Invasion Of The X-Babies
"When I get my hands on y'all sugahs yah gonna wish yah never been born!" screamed Rogue, hair now a lovely shade of purple while Remy now had hair as blue as Hank's. Hank's special serum to promote random alteration of pigmentation in hair was a complete success. Now the two miscreants were making a swift getaway as an entire deck of charged cards was thrown after them. Hank had dropped to all fours bounding along at top speed while Bobby relied on his trusty ice slide. Rogue could only watch in thwarted rage as they disappeared round a corner.
"Tarnation, looks like those varmints made a clean getaway sugah," she sighed.
"Merde, Remy feel dat he in bad need of a drink now chere," mumbled Remy.
"Yah go and do that sugah, ah'm gonna go find mahself some hair dye," replied Rogue giving Remy a gentle hug.
Remy received a nasty surprise when he entered the kitchen and found Victor Creed waiting for him. He was even more surprised to see that for once the feral mutant didn't seem about to attack. In fact he looked very pleased to meet him, smiling all over his hairy face and almost quivering with excitement. This was partly due to Sabretooth finding a catnip bush which had caused the effects of the Twinkie to be even more potent.
"Sacre Bleu, dis is not good at all, time to take out de kitty cat, oui mon ami?" said Remy.
"Meow, meow, want milk, want fish too, purr, purr," said Creed rubbing his sideburns against Remy's cheek.
"Merde," whispered Remy.
In the Danger Room, Logan was feeling a very happy feral indeed. Storm, the beautiful, noble, wise, compassionate and regal X-Woman was very grateful to him for rescuing her. They were floating a couple of feet of the ground, borne aloft by one of her winds, the gentle breeze ruffling her long white hair and his shaggy sable hair and muttonchops. She had her arms around him in the most tender of embraces and he was holding tightly to her as well, this wasn't just so that he wouldn't fall either. She kissed him gently on the lips and he kissed her back.
"Ororo darlin, I just want ya ta know that yer beautiful."
"Logan despite your rough looks you are a true gentleman and beautiful too in your own feral way. Let me reward you again for rescuing me,"
They kissed once more and then they were gazing deep into each others eyes seeing the love they felt for each other. A beautiful tender moment which meant it was a shame that it was so rudely interrupted.
"Oh enough with the slushy romance already please; you know that's not what our viewers want to see. I'll tell you what they want, gratuitous violence and lots of gore. So enough with the kissing and let's see some action alright," boomed Mojo.
Blue eyes and hazel eyes glared at him murderously and then Ororo set Logan gently down on the floor. The two exchanged glances and then nodded to each other.
"We might as well give the 'gentleman' what he wants Logan," said Ororo before blasting Mojo with a lightning bolt.
"Hey no need to do this, look I'll do you a very generous contract and an 8 % franchise share," yammered the obese entity.
Logan simply snarled then leapt with claws extended and performed some very gratuitous violence on Mojo which resulted in lots of gore sufficient to please the most bloodthirsty of viewers. Ororo looked away and waited until Logan had calmed down.
"Now where were we darlin, before we were interrupted?"
"I was going to give you another kiss."
This they did ignoring the moaning Mojo behind them.
Bobby meanwhile had finally met his match in the form of some arriving X-Babies and was once again running for his life hotly pursued by X-Baby versions of Wolverine, Sabretooth, Cable, Bishop, Gambit, Rogue, Storm and Mystique. He was also now covered in green paint from an unfortunate encounter with the X-Baby versions of himself, Jubilee and Beast but that hadn't been the worse part. No that had been being cornered by an X-Baby Cyclops who told him that he needed to grow up a little bit. After that he had sort of lost his temper and yelled about giving the whole lot of them some fierce punishment thus riling the most dangerous and savage of all the X-Babies who were now pursuing him.
"Help, Hank, Logan, Rogue, Remy, anyone come and save me!" yelled Bobby frantically trying to dislodge the Snaggletooth clinging to the seat of his pants by its teeth.
"Now should I go and save the poor sap or shall I finish my beer first? Yeah I'll finish my beer," muttered Hank to himself as Bobby rushed past. He scratched his chin thoughtfully then shrugged, why interfere and spoil all the fun that Bobby was having.
Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately for Bobby he then ran into Sabretooth.
"Help someone let me out of this wardrobe. Oh thank you Scott, look at what that furry blue freak did to my bedroom, the bed, and my clothes. Oh Scott it's just been so awful," began Jean as soon as he blasted open the wardrobe door with an optic blast.
Then she stopped as she noticed the complete absence of sympathetic platitudes from Scott, who still hadn't expressed any grief for her hair. A quick scan of his mind showed that he had worried thoughts but they weren't for her. How could he be so selfish and unreasonable and not be completely devastated by her misfortune? Men could be such pigs at times.
"Honey bunny, we've got a problem," said Scott pointing to the door.
Jean gaped in astonishment at the weird and wonderful sight before her eyes as Jubilee/Sinister smiled malevolently at her.
"Now I have both of you and I shall use you to breed a race of super-mutants! Now you shall all bow before the might of Sinister!"
Then she suddenly stopped shook her head and tore of the glasses, wiped the talc of her face using a corner of Jean's sheet and rushed off. She returned a couple of minutes later having applied liberal amounts of talc to her hair, wearing all red clothes, a red sheet for a cape and a bucket on her head.
"I am Magneto Master of Magnetism, the most powerful mutant on Earth," she yelled triumphantly.
"Certainly the most annoying," whispered Jean to Scott.
"No dear that privilege goes to you," whispered back Scott.
"Help someone help, please I'm sorry for being such a jerk and I'll never play another prank again, well not for a day or two at least. Sabretooth please let me go, I can't breathe. Help me, Hank where are you, save me," yelled Bobby at the top of his lungs, voice now nothing more than a hoarse croak.
"Meow, Bobby kitty cats friend. Kitty like Bobby, purr, purr," rumbled Sabretooth hugging his 'friend' even more tightly. Meanwhile the X-Babies looked on quite unable to know what to make of this situation.
"Just you come back here with Betsy you little munchkin jerks," snarled Bishop chasing after Creepy Crawler, Wolvie and Misty Q who had stolen his gun. Giggling the three miniature menaces rushed off which Bishop in hot pursuit.
"What in tarnation am ah going tah do with yah, yah lovable little rascal," called Rogue half angry/half flattered when she had found the Remy X-Baby trying to peer in at her while she was in the shower.
Were there no X-Men around to save poor Bobby's hide. Wait there in the distance the familiar battle cry of "stars and garters" as a blue furry form half werewolf/half gorilla, the ever loving bouncy blue Beast, that fuzzy blue superstar Hank came rushing to the rescue.
X-Babies scattered in panic as Hank first howled like a wolf and then gave a ferocious growl that would have been worthy of Wolverine. Sabretooth turned to greet his new friend as Hank crouched and then sprang straight at him. Three hundred and fifty pounds of muscle and blue fur slammed into his chest knocking him flying to slam his head against the wall. Creed slumped to the ground in a heap.
"Ouch," growled Sabretooth and then he closed his eyes and decided to take a short sleep. Fortunately he wasn't seriously hurt.
"Don't worry Bobby you're safe now," said Hank offering Bobby a massive hand so he could rise to his feet.
Bobby flung his arms around Hank hugging him tight, burying his face in the furry shoulder sobbing quietly. Hank gently put his arms around Bobby holding him gently soothing him and letting him feel the comfort of the warm embrace. Though he may have been giving in to feral tendencies at the moment he was still the same gentle, compassionate man at heart. Once again he was there for Bobby to be the loving indulgent older brother to Bobby's mischievous younger brother.
"It's alright Bobby I'm always here for you if you need me."
"Thanks Hank you're a great pal,"
Hank began to purr contentedly himself as Bobby began very gently to stroke the soft, warm blue fur. Hank's blue eyes flicked shut and he gently leaned his head against Bobby's shoulders, shifting position slightly so that Bobby could scratch him behind the ears.
"Well Remy glad dat those two are quiet now. Perhaps now dere will be no more trouble. Merde!" gulped Remy who had finally come out from his hiding place in the kitchen. He suddenly found his ankle grabbed by a just waking Creed.