THE TROUBLE WITH WOMEN…
He gently lowered his body atop hers and buried his face into her soft, soft hair. It had been a while since he had last touched her in such an intimate way. Where had the time gone? Where had he gone? It was almost daybreak. The sun attempted to peak inside the window, but the blind prevented it. Good. He didn't want the day to begin any sooner than it had to; he could lay here with her forever, his body connected to hers throughout all eternity. However, they had to face reality. Yet, for the time being, he was content not to move a muscle. He was in no great hurry. Neither was she. She had thought he had lost interest in her. She didn't realize that he would never lose interest in her regardless of the situation, what he said, or how he acted. However, he would literally have to hit her on the head with it. After he had recovered somewhat, he rose up just a little [not quite breaking the connection between their bodies] and laid a deep kiss on her more than eager mouth. She brought her hands up and thrust them into his short hair to hold him in place until she was satisfied. Of course, he didn't seem to notice, didn't seem to care. If they kept it up, he would want her again, and he wasn't sure he had enough time. She secured her legs about his waist and held onto him tightly, reluctant to let go, but she knew she must. He certainly couldn't stay with her all day. He had other places to go, other people to see. He broke the kiss and allowed his lips to drift onto her cheek before they traveled down her throat. As she continued to run her hands through his hair, she hoped this was more than a mercy fuck, but she was afraid to admit that it was probably exactly that. That thought hurt above all others swirling in her addled brain.
His lips moved from her throat to her ear, and his teeth nipped it gently. He chuckled warmly and it fell into her ear, making her shiver. "You know," Donovan said, "if we keep this up, our one-year plan might not pan out."
Loralei drew in a sharp intake of breath as if startled. "Do you think that's a bad thing," she asked. His reaction to her question would tell her exactly what she needed to know before she broke the news. If I ever get a chance, she thought.
He rose up just a little and gazed at her. "No, not really."
"There's a but, isn't there," she asked, suddenly very intensely interested.
Confused a little, his brow furrowed with concern. Where was this coming from? They'd already discussed this, hadn't they? "Baby, are you trying to start a fight," he asked, half-serious, half-not.
"No," she said. "I want to know how you feel about it. What if it were to happen? What if I were to become pregnant before Rachel is a year old?" Goddamn it, Frank Donovan, take the hint.
"Loralei, I don't understand where this is coming from. I made a silly comment. It's not a big deal."
It was a big deal. Why couldn't he understand that? He was blowing her off on this issue the same as he was with the woman. His words were very telling. He didn't want it to happen, wouldn't be happy about it at all. He had a 'one-year plan' and wanted to meticulously follow it as he had done with every decision he made, be it at home or work. There was no room for mistakes. Of course, the baby wasn't necessarily a mistake, it was just unexpected. They had planned to the letter with Rachel. She was once again tempted to ask him about the woman, to ask if he had made love to her as a way of placating her. She began to wonder if there was a new case at all, or if he had lied about that. She wouldn't delve into it right now, because she wanted to believe she was simply hysterical. Whatever the case, it was simple. She was pregnant and whether he liked it or not, it wouldn't just go away. Since he had reacted so lukewarm to the idea, she wasn't in such a big hurry to tell him now. It could wait. She wouldn't show for another two or three months.
"Loralei?"
She snapped out of her daze and looked at him. "I'm okay. I was just making conversation, that's all." If he could be nonchalant, so could she. "I think you better get off me if you don't want to be late."
She had meant for the comment to be flip, as was her custom, but there was a tinge of sadness to it. "Baby?" He had the sinking feeling that he had hurt her. But for the life of him, he didn't know how.
"It's okay, Frank. Go on, I insist."
