The dawn shines, sun rising in it's hazy beauty, powerful and magnificent. The world has changed, but Arien's task is still burning on, bringing light to Aman and Arda.

I have seen, lived, breathed this history, choosing to endure due to this precious shadow, my will for redemption. My empire has grown under unwavering dreams, my path to perceived salvation. I have shaped this world, my greatness, the power in my veins keeping my mind focused and my people mighty.

The balustrade casts shadows on my suit, for Laurelin's fruit starts it's journey once more. Blinking, I turn down the hallway, my heels soundless on the marble as I enter the dining room. Lifting an apple, I return to my vigil on the terrace.

The news scares me. Men making wondrous discoveries has always led to some gory outbreak of their lack of control. At least my crusade is one of redemption, although many have died who came in my way. These deaths weigh on my mind, drearily wearing away my soul.

Many years have passed; my moods are still unstable. That twinge of fear returns as thoughts drift over possibilities of such circumstances. The report hit too close, but the picture will focus in time. I just hope it won't be too late…

I remember hearing Maedhros' plea to Eonwe, begging for the remaining blood-soaked jewels, wishing to end the oath and be free. For seconds, I saw freedom, but I knew it would not come then. My emotions are always tainted, but I wished for it, desperately. Their desperation led to thievery, an act I couldn't stop, and then the precious gems were lost- one to the Earth, one to the sea. Maglor still roams, mindless to this day, and I have lost the heart to send him back.

This shadow remains; I cannot push the bile down. I sweat at the thought of mortal hands marring Ada's awesome works. Can no memory of his greatness remain pure? Even in my mind his remembrance is sullied, my burning hell consumes such thoughts.

But what if these nagging rumors are true? Do I choose to be entrapped by this curse, or do I simply want to end it? What great badness will my path bring to me, or to those I love?

Lara clears her throat from in the hallway, grabbing my mind from slipping into that chasm.

" I'm making burritos." She notices I'm sweating.

"I've already eaten." Brandish the apple core.

" That's nice. Contemplating the fate of the universe, I suppose?"

She ducks as I chunk the remainder of the fruit at her, my mood sparks and I storm my way to the kitchen.

" Well? Were you?" She laughs lightly as she paces my speed.

"Shut up."

" Just because you're wiser than dirt doesn't mean you can't take a joke. Sheesh. I'm dying here."

" Thank you for that. When you've finished burning the breakfast, we have work to do."

"They don't even know what they are. How could something happen? Why don't you just leave this alone?"

" Because someone could tell them. They've used knowledge for evil before, I cannot take that chance."

" You are not bound to that fate. Your brothers' and father weren't either, so why don't you shut up and go home?"

"I can't return without the ones that were lost. I will never be able to face my people without shame. I felt fine before, when I knew their light blessed Arda and the Sea…but this has cast blackness upon me, uneasiness I cannot quell with words. My thoughts can't fathom a reply- reason has left, and I know I must find if it's true or not. Besides, why would Ulmo allow a man to retrieve the jewel from his domain if there were no purpose?"

" maybe the silmarils belong to the mortal race now."

" but then why would Varda have blessed them otherwise in the time of their creation? Noble Beren held one, but that was fate, and I never contested that."

" What makes you believe this is any different?"

" Because Radnal is behind the operation. He signed off on everything, and the remaining X-5's are supervising every move."

" Shit…"

" If, maybe by chance, it was some other organization that I knew was operated by reasonableness, I would not object so easily. But I doubt seriously the fate of my father's blessed works lies with this man and the treachery of his heart. No- I believe these events signify what the Valar have chosen for me- either to die, rescuing the lost from this new evil, or retrieve them safely and return to Aman. This my be my chance to go home, and finally live the life I should have had all this time."

" Revenge? Time lost can never be reclaimed. How can you still cling to this…this goddam oath crap? You never too it, were never bound to it-"

" I am, Lara. I will always be, never will it cease to bind my heart until I have passed to Aman or am slain. But I am banned from the privilege of sailing the straight path…" My mind was losing focus.

" You're not going to die. Not like this. You've given too much for this to be your death."

I could feel her power ebb and flow, touching my mind as she unknowingly expounded her anger in my thoughts. Her mind was fiery, dark and foreboding.

" Too true…" I whispered, eyes dilating.

*The burning ground steamed, black mist rising. The smell of gore was sour on my tongue, sweat burning my nose. Moans assaulting my fine ears, my grip tightened on the hilt, the blade I owed everything to.

I could feel him, his blood flowing slowly, dripping his life away. My breath caught, still in my chest, longing to stop the pain, but I couldn't find him, it would be too late, it would end, and I was helpless-

" Naure?" The weak plea, hoping it was my imposing shadow cast over his wounded body.

I collapsed, my hand resting over his failing heart, the other curling around his shoulders so I might look upon his face.

