Firestorm II
Chapter 6: Soul Mates
Obi Wan, suspended inside a force field by crackling bolts of blue energy, was slowly turned around and around. The motion was not fast enough to cause him to be physically dizzy, but it was his mind that was swirling. He was concerned for Cassi. In the hours since he'd been imprisoned here by the Geonosians, he had only been visited once and that had been by that traitor, Count Dooku. Obi Wan had asked him where Cassiopeia was and Dooku had replied that she was safe. But that was all of the information Obi Wan could get out of him. He had attempted in vain to use the Force to get a sense from Dooku where she was and the condition she was in, but being a former Jedi, Dooku was able to keep Obi Wan at bay.
Despite everything he'd said to Cassiopeia about caring for her only as a friend, the truth was he loved her more than life itself, he loved her more than he ever thought he could love another being. And it frightened him. But more frightening than his feelings for her was the thought that he could actually lose her. While they both knew that they could not be together because of his commitment to the Jedi Order, they both thought of each other as soul mates. She was the only being in the galaxy that he could run to when he needed comfort or strength. She was the only being in the galaxy that he could truly talk to. And he had done just that often. Over the last ten years, they may not have seen each other or heard each other's voice, but they had personal messaged each other frequently. When he needed advice or just needed to vent about Anakin, he messaged her. When she was frustrated by the politics of the Senators, she messaged him. They understood each other and the responsibilities that each other's life entailed. The bottom line was they, Cassiopeia and Obi Wan, fit together.
Suddenly, the door to his holding area slid open, and Cassiopeia walked through. Elated by the sight of her, Obi Wan smiled broadly. He wished with all his heart he could rush to her and hold her to him, but his bonds prevented any movement other than his head. He saw Cassiopeia smile ruefully, but he didn't take time to wonder about her sadness.
"Hello Ben."
"Cassi, I'm so glad to see you're alright," Obi Wan said. "Did they hurt you at all?"
She shook her head. "No, I'm fine. My shoulder is feeling much better, actually. And you, are you alright?"
"I'm fine, love. I've been so worried about you." Suddenly, he realized that she had come unescorted. "They let you go?" he asked, a bit incredulous.
"No," Cassi lowered her gaze. "Count Dooku agreed to let me see you."
"He did? Why?"
"I need to talk with you, Ben."
"But I don't understand, Cassi, why did Dooku let you come alone? I must say that surprises me, that he would trust you like that."
Cassiopeia met Obi Wan's gaze. "Dooku and I have known each other for a long time. Remember when I told you that I know him well?"
Obi Wan thought for a moment. "Yes but I didn't think that much about it at the time. How long have you known him?"
Cassiopeia paused and lowered her gaze again. She knew this was going to be dreadful. "Since I was 16, when my father was killed. You'll remember that my father uncovered a plot to assassinate the former Queen. He requested help from the Jedi Order and they sent Master Dooku and his padawan. After my father was killed, Dooku took my family under his wing. He handled the majority of the funeral preparations and he took care of us. He reminded me so much of my father, so gentle and kind, and I became a bit infatuated with him." Cassiopeia grinned slightly at the memories. She paused and looked at Obi Wan.
"Your father's death occurred around the time that Dooku left the Order right?" Obi Wan asked.
"Yes, it did. Dooku refused his order from the Council to return to Coruscant after my father's funeral, he felt that his place was with my family and I, but his padawan returned." She paused and took a deep breath. "To make a long story short, Ben, he and I were married a few months after my father's death."
Obi Wan was speechless. He stared at her slack-jawed for a few moments. "What?" he finally managed. "You and Dooku? Married? I don't understand."
"I'm so sorry that I never told you, Ben."
"So are you still married, you've been married this entire time?"
"Yes."
"You were married when you told me you loved me?"
"Technically, yes."
"And you were married when you made love with me?" Obi Wan's voice was filled with anger and he about spat out the words at her.
"Ben," Cassiopeia pleaded, "please listen, please try to understand. Technically yes, we are still married. But you have to realize that I haven't actually been his wife in years. After we were married, he officially left the Order. Then he met some mysterious man that he has never been willing to talk to me about and the two of them hatched these awful plans of total Galaxy domination. That's how I've known what he's planning. Almost overnight, Dooku became a cold, unfeeling, unforgiving man who I didn't know. We had only been married for a year when I asked him to leave. I didn't really love him, Ben. I realize now that I never have. The main reason I married him was because I missed my father so much and he reminded me of him. But I never loved him."
"Then why didn't you ever file for dissolution?"
"I was ashamed," Cassiopeia hung her head. "I would have had to have filed a dissolution with the court and it would have had to have been approved by the Queen. By this time, Padme had been elected Queen. There was no way I wanted her to know about my mistake."
"I don't buy that, Cassi," Obi Wan replied angrily. "You were best friends. According to you, you told each other everything. What's the real reason?"