* * *
Kara felt like a pitiful wreck. After walking in on Farron in a more than compromising position, she had gone home and took to her bed. She had no idea why this man had affected her in such a way. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he was her first. How funny was that? She was [er, had been] a twenty-eight year old virgin. What a joke. Since she had consented to sleeping with him, she didn't exactly regret her choice, even though she now realized that Farron Donovan was a womanizing bastard. However, it didn't stop her from feeling so very badly. What did she expect? Did she think he was going to ask for her hand in marriage or some silly shit? She barely knew him, had only seen him briefly, but it hadn't stopped her from allowing him to take her to his bed [er, sleeper sofa]. She shouldn't have expected more than what he gave her. Yet, she felt just as betrayed as she would have if they had been an established couple. She cursed herself for going to Loralei to ask for his address. Had she expected more than what happened? She hated to admit it, but she did. She expected to come into his life, get to know him a little better, and then let nature take over. Damn him. Damn all men.
She wasn't a plain Jane, she wasn't hideous, or ugly, or insane. She was simply an innocent person who had been burned more than once. Most of the men in her life wanted her only for her money. None of them showed any real interest in her, and when they discovered that she was a virgin, they assumed she preferred the company of women to men. It wasn't true. She wasn't a prude [although Farron had labeled her one], but she also didn't want to wind up sacrificing herself to a man only to be robbed blind. Sighing heavily, she managed to leave her bed and began the job of living again. She dressed casually and went downstairs. Fixing herself a cup of tea, she found her eyes fixed on the Donovan home. Her mind played back time and time again to her night with Farron. Stop it right now, she thought. She turned away from the window, took her tea, and entered the living room.
She had just gotten comfortable when her doorbell rang. Sighing, she set down her teacup and went to the door. When you think of the devil, he appears. "What the fuck are you doing here," she demanded. She startled herself. She hadn't ever uttered the word 'fuck' in her life.
Farron tore his eyes off hers long enough to shake his head. "We each owe the other an incredible explanation. I know you're angry and hurt, but so was I when you left. Would you at least hear me out before you slam the door on me forever?"
Kara didn't respond. She simply walked away and stepped over to her spot on the sofa. She sat down and took her teacup in hand. If he thought she was going to invite him in, he had another think coming. Of course, she wasn't in a big hurry to ask him to leave, either. His showing up said something to her, said something that had never been uttered in her presence before. He didn't know her, but he seemed to care, to feel horrid for what he had done. Besides, he was right. She owed him an explanation as well. Basically, she had betrayed him just as he had her.
Farron entered the foyer and closed the door behind him. He saw that she had sat down casually as if she didn't care about anyone or anything except her delicate china cup and tea. He wanted to ask if she would mind if he sat beside her. He bit it back and decided to do it anyway. If she wanted him to move, she would say so. Tentatively, he sat beside her, feeling as awkward as a dirty child seated on a pristine white couch. He watched as she raised her cup to her beautifully full lips and took a sip of tea. He had yet to forget how those lips tasted, and he ached to taste them again.
"Should I go first," he asked sedately.
"Do what you want," she said stubbornly.
He sighed and caressed the nape of his neck. He had affected the move after watching his brother doing it repeatedly. Every now and then, he caught himself doing it and not being exactly aware of it at all. "The woman you saw doesn't mean anything to me. Whether you believe that or not, it's true. She was someone I knew in another life, and I do not want to know her now. I will not lie and tell you that I didn't take her to bed. I did, and there was no excuse for that behavior. I won't blame you if you choose not to believe me, but since we were together that night at my brother's home, I haven't been able to get you off my mind. I have had a very bad, very colorful past, and I can safely say that I have never felt like this before. I hate it that I hurt you, I hate it that you had to see what you saw. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness. If you give that to me, I'll be satisfied whether you agree to see again or not."
His words touched her, of course. He was a shit, no doubt, but he was a sincere shit. No one had ever spoken to her so plainly and meant it. "I can forgive that, especially if it was a mistake, but you have to understand some things about me. What happened between us has never happened to me before. I have never…touched a man I didn't know well. I have met tons of men, but most of them were after my money, so I become a bit of a bitch to gorgeous men who suddenly develop an interest in me. I've had boyfriends, some of them serious, but I've found that handsome men are usually financially insecure, and they tend to hunt for wealthy heiresses. But there's something else you must understand, Farron, and this may frighten you. You were my first, and when I woke up and realized what I'd done, I couldn't deal with the emotions running through me. I've never wanted a man enough to let him make love to me, not until I met you."
