No Mercy for McCoy
Bishop was looking rather embarrassed as he stood amongst the ruins of Jean Grey's bedroom, splinters of wood all around him. Admittedly it had been quite thoroughly demolished by Beast's earlier antics but he really should have known better than to use such a high powered handgun when he could have easily freed Scott using brute strength alone. Still he just loved guns and loud noisy explosions so he guessed the temptation had just proved too much. Still apart from cuts and bruises Scott seemed fine although he was standing very still and trembling slightly, his costume was pretty torn up so maybe that was why he seemed a little upset.
"Hey Cyclops are you alright?" asked Bishop.
A wide smile spread across Scott's face and he suddenly burst into manic laughter before charging out of the room.
"I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle and here is my spout. When the water's boiling hear me shout, tip me up and pour me out! Yes I'm a teapot, a teapot not a weasel or a goat or even a candle, I don't mean to gloat. Yes I'm a teapot, a pretty blue and pink one, I am teapot and now I must be gone," echoed Scott's voice in an eerie monotone.
"I guess the pressure just proved too much for him in the end," muttered Bishop with a sigh and a shrug. A tap on his shoulder sent him whirling round to come face to face with a very angry and still bald Jean whose wig was slightly askew.
"Oh hi Jean, listen I came right in here and well it was just like this. Darn, you can just read my thoughts and you know I'm lying, guess I'm really in for it now aren't I," Bishops voice rose to a squeak at the end of the sentence.
"You want to know why they call me the Phoenix. It's because of my fiery temper and you're about to be on the receiving end!" screeched Jean as Bishop cowered before her.
Dark Beast had made the wise choice of first suggesting a visit to the kitchen since he believed Logan would be a lot more amenable to his wishes once he'd had a beer or two. Besides he could murder some Twinkies of the conventional variety. Logan's eyes lit up at the mention of beer and he set off at such a pace that McCoy was forced to lope along on all fours to keep up. Once in the kitchen Logan frowned at seeing the scattered food and general devastation. Sniffing the air he caught that all too familiar scent and a glance under the table showed Creed curled up fast asleep. Logan poked Creed in the ribs with his toe and the feral grunted a little but didn't wake up. Well seeing that Creed was like an overgrown kitty cat at the moment he wasn't likely to be much of a danger and Logan decided to just leave him alone. He grinned deciding not to mention Sabretooth's presence to McCoy, letting the furry gray mutant find out for himself seemed like the best course of action.
"Well stars and garters, this kitchen looks in quite a state, don't tell me Jubilee needed a sugar rush again," enquired McCoy, shaggy brow rising quizzically.
"Yeah, something like that bub," growled Logan taking a refreshing sip of beer. It came in handy having three built in tin openers on each hand. Catching his reflection in the shiny metal blades he frowned, sideburns still weren't just so but it would be the work of moments to get them right. Those adamantium claws made handy razors as well.
McCoy went over to the fridge selected most of the food that hadn't already been consumed by Sabretooth for a light snack and headed over to the table to eat his meal. Unfortunately for Dark Beast Creed chose that moment to awaken, looking up he saw McCoy, purred loudly and then sprang before the astonished mutant could react. McCoy yelped as he was engulfed in a crushing hug, ribs creaking and there was a loud crunch as his shoulder was painfully dislocated. Then Creed was purring deafeningly as he rubbed his head against the furry face and pausing only to spit out a mouthful of gray fur while McCoy grimaced as the large wet tongue gave him an affectionate lick.
"Curse my stars and garters, get the hell of me you overgrown hairball," snarled McCoy.
"Purr, purr, kitty give brother big hug, meow kitty like brother," rumbled Creed.
"I am not your freaking brother Creed, what has possessed you to think that we could be, in any way shape or form related?"
"Well ya got claws and fangs just like me, ya got yellow eyes just like me, ya got muttonchops just like I have and yer even hairier than I am, and only ya got soft gray fur just like a kitty cat. Meow, purr, purr, McCoy Creed's brother and he will hug him and love him and never let him go,"
"Logan a little help here, please I'm begging you," pleaded McCoy beseechingly.
Logan took a long sip of his beer, looked McCoy straight in the eye and grinned broadly taking sadistic delight in the man's desperation.
"No bub, I'm just going ta sit back and enjoy the show," chuckled Logan.
Hank's plans had been curtailed by the arrival of Storm who was getting just a little impatient with them. A crackle of electricity had sent his fur standing on end and he'd hastily agreed to go and search the Danger Room with Bobby in tow. Once there they faced a deadly surprise in the form of an ambush by Misty Q, Hank escaped unscathed but Bobby was practically smothered in kisses. The rest of X-Baby Apocalypse's little gang had attacked but thanks to Hank's distracting them with a display of his acrobatic prowess Bobby finally managed to imprison them all behind an ice wall. Unfortunately they found no trace of Logan except for a few scraps of flannel shirt and a pair of cowboy boots. Hank shook his head sadly and decided that he might as well see if he could pick up the feral's scent. Unwisely taking a sniff at the boots he nearly collapses overcome by nausea.
