A/N ~ Sorry it's taken SO freakin' long for me to post…if you read D & J, you know I'm moving and just got a job. But besides that, at my parent's house the phone's been disconnected, and at my grandparent's (where I'm moving :D), their MS Word doesn't work, so I have to save as HTML here at Mom's, and shuttle them over the Grandma's when I am moving another load. Jeez Louise! Anyways, I'll shut up now b/c I know it's been a while for the story :) Enjoy and t/y for reading! Review & let me know what you think, whether you wanna give me some advice, say "good job," or say "good God, woman, stop writing PLEASE!" LoL well, here ya go ;)
Jerrica's Diary
December 19
I did it!
I finally made dinner reservations for Rio and myself at Giovanni's. I know Gio's son, Frankie, from high school, so they let me have a reservation on the 22nd at 7:00 pm, because somebody cancelled on them. I'm excited—Giovanni's is Rio's favorite restaurant! I'm so happy we'll get some couple time.
I've made another decision as well.
I'm telling Rio about Jem. But I have to discuss it with the other Holograms first, because I want to tell him everything. I'm going to tell him all about what Daddy left us, including Synergy. I'm going to tell him why Jem came on the scene in the first place. I won't tell him about my being Jem until I've explained everything else. Then I'll at least get a chance to explain. I don't want him to be hurt. I want him to know why, at first, Jem's identity was secret. He needs to know that because he didn't know about her in the first place, I've been afraid to tell him the truth because of his anger, because I didn't want to hurt him.
But what about the romance that Jem instigated with Rio? I can only explain that by acknowledging that I am Jem, and I love Rio. At first, I would almost forget who I was, because I was so used to being with Rio in a romantic sense. Guess I'm not that much of an actress when it comes to my personal life. And Riot? Well, he started it up with Jem, not the other way around! It's funny, he has this charming personality that he puts on full blast around Jem, which attracts her (or, rather, me), but he totally turns it off when I am Jerrica, which I guess explains why he is so not attractive to me personally, as myself.
Good grief! I'm confused with this whole Jem thing! How can I explain it to someone else when I am just as confused as anybody else is? Maybe the Holograms will help me explain to Rio. I need help, on my own. I feel like I can't even be as close to Rio as I was before Jem if I'm not completely honest with him. And I know that's what he wants—honesty. I hope he'll forgive all this deception I've put him through, and look at the "why" rather than the "who, what, when." I love Rio so much…I don't want to lose him!