Disclaimer: Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.

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'Am I dead? Is this what it feels like to be dead? I wouldn't of thought it would be so painful. But then again I didn't know what to expect. But I didn't expect so much pain. Squall, why aren't you here for me? I'm scared. I need you Squall. I need comfort, why aren't you here?'

'This is so painful. I don't want to feel it anymore. Just want to sink away from it. Back to where I can't feel it anymore. Where it doesn't hurt so much.'

*~*~*~*~

Irvine is awake, leaning on an elbow looking down at Selphie, who is asleep. His hair is loose, some of it falls in front of his face, and he takes it in his free hand, and flicks it back over his shoulder. He gentle strokes Selphie's hair, and regretfully he tries to wake her.

"Hey Selphie, wake up."

"Hmmm, whatdoyawant Irvy?"

"I can't sleep. I'm going to go visit Rinoa."

"Mm ok, seeyoulater."

Irvine leaves Selphie and quietly gets dressed. He puts on his tan leather trousers, and a deep purple vest top. He grabs the first thing he sees to tie his hair back with, which happens to be an elastic band, and leaves his dorm. He heads further into the Dormitory area.

'But before I go see Rinoa, I'm just going to check on Squall. I don't want him to wake up too soon. A sleeping spell may be in order.'

He arrives at Squall's dorm and quietly opens the door to see if Squall is stirring or not.

'Hmm he is stirring. I want to talk to Rinoa without him there. Ah well, I guess it can't be helped.'

~ Sleep. ~

'That should keep him out the way for several more hours. I think he needs the sleep anyway. Really, I'm just doing him a kindness. He needs some time when he cannot worry about anything, and right now, the only time he gets that is when he's sleeping.'

Irvine quietly closes Squall's door and leaves the Dormitories, heading for the Infirmary.

'Well off to the Infirmary. Hyne I really hate that place. It makes me feel ill not better. I think it is something to do with the smell.'

'Garden is very quite right now. I guess that's because it is really early. 6am is early for most people. But when you're a sniper, you often can't sleep so 6am isn't new to me. So peaceful. I like it. I wish Garden were like this more often, you can do a lot of thinking in this quietness.'

Irvine arrives at the Infirmary and sees Dr. Kadowaki busy at her computer.

"Hey Irvine."

"Hey Dr. Kadowaki."

"Are you ok? I hope you're not ill."

"No, no, nothing like that."

"Good, so why are you here at this time in the morning?"

"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come and see how Rinoa is getting on."

"Well, I've managed to repair the damage the Torama did to her shoulder. But how she really is, I can't tell. She keeps getting close to returning to consciousness but each time she does, she sinks back deeper again. I'm worried. All I can say is that she keeps calling out for Squall, though it seems to pain her. She looks hurt every time she says his name. Did you have any problems with him last night?"

"No, none what so ever. Though when I did go check on him this morning, I did cast a sleep spell on him."

"Oh and why did you do that?"

"I want him to get some rest, and also I want to talk to Rinoa on my own before he does. And possibly causes trouble."

"You know Irvine, you're a good friend."

"Thanks Dr. Kadowaki."

"No problems, Irvine. Do you want to go and sit with Rinoa?"

"Yeah please, if that's ok."

"Go ahead. It won't do any harm."

Irvine enters the room Rinoa is in. She is lying on the bed, looking pale against the white of the sheets and her black hair. He walks over to the side of her bed and looks down on her.

'Rinoa. What made you leave Garden? It's so dangerous out there. What happened that made you want to leave so badly? I wish you would wake up. I need to talk to you before Squall wakes from the sleeping spell I put on him.'

He sits on the chair next to her bed, looking intently at her.

'Wow, she looks so peaceful. I wonder what's going on in that pretty head of hers.'

"Rinoa, Rinoa please wake up. I need to talk to you before Squall wakes."

'Huh? When I mentioned Squall's name she looked really pained. I don't get it. What's happened that has made her associate pain with his name?'

"Rinoa. Wake up please. I really need to talk to you. I need to know what's happened to make you hurt so much."

'I can't sit here all day, waiting for her to wake up. I know I'll ask Dr. Kadowaki to call me when she wakes, and to keep Squall out if she can. I think Rinoa needs to talk to someone. Someone who isn't Squall.'

He leaves the room and approaches Dr. Kadowaki at her computer. It looks as if she is battling with sleep that is threatening to take over her.

"Dr. Kadowaki."

"Yes Irvine."

"Would it be possible for you to call me when Rinoa wakes up please?"

"Sure no problem."

"And can you try and keep Squall out."