"Hank, are you alright old buddy?"
"Stars and garters, I think so, well since Logan plainly isn't here we'll have to take the search elsewhere. I believe Ororo is rounding up all the X-Babies so she'll be occupied for a while. I suggest we start our search by the pool outside. I fancy a bit of a dip and I'm already wearing my trunks so I don't see any problems,"
"Except your fur clogging up the drain again, still I don't think you're shedding too much at the moment. Yeah let's do it,"
With that Beast and Iceman set off to have some fun, leaving the captured X-Babies behind, not that a little something like being encased in ice would keep them down for long.
McCoy had relaxed within Creed's grip realizing that if he just went limp the iron grip might loosen just a fraction. It did and straining with all his considerable strength McCoy broke free of Creed's grasp, toppling backwards to bang his head painfully against the table. As Creed gazed down at him with mingled affection, concern and bewilderment McCoy was thinking rapidly. He jerked his thumb in the direction of Logan and was relieved as Creed's gaze then focused on Logan. Logan was too busy slapping his sides and roaring with mirth to notice what was about to happen.
"Brother Dear observe that small feral over there, doesn't he look a lot like you? I think he could very well be your brother and I'm sure he would like it if you went over and gave him a nice big hug," said Dark Beast in a saccharine sweet tone.
"Purr, purr, meow kitty go and hug Logan, brother right as usual," rumbled Creed.
Dark Beast nodded enthusiastically and then winced as he managed to push his shoulder back in place. Groaning he staggered to his feet, aching all over his body, ribs feeling as though they had been reduced to splinters, shoulder absolute agony and he was beginning to develop a splitting headache. Maybe it would be best to cut his losses and quit while he was still relatively in one piece. He could always try hacking into Hank's computer and acquire the Twinkie recipe that way with the minimum chance of any injury except possibly an RSI. First though he would catch his breath and enjoy seeing how Logan felt to be on the receiving end of Creed's affections.
"I'm going ta get ya fer this ya fuzz-ball if it's the last thing I ever do! Do ya hear me shaggy yer really going ta get a taste of adamantium right in yer gut," snarled Logan somewhat breathlessly since he was being snuggled near to death by Creed.
"I think not Logan. Hasta la vista baby," sneered McCoy waving a hand in farewell.
Despite his injuries Dark Beast was feeling pretty pleased with himself, after all he'd gotten the chance to cause the X-Men a not inconsiderable amount of trouble and well if he hadn't gotten the Twinkie recipe, he'd surely be able to duplicate it easily. Suddenly he was nearly given a heart attack as something leapt out at him from the shadows. This time Jubilee was wearing a quasi-Medieval costume, was leaping about, wearing greenish makeup and was sticking out her tongue. McCoy scratched his chin in thought for a second and gave Jubilee a nod and a toothy grin.
"Yes you make a wonderful Toad my dear. Why don't you see if you can emulate me next," he purred.
Jubilee rushed off to do just that.
"I am a singing Christmas tree, will you oh will you marry me?" cackled Scott who rather disturbingly was dressed up as Father Christmas.
"Not on your life," growled McCoy.
Maybe it would be best to escape while he still could, things were getting a little too bizarre around here even for his tastes. Shaking his furry head he sighed and thanked his lucky stars and garters that at least he wasn't going to have any more trouble. Of course this showed how little he knew.
As fate would have it Bobby and Hank had forgotten their towels and had just come back to collect them. Catching sight of his gray furred counterpart Hank gestured to Bobby who nodded. Quickly he iced up the floor and though McCoy dug in his claws his legs flew out from under him and he crashed heavily onto his posterior. Looking up he saw Iceman pulling faces and with a roar and a snarl of rage charged towards his enemy. In his blind fury he ran straight into Hank's fist.
"Hello time to see which one of us is the real McCoy. Believe me when I say that this will hurt you a whole lot more than it hurts me. You see this bouncing blue Beast could do with a good scrap," growled Hank.
"Wait, lets talk about this," began McCoy before shrugging and lashing out with his claws. He might not have started this fight but he was going to finish it. Unfortunately he was unprepared for the sheer ferocity of Hank's attack and within seconds he was flying through the air to crash straight through a wall and land hard on the ground. McCoy lay prone groaning and his splitting headache was now a full blown migraine.
"Stars and garters, the boat, that's all she wrote," murmured McCoy before taking a short nap.
"What shall we do with him Hank?" asked Bobby eying the unconscious Dark Beast.
"My dear boy we shall have ourselves some fun. Pass me the Nair," ordered Hank with a sinister grin.