" Amras… I wasn't here, by your side in time…I am sorry, I have failed…" Tears dripped from trembling eyes onto a quickly fading light.

" Shhhh, dearest Naurelen…" He comforted, reaching with great effort to stroke my hair. We touch foreheads, my desperate attempt to ease his pain. My dear brother's hand rests on my waist as he kisses me in failing strength. I answer, my mind crying, screaming in agony as I realize the once warmth we once shared, this fatal kiss tainted by the chill of Mandos' Doom.

" Do not fear, meleth-nin. You will become great in the glory of our heritage. May you be a beacon to our people when the others of Finwe's line have ceased."

He stopped, closing his dimming eyes and swallowing. My hand caressed his cheek, kissing the corner of his lips, wishing never to leave.

" I love you…" He then murmured, and the light fled.

My mind caved.

I awoke, lying over his stiff body, still dazed. I was so tired…

Strong arms lifted me, a familiar presence lightly touching me. I turned my head, inhaling a refreshing scent, so pure in contrast to the devastating battlefield. I wrapped my weak arms around his shoulders, slightly impeded by armor. I drifted from consciousness, only to wake knowing we were riding to a safe place, away from our brother's death. His blood stilled my heart, the slow drip of insanity.

The arms tightened, a reassuring voice chanted, soft lips, warm breath in my ear, " Naurelen, almost there, don't leave, I am here, you're safe."

" Amras…" I murmured, tears streaming again.

There was no answer, confirming mutual agony. The darkness enclosed again.

Rose petals meet my nose, a sweet awakening from misery. Content in that state of limp repose before rising, I lay, gazing around the sleeping chamber until my eyes rest on my rescuer.

His eyes are weary, watery and sad. He rises, slipping beside me on the bed, comforting with an arm encircling my waist.

We lay there, still and silent until I am sure he is asleep. I leave him there, drift down the hallway…

My memories of those times are always a confusing mix of love, peace, happiness, and extreme bloodshed. Maedhros went mad with his oath, even when I tried to reach his mind, tell him nothing would come of that great folly. And now, where do I stand? I am still the scared maiden, passionately in love with her brothers, wishing the world to return to what it once was. Always slipping away to contemplate, review, think, rewind. I wanted something so bad I could kill for it, blindly slaughter. But I never did. That's what they all saw in me, something they cherished, kept secret, adored, rarely chastised.

And all for what? So I could survive through these millennia to face my ultimate challenge? I will never be happy, never be saved. Can't you see me now?*

" I'm not jumping through hoops for you. I'm doing it because I can't fucking handle how long you've been like this. It's making me depressed, and I can't handle that."

"Thank you, Max. Don't mention how much I love you."

" Shut up, bitch."

" Good Morning!" Lara giggled, striding cheerfully to the room. Her hair was bound severely back from her face, a tight braid trailing down her back. It was black, matching her eyes.

"Screw with someone last night?" Max asks, cocking her head coyly.

"Why? Interested in spicing up my life?"

"Shut up. This is important." Kate slammed her fist on the conference table.

The rabble silenced, others filing in behind my guardians. As I stood, they fell in formation. I keyed up the images, beginning my explanation. Blueprints flashed up, my finger on the mouse pad changing the angles.

"This is a class A security system, the best so far invented in this world: Thermal-laser imaging, pressure plates, motion sensors, airflow monitors, and plenty of back up. Plus much more…"

"Are you sure he doesn't know what he's found? Doesn't guess that someone may try to reclaim the silmarils from him? He's not as stupid as he looks."

Lara shifted uneasily.

"Fucking shut up, ass. Don't you think we've already thought of that?"

"Bitch- I'm new to this. Don't give me that shit." Kali leaned forward, poised to strike.

" Very few know of my existence- to the rest, my memory is a myth, a fairy tale they tell their children or read in fantasy books. Quite depressing, what has become of the respect elves once had from the Edain."

" There is no account of you dying, though. Radnel can't just assume that you're gone. He's got to have taken some kind of precaution."

" Do you honestly have that little faith in the magnitude of my power? Or that I fear him as you do?"

Kali's eyes widened slightly, conveying her unintentional implication.

" He is fear inspiring, though, and every possibility of danger must be beaten to death before we proceed. I will do all that is in my power to aide you, keep their attention diverted long enough to get inside, get what we need, and get the hell out of there."

" What about the others, our brothers and sisters, the ones that are still in league with him? What if they get involved, sense something, and interfere?"

" That's right. There mind patterns are exactly like ours- they may figure out our goal and then we're really fucked."

" I'll take care of it. Worry about infiltration, and figure out how to bypass the laser net surrounding each gem. That may be trickier than expected."

I leaned toward the screen, the imaging system conveying a silver glow as it focused on the area in question. My body froze, transfixed by the sight- images I hadn't had to deal with in so long-

Suddenly, an explosion sounded in my head, my eyes dimming as I swooned to the floor.