"I can try. But I can't promise. He does have more authority than me."

"If he gives you any trouble, I suggest a sleep spell. It works well!"

"Now Irvine, you know I don't believe in these spells you cast on yourselves, never know what they may do to you if something goes wrong."

"True, but they do make things so much easier."

"Hmm. Well if you will keep insisting on using them."

"See you later doc."

"Bye Irvine."

Irvine leaves the Infirmary and starts to wander aimlessly round Garden, thinking.

'I hope Rinoa wakes up soon. And before Squall. I want to talk to her without him hammering on the door trying to get in. I don't want her to get upset. I don't want to have to cast another sleep spell on Squall. It's not good for me, or him. Me because I need time to build up my magic reserves. Him because it's not good for you to have too many spells cast on you in a short period of time. It would be draining for him to.'

'Hmmm, the sun is starting to rise. I think I'll go up to the second floor exit and watch it rise over the ocean. I haven't had the chance to do that I so long. I used to enjoy it. Nature talking to me in colors. No sounds except those that nature has created. Such a peaceful time of day, that and sunset.'

He heads for the elevator and presses the second floor button. He notices as he ascends up the centre of Garden that he is the only one up and wandering round Garden like him. the elevator arrives at the second floor and he leaves heading for the exit. As he arrives the sun is just starting to show over the sea. He sits on the wall surrounding the open area, and watches the sun, thinking. The sun is creating may varied patterns on the sea, in pale pinks, blues, purples, and yellows.

'The sunrise looks breath taking today. I may think that because I haven't watched the sunrise in ages. I used to watch it rise and set everyday. I miss having the freedom to do that. I wish I still had that freedom. What amazing colors nature can create. And it makes me feel so peaceful. I wish this amazing color display would last forever. Just so that I can go on watching it. I hope Rinoa wakes soon. I should check on Squall soon. Make sure he isn't stirring and ruins things.'

*~*~*~*~

'So much pain. I don't want to return there. It hurts too much. I want to sink back to the bliss of not knowing pain.'

"Rinoa, Rinoa listen to me. Wake up Rinoa."

'That voice. Sounds so familiar. I know it but can't place it. I want to keep listening, but there is to much pain. Can't concentrate on anything but the pain.'

"Rinoa, open your eyes. I know you can hear me. Open your eyes."

'No, I don't want to. It hurts too much. Squall, Squall take the pain away. I don't want to feel the pain. Someone take the pain away, please?'

"Rinoa, open you eyes, now."

'But I don't want to. Squall; help me, Squall, Squall,'

"Squall."

"Nice to see you open your eyes at last."

"Dr. Kadowaki?"

"Yes Rinoa."

"Am I alive? How'd I get here?"

"Yes you are and Squall carried you here."

"Squall?"

"Yes. Why do you have so much hatred in your voice when you say his name?"

"Oh no reason."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine, other that the burning pain in my shoulder."

"Do you want something to take that pain away?"

"No. I'd rather feel it. It makes me feel alive."

"Ok, if your sure, but if it gets too much let me know."

"Ok."

Dr. Kadowaki leaves the room and goes to user her phone. Rinoa is left thinking about what happened.

'I'm… alive? But how. The last thing I remember is the Torama above me, about to bite my head off. And the fear of that moment. How'd I survive? I know how I got here. Squall carried me here. But why'd he do that? He doesn't care for me; he proved that with the dinner appointment.'

'I don't want to be here; I want to be as far away from here as possible, away from Squall and the pain he's caused me.'

"Hello you said you wanted me to call."

'Huh? Who's Dr. Kadowaki talking to?'

"Well she's awake, are you going to come down?"

'Oh no, not Squall please not Squall. I don't want to talk to him. I can't talk to him. I'm too hurt by him to even think straight. I have to get out of here before he gets here.'

Rinoa tries to get up, leaning on her injured arm, forgetting for a moment that is was injured, but burning pain sears through it and she collapses back onto the bead, screaming.

"AHH"

'It hurts so much to move. But I have to.'

"Hang on a minute, I'll be right back." Dr. Kadowaki leaves the phone and runs into Rinoa's room. "Rinoa what do you think you are doing?"

"I… I have to leave."

"You're not going anywhere, not yet anyway."

"But I can't stay."

"You can and you will. Now stay there in the bed."

Dr. Kadowaki walks back to the phone and continues her conversation.

"Sorry about that. Rinoa was trying to leave. So you'll come down immediately. Great. See you in a few minutes."