He gazed at her, shocked. She was a virgin? He hadn't noticed, hadn't had an inkling of an idea. Of course, he wasn't exactly paying attention to the differences in the pitch of her voice as she cried out when he entered her. All he had focused on was the need to please her, to show her what he could do for her, the heights he could take her. He didn't exactly know how to deal with her bombshell. He probably hadn't made love to a virgin since he lost his own virginity at fourteen. Instead of focusing on the shock, the sheer jolting surprise, he shook his head and found a smile touching his lips. "If you think that's bad, let me tell you what I used to do for money."
* * *
Donovan was none to pleased when he entered the Nest and saw Ennui the first thing. She was seated at the conference table with Alex and Jake. With a pang of disgust, he noticed that she was wearing the engagement ring again. Would she ever stop? He walked past the conference table without a look her way. He could feel her eyes on him, following him about the room. Perhaps in a few days, they would no longer need her input, and his FBI brethren could deal with her. Normally, he would have sat in on the session and aided with their strategy. Not today. Not with her. The sooner she was out of his life, the better it would be. He bypassed them and made his way up to his office.
As he sat behind his desk, a deep sigh left his throat. At home, work distracted him. At work, home distracted him. He was worried about his wife. She seemed to have the wrong idea about his feelings for Ennui. What feelings, he thought, there are none. He was completely ambivalent, but he often thought she didn't believe him. He had told her dozens of times that he didn't want to speak about her because his past with her wasn't worth the waste of his breath. Something didn't make sense. He had been preoccupied by work before, but it never seemed to bother her. Why would it bother her now? After all the horrid mystery and secrets Loralei had held before he fell in love her, he never imagined she could confuse him so thoroughly after all had been revealed.
* * *
Alex broke away from the bull session for a moment. Donovan seemed more distracted than ever before. Of course, she knew the woman had more to do with it than anything else. Keeping an eye out for the boss, she announced she needed a smoke break. Jake hardly glanced at her [he had hardly exchanged two dozen words with her since that kissy kissy on the deck at Donovan and Loralei's]. She slipped outside and whipped out her phone. She dialed a number and when the phone was answered, she said, "So?"
"He doesn't know," Loralei said. "We had a 'what if' discussion this morning, and he made it a little plain that he wasn't ready for another baby."
"He didn't," Alex spat. "Come on, maybe you're just imagining things."
"Nope, I'm not. Can I say something without sounding totally paranoid?" Before she gave Alex a chance to speak, she continued, "Some woman approached us while we were trying to have dinner. She was an ex-fiancée of Frank's. He acted relatively weird around her, and I think he may be with her in the biblical sense."
The pain in her voice was clearly broadcast. She had to be talking about the cocaine call girl sitting with Jake inside. "Loralei, don't be ridiculous. He's not cheating on you. He would never cheat on you." She had to fight to keep from blurting out the woman's name. If Loralei heard it, heard that she was working with the team, her paranoia would become rage.
She sighed. "I know. It sounds stupid, but when I ask him about her, he is very evasive and won't tell me anything. What little I know, I had to pry out of Farron. He knew her, too." 'Knew her' was a sedate description at best. "Anyway, it seems as if I need a little time to spring this new kid on Frank. It's okay, I expected he would be less than overjoyed."
"You don't know that, Loralei. Damn it just spit it out. Do it before you drive yourself crazy."
"Too late," she spat through a bitter chuckle. "Gotta go. Morning sickness is working on me."
* * *
Later that evening, Cody was the only person left in the Nest. Jake, Alex, and Monica had gone to scope out the territory of Alca Huete. Donovan had left for a breath of fresh air. He had been confined to the office so long that he felt as if he were going stir crazy. Cody glanced at the clock often. He had a date tonight, and she was supposed to meet him in about twenty minutes. He worked furiously to catch up on a few backlogged programs. When he heard the outside door opening, he didn't give it a second thought. He assumed it was Donovan returning from his walk. Instead, he was faced by a pissed off Ennui Principio and a slate-faced FBI agent.