"That is the real reason, Ben. I know it sounds odd and it doesn't make much sense now in our maturity. But please try to understand, I was young, I was immensely embarrassed and I didn't want anyone to know that I had married Dooku. I still don't."
Obi Wan closed his eyes, breathed in deeply, and worked to calm his emotions. The only other time in his life that he remembered being this angry was when he had watched his Master, Qui Gon, be murdered in front of him. He couldn't explain the betrayal he felt, but not just betrayal, jealousy. Jealous that the woman he loved, the woman he had kissed and touched and made love to was another man's wife. And not just any man, Count Dooku, a defector of the Jedi Order and traitor to the Republic. Obi Wan was seething with anger and it threatened to overtake him. He became angry with himself for letting his emotions rule him like this.
"Ben, I'm so sorry," Cassiopeia all but whispered. "Please, please believe that I never wanted to hurt you. I love you."
"You love me?" Obi Wan asked vehemently. "You don't lie to someone you truly love."
"I never lied to you. I never lied about anything."
Obi Wan scoffed. "Omitting a vital fact is the same thing as lying. You omitted the fact that you were married, therefore you lied to me."
"No, Ben, please, I didn't mean for this to happen."
"So, what was I to you Cassi? Just another notch on your belt?"
"What?" Cassi was shocked and hurt by his words. "No. Not for an instant. I love you, you know that. But more than that, you and I are perfect together, Ben. We are more than just lovers, we are soul mates. We belong together."
"Cassi," Obi Wan whispered, trying to control his anger, "I suggest you leave. Now."
"No, please, we need to talk. I can't leave you like this."
Obi Wan looked directly at her. "The only other time I've ever been this angry was when I watched Maul butcher Qui Gon. You remember what I did to him? I suggest you leave."
Cassiopeia was stunned. She couldn't believe that he would ever actually physically hurt her. Then again, she had never seen him this angry before.
"I'm sorry, Ben, for what it's worth. I never wanted to hurt you. I don't know when we'll see each other again. Please just know that I love you. I love you with all my heart."
"You're nothing to me." Obi Wan looked at her levelly.
Tears filled Cassiopeia's eyes. She turned and fled the holding area without a look back.
Pained and angry with himself for hurting Cassi with his words, having said those words only out of anger, not really meaning them, wishing desperately he could rush after her, hold her in his arms and take it all back, Obi Wan hung his head.
Chapter 6: Soul Mates
Obi Wan, suspended inside a force field by crackling bolts of blue energy, was slowly turned around and around. The motion was not fast enough to cause him to be physically dizzy, but it was his mind that was swirling. He was concerned for Cassi. In the hours since he'd been imprisoned here by the Geonosians, he had only been visited once and that had been by that traitor, Count Dooku. Obi Wan had asked him where Cassiopeia was and Dooku had replied that she was safe. But that was all of the information Obi Wan could get out of him. He had attempted in vain to use the Force to get a sense from Dooku where she was and the condition she was in, but being a former Jedi, Dooku was able to keep Obi Wan at bay.
Despite everything he'd said to Cassiopeia about caring for her only as a friend, the truth was he loved her more than life itself, he loved her more than he ever thought he could love another being. And it frightened him. But more frightening than his feelings for her was the thought that he could actually lose her. While they both knew that they could not be together because of his commitment to the Jedi Order, they both thought of each other as soul mates. She was the only being in the galaxy that he could run to when he needed comfort or strength. She was the only being in the galaxy that he could truly talk to. And he had done just that often. Over the last ten years, they may not have seen each other or heard each other's voice, but they had personal messaged each other frequently. When he needed advice or just needed to vent about Anakin, he messaged her. When she was frustrated by the politics of the Senators, she messaged him. They understood each other and the responsibilities that each other's life entailed. The bottom line was they, Cassiopeia and Obi Wan, fit together.
Suddenly, the door to his holding area slid open, and Cassiopeia walked through. Elated by the sight of her, Obi Wan smiled broadly. He wished with all his heart he could rush to her and hold her to him, but his bonds prevented any movement other than his head. He saw Cassiopeia smile ruefully, but he didn't take time to wonder about her sadness.
"Hello Ben."
"Cassi, I'm so glad to see you're alright," Obi Wan said. "Did they hurt you at all?"
She shook her head. "No, I'm fine. My shoulder is feeling much better, actually. And you, are you alright?"
"I'm fine, love. I've been so worried about you." Suddenly, he realized that she had come unescorted. "They let you go?" he asked, a bit incredulous.
"No," Cassi lowered her gaze. "Count Dooku agreed to let me see you."
"He did? Why?"
"I need to talk with you, Ben."
"But I don't understand, Cassi, why did Dooku let you come alone? I must say that surprises me, that he would trust you like that."
