"We're not addicted! We can stop writing songfics any time we want to..." – Rapunzel and M.E.
This was once, yea many moons ago, a songfic to the song of the same name by by Liz Phair, from the CD whitechocolatespaceegg. However, it has since had its lyrics removed in order to conform to Freakiness. GW is not mine in any way what-so-ever.
Yaoi (1x2), R+1, original character, after EW.
by M.E.
I see him almost every day, but I'm not making any progress. Each day I push at him, trying harder and harder to get under his skin, to understand him. More than anything, I want to be something that he needs.
But, the thing is that it just doesn't seem to be working. Sometimes he walks right past me without even noticing that I'm there. It's like I'm just a ghost to him, something that he will never be capable of seeing, or maybe sees, and takes as an offense.
So every day, I leave work, even more depressed, and in desperate need of a hug and some friendly advice. And even more in need of a drink.
It's a good thing that I found Henry's Place, or else I might have never gotten what I wanted. I've heard about people talking to bartenders about their problems, but it was probably the first time I'd ever found someone who was qualified to reply.
See, the thing is that Henry used to be a psychiatrist, but for some reason that didn't agree with him. He says it was all the books and technical stuff, but I think he thought it was too structured. So he quit that and used all the money he made from listening to people on couches to start a bar. I go there almost every day.
And every day I talk about the same thing with him. Heero.
He tells me that I need to let him go, that he might just not be the guy for me. Says that I should be grateful for just being alive after the war, not upset about one guy not liking me.
"See, the way that I see it, it seems like you feel you have to have someone famous to help you stand out," he tells me, referring to the recent popularity the ex-Gundam pilots have received. "There are probably plenty of other guys out there who would jump at a chance with you, if you just opened up your eyes to it."
And usually he leaves it at that, but sometimes...
Sometimes he goes on. Tells me that I'm just a pretty rich girl who wants everything to be laid out perfectly for me. Stamped out and perfect like one of those antique Barbie dolls. Plastic and fake.
On those days I fly out of there, trying to escape, tears streaming from my eyes, feeling absolutely ashamed. Because I know what he says is the truth, and it hurts me so much that I can't even stand the sight of him.
But I keep coming back. I just can't seem to stay away.
Then there came the day that Heero came into my office and walked straight to my desk, and slapped down an envelope on my desk. For a moment I just stared at it, unsure of what to think.
I picked it up and studied it, then finally turned to him. "What is it?" I asked.
He grunted, and turned his head away slightly. If it had been anyone else, I would have sworn that he was blushing slightly. "It... it's an invitation," he said.
"For what?"
"I... Next week is our anniversary. Duo and I. He wanted to have a party. You're invited."
"Oh... Oh! I... I didn't even know you two were–"
He cuts me off, "I know."
I didn't even bother to wait until the end of the day. The moment he left the room I was racing down the hall, out the door, determined to find someone to understand me.
I ended up with Henry, leaning on the counter and crying my eyes out, asking why there had to be people like that... People who never get a clue until it's too late, who never see it until it's slapped in their face at full force.
He patted my hand and gave me a hug and a drink, the whole time looking at me with this steady look in his eyes, as if daring me to see something.
And then, I saw it. I had just described myself, not Heero, as I had thought.
Then he told me something I'll never forget. He took both my hands, caught my eyes with his, then launched right in. "Relena... princess... you have to stop pushing yourself. You're what? Nineteen? Twenty? You have so much to live for still, so much that you can do with yourself, so much that you can accomplish. Your dream guy is gay– so what? That doesn't you should run away and try to keep from seeing it. It won't help you trust me. You don't need to be in a relationship to have a happy life."
"There... there are other fish in the sea," I said quietly, choking it out between sobs, trying desperately to smile at him, to show him that I understood. He handed me a box of tissues and I immediately started pulling them out, blowing my nose and wiping my eyes.
"Exactly."
Then I looked up at Henry, and for the first time ever, I saw him. Really saw him. In my chest, my heart did a flip-flop, then started beating again. Maybe... maybe plastic wasn't perfect after all.
I've been a bad girl... I haven't been writing or drawing or anything. I can't help myself, I just reading Harry Potter fanfics...