Chapter 23: It's Over?
"Hey Cath, Sara." I said walking into the room. "How are you feeling Sara?"
"Okay I guess. What's this about? Did you get something?" The black clips under her eyes made this all twice as bad.
"Catherine could you excuse us?"
"Sure." Catherine gave Sara a quick squeeze of the hand she was holding. "Everything is okay Sara." I looked at Catherine. There was something in her eyes that wasn't there before. I began to wonder how Catherine was feeling? Does she hate to think if this happened to Sara it can happen to Lindsay? How was she affected by this? They aren't the best of friends but respect was always there. Now as I watch Catherine squeeze Sara's hand, I begin to feel that Catherine really cares about Sara. Its more than respect; its friendship.
"Call me if you need me. I'll be with the boys." She said then stepped out.
I stood for a long time then Sara spoke. "What's wrong Grissom? And don't sugar coat it, I'm a big girl."
"Sara," I took in a deep breath and took the seat across from her. I really treaded this part. I just couldn't bring myself to speak.
"Grissom what's wrong? Tell me please."
I looked at her pleading eyes and it all came out in a rush of words. "Sara we can take you home. It's over."
She didn't move. She just stared at me without any expression on her beautiful face.
"Then why are you so unhappy?"
It wasn't shock that overtook me, it was dread. I knew this is the way it should be. I knew Sara was not going to accept this without a reason. Here we go. "We found evidence that Beth setup your attack."
Her brows knitted in confusion but she was surprisingly calm. Her voice barely audible. "What?"
"She used you to kill Thomas and tried to make it look like self-defense." I reached across the table and touched her hand. "Sara I am so sorry. I didn't want it to end this way either."
"Could there be a mistake?" Her words were again calm and rational. I was starting to wonder if she was in shock. After all I thought there would be yelling by now. I thought there would be some form of emotion.
"No. We have a phone conversation between Beth and Thomas. She told him that you came back to San Francisco."
"What phone call? How?"
"First of all Thomas McBride is really Thomas Parks."
"Parks as in Ethan Parks. His brother?"
"Yes. The father, Judge Randal Parks, had a phone tap due to corruption as judge. Thomas was there that night and Beth called him. We got the whole thing."
The room settled into silence. "I want to hear it." She said finally.
"Sara I don't think that is a good idea."
"Why?" She asked. "I want to know it was her. I can't believe Beth would do that."
Denial. I would have questioned everything too, if I just found out my best friend just stabbed me in the back. I tried to keep her away from anymore despair though. "Sara she did, and I don't want to put you through that."
"Guess what Grissom, I was already put through that."
"Just let me take you home Sara. Please." I squeezed her hand.
"I told you when this started, that I don't want your sympathy. And this," she removed her hand from my grasp. "is sympathy." She stood up and started to pace the room.
"Sara sit down. I need to talk to you."
"About what?!" I knew she was angry but I can deal with anger. I just don't know what I would have done if she stayed so calm like this didn't bother her. I know it bothered her, because it bothered me.
"You want to talk about how my best friend used me. God, she used me Grissom. I swore that no one would do that again. Damnit! Damn me!"
I stood up. "Sara you are not to blame for Beth's actions. She is the one that is to blame."
She continued pacing and totally ignored my comment. "Oh. My. God. I left her no choice. Its my fault. I knew I should have tried harder to keep her away from Thomas. She wouldn't be in this mess if I stopped her. If I was a better friend. She had every right to do what she did. I understand. I totally deserved it."
No. "Sara stop thinking that way. You know you could have done nothing to change who she loved." No one controls who they love.
"But I don't know that for sure. What if I..."
I cut her off. "No Sara. No 'What if's'. Its over and there is nothing you can do about it."
"I need to see her. What's going to happen to her?"
"She is on her way to trial."
"What is she claiming? I am sure a jury would find her actions justifiable."
What?! She is worried about what is happening to the one that used her? I pulled her to a stop. "It's over Sara." We stood there staring at each other. "It's over Sara. Over." I repeated. She looked as if she wanted to cry but she wouldn't permit herself to do such a thing.
