Wolverine versus the Beast
Logan grunted with the effort as he stretched his arm out as far as he could, sweat trickled down his face and he gritted his teeth straining with the effort. Still it wasn't quite enough to reach that last tin which lay just out of reach on the table. He estimated he was only about four inches away though, just far enough to reach with his claws. Snikt, the three adamantium blades popped out from between his knuckles easily tearing through the metal and sure enough, the aroma of the tin's contents reached his nostrils and those of Creed. The scent of tuna and since Creed was a kitty cat at present he adored fish. Logan grinned as Creed began to purr as he sniffed the air.
"Hey Vic, ya would love some of the fish wouldn't ya. Still yer going ta have ta let me go if ya want ta get the tin ain't ya. Why don't ya put me down and help yerself ta the tuna, smells delicious doesn't it?"
"Purr, purr, tuna, kitty want tuna," purred Creed.
Creed released Logan from the hug and rushed over to feast on the tuna. Logan grinned and rubbed his sore ribs, if it wasn't for his adamantium he was sure he'd have been crushed to death. As it was his healing factor had managed to save him from suffocation although he'd still found it hard to breathe without gagging on the overwhelming stench of catnip and whatever it was Creed had been rolling in. Plus his clothes were covered in little blonde hairs, his shirt was literally hanging in shreds, he was still missing his boots and his favorite leather jacket was now nothing but a memory.
"Yeah I reckon I need ta go grab a shower. Then I'm going ta find McCoy and I'm going ta do something so nasty it'll scare even me?" he gave himself a wolfish grin at that thought.
"Yeah a shower, a beer, a new gray fur rug, that's all ya need ta make this Wolverine happy bub."
Bobby and Hank had found one little snag with their plans for Dark Beast, a total lack of Nair. It had seemed they'd used up the entire supply in sabotaging the showers. That left only one thing for it, to go and look for some more or failing that some of Jean's hair dye. Hank also wondered if he could find another of his experimental Twinkies, if Dark Beast was so curious about them, why not let the man find out for himself.
"I'll just go and see what I can rustle up Bobby; you stay and keep an eye on Dark Beast. I'm sure he'll be no trouble at all."
"Hey don't you worry Hank, Dark Beast won't be going anywhere since he's all tied up at the moment,"
Hank had to admit that Bobby had done a good job with those knots although maybe they ought to have iced him up as well just to be on the safe side. Still McCoy was probably going to be unconscious for some time to come and he'd only be gone a few minutes. He seriously doubted even Bobby would be able to get himself into trouble guarding the prisoner. Whistling a merry little tune to himself Hank went off on his search.
Within a minute of being left on his own the still sugar-high Bobby found boredom setting in. Idly he got to wondering about Dark Beast, was his fur as soft as Hank's? Well it wouldn't do any harm to just go over and touch him would it? As Bobby crept cautiously over he didn't notice the fact that one yellow eye had blinked then closed again. Dark Beast was very much awake just feigning unconsciousness now, waiting for the chance to get his revenge. Bobby was grinning rather goofily now as he just reached out, touched the fur and then screamed his head off as a clawed hand grabbed him by the throat.
"Hands of the fur Bobby, I'm afraid you're very much going to regret that. By the way don't think of icing up, all I have to do is squeeze. Think you can ice up faster than I can break your neck? Remember I'm stronger, faster, more agile and certainly more intelligent than you. If you're wise you'll surrender nicely and maybe I'll be merciful," growled Dark Beast.
"Oh man, I'm going to die," whispered Bobby.
"Oh my dear Bobby I'm not going to kill you, I've got something much more interesting in mind for you dear boy."
Blissfully unaware of his friend's danger Hank was feeling rather pleased with himself, he'd turned up several bottles of hair dye and a fresh batch of Nair. Now he was on his way back to see how Bobby was getting on when he was brought up short by a low growl. Hank blinked in surprise as a set of adamantium claws pointed towards his furry chest. A snarling, very angry and rather less hirsute than usual Logan was before him and Hank immediately knew he was in deep trouble. Of course the hair was already beginning to grow back but Logan was unlikely to be forgiving of this latest desecration of his sideburns.
"Hello Logan, you're not in a very good mood are you? Anything I can do to help?" asked Hank pleasantly.
"I've had with ya and yer blasted Twinkies so I'm afraid I'm going ta have ta teach ya a lesson fuzz-ball. Thanks ta ya my sideburns ain't ever gonna be the same, Jubilee thinks she's every villain in the book, yer gone feral, I got snuggled by a kitty Creed, Bobby's been even more Bobby than usual and in short it's doing my freaking head in! I ain't even had a shower in peace, 'cause of yer stupid pranks with that Nair. Just look what ya did ta my sideburns ya bouncing blue buffoon," Logan's voice rose to a growl as he finished his little speech.
