Began and planned to be a response o the First Time I Saw Your Face challenge. Things didn't work in that direction though.
Not mine. There plain and simply stated.
"I hate children. I am still to meet one that I have had some manageable kind option of. Even those who are occupied in my house at school are not an expedition from that sentiment."
"And why do you think that is Severus?" I also hate that three lettered word, I never understood nor do I wish waste my time considering the reasons so many people insist on knowing why something is the way it is. Leave, I should leave. Want to leave without any explanation of the reasonings. I can't. I promised her I would try to work out this little problem of mine and soon to be ours.
"I hate most adults as well so one can not accuse me of me unjust bigotry when I say I hate children. The reason is because children are uncontrollable, messy, rude, require too much attention, shall I stop or do you wish to hear more?" I ask of the man leaning back in his chair feet resting on the edge of an oak finish desk, most unprofessional. Alas what is to be expected of a psychiatrist who is hired with in and for the rightfully shameful ministry?
"There must at least one pleasant moment that you can recall that involve the young in some way. Your childhood you certainly had to have had a few grand times of remembrance as a youth."
"There isn't. If being neglected for all but a tiny fraction of ones growing up is concerned a grand time growing up, than yes it was absolutely bliss for me." I watch doctor whatever the hell he introduced himself as go over the past few words I had said. Searching for the best route to further obliviate some hard pressing reasons of his why question before.
"Why than did you and your wife plan of having a family?" He speaks at last in one the scenarios I had imaged might be persuaded.
"I didn't, neither of us did. I trust you have heard the saying accidents happen? This is the biggest accident one can have presented to them. Hermione decided to keep the pregnancy going and rather quickly entered mother to be mood."
"Did you wish for the pregnancy to be ended?" Now I detected that question from 2 miles away.
"I left everything to her decision and wants. Ulimentally I assumed since it was my child inside of her I would also enter the anxious father to be framed thinking. But to answer your question yes I did." I have trouble convincing myself this room I am in is real and I am actual confessing my soul to this poor excuse of a doctor. Hermione made me the damn appointment insisting upon the fact if I refused to try to work out my issues she would leave me. Now as I think about it perhaps that would be the best situation. No that's an unjust thing to consider.
"Has that feeling subsided Severus?" Oh Lord help me.
"Obviously not since I am here "seeking" out reasons for animosity. Not once have thought about the joy a child could bring my life, my mind is still focused on those negative attributes I listed for you before."
"Your wife is quite a bit younger than you is she not?" Time for the customary Professor Snape attuide to brought out into the open.
"Not that much younger tell me what our ages have to do with my unbreakable hatred towards children!?" I hiss at the man who to my momentarily joy is played out as he looks up nervously and almost ashamed. Outside the closed door, just a slight reach away to freedom I dected the sound of rushing footsteps.
"Well perhaps you are –" His words are stopped when those footsteps seize their rushing and hastily forces the door open. A middle aged witch my age or roundabouts I would declare stands their trying to quickly reteach herself the proper way in inhale and exhale air.
"Severus Snape?" She asks me with curiosity.
"Yes?"
"I was told to inform your wife was just rushed to St. Mangos emergency center." Wife emergency race throughout my head two words I never wanted or want to have presented together again.
"What happened!?" I scream while jumping out of the armchair my quicken paces towards her causing the messenger to fleet back in terror.
"Sir I was not informed of any of the details. I hope everything works out." She finishes and races away from me down the long hallway. Everyone flees from me.
"Floo powder! May I borrow some?" I asked the shrink before the question was even in completation a silver canister of the ash like substance is presented in front of me. Taking a fingers pinch as I step into the fireplace, I nod thanks to the giver of the transportation as he returns a look of sympathy.
"St. Mangos!" I call out and feel myself being hurled away. I laid must ungracefully disgustly covered in soot. The entrance is quite crowed with people seeking either medical attention or waiting for those who are. Scanning the faces of the crowd I see a few people known to me from various places, none of them her. Rudely pushing my way through people including a man standing with the aid of crushes I arrive at the admittance counter.
"Hermione Snape where can I find her?" The nurse looks away from me as she shuffles through papers gathered on what I assume is a desk but with the clutter is hard to be sure.
"She was brought to room 331. If you wish you may go up to –" Without waiting for the offer to put together as a full sentence I sprint towards the stair case off to the far wall. Taking the steps four at a time, an occusation or two almost falling down I reach the third floor. My eyes located the sign indicating which rooms run left and which ones go left; 31 is left. I am presented to a closed door with no viewing windows like a few other doors had. My heartbeat has yet to slow down since the message was delivered for me; I turn the knob slowly.
"Hermione?" I ask the lying figure on the bed, unsure if she is in fact my wife or not. At my voice I am reassured that it is as she sits up slightly and with unease.
"Mrs. Snape I told you that you mustn't move around any." I startle a bit at the mans voice of someone I had failed to notice upon my entrance. Hermione nods shifting back down into the bed, her eyes dead with tiredness.
"What happened?" I ask to anyone willing to provide me the answer as I make my way to her side. In just those few steps she has fallen asleep.
"Your wife went to premature labor this afternoon Severus." What I assume had to be the doctor begins to answer my question. To my horror my eyes lie upon a much flatter stomach than I was greeted with when leaving the house earlier today. No God no it's too soon.
"The baby?" I say in a whisper.
"Is small, weak, in need of and receiving urgent care as we speak. Yes it survived." He tells me with what I can't quite call a smile.
"And Hermione?"
"Had a pretty rough labor, she will be admitted here for a few days to reassure she receive all the attention she is in need of." I find myself only able to nod as I run my head over her sweat-damped forehead. I should of taken better care of her, helped more, instead of bickering over the pain a baby would present for us. Uncommon tears rise to the corners of my eyes.
"Severus come I will take you to see the baby. It is best she rest now." Torn between newfound duty as father and older duty of husband, I nod at the doctor's words slowly leaving the bedside. Yes she needs sleep, there is nothing I can do from this spot. Wordlessly I follow the elderly wizard out of the room and down the hall. My thoughts hammering in and out at random. The nursery isn't finished yet. We never reached a decision on what name to use. Realization occurs to me as I know if the arrival with on the scheduled estimate of two months from I would be panicking over the same things still.
"Over there." I am pointed towards the direction from inside a room I have no memory of stepping into of a small bassinet placed in the center of the room. With a fear of annixousty similar to one I would feel when greeting the Dark Lord I make my way towards it. The few nurses around smile gently and wordlessly encourage me to keep on moving. I am not ready for this. I can't be a father. My issues have not been cured.
Glancing downwards I am greeted by a baby smaller than one should be a few wires running into and around the body. Than the feeling Hermione had hoped for me, and I for myself hits me like a bludger to the gut. My child. I have a child. Those words never seemed to be so sweet and emotional. I still have to say I hate children, all but one.