Disclaimer: Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.

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Someone knocks on Rinoa's door, making her jump out of her sleep

'Huh? Why'd I suddenly wake, I can't see anything that would have startled me from my dream. Hang on… I was asleep??? I was meant to be thinking about Squall, and our problems. Oh Damn.'

"Rinoa you in there?"

'So that's what woke me, Selphie's come to see me, I wonder why…'

"Come in Selphie. The door's unlocked"

"There's no need to sound so panicked I was only asleep"

"I'm sorry Rinoa; I didn't mean to wake you."

"Its fine Selphie, I hadn't meant to fall asleep, I wanted to think about things, but I found I was so tired that when I lay down on my bed I just fell asleep."

"What were you thinking about?"

'Huh? I though she came to ask me something or tell me something, not just for conversation. Her muffled voice sounded as if it were something important.'

"Nothing much really. Just something that has been worrying me."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"In a way yes, but didn't you come here to talk to me about something?"

"I think it may be the same thing we want to talk about. You go first Rinoa."

'Ok I know curiosity killed the cat, but, according to the proverb, satisfaction did bring it back. Oh what the hell. I may as well tell her seeing as she is here.'

"Ok, sit down Selphie; this may take me a while." Selphie sits down while starting to talk.

"That's fine Rinoa; I've got plenty of free time, buckets of the stuff. So much I don't know what to do with most of it. I just keep wandering round Garden looking for something to do but I norm-"

"Erm Selphie?"

"Yes Rinoa."

"At the rate your going there won't be any free time!"

"Oh Hyne, sorry Rinoa, you know how I get. A little over enthusiastic about everything!!!"

"That's ok Selphie. Well the thing that's bothering me is the way Squall is around me. I like him a lot, actually no I love him."

"This is what I wanted to talk to you about – Squall!!!"

"Ok Selphie, no need to deafen me in the process!"

"Oh I'm so sorry Rinoa, I got excited again!"

'Wow maybe this wasn't such a good idea; I don't really want to get deafened by Selphie if she gets excited again. Well can't back out now! I've already told her I wanted to talk to her. But how do I begin? I don't know where to start.'

"Um Rinoa? You ok? You look really worried and are being really quite."

"I'm fine I just don't know where to start, that's all. This is going to be really hard for me to explain."

"Hey I'm not busy; I've got nothing to do until I have to go eat something!"

"OK well, here goes nothing. I'm confused, confused about the way Squall feels for me. I don't know if he loves me or not, I don't even know if he cares for me. I guess he does as he came and got me out of the Sorceresses Memorial…"

"Well of course he cares about you. He wasn't willing to go stop Lunatic Pandora or look for Ellone until he had got you back!"

"And he seemed so happy when I got out, I felt so close to him at that moment, but after that he hasn't show any emotion towards me. It's as if he is shutting me out of his life. He doesn't want me in it for fear that we may become close, may become intimate. I mean is he scared of commitment? Or is there something about me that scares him. I haven't done anything to prompt this fear. Or at least I don't think I have. I care for him. I care so much that it scares me. It hurts that he doesn't seem to care about me in the same way that I care for him. Or if he does he sure is good at hiding it. It's as if when he is talking to me he doesn't actually connect. I can't really explain what I mean."

"Well try your best Rinoa coz right now I ain't really understanding."

"I mean, when I talk to him, it's like he's not really there, like he is thinking about something else, and is responding on autopilot. It's as if he doesn't actually want to talk to me, or like I'm talking to a brick wall. In fact I think I may get more response out of a brick wall."

"Wow Rinoa, that's a rather harsh statement."

"I'm hurting Selphie, hurting a lot. And right now I don't feel like being nice. But I also don't like hurting him."

Rinoa's eyes become really glazed as she starts thinking about Squall.

'I'm scared I'm hurting him now by being here. I don't know how to tell him I love him. I don't know what to do about how I feel. I'm scared that if I tell him he'll hate me as he won't feel the same. Won't care for me in the way I care for him. I couldn't bear seeing him in the halls knowing that he feels nothing for me…'

"Erm Rinoa?? You still in the land of the living??"

"Oh sorry Selphie, I was thinking about something."

"I'll take a wild guess and say Squall?!?!"

"So hard to tell isn't it. Mind you since we are talking about him, it's not really that hard."

"True!"

"It's just I love him so much, it physically hurts. I feel I can't take much more of this, but if I left I wouldn't know where to go. I can't go back to Deling City as I don't get on with my Dad any more and it would just be awkward there. And I can't stay here as it is too painful for me, but I have no where else to go."

"Rinoa, please don't leave. You have to tell him how you feel."

"But I can't Selphie; I'm too scared of how he'll react to this."

"Well the only other thing I can think of is that you write him a letter."

"That just seems so impersonal. I guess I'm going to have to conquer my fear and tell him."

"That's the Spirit!"

"I know! I'll invite him to come out for a meal with me. A private meal Selphie, so don't you go getting any ideas."

"Aww come on. I want to see how this turns out."

"No please Selphie, I need to do this on my own. With no one else around listening. Please Selphie. I need to tell him on my own."

"Ok fine. I'll keep everyone away. But you have to promise me you'll tell me how it works out, please. I really want to see you both happy. You two were made for each other, though you don't seem to realise it."

"Well thanks for coming to see me Selphie. I'm going to Ring the Restaurant. Don't even think of listening through the door!"