Cassiopeia met Obi Wan's gaze. "Dooku and I have known each other for a long time. Remember when I told you that I know him well?"
Obi Wan thought for a moment. "Yes but I didn't think that much about it at the time. How long have you known him?"
Cassiopeia paused and lowered her gaze again. She knew this was going to be dreadful. "Since I was 16, when my father was killed. You'll remember that my father uncovered a plot to assassinate the former Queen. He requested help from the Jedi Order and they sent Master Dooku and his padawan. After my father was killed, Dooku took my family under his wing. He handled the majority of the funeral preparations and he took care of us. He reminded me so much of my father, so gentle and kind, and I became a bit infatuated with him." Cassiopeia grinned slightly at the memories. She paused and looked at Obi Wan.
"Your father's death occurred around the time that Dooku left the Order right?" Obi Wan asked.
"Yes, it did. Dooku refused his order from the Council to return to Coruscant after my father's funeral, he felt that his place was with my family and I, but his padawan returned." She paused and took a deep breath. "To make a long story short, Ben, he and I were married a few months after my father's death."
Obi Wan was speechless. He stared at her slack-jawed for a few moments. "What?" he finally managed. "You and Dooku? Married? I don't understand."
"I'm so sorry that I never told you, Ben."
"So are you still married, you've been married this entire time?"
"Yes."
"You were married when you told me you loved me?"
"Technically, yes."
"And you were married when you made love with me?" Obi Wan's voice was filled with anger and he about spat out the words at her.
"Ben," Cassiopeia pleaded, "please listen, please try to understand. Technically yes, we are still married. But you have to realize that I haven't actually been his wife in years. After we were married, he officially left the Order. Then he met some mysterious man that he has never been willing to talk to me about and the two of them hatched these awful plans of total Galaxy domination. That's how I've known what he's planning. Almost overnight, Dooku became a cold, unfeeling, unforgiving man who I didn't know. We had only been married for a year when I asked him to leave. I didn't really love him, Ben. I realize now that I never have. The main reason I married him was because I missed my father so much and he reminded me of him. But I never loved him."
"Then why didn't you ever file for dissolution?"
"I was ashamed," Cassiopeia hung her head. "I would have had to have filed a dissolution with the court and it would have had to have been approved by the Queen. By this time, Padme had been elected Queen. There was no way I wanted her to know about my mistake."
"I don't buy that, Cassi," Obi Wan replied angrily. "You were best friends. According to you, you told each other everything. What's the real reason?"
"That is the real reason, Ben. I know it sounds odd and it doesn't make much sense now in our maturity. But please try to understand, I was young, I was immensely embarrassed and I didn't want anyone to know that I had married Dooku. I still don't."
Obi Wan closed his eyes, breathed in deeply, and worked to calm his emotions. The only other time in his life that he remembered being this angry was when he had watched his Master, Qui Gon, be murdered in front of him. He couldn't explain the betrayal he felt, but not just betrayal, jealousy. Jealous that the woman he loved, the woman he had kissed and touched and made love to was another man's wife. And not just any man, Count Dooku, a defector of the Jedi Order and traitor to the Republic. Obi Wan was seething with anger and it threatened to overtake him. He became angry with himself for letting his emotions rule him like this.
"Ben, I'm so sorry," Cassiopeia all but whispered. "Please, please believe that I never wanted to hurt you. I love you."
"You love me?" Obi Wan asked vehemently. "You don't lie to someone you truly love."
"I never lied to you. I never lied about anything."
Obi Wan scoffed. "Omitting a vital fact is the same thing as lying. You omitted the fact that you were married, therefore you lied to me."
"No, Ben, please, I didn't mean for this to happen."
"So, what was I to you Cassi? Just another notch on your belt?"
"What?" Cassi was shocked and hurt by his words. "No. Not for an instant. I love you, you know that. But more than that, you and I are perfect together, Ben. We are more than just lovers, we are soul mates. We belong together."
"Cassi," Obi Wan whispered, trying to control his anger, "I suggest you leave. Now."
"No, please, we need to talk. I can't leave you like this."
Obi Wan looked directly at her. "The only other time I've ever been this angry was when I watched Maul butcher Qui Gon. You remember what I did to him? I suggest you leave."
Cassiopeia was stunned. She couldn't believe that he would ever actually physically hurt her. Then again, she had never seen him this angry before.
"I'm sorry, Ben, for what it's worth. I never wanted to hurt you. I don't know when we'll see each other again. Please just know that I love you. I love you with all my heart."
"You're nothing to me." Obi Wan looked at her levelly.
Tears filled Cassiopeia's eyes. She turned and fled the holding area without a look back.
Pained and angry with himself for hurting Cassi with his words, having said those words only out of anger, not really meaning them, wishing desperately he could rush after her, hold her in his arms and take it all back, Obi Wan hung his head.