The Beast There Is At What He Does

Creed thought he had never been so utterly humiliated in all his long life, it was one thing to be defeated by the runt in one of their usual bloodthirsty brawls but quite another to be so thoroughly subdued with such sardonic gentleness by the Beast. Of course he had to admit that Beast was stronger and even more agile than he was with claws and fangs nearly as sharp as his own. This was Henry McCoy, the lovable bouncing blue one though, not the Dark Beast. Creed could only conclude that he had just been so completely taken aback with shock that he had been unable to put up any sort of defense at all. Now he had just been given one of the most humiliating defeats of all time without a single drop of blood being spilt.

He'd been only able to lie groaning by the time Hank finished using him as a trampoline. Then the Beast had given him a wolfish grin and the glint in his eyes seemed almost feral. He'd given Creed one chance to surrender or the gloves would come off, of course he wasn't going to beg for mercy from that fur-ball and he'd simply growled. Now he wished he had begged for mercy, he would be doing so right at the very moment if he wasn't so overcome with helpless laughter. Hank had put his considerable intellect to work at devising some imaginative and quite devious punishment for him. First he'd been subjected to Hank howling like a wolf into his ears, he'd struggled but couldn't break free of the arm lock. He'd been used literally as a basketball especially painful when Hank went for a slam dunk three times in a row, he'd been drenched from being dunked into the swimming pool and worst of all had been Hank wondering exactly how many hairs there were in his sideburns by plucking them out one at a time. Now Hank was 'investigating the sensitivity of touch in feral skin' by tickling the soles of his feet.

"Are you ready to yield, capitulate, submit or even plain surrender Creed or shall I go on to your ribs next?"

"Please, haahaa, yer killin me, hohohoho, I heeheeehee, give, mercy, ahahahahahahaha!"

"Alright then I'll spare you but I suggest you leave immediately or I'll tell Logan about your little weakness," sneered Hank bounding away soon lost from sight among the trees. Creed shoved his boots and socks back on and growled angrily, he was going to make the X-Men pay somehow.

Bobby was presently not a very happy man at all especially given his current predicament. He didn't know where Logan had managed to dig that Genoshan slave collar from but he had been forced into putting it on at claw point. Then with his powers safely neutralized had there really been any need for Logan to tie him up and leave him like that. Maybe he shouldn't have grinned quite so broadly when he'd promised on his word of honor not to get up to any more mischief. It was perhaps an even worse mistake to have then slowly withdrawn a spare can of red hair dye from his pocket. Still you couldn't keep an Iceman confined for long and sooner or later he would escape.

"Just as soon as I manage to slip out of these knots and get this darn collar off, I'm really going to show you what the Iceman can do," grunted Bobby, sweat trickling down his brow as he strained to get free.

Logan was just intending to let off steam in the Danger Room when he found the door wouldn't open to his voice commands. He could just hear faint cries of help coming from within and he would recognize that voice from anywhere. Storm was locked in the Danger Room and it sounded as though she was absolutely terrified. Logan growled and unsheathed his claws; he was going to rescue her from her predicament. Ten to one as well that Bobby was behind this.

"Don't ya worry darlin, I'm coming ta save ya," called Logan slashing through the door with his adamantium claws.

His shaggy brows raised in amazement at the scene that met his eyes. The entire Danger Room was now a vast television studio instantly recognizable as the one belonging to Mojo. Miniature versions of the X-Men, the infamous X-Babies were surrounding a garish pink coffin from which muffled cries for help were emanating. Logan didn't hesitate for a moment but charged straight in, slashing left and right with his claws at the holographic munchkins. The few surviving X-Babies fled in terror from the claws as Logan then smashed open the coffin lid. He tenderly lifted out the near catatonic Storm and set her gently on her feet. Then he gave her a gentle affectionate hug.

"Yer safe now darlin, I won't anything else happen ta ya,"

"By the Goddess I can never thank you enough. When I get my hands on Bobby Drake….."

Then she turned to Logan flung her arms around him and stooping slightly kissed him on his stubbly cheek, reward enough to the feral for saving her.

Hank had finished sharpening his claws on Jean's bedroom wall, gouging deep into the wall and leaving long ugly scratches on the plaster. He tested their sharpness by seeing how easily he could slash through her clothes including her favorite nightgown and the expensive dress Scott had bought for her birthday. He'd already wrecked her bed from bouncing on it and was just about to pull the curtains down when Jean suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"Are you freaking kidding me? Hank I'm going to have your hide for this!" she screamed turning red in the face.

"Keep your hair on Jeannie, stars and garters I forgot that it's a wig," chuckled Hank.

Jean's lip quivered as though she couldn't quite bring herself to speak, she went completely crimson before turning deathly pale and slumping to the floor in a dead faint. Thinking quickly Hank shoved her into the wardrobe barring the door with a broken chair leg. She was probably not going to be too happy with him at the moment.

"Well Hank my boy what shall we do next. Oh yes beer, that's a good idea,"

Sabretooth eyed Jubilee warily, she seemed to think that she was Apocalypse and she had just offered to make him her horseman Death. Then she'd handed him a Twinkie telling him it would give him more power than he could ever dream of before rushing off. Sabretooth thoughtfully scratched the stubble on his chin and wondered just what the hell was going on with the X-Men. He popped the Twinkie into his mouth and chewed and then suddenly he felt different. Sabretooth gave a goofy grin eyes lighting up with joy and then he was rolling about on the grass purring contentedly. Sabretooth had just become a big kitty cat.

"Well thank you Hank for untying me. You do know that you're the best friend I've ever had. You're not mad at me are you, hey like that is so gross," protested Bobby as Hank gave him a lick.

"Sorry got to restrain my animal urges. Come friend let us embark upon a prank war of quite prodigious proportions."

"Now you're talking fuzz-ball," chuckled Bobby rubbing his hands together in glee.

Hank put his arm around the younger man's shoulders and then knelt telling Bobby to hop on for a piggyback ride. Bounding along at an incredible rate Hank was on the look out for the first likely victim. Seeing Remy and Rogue up ahead his furry face twisted into a mischievous grin. Yes they would be just perfect to test out his new serum.

Behind his visor Scott's eyes were wide in fear. Jubilee's face was now dusty white with the help of an alarming amount of talcum powder; her red shades were pulled down over her eyes, hair slicked back with gel and her usual yellow jacket swapped for a purple one. Apparently she had got bored with being Apocalypse and had moved onto someone new.

"Jubilee I know you're not quite yourself but if you'll just sit down quietly we'll have a little talk and get you some tranquilizers. I think you just need a little lie down and you'll be fine."

"As always Scott Summers your pathetic attempts at deception can never fool the likes of Sinister. No, you will be the subject of my latest experiment, to find if you really are as stupid as you look," boomed Jubilee.

Elsewhere in the dimension known as the Mojoverse, the obese yellow monstrosity known as Mojo was rubbing his pudgy hands with glee and blowing air kisses in his delight. The X-Men were always his biggest stars and this latest comedy act would do wonders for the appreciation figures. Now he just needed to get down there with a camera crew to get started on filming. Calling for Spiral he wondered how high a fee Hank would demand to work for him. Then he slapped his forehead, he'd almost forgot about the X-Babies, they would be all that he needed to make it perfect.

"Hank baby, you'll go far," purred Mojo kissing a photograph of the furry blue genius.