"Stars and garters, I really am sorry," began Hank but he was caught short as Logan's fist slammed into his jaw.
Now it was Hank's turn to growl as he tasted blood on his lips and rubbed his aching jaw. Normally he would have forgiven Logan for punching him, calmed him down with soothing words. That's if he'd been his normal gentle compassionate self. However the present feral Hank, while still mostly gentle now had a feral temper. Hank growled deep in his throat and Logan suddenly got the sinking feeling that his trouble was only just beginning.
"I might not start a fight Logan but I will finish it. If you want to resort to using your fists then so will I," snarled Hank.
His first punch sent Logan smashing straight through a wall and into the wreckage of Jean's bedroom. The latest damage to her beloved bedroom combined with the fact that Logan's flailing claws had torn away her last wig proved too much for poor Jean. Screaming she ran off to lock herself in the bathroom while a very grateful Bishop flung himself at Logan kissing his boots and thanking him again and again for saving him. Logan growled and whirled to face Beast as he came bounding through the hole in the wall. Weighing up the options Bishop decided to do the sensible thing and retreat as quickly as possible.
"Still want to fight Logan? I'm looking forward to a good fight so let's see just how good you really are?"
"I'm the best there is bub!"
"Yes but I'm the beast there is my dear fellow. Tell me Logan have you ever wondered how it feels to be a football? I'll give you a little demonstration!"
Logan growled and charged raining down a furious series of punches which struck thin air. Beast leapt down from the ceiling and landing behind Logan grabbed him by the wrist and flung him high in the air. Dropping onto his back Hank proceeded to demonstrate his juggling skills using the angry Wolverine as a perfect substitute ball. Needless to say this did nothing to improve Logan's temper.
"Are you ready to surrender yet Logan? Remember what I did to Creed?"
"I'm going ta rip yer freaking head off Beast!"
"Dear me I wish you'd try to calm down, think of your blood pressure," sighed Hank with mock distress. He grinned toothily; this was going to be fun. He'd just use his agility to keep out of the way of those claws and just literally throw Logan around until he decided to give up. It was about time that the feral learnt a little lesson in humility.
"Now I can bench press about three thousand pounds. Now even with the adamantium you weigh only a fraction of that. Let's see how far can I throw a Wolverine?"
"Have yer fun while ya can fur-ball, yer going ta get a taste of claw city, just as soon as my head stops spinning."
Creed watched on in bemusement as Cyclops appeared now wearing a leather jacket, jeans, a flannel shirt and he had also died his hair blonde and put on yellow contact lenses. His feline curiosity was further aroused when Jubilee entered wearing a rather brief white dress and she'd put on a lot of blue makeup, yellow contact lenses and she'd dyed her hair red.
"Prepare for trouble," said Jubilee
"Make it double," said Scott.
"To conquer the world for the mutant race,"
"To be the threat all humans shall face."
"We renounce all foolish dreams of peace."
"You'll find our anger will not cease."
"Mystique!"
"Sabretooth"
"Evil mutants, no-one can withstand our might!"
"Surrender now or will you fight?"
"Meow Creed's head hurt," groaned Sabretooth.
Bobby had decided to take the wisest course of action and unconditionally surrender to Dark Beast and after he'd been made to repeatedly beg for mercy his submission had finally been accepted. Now he was being half dragged, half escorted down the corridors as McCoy returned to his desperate search for the experimental Twinkies. Suddenly he came to an abrupt halt, banging his head painfully against Dark Beast's shoulder as the furry gray man stood transfixed by the rather bizarre sight before him. When he finished groaning and rubbing his head Bobby also found himself entranced.
Using Logan as a football was certainly one of the more unorthodox uses for a feral and who would have ever thought that he would make such a good spinning top. The fight wasn't really going Logan's way and after being thrown through yet another wall the feral decided on a radically different course of action. Abject surrender was something one would never have thought they'd see in Logan.
"Please no more, ya win Hank, I'm sorry I punched ya, just no more."
"Oh but I was only getting warmed up, still I accept the surrender and let's just be friends shall we?"
Dark Beast was just about to congratulate his blue-furred counterpart on being such a good fighter when a panicked Storm crashed through the wall followed by every single X-Baby known to the X-Men and quite a few more besides.
"By the Goddess flee for your lives!"
"Oh man, I got a bad feeling about this," muttered Bobby.
"Freaking hell," growled Logan.
"Well curse my stars and garters," snarled McCoy.
"Get your own catchphrase Dark Beast," growled Hank.