Chapter 15 – A clean break

     Erm… I just wanted to say that I have no intention of offending anyone with my vocabulary… so in case any of my words touched a sore spot, I offer my greatest regrets and apologies… On to the story…

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    My hands shake controllably as I hold the can of soda in my hands… like that of a junkie going under cold turkey treatment.

    How do I tell her this in a way that hurts her less? I asked myself, squeezing the can without realising it. The can groans with a crackling sound in protest of my rough handling of it, and some of its cold contents spilt over to my hand. I let out a soft curse, and quickly put it down on the desk. Mercifully, it stayed put there without embarrassing me further. Like falling down on its side and spilling all over the desk.

    You stupid can… I was relying on you to calm me, and my nerves, but now you only cause me to make a fool of myself!

    It stared blatantly, mockingly even, right back at me in the eye. This was such a mistake…

     "Zell, what do you have to say to me?" Yuri asked, barely concealing her laughter.

    I had asked Yuri to come to my dorm, saying that I had something important to tell her. She looked at me in puzzlement when I declined her invitation to the cafeteria for some grub, and instead suggested that we meet at my dorm instead. She agreed immediately, however… She was always agreeable, and rarely raised any objections at anything I do… even if I wasn't always right, or even if it had made her feel bad.

    C'mon, my hands! Stop shaking like that! Get over with it, NOW! If you're the man you proclaim yourself to be, this should be a piece of cake to you, Dintch!

    I steeled myself, and opened my mouth with great difficulty. Turns out I wasn't the man I had thought myself to be, after all…

    "Y…Yuri…" I began.

     "I think I can guess what it is, Zell. I've been expecting you to come and tell me for ages, but you never did…" Yuri looked down, her voice kinda shaky like my hands were.

    "Y…You do? You have?"

    Was I that obvious? I couldn't help asking myself.

   If not, how could she have known what I was going to say?

     "Sure I did." She looked up after some time.

    She's such a sweet, brave girl. I hate to hurt her like this… but it is the best way I can think of to end this entangled mess once and for all… with minimal damage done.

     "I've known for quite some time now… that there's someone else in your heart. Even though you were always so good to me, I could still sense that your mind was miles away whenever you're with me…" She said softly, blinking her reddening eyes rapidly.

     "I... I'm s…" I started to apologise, even though I knew that it wouldn't make any difference anyway…

     "No… don't apologise to me, Zell! I should be the one who does that. I knew that your heart no longer holds a place for me in it, but I still couldn't find it in myself to let go. I clung on for too long, too tightly… I'm sorry… Zell… I really am!" She let her head lower for a while, her body shivering with a burden too heavy for her slight frame.

    "But Zell… I know that now I can finally let go… It's hard, but I will strive to find my strength to survive this, somehow. Please let me be the one to initiate the break. At least, it would give me some degree of comfort, however small it might be…" She looked up and smiled with diamonds lighting up her eyes.

    Never have I found tears to be so pretty on a girl.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm not changing hearts again. But that was just an honest compliment from the bottom of my heart.

     "I think it's better that we don't remain as steadies any longer. But we're still friends, okay?" She said, wiping at her eyes with her fingers. "Oh look… I've made a fool of myself in front of you, like so many times before… where was all the self-control?"

    An enormous weight hangs on my heart as I watch her trying to laugh away the tears, but only succeeded to aggravate them further…

     "Can I have one last hug, please?" She looked up at me pleadingly.

    Without a word, I gather her into my arms and press her head to my chest.

    Muffled thanks came from her as she wrapped her thin white arms around my back.

    Minutes ticked by as we held on to each other in such a manner… I couldn't bear to break myself away from it… she felt like a porcelain doll in my arms, as if she would break into a million pieces if I let go of her…

     "That's enough. I'm okay now!" She finally pushes me away, reluctance intensely showing in her eyes.

