"Hey Buffy," replied Xander with a troubled smile as the Slayer let him into her house. "Is Willow here?"

"No," she answered, showing a touch of nervousness as she spoke, much to Xander's puzzlement. "She went out. Shopping. Out shopping. Out shopping for things. By herself, even."

"OK," declared the "normal" Slayerette, certain that something was going on. Shaking aside those concerns, he asked his friend earnestly, "Can we talk?"

"Sure," responded Buffy warmly as she motioned towards the dining room table. Once they were seated, she asked, "So, what's up?" with a wide smile.

"It's about....well, it's Willow."

Buffy's smile quickly faded. "What's happened? Has she...?"

Xander vigorously shook his head no, reassuring her briefly. "No, it's nothing like that. She's doing great. All things considered, of course." Buffy nodded, knowing full well how Willow's grief had been compounded by the intense guilt of attacking both Giles and Anya, to say nothing of the other damage she had done in her mad rage. "It's more of a 'me' thing, really."

"You're scaring me, Xand," she said worriedly. "What is it? What's with 'you'?"

"I'm falling in love with Willow, again," he replied guiltily.

"But you already love her," answered Buffy, not yet catching on. After a moment, it hit her, and the surprise was great indeed. "Oh. Oh, Xander. I....I don't know what....You realize that she's kinda...*gay* now.....don't you?"

"Yes," he said flatly. "Hence the pain and suffering. Why couldn't I have realized this like, oh, five years ago?"

"It's not your fault, Xander," soothed the Slayer. "You took Will for granted; we've all done it at least once."

"But she doesn't love me," he pleaded. "Not like she used to, anyways."

"But she loves you," she reminded him. Attacking the problem from another angle, Buffy said, "You think you've lost your love, Xander. Well, I saw her yesterday, and...." Realizing the silliness of her last comment, she added, "Of course, I see her every day, but that's beside the point. The point is, it's you she's thinking of."

"Buffy," interrupted Xander, "you're almost singing right now, you know that, don't you."

Buffy looked at Xander and scowled, not appreciating his attempt at humor. "That's not funny." Getting back to the main conversation, she said, "Look, Xander, she loves you, even after all of the things that have come between the two of you. She loves you, and you know that can't be bad."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," assured the Slayer, "She loves you, and you know, deep down, you should be glad."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," dismissed Xander, his poor spirits still unshaken.

"You hurt her, Xander," said Buffy. "She almost lost her mind when she found out about you and Cordelia. But she never stopped loving you. She told me that you're not the hurting kind. A little dense, maybe, but certainly not the hurting kind."

"Yeah, that's me," admitted Xander as he allowed a grin to emerge on his face. "So she says she loves me?"

"Uh huh. I haven't heard from her in a while, but I'm pretty sure the statement still holds." Taking his hands in hers, she added, "And with love like that, you know you should be glad."

A hopeful smile grew on Xander's face, and Buffy gave him some advice. "You know it's up to you, Xander. I think it's only fear, myself. Pride can hurt too. Just apologize to her, apologize because she loves you, and you know that can't be bad." Answering the uncertain look on her friend's face, Buffy replied, "Yes, she loves you, and you should be glad."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," answered Xander with false skepticism as he stood up. The two looked at each other for an awkward moment before Xander hugged her furiously, with all of the love that he had for the Slayer. "Thanks, Buff. You really helped."

"See?" she joked. "Maybe death isn't my only gift." Urging on her now puzzled friend, Buffy said, "Go on. Track Willow down and tell her how you feel."

"Yes sir," mocked the Zeppo as he went into a military salute before opening the front door to leave. The color drained out of his face, though, when he saw who was at the door.

***********************************************************************

The door opened on Willow and I before I could open it for her myself. Willow gasped when she saw Xander, and I wasn't surprised. Once he looked at me, I knew that my being with Willow, here, and now, had just sent a dagger through his heart. "Hey, Xander, what's up?" I ask, hoping to ease the pain of the situation. Suffice to say, it failed miserably.

"Oz," was his blank response, followed by an equally blank "Willow."

Willow was immediately worried, asking, "Xander, is everything alright?"

He brushed her off with his fairly nervous reply, looking at me more than her when he said, "No, nothing at all. I was just talking to Buffy, is all. And now I'm done. So, um, bye." As I watched him walk off, and then saw the dismay on Willow's face (to say nothing of the sympathy on Buffy's), I realized that I may have picked the worst time to come back to Sunnydale.