'No I can't bear to see him. I want to leave, want to be far away from here. What can I do? I can't leave; I've just proved that to myself. It hurts to much to move. But what can I do to avoid Squall? I can't hide here, I'm on show. And Dr. Kadowaki's called him here, so it's not like he won't come. What can I do? Crying won't help but I can't help it. I don't want to see him.'

*~*~*~*~

Irvine is still sat on the wall of the second floor exit. The sun has long since risen but he decided not to move. Enjoying the warmth of the sun. he is startled when the phone rings but doesn't move til the end of the conversation. He regretfully leaves the balcony, but decides that he needs to see Rinoa, soon.

'I'd better check on Squall, don't want him interrupting me and Rinoa. I want to talk to her before he wakes. I think it's for the best.'


He hurries down to Squall's dorm, running part of the way, hoping he won't meet anyone on the way. He arrives at Squall's dorm, slightly out of breath, and peeps in the dorm.

'Oh good, he's still asleep. That means I don't have to worry about him to much. He should be out for several more hours. He doesn't appear to be fighting the sleep. He needs it poor guy.'

'I'd better hurry to the Infirmary. If Rinoa has tried to leave, that means there is definitely something wrong. I need to find out what it is. And I have a feeling it is something to do with Squall. I think I need to talk to them both individually, before they see each other. I need to start with Rinoa, seeing as she seems to have the problem. All this needs to be sorted, before it's too late.'

He hurries to the Infirmary, though not running this time as people are starting to appear around Garden.

"Dr. Kadowaki."

"Irvine."

"So how is she?"

"Panicked. I'm not sure what's wrong, but she seems to think she can't stay here."

"That's worrying. Is that her crying I can here?"

"Yes, she really is distraught."

"Is it ok if I go and talk to her?"

"Go ahead; I can't see it doing any harm."

"Thanks."

'I need to sort this out, before it's too late.'

He enters the room, ready to talk to Rinoa.

*~*~*~*~

'Is that Irvine's voice I can hear? Does that mean it wasn't Squall Dr. Kadowaki was calling? Oh please let that be so. I can't face Squall. Not yet. I need to think about things before I face him. I can't face him yet. Once I've thought about how I feel I'll be able to face him. Just not right now. In a few days maybe, but not now.'

She bursts into tears, tears of relief that it wasn't Squall Dr. Kadowaki was calling.

*~*~*~*~

"Hey Rinoa, can I come in?"

"…"

"How are you? Feeling better I hope. Do you mind talking to me? Please?"

"…"

"Rinoa, please stop crying, I don't know what's happened but surly it isn't worth all these tears."

"Oh Irvine."

"It's ok, Rinoa, try and calm down. I'm here for you."

Irvine goes over to Rinoa's bed and sits down next to her, stroking her hair. Rinoa is lying down on her bed, facing away from Irvine. When he sits down she turns over and sits up, latching onto Irvine, and crying more. He holds her back, sensing that she needs someone to hold onto, and to hold her.

'Gosh I hope neither Squall nor Selphie come in here anytime soon. They may interpret this in the wrong way. I mean all I'm doing is hugging her. But the frame of mind Squall's in right now, he'd probably take it the wrong way. And I just can't bear hurting Selphie.'

"Cry all you need to Rinoa. I'll stay as long as you want me to."

"Just h-hold me, p-please Irvine."

'Wow she really is upset; her sobs are racking her whole body. I never knew emotions could be so powerful. I guess it's the fact I have to suppress mine due to being a Sniper. I need to be able to focus, to ignore personal feelings. I need to learn to open up to people again. I can't that easily…'

"Irvine?"

"Yes Rinoa?"

"Did you come here to talk to me about Squall?"

"Yes, but only if you want to."

"I do. But I don't know where to begin."

"How about with why you left Garden?"

"O-ok. I left because I found out that Squall is seeing someone else."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I phoned up Balamb Hotel to book a table for two for Squall and me, for Friday night. But when I did the person at the Hotel told me that 'Commander Leonhart already has a table booked for two for that night'. When I found this out I realised he was seeing someone else. And that he didn't really love me, he loves the girl he is taking out to dinner on Friday. It hurt me so much that I had to leave. I couldn't bear the though of seeing him walking round with someone latched onto his arm, someone that wasn't me. I love him so much Irvine that I couldn't bear to see him with someone else. So I thought it better not to see him at all than to see him with someone else." She breaks down into tears again.'

'Oh Rinoa, you don't know how wrong you've got this…'

"Rinoa, Rinoa look at me please. That table Squall booked, it wasn't for him and someone else, and it was for you and him. He wanted to take you out to dinner to discuss something. I can't say what that's for him to tell you."

