If there's anything that's been awkward for me since coming back to Sunnydale, it's rejoining the Scooby Gang. Okay, so there's also that love triangle I'm in with Willow and Xander, but that's just part of the fun of becoming a Scooby again.
It's not like everyone has it out for me. Buffy, despite her opinion on the love triangle thing, happily welcomed me back into the fold. Dawn was pretty happy, too, but she always worshiped the ground I walked on (although nowhere near as much as with Xander and Cordelia). And Willow.....
Willow's not a Scooby anymore. Buffy and Dawn won't say it, but the message is clear: Willow isn't a part of the Scoobies anymore, at least not in their minds. I haven't heard the specifics, but it seems that Willow managed to thoroughly burn some bridges between herself and Buffy and Dawn while she was on her Psycho Will kick. It's nothing specific, or even conscious, but I can tell it when it comes time for us to go on patrol. Their scent changes, and they freeze up ever so slightly without realizing it. Apparently, they can love her, but they can't trust her with their lives.
Xander's a different story altogether. He loves her, eight days a week. Apparently, Xander still has issues with the whole concept of reality thing.
I'm not bitter or anything. (Well, not much.) You'd think that Cordelia or this Anya girl he used to be with (who seriously has to be the strangest woman I've ever met in my life) never even existed, because it's all about Willow with him, and making things right for her.
And that's where the eight days a week concept comes in.
For some reason, Xander needs more than the standard seven days to be devoted to Willow. I'm not even sure that eight is enough, to be honest.
Buffy tells me that Xander used this whole "yellow crayon" speech to get Willow to not destroy the world. And it obviously worked, since hey, there's still a world and everything.
I can't be surprised at that, just because it's how things are between them. I've been getting Willow Time, and so has he, but I keep thinking that Xander's Willow Time is so much better than mine just because he tries to cram that extra day or so of loving into the seven he actually gets.
Right now, Willow's with Xander, covering their part of the cemetery on the nightly Scooby Gang Patrol Fun Session with his eyes that beg for her to hold him, to love him. It's not my choice, but Buffy and Dawn still have that trust thing that Xander doesn't.
Not that I mind patrolling with Buffy and Dawn or anything. Granted, my memories of her are all fake, what with the Key thing and all, but she's still a joy to be around. Plus, she's a lot like Willow, especially since she's actually getting to go on patrol now. Calling her a spaz would be a gross understatement of the word "spaz".
Just like Willow.
Then there's Buffy. We get a lot of comfortable (and uncomfortable) silences while Dawn is off bouncing around through the graves like a rubber ball, but I'm also getting to know her, really know her, for the first time. It's amazing just how self-depreciating Buffy is, despite balancing so many responsibilities on her shoulders all at once. She's even more of a duck than Willow, because she's paddling even harder below the surface, all while taking it in perfect stride, with nothing more than a stake and a witty remark.
She's explained to me why she wants Willow and Xander to be together, and why she wanted Xander to marry Anya, and even for me to be with Willow, way back when: they all represent the "normal" relationships she can't have as the Slayer. Buffy has to shut herself in, because she might die any day, just like that. She doesn't want to hurt anyone who can't deal with that, so that's why she spends her time with guys like Angel and Spike instead of guys like Riley. And since my guy version of PMS involves me turning into a snarling werewolf, I can sort of relate to that, and a part of me wishes I could be that normal guy for her.
But, I love Willow.
And so does Xander. Eight days a week.