Disclaimer: Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it.

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Rinoa is sitting on her bed. She is wearing her normal long blue cardigan over her black shorts, and top. She is deep in thought, thoughts about the one she loves.

'Why is he always like this? He is so cold towards me that I don't know if he cares or not. He never shows me how he feels so how can I show him?'

She gets up and walks over to the window. Outside it is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and the landscape looks beautiful. Rinoa has no idea where they are but that doesn't matter to her. It is a red landscape, full of dust, little plant life, she can't see any monsters, but that could be because of the presence of Garden. There is a cloud of dust rising because of the propellers of the Garden, making interesting patterns of light play across Rinoa.

'I feel awkward when with him as he hardly ever talks to me, when he does he seems uncomfortable with the situation. As if talking to me is something that he can't stand.'

'So why does everyone think it is normal? I don't think this is normal behaviour for someone. If you love someone and they love you back then normally you talk and spend time together, but with Squall this seems to be the worst thing that can be done. It's as if he doesn't want to know me, yet at times he can be so caring…'

'He came to get me out of the sorceresses' memorial; so in some ways he must care, only… I wish he would show it more. I'm confused as to whether he did that out of duty to me as my knight or love. And how do I find out? The only way is to ask him, but he is so uncomfortable talking to ma about anything, let alone about this… I could talk to someone else bout it, get an outsiders point of view, maybe Selphie, I feel closest to her, but I'm not sure I could explain it so that it is understandable to others.'

Loosing interest in looking out the window, Rinoa starts to pace round her room, restless, but reluctant to leave her dorm.

'I feel so alone. The only thing I want to do is talk to the man I love, but he doesn't want to talk to me I'm sure. I'm scared; scared he doesn't want to be with me, scared of being alone. I've been alone for so long, I want someone to take that loneliness away; I want Squall to be there for me. Through good and bad times, I want him to be there. And I want to be there for him. I care more than I think he realises, and I wish I could tell him, but I'm scared of his reaction. Scared he may push me away. I couldn't stand being pushed away from the one I love.'

She wraps her arms around herself, as if to either simulate someone hugging her, or simulate hugging someone. She quickly stops and looks round her dorm, as if she expects to see someone watching her. On seeing nothing out of the ordinary she returns to look out the window. The scene is just too beautiful. The sun is setting making the whole area look red, a deep, painful red as if it is reflecting Rinoa's pain.

'I think I'll go talk to him, but when I get up to follow through on this advise I get scared and I sit down again, thinking about the possibility he may push me away. And I can't stand that thought, I'd probably leave Garden if that happened as I'm not sure I could stand seeing him nearly every day and know that he doesn't want me. Although I have no idea where I would go. I have no idea. The only place I can think of is home to my father but we haven't got on for many years so I wouldn't know where to go. I should really ask him about it, not in public, I should go to his quarters, ask him there, but I'm scared. I shouldn't be but I am.'

She turns regretfully from the beautiful landscape, and returns to sit on her bed.

'I think I'll put it of for another day, as I always do, I can't think what to say either when I decide to go. I want have it all planed out so that I know what to say, I don't want to just bluff my way through it, making mistakes and saying things wrong, possibly giving the wrong impression, and pushing him away myself.'

'That would be unbearable. If I forced him away I would never forgive myself. I could never; it would be too hard for me to bear. It would break me. Spiritually. It would hurt too much.'

'What do I do? I don't know, I want to talk to someone about it, but then again I don't as I don't want to burden them with my problems. I don't think it's fair on them, as it is unkind to burden them with your problems when the already have their own. I hate being a burden; I hate being thought of in that way. But I can't help assuming that people will see me that way.'

'I need help, but whom do I ask? Quistis? Selphie? I think they may both be to close to both of us to be of any help. I want an outsider's point of view in some ways, and a friend's in another. I want a practical view that is true, not softened so that they think it won't hurt me. But I'm scared that an outsider would think I'm pathetic and tell me to get over my timid and scared attitude. I can't help them. These attitudes are a part of me.'

She lies down on her bed, arms behind her head, staring at the ceiling. The only problem is that her eyelids are starting to get heavy.

'I'm just so tired of worrying about this. I don't know what I should do. What I should say when I see him. I pretty much want to plan out the whole conversation so it goes well. I know I can't predict his comments or reactions but I can plan what I want to say to him. Plan how I want it to sound. So that I won't make a fool of myself… so that I won't sound stupid… so that I won't hurt him…'

'Wow starting to really feel sleepy… can't think straight anymore…'