     "Yuri… I know that this offers scant consolation, but please know that I have loved you once with everything I had, even though it did not last long enough. I wouldn't have become your boyfriend if I didn't." I too, had something flowing from my eyes, but didn't feel like wiping them away.

     "That means a lot to me, Zell. Now I can believe that ours wasn't a one-sided affair… it'll be precious knowledge to me, that you had belonged to me once too!"

     "I hope you get someone who deserves you more, not a heartless cad like me!" I grasped her hands, putting as much sincerity in my voice as I possibly could muster. And I hoped it sounds that way too.

     "You're not a heartless cad, Zell. I have to realise sooner or later that people change, and it is not possible for our feelings to remain the same. Who knows, I might have been the one who falls for someone else instead, if you didn't. That's life. It is full of changes, and this is an invaluable lesson to be learned. I don't blame you, nor do I blame the one you love at all."

     "You're too good to be true, Yuri!"

     "I relinquish the dream of eternal love

      Only to cherish the gift of owning your heart once.

      That was a line from a Hong Kong movie I had watched when I was younger. I had thought it to be so romantic then. But it is only now that I fully realise it's meaning…" She said with a dreamy, forlorn expression.

     "Yuri…"

     "Bye, Zell. When I walk out of here today, we will no longer be lovers. But we are still friends, Okay?"

     I nodded painfully.

    And with that, she walked out of my dorm door, and out of the place she had once held in my heart as a lover for a short, yet important period of time.

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    The sense of loss fully hits me in the head… at this very appropriate time, not to mention place. I bury my face in my arms that were resting on the table in front of me, crying like a little boy, not caring that several pairs of eyes had been staring at me. I had no idea how I had gotten here at all; simply letting my feet carry me to wherever it wishes to go.

    Why am I crying so hard when I was the one who caused the break?

    I suppose that was a question I would never know the answer to, like the many others that hung around.

    A hand clamps me heavily on my left shoulder.

     "Hey, Chicken-wuss! Orders from the ex-Head of the disciplinary committee - You're hauled in for detention as punishment for crying in public!"

    I looked up and turned my head round, snivelling and all.

    Squall, Irvine, and of course the loud-mouthed Seifer stood there grinning ear-to-ear as if they were sharing some hilarious joke. Well, Squall just kinda had his mouth turned up at the corners, which classifies as a grin anyway.

     "Mind if we join you?" Irvine asked, tilting his cowboy hat a little.

     "Sure…" I gestured listlessly at the empty seats around me.

    They took their seats, Seifer on my right, Irvine on my left, and Squall in front.

     "So… we heard about what happened." Squall began. Which was a surprise to me… as he rarely meddles in "other people's business", as he calls it.

    I must have really misbehaved to warrant his attention on my personal matters then… so much so that he couldn't let it go uncorrected.

     "And you've come to preach to me about how bad it is to step on two boats at one time, haven't you? And scold me for misleading Yuri while going on with Celestine behind her back? Go ahead, I deserve it… I'm all ears."

     " 'You're a heartless cad!" That what you expecting from us? You're in for a big disappointment, Chicken-wuss!" Seifer slapped me on the back with such force that one would have thought that he was trying to dislodge something stuck in my throat.

     "You ain't?" I looked up with a huge "WHY?" on my face.

     "Hey, these things happen, more often than you know. It's inevitable, especially in a fickle world such as ours. Take it from me; I've had a lot of experience, being both at the receiving and giving ends!" Irvine said with an encouraging grin.

     "If it means anything… I think that you did the best you could. It's okay let go." Squall said with a little smile.

    Wow… boy was I honoured.

     "Coming from you, that's the greatest kind of reassurance I can ever get!" I finally broke into one of my classic grins. It's been long… but it appeared… but it's been long… but it's appeared.

    (I'm starting to sound like Harry from "Third Rock from the Sun"… you know the one… "It's rare… but it happens… but it's rare… but it happens…" Except I can't get the hilarious look.)

     "That's the spirit!" Irvine laughed.

