Dana looked at the two people - correction one person and one vampire
sitting in her exam room. She was quite sure she had never seem
two more miserable beings in her life. There was a story between
these two she was sure of it. She hoped she could get Buffy to open
up and tell her the story, it could go a long way towards helping
Spike.
"Buffy, I really do believe I can help him. But I'm going to need
your help. First off, he wasn't always like this was he?" Dana
moved to stand in front of Spike, "May I look at your chest? I
think I have something that might make those cuts feel better."
Spike looked to Buffy first. She nodded at him, "Go ahead, Spike.
Let the doctor see. And no mam, he wasn't always like this. It's only been
since he got back into town a couple of months ago."
He turned back to Dana and slowly began to unbutton the rest of his
shirt. Dana and Buffy both gasped when he finally had the shirt
completely undone. The few cuts they had seen were nothing compared to
the complete mess his chest and abdomen were.
"Spike." Buffy gasped slowly reaching her hand to touch a partially
healed cut.
"No,this is wrong shouldn't be here ." He curled his feet up into the chair
underneath him. Looking so forlorn, that Buffy teared up again
as she pulled her hand back from him.
Dana watched as the scene on the park bench replayed. Buffy trying to
help and Spike pulling back. He didn't seem to want Buffy's help,
yet she could tell that Buffy meant something to him, something
important. She poured the antisetpic on to a four by four and
began to dab at the dried blood. "I just want to clean this up for
you okay."
Spike looked at Buffy again for approval, "Yes, please let her
fix you up okay?"
"Why?" He asked her as a moment of lucidity passed over him, "Why
do you care Buffy?" And then he smiled at her, that small resigned
smile he had given her so many times in the past when she had
hurt him.
"Because... I care. I don't know...." Her voice cracked slightly.
The moment was gone as quickly as it came, "They say I shouldn't
be here, shouldn't get help." Spike put his hands over his ears
and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Who are they, Spike?" Dana asked looking up from her work on
his chest, she nodded to Buffy, "Could you bring me some of that
gauze to wrap his chest please?"
Buffy stood and walked to a large storage shelf, she quickly found
the gauze and brought it to Dana. "Here, can we take your shirt off?"
She asked Spike as she began to pull the ratty shirt off of his
shoulders. "I'm going to wrap this around you." She told him
each move she was making as she did it. Soon his chest was wrapped
in a swath of clean bandage.
"Would you like to get cleaned up some more and then we can get
you in a room?" Dana continued to talk to him in a soothing voice as
she turned to Buffy again, "How about we fill that basin with warm
water and we'll see if we can clean him up?"
Buffy once again obliged the Doctor and watched as she soaked a
small towel in the water and washed Spike's face and arms. "Now,
who is telling you that you don't belong here?"
"Them.......all of them. They are in my head...telling me.. blaming me,
don't they know that I know it was all my fault. William is a bad
man." Spike told her as she put her hand on his elbow and helped
him from the chair. Dana looked at Buffy who had been very quiet
through the whole wash up, " Do you know when the voices
started? And who is William?"
Buffy walked beside Spike gently holding on to one arm as Dana held the other guiding him to a
sparsely furnished room with no window. "William is Spike...well...it's a long
story. The voices I think they are voices of his past....of his
past victims."
"I've seen him several times in the park, I jog there frequently."
Dana pulled back the blankets on the hospital bed, "He never
appeared dangerous just very sad and basically out of it. And then
I saw him with you several times. I know you want to help him, but
I'm going to ask you the same thing you asked me. You know he's not
human, you've admitted he had 'victims' in his past. Why do you
want to help him?"
"First off, jogging at night in Sunnydale, not a good idea." Buffy
shook her head at the doctor, then in a softer voice, "Spike hasn't had victims for a long
time now, he has a chip in his head, he can't hurt humans."
"Chip?" Dana looked incredulous.
"Yes, another long story."
"Let's see if we can get him in bed. Spike do you want to rest now?" Dana
led him towards the turned down bed.
"Rest, yes. Can we rest?" Spike looked directly at Buffy as he
said the words.
Buffy rubbed watery eyes when she heard those words coming from
him again. "Yes, Spike you can rest."
