?