     "Hey, Chicken-wuss! Where's your blue-haired Angel, Celestine?"

     "I'm eager to meet her as well! What a girl it must take to ensnare our Zell with her charm!"

     "She wouldn't take a second look at you, if that's what yer thinkin'! Hahahaha!" I smirked at an indignant-looking Irvine.

     "Why you…" He started, only to be interrupted abruptly.

     "You haven't answered MY question, Chicken-wuss!" Seifer interjected.

    "Oh yeah… she had some business with her m… I mean the Great Mother."

     "Okay…" He nodded, a pensive look on his face.

    I decided not to press for a reason for that look on his face, strange though it seemed to me. He was entitled to his secrets, as I was to mine.

     "So when's she coming?" Squall asked.

    Even he was interested in her as well?

    We stared at him like he was an exhibit in the "Weirdest Events in the World" fair.

    He blushed a bright red immediately upon our scrutiny.

     "I'm just curious like them!"

     "Okay!" I laughed loudly. "She'll probably be back by the end of this week!"
     "Aww… you missin' her, Chicken-wuss?" Seifer teased sardonically with a raised eyebrow.

     "As much as I miss my HOTDOGS! Here I come!!" I gobbled the food in front of me and stuffed my mouth full with my most favourite thing in the World… second to Celestine, that is…

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    The Final Intermission…

    Z: I WIN! YES!!! (Throws the PS2 controller onto the ground triumphantly.) I get all those rare cards, don't I? Gimme the cards gimme the cards!!

    WL: Gladly… I don't have a use for them anymore. (Spreads them out on the bed they're sitting on… which happens to be hers.)

    Z: Why not? (Collects them gleefully. Yes, even the infamous "Queen-of-Cheaters" Water Lily card belongs to him now.)

    WL: Because this will be the last time I'm seeing you.

    Z: What? (Drops all of them onto his lap.) Why?

    WL: Because the story's gonna end soon.

    Z: Why, in the first place, did you play the Triple Triad game with Celestine then, only to let me win all of them? And don't think I didn't noticed… you deliberately let me win at the game as well!

    WL: Simply because you're my favourite character in FFVIII.

    Z: And?

    WL: Because you're so terribly cute.

    Z: That's all?

    WL: What else? I don't believe in the Pre-Marital S thingy… if that's what you're trying to ask!

     (Thinks to herself) And because I don't want to be murdered by your legions of fans; I don't want to get a heart attack if we were really going to do it… like I most certainly would… so many reasons… and none of them is the correct one. I don't feel like saying the correct one.

    Wahahahahahahaha!!! Why, are you disappointed?

    Z: N…no! Of course not! Why should I be?

    WL: Never mind… Anyway… don't forget about Celestine.

    Zell's eyes brightened.

    Z: Now that you mention it…

    WL: (Buzzes a button, which is actually a remote control for the door. It opens immediately, and Celestine falls onto the floor of the room.) You can have him.

    C: REALLY?!!!

    Water Lily nods.

    C: Zell Zell~~~!!! (Gives him a come-hither look)

    WL: You can use this room. Bye.

    And she vanishes from their sight.

    WL :Goodbye… at least, for this story.

   Author says:

    Shootin'star! Where's that black reviewing presence of yours? Didn't I say I'd rather you continue doing it? I guess you got bored… oh well. Reviews… I need them reviews!!

    Just to clear a few things up… I do not own "Third Rock from the Sun" or any of its cast, its script, its ideas and its lines, which is regrettable since the show is one of the funniest ever, in my humble opinion. By the way, Harry is a character from TRFTS, but I guess you would know that. I borrowed that line for my own entertainment purposes, not to pass it off as my own.

    And of course, I do not own any rights to PS2… I don't even own one of them consoles, even though it has become an absolute necessity now if I want to continue playing the FF games… like learning the Japanese language is one as well. Well, I guess that's all for the horrid disclaimers.

    Don't go away. "Return to me" will be right back before you can say "Angel Land!"