"Would you be more comfortable out of those pants?"
"Dr. Lavery, I should warn you he usually goes commando." Buffy gave a small
smile.
"Commando?" Dana raised her eyebrows at Buffy then her eyes got
wide as Spike pulled down his jeans revealing that he still opted
for the natural look. "Oh, well," Dana quickly reached for a
gown, "Here, you can help him with this."
Buffy took the offered gown and helped Spike put it on, she winced
when she noticed his legs weren't in much better shape then his
chest. "Spike, what have you done?" She whispered as he crawled
into the bed looking as if he were a child being tucked in. She cautiously
ran her hand through his hair, "Goodnight."
Dana moved towards the bed, "Spike, this is a call button if you
need me just push it. You get some sleep and tomorrow we'll start
working on getting you well."
"Yes, mam. I'll be very still and very quiet." He pulled the blanket
up around his chin.
Buffy followed the doctor as she turned out the light and left
the room. Dana turned to her, "Buffy, it occurs to me that if you
knew about Spike's 'commando' preference then you probably know
alot more about him that could be helpful. Would you mind coming
back tomorrow and filling me in on what might have caused his
psychosis?"
"Yes, I could do that. I really want to help, but well...it's complicated.
But I'll come back tomorrow. Will he be okay here?" Buffy asked
concern heavy in her voice.
"Yes, I have a room here and I'll check on him. He'll be fine." Dana
led her to the back exit and said goodnight. She peeked in Spike's
room and he appeared to have fallen asleep already. This was going
to be a challenge but one she felt sure she was up too.
**
Spike closed his eyes very tightly and held himself perfectly still.
He was afraid, this wasn't his place, he didn't have the papers to
be here, he was going to be in trouble. They would find him here,
they could find him anywhere, taunt him tell him how bad he was, remind
him of what he was. Shut up his mind screamed!! He knew he didn't deserve her, but it was her
name on his lips as he cried himself to sleep amongst the clean
sheets, "Buffy..Buffy."
Dana Lavery almost cried herself as she heard the pain in the vampires
voice. We'll get you through this was her last thought as she returnded
to her room.
TBC
sitting in her exam room. She was quite sure she had never seem
two more miserable beings in her life. There was a story between
these two she was sure of it. She hoped she could get Buffy to open
up and tell her the story, it could go a long way towards helping
Spike.
"Buffy, I really do believe I can help him. But I'm going to need
your help. First off, he wasn't always like this was he?" Dana
moved to stand in front of Spike, "May I look at your chest? I
think I have something that might make those cuts feel better."
Spike looked to Buffy first. She nodded at him, "Go ahead, Spike.
Let the doctor see. And no mam, he wasn't always like this. It's only been
since he got back into town a couple of months ago."
He turned back to Dana and slowly began to unbutton the rest of his
shirt. Dana and Buffy both gasped when he finally had the shirt
completely undone. The few cuts they had seen were nothing compared to
the complete mess his chest and abdomen were.
"Spike." Buffy gasped slowly reaching her hand to touch a partially
healed cut.
"No,this is wrong shouldn't be here ." He curled his feet up into the chair
underneath him. Looking so forlorn, that Buffy teared up again
as she pulled her hand back from him.
Dana watched as the scene on the park bench replayed. Buffy trying to
help and Spike pulling back. He didn't seem to want Buffy's help,
yet she could tell that Buffy meant something to him, something
important. She poured the antisetpic on to a four by four and
began to dab at the dried blood. "I just want to clean this up for
you okay."
Spike looked at Buffy again for approval, "Yes, please let her
fix you up okay?"
"Why?" He asked her as a moment of lucidity passed over him, "Why
do you care Buffy?" And then he smiled at her, that small resigned
smile he had given her so many times in the past when she had
hurt him.
"Because... I care. I don't know...." Her voice cracked slightly.
The moment was gone as quickly as it came, "They say I shouldn't
be here, shouldn't get help." Spike put his hands over his ears
and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Who are they, Spike?" Dana asked looking up from her work on
his chest, she nodded to Buffy, "Could you bring me some of that
gauze to wrap his chest please?"
Buffy stood and walked to a large storage shelf, she quickly found
the gauze and brought it to Dana. "Here, can we take your shirt off?"