The door opened. "Mr. Grissom I need you to sign some papers at the front desk." A young woman called from the doorway.
I dropped my hands to my side. "Its over Sara. We're going home."
Her breathing calmed. "Okay." She whispered. Suddenly her defeat was not as welcoming as I thought it would be. Now I knew that for Sara it wasn't over. I was only postponing the inevitable. I would order her to a doctor if she didn't get past this on her own. I didn't care if she hated me for life.
I stepped out of the room to go sign the papers and hoped that the time alone would give Sara sometime to think things out. At the front desk I found Sara's casefile. I quickly signed all of the forms. It was over. I could take Sara home. We could all go home.
"Well sir its been a pleasure working with you." I looked up and found Taylor Epps thrusting his hand over my file. "Despite our rough start, I have learned a lot about myself. I wanted to tell you that I transferred to the police force."
"Why?" I asked perplexed.
"You were right in a way. Being a CSI isn't for me. I think being a police officer working with the criminalists is just as important. And good ones seem to be in short supply here."
"Listen Epps, I don't want to change your mind but I fell somewhat responsible for you leaving."
"Don't be. Like I said being a CSI wasn't meant to be. Anyway I don't want to take up anymore of your time. When are you leaving?"
"As soon as possible."
"Well in that case I would like to slip in and see Sara before she goes. She really is the sweetest person. I went to keep her company while you and the team had work to do. I wanted to help someway. Is she going to pull through this?"
"I don't know. Right now I just want to get us all home."
"I don't blame you. Well I'll wait until Ethan's done then go talk to her."
"What?!"
He jumped at the loud urgency of my voice. "She is with Ethan. I saw him go in after you left. I know but he got a permission. There's nothing we can do. I checked."
"Is he alone with her?" I asked a little afraid of the answer.
"That's not part of the deal. Ethan could only see her if he was accompanied by another officer."
"I didn't ask if he wasn't supposed to be, I asked if he was alone with her?" He didn't say a word. I had to get to Sara. If he was alone with her...I couldn't even fathom what was going on right now.
When I reached the interrogation room I heard the shouting and my worst fears were confirmed.
"I don't blame my brother for beating the shit out of you!" Then there was a loud thud against the aluminum door. I grabbed the doorknob but it was locked. Why didn't this door have a window? All doors should have windows.
"Open the door!" I pounded on the door with all my might. "Open the door!" I yelled again but only got more shuffling and yelling from the other side.
"Don't you ever touch me!" I heard Sara yell. Good for you Sara. Just keep him away from you until I get in there.
"Why Sara I thought you liked it rough?!"
I heard a resounding slam, which I knew was a fist hitting flesh, then a screech that must have been the table sliding across the floor. I felt so helpless out here when she was in there in harm's way. God this had to be the worst feeling ever; to hear someone you love getting hurt.
I turned around to see Epps looking ghostly white. "Get the keys to this room. Now!"
He nodded and ran away.
"Come on Sara! You started this finish it!" Ethan yelled. "You killed my brother, ruined my brother, and my father hates me! You bitch, its my turn to return the favor!"
Oh my God, it was Sara that was getting the brunt of the blows. Then there was another slam against the nearby wall and I heard coughing. Sara coughing.
"Mr. Grissom!" Epps yelled from down the hallway. He motioned the keys in the air and I nodded for him to throw them. I swiftly caught them and turned to unlock the door. I cursed my trembling hands as they jumped around the keyhole. Finally the key slipped in and I turned it.
When I came in Sara was pinned against the wall and Ethan's arm choking her. I ran over and pulled him away from her. I threw him into the awaiting hands of three armed guards and Epps.
I looked at Sara. Her breathing was labored and shallow. She wouldn't look at me, she looked at him, who was now being arrested.
"You bitch! Let me go!" Ethan shouted.
My ears picked up his voice but my eyes never left Sara. She was trembling violently under my touch. God she was in shock.
"Sara look at me." She didn't move. I shook her shoulders lightly. "Look at me Sara!" Her actions were slow but she finally looked up at me. I couldn't read her eyes at all. It was like she was striped away from any feeling or any life. My eyes fell to her jaw, which was badly swollen and turning blue. Tears streaked her red flushed face. She couldn't seem to catch her breath or stop shaking.
