Author's Note: I can't complete all of the scenes due to time
constrictions, although if I could I'd write lyrics to the entirety of the
songs, or I'd complete more scenes. Sorry if I have to change things.
Right now I just want this to be funny. (Hopefully it is.) And this IS
told from the viewpoint of Professor Snape! Imagine him singing! (It's
really funny, I promise you.)
I laid the unconscious Satine down on the bed, and just then there was another knock on the door; it was the Professor. "I forgot my." he gasped at seeing me somewhat "on" Satine, "foul play?" he hissed. Satine suddenly awoke, "Oh, Professor." "Foul play?!" he cried, "No time to talk to me now, is that right? Meet me in the gothic tower tonight; don't discuss anything with me now?" She looked up at me, "Oh, no, we were just discussing potions." "Discussing potions? You mean to tell me that clad in those skimpy work robes, in the middle of the night, inside your bedroom, that you were just discussing potions?!" he shouted. Suddenly Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall appeared via Apparation, "How's the conversation going?" asked Dumbledore, sipping a butterbeer.
The Professor looked baffled, "Er." "Can I offer you a drink?" asked Dumbledore. In the meantime, Harry Kidman heard a lot of noises and more voices than he remembered inside Satine's room, and came bursting in, "What's going on?" Satine immediately jumped up, "Harry! You made it! Don't worry, the Professor knows all about our emergency potions conference!" she said, putting emphasis on the words "potions conference." He gave her an odd look, "That's why he's so keen to invest," she added, her eyes widening slightly. "Invest?" asked Harry, "Oh yes! Of course! Invest! Well my dear Professor, let us head to my office to peruse the paperwork." "I'm way ahead of you, Kidman," said the swarthy Professor, "what's the potion?" "The potion?" asked Kidman. "Well if I'm to invest I'll have to know what you're making," replied the Professor.
Kidman smiled, "Of course. Er, Dumbledore?" Dumbledore smiled, "It's a love potion!" "A love potion?!" said the Professor, making a grossed-out face. "Of course," said Kidman, "it will be."
Cue music to "Spectacular Spectacular"
"Spectacular, Spectacular! And words of that vernacular! Can't describe, this great potion. You'll be done, with wonderment. You must agree, they're excellent. And on top of your fee.you'll be involved productively."
"So exciting the students will all jump and cheer, so delighting it will go for fifty years, so exciting the students will all jump and cheer, so delighting it will go for fifty years!!!!"
The Professor stared for a moment, "If you are one hundred percent sure." "We're sure," said Kidman, nodding his head profusely. The Professor nodded, "Alright. Let's go to your office to look at the paperwork." The two of them left, with the Professor giving Satine a disgustingly hormone-filled look; she smiled back politely. Dumbledore and McGonagall let out sighs of relief, as did Satine and I; "So Professor Caldwell.do we have your support?" asked Dumbledore. She nodded, "Of course. Thank you so much for the.interview." Dumbledore looked at me, "We'll be returning to Hogwarts now. We'll see you there." They Apparated, and we were left alone.
Satine flushed slightly and turned away from me, shuffling a few random items on her tabletop. "Satine, I was wondering.if.if what you said earlier." "Was just an act?" she said, filling in the sentence. I nodded, "Well.yes." "Of course," she replied surely. I nodded, "Silly of me to think that you could ever fall in love with someone like me." She smiled sadly at me, "Severus, I'm a potions master. I'm too busy to fall in love with anyone. I can't." I nodded, "Well, I'd best be off. Goodbye." And I Apparated to Hogwarts.
I was sure I would never see her again.
I laid the unconscious Satine down on the bed, and just then there was another knock on the door; it was the Professor. "I forgot my." he gasped at seeing me somewhat "on" Satine, "foul play?" he hissed. Satine suddenly awoke, "Oh, Professor." "Foul play?!" he cried, "No time to talk to me now, is that right? Meet me in the gothic tower tonight; don't discuss anything with me now?" She looked up at me, "Oh, no, we were just discussing potions." "Discussing potions? You mean to tell me that clad in those skimpy work robes, in the middle of the night, inside your bedroom, that you were just discussing potions?!" he shouted. Suddenly Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall appeared via Apparation, "How's the conversation going?" asked Dumbledore, sipping a butterbeer.
The Professor looked baffled, "Er." "Can I offer you a drink?" asked Dumbledore. In the meantime, Harry Kidman heard a lot of noises and more voices than he remembered inside Satine's room, and came bursting in, "What's going on?" Satine immediately jumped up, "Harry! You made it! Don't worry, the Professor knows all about our emergency potions conference!" she said, putting emphasis on the words "potions conference." He gave her an odd look, "That's why he's so keen to invest," she added, her eyes widening slightly. "Invest?" asked Harry, "Oh yes! Of course! Invest! Well my dear Professor, let us head to my office to peruse the paperwork." "I'm way ahead of you, Kidman," said the swarthy Professor, "what's the potion?" "The potion?" asked Kidman. "Well if I'm to invest I'll have to know what you're making," replied the Professor.
Kidman smiled, "Of course. Er, Dumbledore?" Dumbledore smiled, "It's a love potion!" "A love potion?!" said the Professor, making a grossed-out face. "Of course," said Kidman, "it will be."
Cue music to "Spectacular Spectacular"
"Spectacular, Spectacular! And words of that vernacular! Can't describe, this great potion. You'll be done, with wonderment. You must agree, they're excellent. And on top of your fee.you'll be involved productively."
"So exciting the students will all jump and cheer, so delighting it will go for fifty years, so exciting the students will all jump and cheer, so delighting it will go for fifty years!!!!"
The Professor stared for a moment, "If you are one hundred percent sure." "We're sure," said Kidman, nodding his head profusely. The Professor nodded, "Alright. Let's go to your office to look at the paperwork." The two of them left, with the Professor giving Satine a disgustingly hormone-filled look; she smiled back politely. Dumbledore and McGonagall let out sighs of relief, as did Satine and I; "So Professor Caldwell.do we have your support?" asked Dumbledore. She nodded, "Of course. Thank you so much for the.interview." Dumbledore looked at me, "We'll be returning to Hogwarts now. We'll see you there." They Apparated, and we were left alone.
Satine flushed slightly and turned away from me, shuffling a few random items on her tabletop. "Satine, I was wondering.if.if what you said earlier." "Was just an act?" she said, filling in the sentence. I nodded, "Well.yes." "Of course," she replied surely. I nodded, "Silly of me to think that you could ever fall in love with someone like me." She smiled sadly at me, "Severus, I'm a potions master. I'm too busy to fall in love with anyone. I can't." I nodded, "Well, I'd best be off. Goodbye." And I Apparated to Hogwarts.
I was sure I would never see her again.