"Oz?"

I hear a woman's voice calling my name, and I'm almost certain that it's Willow. However, instead of opening my eyes, I lie back and imagine what I should tell her, what I *will* tell her, when I awake.

If there's anything that you want
If there's anything that I can do
Just call on me and I send it along
With love from me to you
I got everything that you want
Like a heart that's oh, so true
Just call on me and I send it along
With love from me to you
I got arms that long to hold
you and keep you by my side
I got lips that long to kiss
you and keep you satisfied
If there's anything that you want
If there's anything that I can do
Just call on me and I send it along
With love from me to you
Just call on me and I send it along
With love from me to you
I got arms that long to hold
you and keep you by my side
I got lips that long to kiss
you and keep you satisfied
If there's anything that you want
If there's anything that I can do
Just call on me and I send it along
With love from me to you

***********************************************************************

"Hey, Cordy, what's your friend mumbling about?" asked Gunn.

"Willow," answered Angel knowingly.

"You mean that redheaded chick that's friends with your ex?"

"Yeah," answered the vampire with a slight bitterness in his voice.

"Why'd he, you know, wolf out?" asked Fred, who was now hovering over Oz's prone form. "The full moon isn't even for another two weeks."

"Willow told me that he'd been trying to control the changes," replied Cordelia. "He left the second time because he lost control...."

"Around red?"

"Worse, Gunn," came Cordelia's pained reply. "He lost it around Tara because he smelled Willow's scent on her."

"Wow," murmured Gunn as he tightened his grip on Fred's hand. "He must really love her."

"Kinda explains why he's been a wolf for the past three weeks," remarked Fred. "Should we wake him up and tell him what happened?"

"No," declared Angel flatly. "He's going to have to deal with it anyways, but he deserves to get some rest first."

Cordelia began to protest, but Angel glared at her, motioning towards his office. The two started in that direction, but were stopped by Fred. "Wait," she replied timidly. "I think he's waking up."

***********************************************************************

No longer able to keep my eyes closed, I open them and immediately my eyes sear from the fluorescent light. I'm also ambushed by feelings of sadness, remorse, and fear.

Then I remember. I lost control. My eyes finally come into focus, and I see a woman with long brown hair. She's a very thin woman, and looks extremely worried. She reminds me of Willow.

I sit up and try to ask about Willow, but all that comes out of my mouth is a weak-sounding, "Willow...."

"Shh," she soothes. "Lie down; everything's alright. You're with friends, Oz."

I look at her with a questioning glare, and she backs off fearfully into the the arms of a really big and tough looking guy that I presume is her boyfriend or something. A familiar scent catches my attention and I turn around, seeing Angel and Cordelia for the first time. "Hey," I reply, giving them what for me is a huge smile. "Why am I here?" Looking at myself, I realize that I'm also quite naked under my covers. "And where are my clothes?"

"You wolfed out," announces Cordy.

"Yeah, I remember that," I respond. "How long did it last?"

"Three weeks."

Three weeks. The wolf was in control for almost a month. I look at myself, unsure of what to say. "Did I hurt anyone?"

"Four dead, 27 injured," answers Cordelia gravely.

I can't believe it. I've killed again. "Why.....?"

"Giles thinks that it's because you sensed what was going on with Willow," she replies, hating every moment of this, much as I am.

"Why, what happened?" I'm almost certain that it has to do with my premonition about Tara, but nothing seems to make sense enough right now for me to tell anyone that.

"Her girlfriend, Tara," answers Cordy as my face grows cold with remorse, "she was killed. Willow totally lost it; she killed the person who shot Tara, and tried to call yet another one of the world-destroying demons we all know and love so much." Cordy's sarcasm held a bitter edge to it, as always, but this time it sounded like she actually sympathized with Willow.

"Is she....?"

"She's alright," answers the ex-cheerleader, speaking with relief in her voice that she wouldn't have had when I first met her. "I don't know how he did it, but Xander talked her down. Buffy says that he's been helping her with pretty much everything except bathing and eating."

I can't help but smirk as she tells me this. They're still joined at the hip, figuratively speaking, of course. As much as I like Xander, I can't help but hate him. The love he shares with Willow is simply amazing, and I hate Xander for it, because I'll never have that bond with her.

I'm completely lost in thought until Cordelia asks, "Oz? Are you OK?"

"Yeah," I answer, burying the turmoil in my heart and my soul. "I think I just need something to eat, is all."

Cordelia looked around, obviously looking to get someone else to make me something. I have to say that I was a bit relieved when the girl left first. Cordy is many things, but a good cook is certainly not one of them.

My makeshift breakfast of toast, milk, and Corn Flakes was joined by formal introductions to Fred (the girl who reminded me of Willow), Gunn (the big guy who was indeed Fred's boyfriend), Lorne (a demon from another world who was very....interesting, to say the least), and Connor (Angel's son, which was a bit of a concept to handle, particularly since Connor is a teenager).

I don't talk much while I eat, but it's a bit hard to talk when you've found out that you went on a deadly werewolf rampage for three weeks because you got some funny feeling that the love of your life had just lost her girlfriend. But for me, it's just another turn of events.

Then it hits me. Like always, the source of my turmoil has been Willow. Even though we finally broke it off that night two years ago, I'm still in love with her. I need to see her again, and I need to either get her back, or get over her. I only wish I knew which one was going to hurt me, and her, less.