Faintly, I could hear a commotion, rapid sound and grey shadows moving to and fro in the creeping darkness. I was just trying to make a point, wasn't I? To convey my thoughts, maybe even my desire on the matter. My mind was fading into a relapse again, my body felt itself being lifted and carried off gently somewhere.

I had always had this problem- when my emotions grew strong; my mind would collapse upon itself, carefully wrought barriers evaporating like mist. My control over this weakness has matured somewhat over these long years, but my senses feel the presence of the lost, skewing my brain. Before, when they were so close, burning Maedhros' clenched fist, gleaming through strong fingers on Maglor's maddened face, I was helplessly immobile, laying upon the ground in a whimpering powerless heap.

Now, my mind is slipping again, my own personal flaw surfacing, inherent insanity. The shadow encloses as my will fails…

*Yavanna's sweet messengers of the waning light of Telperion sing softly, dancing beneath my window in pure delight. I stood, leaning gently on the sill, gazing at their antics. My silver-grey gown clung to my figure, the hem gathering at light folds around my ankles.

My hair was free then, strands kept from my face in neat braids twined with silver and gold. The years have closed my freedom off, my raven tresses always tightly bound, for no one alive deserves to gaze upon their beauty.

Light, tender steps crept up from behind, and I truly felt the happiness spring from my belly up my spine, warmth bringing a grin to my solemn face. He stepped beside me, embracing my waist with one arm as his eyes glowed down to the twittering birds.

"Dear sister, what brings you here to gaze?" He asked, lips tickling my ear.

" Maedhros…" I murmured, twisting a silky lock of his hair around my finger. I looked to his shining grey eyes. " Tell me, has Naneth returned?"

He blinked, eyes turned and his brow furrowed slightly. Tightening his hold, he stroked my hair, then returned his gaze to my face.

"Ada's anger still clouds his mind, he will not listen to her council. This happened before, and they reconciled. Then our beautiful Naurelen was born to us," he stroked my face, lovingly at this. " But this time I fear Naneth may not return."

I closed my eyes against the painful news, resting my face on his neck as my arms clutch at his back and shoulders. His arms hug me close, his face buried in my hair.

"Be at peace, Naure. These events somehow are fated, some good must come of this." He kissed my forehead, warm lips murmuring against my fair skin. " Do not grieve so, for I cannot bear it."

" I fear things will get worse before our fates brighten, " I whispered, clinging.

"Shhhh…" He kissed my lips, sharing warmth and the power of his flaming spirit. I embraced it- Maedhros had always given this courage to me- to live on in dark times.

The moment lasted long, until he pulled away, leading me to greet our returning family with the rest of the traveling party. How naïve I was then, for I knew nothing, nor could fathom the shadow that would befall, the doom that would bind itself to our family so steadfastly throughout the ages.

For once, in many years, our family dined in happiness that night, the wonder of my brothers' return to their beloved royal princes drowning out the forlorn shadow of our mother's absence. I glowed in their presence, for I loved them dearly, and still do, even through the darkest and most evil deeds. It is if my memory of them has been freeze-framed in those moments of bliss. Even though they changed and found themselves tainted and corrupted, I could still faintly see the great princes they all once were. The loving gift of a sister…*

I could place myself on Arda now, some sense that I was returning from my vision. In confused grogginess, I vainly tried to place the meaning of this relapse. Why did it come at such an inopportune time?

It was quiet, I was exasperated, and I wanted something sweet. I struggled to sit, succeeded, but when I opened my eyes, my head spun, a pang of nausea clutching my stomach. Moaning, I sank defeated back onto my pillow. A pulse started at my temple, slow pounding…

" This is getting to be a little much," Lara drawled from the corner.

"Enjoying it?"

"Yes. Having a party."

" I feel so weak, so guilty, so unworthy…"

" I don't see why you don't just do it. Bite the bullet. Seize the day and go home. You have your chances now, I don't see why the entire ordeal is worth the strain. You've been waiting for this entirely too long."

My lids slid open a tiny sliver, slowly adjusting. I realized the room was only lit dimly, a shadowy glow softening anything unpleasant. Lara's tall, slim form outlined itself against the wall. She was beautiful- lean and muscular, light skin, dark eyes (the irises were black) and raven locks that fell to her butt. No one ever saw the eyes, like no one ever saw my hair; they were forever hidden beneath black glasses.

"You only got half-way through your speech, but they got the point. Kate and I will organize as much as we can, but we're really going to need your help with actually getting in undetected. That means-"

"I'm going to have to stop blacking out."

"Yes. These little seizures are getting quite annoying. You're getting pretty heavy for me to lug around this castle."

"I'll try better next time."

"Rest now, Naurelen." She touched the wall switch lightly, keying off the lights. I watched clearly as she walked out of the room.