"W-what?"

"He wanted to talk you out to dinner. Not someone else, you."

"H-he wanted to-to take m-me out?"

"Yes Rinoa."

"B-but he never s-said anything t-to me."

"I don't think he had found the right time to ask you."

"Oh Irvine I feel like such an idiot. I've blown this whole thing out of proportion haven't I?"

"I'm afraid so Rinoa."

"Can you go talk to him for me; I can't face him right now."

"Sure Rinoa. I was going to anyway."

"Thanks Irvine, you're the greatest."

"I know!"

Irvine heads out of the Infirmary, heading for the dormitories to face Squall.

'I just wish Selphie felt the same about me, ah well, here I go to try to talk to Squall without him going completely mental when he finds out Rinoa is awake. Why is everything left up to me? I can't deal with everything you know people. But then again I do always seem to be in the wrong place if I want to avoid these things. Everyone sees me as the one who knows everything. But really I'm as lost as everyone else. How can I sort everyone else's problems but not my own? Oh well into the lion's den I go. Hehe lion's den, Squall Leonhart, sometimes I out do myself!'

"Squall, Squall wake up I need to talk to you."

"Notrightnow."

"Yes Squall, wake up now."

"Go 'way."

"No I won't Squall. I need to talk to you about Rinoa."

"Mmmm Rinoa. She 'wake?"

"Yea, but before you go see her I need to talk to you about something."

"Hmph"

'Oh I thought that would have prompted a larger reaction than just a hmph. Strange. Maybe it just need to sink in. It should kick in right about… now…'

"What she's awake? I have to go, now I have to see her."

"Squall stop."

"What's wrong Irvine can't it wait til later?"

"No this can't."

"Buy my Angel is awake again. How long have I been out?"

"I'd say about fourteen hours."

"Fourteen hours??? How long has she been awake?"

"About an hour."

"I have to go see her."

"No Squall. I have to talk to you first. This is more important. It's about Rinoa."

"What's wrong with her? Is she hurt? Injured? Is she ok? Is she … dead? Doesn't she want to see me?"

"Slow down Squall. She's fine now."

"What do you mean now?"

"Well after I talked to her, hugged her, explained a few things to her."

"What? You were there to comfort her, not me??"

"She didn't want to see you at the time."

"Why ever not? I'm her knight."

"Squall, why didn't you tell her you were going to take her out to dinner?"

"I tried but I couldn't find the right time. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Rinoa rang up Balamb Hotel to book a table for you and her, the same night you'd already booked one. The hotel said you already had a table, but didn't say who with. She thought you were seeing someone else."

"Oh Hyne, no wonder she left. I have to go see her, go explain things to her. I have to make her see I didn't mean to hurt her."

"Squall, I've already explained. She knows she misinterpreted the information. And she's sorry. But still slightly upset."

"Do you think it is a good idea to go see her?"

"It's up to you. But I think she wants to see you. Possibly not now but soon."

"Can you go see her again for me please? I need to know how she is."

"I guess I can."

"Thanks Irvine, you've done so much for me in the last few days I don't know how to thank you."

"I'll think of something, don't worry!"

'Well I guess I had better make another trip to the Infirmary, see Rinoa again. Hope she isn't resting, that would just be awkward, not to mention annoying. But she does need it. Ah well, time to brave Dr. Kadowaki again. Not that I don't like her, it's just she scares me, and sick bay makes me feel ill. Stupid place.'

He heads out of the dormitories, towards the Infirmary. Making a quick detour by the Cafeteria to get himself some well earned breakfast!

*~*~*~*~

Squall paces around his dorm, impatient to see Rinoa. He moves from the window, to his bed, to his table and back to the window again. He can't keep still, thinking about Rinoa.

'Can't you hurry up Irvine? I want to go see my Angel but I don't want to hurt her. I want to be there for her, I want to comfort her, I want to hold her, and never let go. I'm going to have to tell her how I feel this time. Not in a fancy restaurant, here, in the Infirmary, before something else goes wrong. She has to know how I feel. Even though it does scare me, I have to tell her. I can't let things get out of hand. I can't let someone else tell her. It has to be me. I want to tell her… but I'm still scared. I'm not sure how to tell her.'

'I guess I just have to be truthful, explain how I feel, the same as I did with Irvine. I have to let her know, before it becomes too late.'

'Hyne Irvine, what's taking you so long? I can't wait any longer, I have to go to the Infirmary, I have to see my angel.'

He leaves his dorm, to impatient to wait for Irvine to return. Heading for the Infirmary, he ignores everyone around him.