Chapter 6: Family DisFUNction
Actor, Jake, and Bobby stood on a street corner talking.
What? I thought they were in his ears!
Me too, but…
I know, I know. This is The Great Portable Fanfic, go with it.
I blinked, but decided not to ponder it. I was late for lunch with my "family", which I interpreted as everyone genetically related to me.
I've got a bad feeling.
You SO aren't the only one.
"Mom, Dad, Jean, Magneto, Aunt Julie, Aunt Jenny, Uncle Archie, Sam, Kaytie, Kaylee the Vampire Cheerleader, sorry I'm late," I apologized entering the restaurant.
"It's okay."
"Hi Kels."
"Kesy!"
"Try to be more prompt in the future," Magneto advised.
"Who died and made you Stefan?" I wondered. "Why are we at a pizza place?"
"It's dark," my cousin observed.
"And the garlic isn't a problem?" I inquired.
"Kel-sey! That is SUCH an urban legend!" Kaylee the Vampire Cheerleader chided me.
"Sorry. Can we eat now? And then can I go back to school?" I hoped.
Whoa. Never thought I'd live to see the day.
No kidding.
"Can I ask you all a question?" I asked as we chowed down on pineapple pizza.
"Of course," my Aunt Julie consented.
"Have you noticed anything… weird about today?" I inquired. Jean caught my eye and shook her head.
'We'll talk later' she mouthed.
"Well, I guess this reunion is kind of unusual," Aunt Jenny admitted.
Yeah, especially since you're dead.
Be nice.
I wasn't being mean. I was simply stating a fact. Jenny Callender is dead.
Fine.
"No it's not," Mom protested indignantly. "It's perfectly normal to go to a foregin country to meet up with my family, ex-husband, and ex-brother-in-law."
"Not to mention Kelsey's other parents," my father observed.
Wait just a sec. Does this mean Scott's our step-dad? Is it wrong to have a crush on your step-father?
Probably. But I'm not sure Scott's our step-father. He's with ear-girl now, remember?
Eeew! Point.
"They have a right to want to be involved in our daughter's life," my mother defended.
"It makes sense to me Aunt 'Net," Kaylee the Vampire Cheerleader piped up.
And that will make us all rest easy.
Why are you being so snippy?
Just read.
I studied my pizza intently.
"Oh!" Aunt Jenny exclaimed, "class is about to start. Coming Archie?"
"Sure," my uncle agreed. "Come on Kelsey we'll give you a ride."
I got up eagerly, "Thanks guys. See the rest of you later."
Actor, Jake, and Bobby stood on a street corner talking.
What? I thought they were in his ears!
Me too, but…
I know, I know. This is The Great Portable Fanfic, go with it.
I blinked, but decided not to ponder it. I was late for lunch with my "family", which I interpreted as everyone genetically related to me.
I've got a bad feeling.
You SO aren't the only one.
"Mom, Dad, Jean, Magneto, Aunt Julie, Aunt Jenny, Uncle Archie, Sam, Kaytie, Kaylee the Vampire Cheerleader, sorry I'm late," I apologized entering the restaurant.
"It's okay."
"Hi Kels."
"Kesy!"
"Try to be more prompt in the future," Magneto advised.
"Who died and made you Stefan?" I wondered. "Why are we at a pizza place?"
"It's dark," my cousin observed.
"And the garlic isn't a problem?" I inquired.
"Kel-sey! That is SUCH an urban legend!" Kaylee the Vampire Cheerleader chided me.
"Sorry. Can we eat now? And then can I go back to school?" I hoped.
Whoa. Never thought I'd live to see the day.
No kidding.
"Can I ask you all a question?" I asked as we chowed down on pineapple pizza.
"Of course," my Aunt Julie consented.
"Have you noticed anything… weird about today?" I inquired. Jean caught my eye and shook her head.
'We'll talk later' she mouthed.
"Well, I guess this reunion is kind of unusual," Aunt Jenny admitted.
Yeah, especially since you're dead.
Be nice.
I wasn't being mean. I was simply stating a fact. Jenny Callender is dead.
Fine.
"No it's not," Mom protested indignantly. "It's perfectly normal to go to a foregin country to meet up with my family, ex-husband, and ex-brother-in-law."
"Not to mention Kelsey's other parents," my father observed.
Wait just a sec. Does this mean Scott's our step-dad? Is it wrong to have a crush on your step-father?
Probably. But I'm not sure Scott's our step-father. He's with ear-girl now, remember?
Eeew! Point.
"They have a right to want to be involved in our daughter's life," my mother defended.
"It makes sense to me Aunt 'Net," Kaylee the Vampire Cheerleader piped up.
And that will make us all rest easy.
Why are you being so snippy?
Just read.
I studied my pizza intently.
"Oh!" Aunt Jenny exclaimed, "class is about to start. Coming Archie?"
"Sure," my uncle agreed. "Come on Kelsey we'll give you a ride."
I got up eagerly, "Thanks guys. See the rest of you later."