I was at a loss for words. Look what he did to her? He. Him. I turned and made a mad rush for Ethan. I didn't think, I felt. "You bastard!" My fist made solid contact with Ethan's face before anyone could predict and stop my wrath. I felt hands holding my shoulders back but I couldn't stop, not until he paid for what he did to Sara. I shoved him into the wall away from the hall. My fists came in contact with any part that was not blocked.
"Get him the hell off me!" Ethan yelled through a blood soaked mouth.
"Grissom!" I recognized Warrick's voice yell. "Stop man!"
"No! Look what he did to her!" I yelled back. With that I shrugged off Warrick's grip and went after Ethan again. All my anger, all my hate came out. I was angry at Thomas for doing this to Sara in the first place, I was angry that Elizabeth Clark hurt her, and now angry at Ethan who managed to hurt her again. I wanted him to suffer like Sara suffered.
"Grissom stop!" Warrick yelled again and pulled me back and away.
"I want to press charges!" Ethan yelled.
"Get him out of here!" Warrick spat back.
My eyes searched for Sara. When our eyes locked her stare was blank but I could see pain written all over her face; on the verge of tears.
"Holy shit Gris. Jesus look at your hands." Warrick said.
I ignored him and went to Sara. I touched her face with my bloody hands. "God Sara tell me your okay?"
At my touch she jumped back against the wall. It wasn't a little jump, no she really thrust her body into the wall to get away from me.
She thinks I'll hurt her. No. "Sara I won't hurt you."
She slid down the wall to a sitting position and started to gasp for air. "It...hap...pened...again." She started to fall forward and collapsed onto the floor.
"Warrick go call an ambulance! Hurry!" I went to her side while Warrick rushed past us. I quickly scanned her over. "Sara where are you hurt?"
She was still in a daze and shaking all over. Her eyes were glassy and looked into some distant spot on the floor. "It...hur...hurts." She said.
"I know, where?"
She moved her hand in one quick motion to her side then let it drop lifeless to the floor. The adrenaline rush no longer fueled her lungs or numbed the pain so she could breathe. She no longer took in air. Her chest quit rising.
"No. Sara, stay with me Sara. Come on Sara." I told her it was over and it wasn't. I failed to protect her. I failed to love her. I failed her, end of story; end of life.
"I am sorry sir but you have to move." A young paramedic said. I hadn't even realized they came in.
"Come on Gil. Let them work." I recognized the voice and hand on my shoulder as Catherine's. The paramedic started to breathe into Sara's mouth, willing her lungs to take in air. Breathe Sara, please breathe.
"Grissom?" Catherine said in my ear.
My reaction was slow. I couldn't take my eyes off his rhythmic movement as he danced on Sara's mouth and chest. "Yes."
Catherine bent down and put a hand under my elbow. "Gil come on get up. We need to make sure you're okay."
"Sara..." I watched them examine her side. Before the medic pulled Sara's shirt back down I saw the immense bruising. Her normally pink skin became a range of blue and purple from the blood escaping under the skin and getting trapped. I felt sick. Nauseous. Dizzy. Lightheaded. It was a good thing I was sitting down.
"Gil I know we will go see her as soon as we make sure you're okay. Come on get up."
I looked down to my hands. They were covered in Ethan's blood. I mindlessly obeyed her and struggled to my feet. Warrick and Nick were close by to help pull me up and steady me. They carried Sara out of the room and out of sight.
"Nick could you bring the car around front?"
"Sure Catherine."
"Warrick help me get Grissom out to the car."
I heard them but it was all distant and unimportant compared to Sara. Sara. What was I going to do if she didn't make it? She stopped breathing.
"Grissom?"
I looked to Catherine and just noticed we were in the car driving to the hospital. "Yeah."
"Talk to me."
I blinked hard and continued to stare past her. I remember thinking, 'so this is what shock feels like.' This is what Sara felt like. Catherine watched the road then looked at me waiting for something, anything. Sorry Cath, I said silently, but this is something that I don't feel like sharing. I turned back to my window and stared out to the traffic.
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tbc...