Disclaimer: Success! I've finally made a decent attempt to get Terra back into character…whatever that might be is beyond me. However, Kelos, being my creation, will have a random characterization. Sometimes he'll blab on and on, other times he'll be extremely quiet. Most times, however, he won't be on the battle screen. Go figure. An all powerful mind reading wandering traveler whom is the only resident on an island not yet named who doesn't go onto the fight screen until Terra allows him to. I mean, come on…
Last time, on Dragon Ball Z, Vegeta and Goku kill Majin Buu's mind. While they are doing this, however, Terra Branford of Final Fantasy 3/6 has gained a new companion and ditched the rest of them. But trouble brews in the depths of the unknown island…a trouble called WOOD CHUCK!!! Will the heros of the final fantasy world be able to survive this new terror? Find out on Dra--Terra's Journey!
Kelos: (Stare in sky) What the hell was that?!
Terra: (innocently) Narrator's catching the people watching up on the quest.
Kelos: Ah…('Maybe I shouldn't have skipped the narrator lines in the script') Perhaps I should tell you what I call this island then. (Clear throat.) This is the Neutral Island of Norse Name's Yoyo.
Terra: Ninny?
Kelos: Exactly.
Terra: Um…the island's name is Ninny?
Kelos: Neutral Island of Norse Name's Yoyo. It's written in texts deep within the caverns.
Terra: I've been meaning to ask; You said Ancients live here, and you also say you're the only resident. How is that so?
Kelos: I…Look, a racoon!
Terra: Huh?!
Kelos: (Scamper to a fixed background) Hurry, stand here!
Terra: Ok. Let me see how strong he is.
Kelos: Should I help?
Terra: Yeah, go ahead.
Kelos: Alright! (rolls a set of dice) One-die-four…for…one-die-twenty damage…
Terra: (raises an eyebrow) Um?
Kelos: Got it! I attack the racoon 3 times for 14 damage each, or once for 42 damage.
Terra: (shakes head) I'd better handle the attacking for a while…until you come up with better results.
Kelos: (enthusiastic 'whew, got out of that one') (feigning sadness) I'm sorry I can't support much from my end…
Terra: No worry. (Strike, 9999 damage dealt, victory pose and music come on, experience shows for Terra)
Kelos: Alright…how much experience do I get out of this…one-die-six…5 exp! I'll level in no time now!
Terra: …hm. I got somewhere around 154 exp for that one. Are your dice broken?
Kelos: Broken? These things? I've got all 8 kinds of dice! Why do you question my methods?!
Terra: Why don't you just share the same exp that I got?
Kelos: (Estatic 'Leeching can be so fun…') (hesitantly) if you wish…(experience shows for Kelos.)
*Kelos has gained a level!* *Kelos has gained a level* *Kelos has gained a level* *Kelos is cheating and can actually strike harder than he pretended to*
Kelos: ('daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu annouuuuuuuuuuuuuuncemennnnntsssssssss') Well, I guess I don't know my own strength. (he puts dice away and starts using fists.)
Terra: …(Looks forlorn) I guess I'm being a slave again…
Kelos: No, no no no no no no no no! I'm sorry, didn't mean to leech or make you do all the work. From now on, I'll do all the fighting.
Terra: (still forlorn) now I'm being told what to do. What more can I be?
Kelos: …How about you do what you wish to do?
Terra: (Forlorn even yet) now? Now I'm free to do my bidding…what shall I do?
Kelos: (mutter) I hate when girls do this…
Terra: ('wow, Celes was right. It works.') How about we continue?
Kelos: I'm up for that. From here, we enter the Cave of Ravenous American Pirates.
Terra: Crap.
Kelos: Yes, it is difficult from here.
Terra: Ok. Where's the entrance?
Kelos: Um…Behind that boss battle.
Terra: Boss battle?
Kelos: Yeah. We get to fight Wood Chuck in this chapter.
Wood Chuck: (Out of nowhere) I am the evil WOOD CHUCK!! I am here to chuck all the wood you provide!
Terra: I've seen a treasure chest somewhere before with the same method…
Wood Chuck: Treasure Chest?! Poppycock! The only chest that will be treasured is the wooden kind!
Kelos: Hey, I remember something like this too…just before you landed in the strange plastic flying device--
Terra: Setzer's girlfriend made it.
Kelos: -- I found a coffin full of wood!
Wood Chuck: Wood? In a coffin? Why would there be wood in a coffin?
Dr. Van Helsing: (enters the room) I put ze wood zere. Here is a load for ze Beaver. (drops wood, leaves through the thickets)
Wood Chuck: THAT'S WOOD CHUCK!! And, THANK YOU!!!!!!! (To the party of 2) Alright, you may pass…and here's your experience for this battle…
Kelos: Um…we don't need experience. Terra's at level 99, and I've been cheating, so this will be my punishment.
Wood Chuck: (shrug) Okay, but you're missing out…
Kelos: Can you just get straight to the items received screen?
Wood Chuck: Okay. (Drops a sponge, vanishes)
Kelos: ……………………….how profound.
Terra: (forlorn) Sponge? I now have to clean…
Wood Chuck: (reappears) and for you, miss, I give an economizer, gem box, two earrings, a hero ring, infinite fenix downs, and the ability to use more than just two accessories and complete equipment. You can now use all 8 fingers, 2 thumbs, 3 necklaces, leg armor, arm armor, wrist armor, hazard masks, make-up, and a complimentary watch.
Terra: (forlorn) Now I'm being womanized…
Wood Chuck: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(explodes)
Kelos: (Nods at Terra) You may lead the way.
Terra: (Looks up at the sky) Narrator…the wood chuck ate a full tree, and you ran out of room for this fanfic episode.
(Sky rumbles): Damn…not again.
Next time, on Terra's Quest,Terra continues her quest! Can Kelos take much more of the unbelievable cuteness? Am I just making her look like that because I like her most? Is there another weird named location later in this fic?
Heh…of course.