She asked Spike as she began to pull the ratty shirt off of his
shoulders. "I'm going to wrap this around you." She told him
each move she was making as she did it. Soon his chest was wrapped
in a swath of clean bandage.
"Would you like to get cleaned up some more and then we can get
you in a room?" Dana continued to talk to him in a soothing voice as
she turned to Buffy again, "How about we fill that basin with warm
water and we'll see if we can clean him up?"
Buffy once again obliged the Doctor and watched as she soaked a
small towel in the water and washed Spike's face and arms. "Now,
who is telling you that you don't belong here?"
"Them.......all of them. They are in my head...telling me.. blaming me,
don't they know that I know it was all my fault. William is a bad
man." Spike told her as she put her hand on his elbow and helped
him from the chair. Dana looked at Buffy who had been very quiet
through the whole wash up, " Do you know when the voices
started? And who is William?"
Buffy walked beside Spike gently holding on to one arm as Dana held the other guiding him to a
sparsely furnished room with no window. "William is Spike...well...it's a long
story. The voices I think they are voices of his past....of his
past victims."
"I've seen him several times in the park, I jog there frequently."
Dana pulled back the blankets on the hospital bed, "He never
appeared dangerous just very sad and basically out of it. And then
I saw him with you several times. I know you want to help him, but
I'm going to ask you the same thing you asked me. You know he's not
human, you've admitted he had 'victims' in his past. Why do you
want to help him?"
"First off, jogging at night in Sunnydale, not a good idea." Buffy
shook her head at the doctor, then in a softer voice, "Spike hasn't had victims for a long
time now, he has a chip in his head, he can't hurt humans."
"Chip?" Dana looked incredulous.
"Yes, another long story."
"Let's see if we can get him in bed. Spike do you want to rest now?" Dana
led him towards the turned down bed.
"Rest, yes. Can we rest?" Spike looked directly at Buffy as he
said the words.
Buffy rubbed watery eyes when she heard those words coming from
him again. "Yes, Spike you can rest."
"Would you be more comfortable out of those pants?"
"Dr. Lavery, I should warn you he usually goes commando." Buffy gave a small
smile.
"Commando?" Dana raised her eyebrows at Buffy then her eyes got
wide as Spike pulled down his jeans revealing that he still opted
for the natural look. "Oh, well," Dana quickly reached for a
gown, "Here, you can help him with this."
Buffy took the offered gown and helped Spike put it on, she winced
when she noticed his legs weren't in much better shape then his
chest. "Spike, what have you done?" She whispered as he crawled
into the bed looking as if he were a child being tucked in. She cautiously
ran her hand through his hair, "Goodnight."
Dana moved towards the bed, "Spike, this is a call button if you
need me just push it. You get some sleep and tomorrow we'll start
working on getting you well."
"Yes, mam. I'll be very still and very quiet." He pulled the blanket
up around his chin.
Buffy followed the doctor as she turned out the light and left
the room. Dana turned to her, "Buffy, it occurs to me that if you
knew about Spike's 'commando' preference then you probably know
alot more about him that could be helpful. Would you mind coming
back tomorrow and filling me in on what might have caused his
psychosis?"
"Yes, I could do that. I really want to help, but well...it's complicated.
But I'll come back tomorrow. Will he be okay here?" Buffy asked
concern heavy in her voice.
"Yes, I have a room here and I'll check on him. He'll be fine." Dana
led her to the back exit and said goodnight. She peeked in Spike's
room and he appeared to have fallen asleep already. This was going
to be a challenge but one she felt sure she was up too.
**
Spike closed his eyes very tightly and held himself perfectly still.
He was afraid, this wasn't his place, he didn't have the papers to
be here, he was going to be in trouble. They would find him here,
they could find him anywhere, taunt him tell him how bad he was, remind
him of what he was. Shut up his mind screamed!! He knew he didn't deserve her, but it was her
name on his lips as he cried himself to sleep amongst the clean
sheets, "Buffy..Buffy."
Dana Lavery almost cried herself as she heard the pain in the vampires
voice. We'll get you through this was her last thought as she returnded
to her room.
TBC