"Ok, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Selphie"

Rinoa gets up and crosses the room.

Hmm… I think I'd better check that she really isn't listening out side the door. I just don't want everyone to know when it is we'll be going to the restaurant, and also which one.'

She opens her door to reveal Selphie crouched by it trying to listen.

"Selphie. What do you think you are doing?"

"AHHH don't be mad, I just really want to know when you are going to go to the restaurant!"

"Selphie, I said I don't want everyone to know because I don't. I just want it to be me and Squall. Now go Selphie."

"…ok. You can go back into your dorm now, I'm going."

"I want to make sure you leave."


'It's not that I don't trust her, it's just I really don't want everyone to 'accidentally' turn up. This is going to be just me and Squall.'

"Hello? Is that Balamb Hotel?"

"Yes it is madam. How can I help you?"

"I would like to book a table for two for Friday night please."

"Certainly madam, what time would you like to book your table for?"

"About 8pm please."

"Certainly madam. And will the two of you be arriving together."

"No. Commander Leonhart will be arriving separately."

"I'm so sorry madam, but he already has a table booked here for that time."

'What?? He has already booked a table? But who is he going with?'

"Hello? Madam?"

"Sorry I got lost in thought there."

"That's fine madam. Do you still want to book a table?"

"No, cancel the booking. I'm so sorry to waste your time."

"Not at all madam, good evening."

"Thank you and Bye."

'He is taking someone out to diner. And he leaves me to find out this way. That hurts, that really, really hurts Squall. I don't know what to do. I don't understand. I don't know what to do. Where do I go? I feel so numb. All I feel is pain. Pain that he could hurt me so much in this way. But I can't help the pain I feel. I feel betrayed. I thought he cared. But then again he never gave me any indication he did. I only assumed.'

'Huh? Why is my hand so wet? Where's this water coming from? Is there a leak in my ceiling? No, I can't see any indication of one, so where is this water coming from? Hang on… this isn't water, it tastes salty? Am I crying? My cheeks are wet, yet I don't feel like I'm crying. See what you've done to me Squall. I don't feel anything at all other than this pain. Pain you've caused me. You've really hurt me this time Squall. Squall, I still feel I need you, Squall… Squall… Squall…'

"Squall… I need you."

'Squall you're supposed to be my knight. How can you be in you are willing to hurt me in this way. A knight is supposed to protect his Sorceress, not hurt her.'

'I can't stay. I can't bear the pain. I can't stay. I've got to leave. But where will I go? I have no where I can go. I don't even have an idea of where I'd head for. No strength. I can't even stand up anymore. Squall how could you do this to me?'

'Wow, I've never realised how uncomfortable the floor is to sit on. No! I must get up. I've got to be strong. I've got to pack. Got to get out of this place. I can't bear the thought of seeing him in the halls with someone. Someone who isn't me. Seeing them so happy.'

'That's it! Zone, Watts, I'll find them. I'll look for the White SeeD ship. They'll look after me again. But where do I start to look for the ship? I hope they haven't left Centra. I'll take as much as I can carry with me. Where's my suitcase? Oh Hyne. It's locked in storage. I can't get hold of it with out someone with the key to the room. Ok where's my holdall. Where did I put that? Please don't tell me I put that into storage to. No I can't of, I need it. Need it now. Who has the key to the storage room? Squall, Cid, Xu and Quistis. Cid and Quistis would tell Squall that I've got my suitcase. Xu would probably tell either Quistis or Cid who in turn would tell Squall. I don't want any of them to know I've left. I can't ask any of them without Squall finding out. Where in Hynes name is my holdall? Why do I care if he finds out so much?'

'Ah ha! Here it is. I think I can get most of my stuff in here. Or at least the essentials. I can buy what ever I need when I'm far away from here. I just have to leave.'

'I hope no one is out side my dorm. I don't want to see people. I just want to leave without a fuss. Squall won't be about – too busy with commanding the Garden. Zell should be in the cafeteria trying to get hotdogs; Quistis should hopefully be helping with teaching. Selphie has just been with me so should be down the Quad again. She loves it there, what with the production coming up and all. Ahh I haven't a clue where Irvine will be. I hope no where near here. I have to get out without anyone seeing me.'

'Hmmm why is Garden so quite? Not that I'm complaining, makes it easier for me to leave. I haven't seen anyone since I left my dorm. This is strange. Oh well there is the gateway. Not far to go now. If I had met someone awkward questions would have been asked about where I was going. Questions I don't want to answer.'

"Hey miss, where are you going?"

'Hyne don't scare me like that. It made me jump so much.'

"Huh oh sorry. I'm going to visit friends."

'Oh it's only the gate keeper.'

"Wouldn't you rather wait until we are in a city and leave then?"

"No that's ok. They live round here, but move around a lot. It's easiest to locate them by starting off where they were last seen. And so it's easiest if I am dropped of here."

"Ok if you're sure."

"I am thanks for the concern."

"Bye then."

"Bye"

'That was close. Well there goes Garden into the distance. I guess I won't ever see it again. And in some ways I am glad I won't. Too much pain is associated with that place. But there were also some good memories. Now I'm only going to look to the future now not the past.'

With that Rinoa Heartily left Balamb Garden, walking into the sunset. Headed for the last know position of the White SeeD ship. Unknown to everyone that she had left Garden, everyone except the Gate Keeper……