"Uh, hello there, Happy. Can I help you," Cody asked the agent.
"I have been called to active duty for a few hours, and I was directed to bring the witness back here," the agent grumbled.
Cody glanced at the woman before settling his eyes on the clock. A few hours? Jenna would be displeased. "Isn't there anyone else?"
"Nope. Besides, she's really your witness, not ours." Without another word, the agent left Ennui with a flabbergasted Cody.
He sighed. "I'll baby-sit you until the boss returns, then it's his turn."
Ennui was disgusted with this geeky agent. She didn't want to stay with him, but the prospect of being alone with Donovan was a thrilling idea. "Whatever," she spat. "I'd like to lay down."
He nodded toward a small alcove in the corner. "There's a couch in there. Have at it."
Cody didn't glance at her a second time as he moved past him. He kept watching the clock and grumbling under his breath. Jenna would kill him for sure. After twenty minutes, Cody breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the door opening a second time. He didn't bother waiting to see who it was. He gathered his stuff and headed toward the door.
"It's your watch, Boss," Cody spat as he ripped past Donovan.
"What do you mean," he called out. However, Cody was either ignoring him or hadn't heard him. Sighing, Donovan entered the room and went upstairs. He had had enough of the Nest today. He wanted to linger only long enough to grab his car keys, and then he would go home.
Ennui hadn't actually been sleeping at all. She had been laying in wait. As soon as she heard the computer geek exit and Vigoureux enter, she brought her body up to a sitting position. If she were to make a move at all, it would have to be right now. She came out of 'hiding,' so to speak and stood waiting for him to come down. She watched as he literally flew down the stairs. He was in quite the hurry to leave. The only thing that stopped him was Ennui.
He glared at her. "What the fuck are you doing here," he demanded.
She smiled a little, but didn't immediately approach him. "My guard for the night had to leave me here. Your computer guy was here until you returned."
'It's your watch, Boss.' Donovan groaned. Why hadn't he understood that before? Goddamn. She would have to find another guard. "You'll either stay here alone, or I'll have to arrange for another agent to come by. I have no intention of being here with you."
She couldn't wait any longer. She had to approach him. Ennui watched as Donovan stood his ground. He didn't bother moving away. She took it as a good sign. "Your anger is warranted, Vigoureux, and I don't blame you. But you cannot deny your feelings for me. Your hostility is a sure sign that you still want me."
"Don't call me that again, Ms. Principio. You are fucking cracked if you think I still want you. You're mental," he growled.
She laid her hand on his arm, and he shook it off. "Come on, Frank, you can't resist."
"If you touch me again," he said, "I'll cuff you to a chair and leave you here."
Ennui didn't reach out to him again, but instead, she tried something else. She leaned toward him suddenly, her reflexes key. Before he had the chance to back away, her lips were on his. At the exact second her lips touched his, Loralei walked into the room. Stunned and sickened by what she saw, she turned around abruptly and choked back a gut-wrenching sob. Donovan took Ennui roughly by the arms and shoved her back. It was then that he noticed his wife. Not giving one ripe fuck about the witness, about anything else, Donovan went to Loralei and took her arm.
Loralei jerked her arm out of his grasp. "Don't you touch me," she cried, "Don't you dare touch me."
"Loralei, baby, I didn't-"
She didn't give him a chance to utter another word. "How could you do this to me, to us? How could you, Frank?" He reached for her again, but she planted her hand in the middle of his chest and shoved him back. "I told you not to touch me," she said through her tears.
Donovan gritted his teeth in sheer rage as he watched her walk out. He turned toward Ennui and noticed a victorious smile on her lips. He stalked toward her and took hold of her upper arm. None too gently, he shoved her back into the room where she had lain in wait. Once he threw her forcefully inside, he locked the door. He had to repair the damage before she left him. Not since he tried to strangle Black Heart had he been so close to taking another life just for the joy of it.