Part 5 ^_^
Kitty decided that if Amanda could be nice to her, the least she could
do was be nice back. She returned the hug, briefly, and said, "Sorry I
called you names. I guess I was like, jealous and stuff." _Jealous of
you and my fuzzy-elf. Jealous of you guys being happy. Jealous of all
the fun you have._ "Um. You wanna like, go on a diet with me?"
Amanda laughed. "I don't *need* to diet."
"Not wanting to sound rude? But -um- you're not exactly a size
eight..."
She rolled her eyes. "Kitty, size fourteen does not equal 'fat'.
Likewise, size eight does not equal 'beautiful'. I'm a healthy weight
for my height. And -um- not wanting to sound rude? You're not."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"No, hon. You're frighteningly thin," she held Kitty's hand. "Knowing
Kurt, I'm sure he's tried to sidle up to telling you as much."
"Sort of," Kitty admitted. "He kept like, trying to feed me all
*sorts* of gross stuff. I mean calorie-a-thon, here."
Amanda giggled. "He does kinda want to feed people. It's his
metabolism, I swear. Food's so important to him, so he wants to make
sure those he loves are fed, too. It's kinda sweet when you think about
it."
"Guess," Kitty allowed.
"Come on. I have a new diet for you. It's called the 'healthy diet'.
There's this thing called the food pyramid, you see, and--"
"Wiseass," Kitty punched her, but only a play-punch. "Okay. You guys
can like, lecture me on nutrition while I like, pork out on chocolate
ice-cream."
"It's a date!" said Kurt from outside.
_This is the first day of the rest of your life,_ Kitty chanted inside
her head. _I do not need him to be me._ Resolute, she walked straight to
her locker and ignored Lance to within an inch of his life. Much to her
surprise, she made it all the way to her first class without being asked
what he'd said.
Kurt said that was a sure sign that he was paying attention. Guys
always ask what they'd said, he told her, when they notice that they're
getting the cold shoulder. Even if it was something they did, or did not
do.
_Maybe he's suffering in silence or something,_ she thought as she
took her seat. _Well, he's not going to get any of *my* sympathy._
She was too good for him. Yeah. Too good for the scum-sucker.
Lance, meanwhile, was almost completely oblivious. He lived in his own
private universe where people did what he said and love was something
that happened when he wasn't too busy doing other stuff. Like cleaning
his fingernails.
That was why Kitty made such a convenient girlfriend. She was a
Freshman while he was a Senior, and that meant that she'd do just about
anything just for the privalege of his company. And, when push came to
shove, he could manipulate her into putting out. Eventually. Not right
now, of course. He didn't want statutory rape charges against him.
The worst thing about dating girls younger than he was was waiting for
them to turn eighteen.
The second-worst thing was paying attention to them. Attention they
seemed to need like air.
So, when Kitty walked past his table to sit with the X-geeks at lunch
that day, he was kind of relieved. He didn't have to stress about
listening to her daily diatribe. Like he really wanted to hear how
nauseatingly in love the freakshow was...
Actually, he kinda felt sorry for Amanda. _Just imagine how desperate
you'd have to be to want to snuggle up to *that*,_ he thought.
_*Eeeeeewwwww*..._
On the cons side, it did mean that he and the guys would have to come
up with some lame excuse as to why their homework wasn't done, but it
was worth it. He had a little peace and quiet today. A nice little
holiday from Kitty's perpetual valley-girl whining.
"Look at him. He's not even like, noticing or like, anything."
"I *told* you he was a scum-sucker," said Amanda.
Kurt approached the table, balancing two trays in his arms. He
carefully set them down, then doled out the plates. The last one was a
surprise, since it was the first plate that was gently pushed her way
since he'd found Amanda.
"And this is for you," he said.
"What is it?" she said, poking it with a fork.
"Kosher," Kurt grinned. "I asked specially for it. Turns out there's a
healthy Jewish community around here, and they stock Kosher meals as a
matter of course."
"Um. There's like, meat in here?"
"Balanced diet, remember?" said Kurt.
"Meat *is* part of the food pyramid, you know," said Amanda. She then
noted the disparity between her serving and Kurt's. "Did you have a
rough morning, sweetie?"
"*Ja*. One of Logan's surprise drills. Right in the middle of
*breakfast*."
Amanda whistled. "I'll bet *you* weren't a happy camper."
"Neither was anybody in his flight path," said Evan. "He wound up
choking on a cruller."
"Rrrrr! Now he's flirting with *Tabby*... *Ew*."
"Tabitha flirts with anything that stands up to pee," said Ray.
"Ignore it. The rest of the world does."
"Hmph," said Kitty. "I am *so* totally putting a stink bomb in his
like, locker."
Kurt had his dangerous-mood-smirk on. "Why stop at a stink bomb?" he
asked.
"*Uh*-oh..." Evan scooched away. "I'm *not* going to be involved.
Whatever it is, count me out. There is *no* way I am helping you guys.
Never. At least, never again."
Amanda was smirking, too. "You know," she said, "if I didn't trust you
implicitly, I'd start thinking you were dallying with Kitty behind my
back..."
"Good thing I'm trustworthy, ja?" He kissed his way up her arm and
settled in for an olympic-style neck-nuzzle.
"Stop that," Amanda giggled. "You need to eat, too."
Kitty tried the Kosher meal. It was actually quite nice. And she
didn't feel *too* evil after eating meat. Maybe Kurt, Amanda and her gym
teacher had a point.
That afternoon, Lance had to get some stuff out of his locker. He'd
been having a good day, right up until that point. All he really
recalled of the actual event was the sight of something coming at him at
warp nine and the smell of several dead skunks permeating the air.
There was a noise that was best described as, {Pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpblth!}
as approximately two kilos of noodles hit his head, and the stench of a
mega-stink bomb began to pervade the atmosphere.
Lance took a deep breath - something of a mistake, really - and
yelled, "*PIETRO*!"
Everyone else just laughed.
It was hours later that he found the little note taped to his locker
door. After he'd finally extracted a wet, gooshy noodle from his left
ear. It read, in Kitty's neat handwriting, "Congratulations! You've been
dropped! So long, loser."
Oh, *fab*...
Kitty decided that if Amanda could be nice to her, the least she could
do was be nice back. She returned the hug, briefly, and said, "Sorry I
called you names. I guess I was like, jealous and stuff." _Jealous of
you and my fuzzy-elf. Jealous of you guys being happy. Jealous of all
the fun you have._ "Um. You wanna like, go on a diet with me?"
Amanda laughed. "I don't *need* to diet."
"Not wanting to sound rude? But -um- you're not exactly a size
eight..."
She rolled her eyes. "Kitty, size fourteen does not equal 'fat'.
Likewise, size eight does not equal 'beautiful'. I'm a healthy weight
for my height. And -um- not wanting to sound rude? You're not."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"No, hon. You're frighteningly thin," she held Kitty's hand. "Knowing
Kurt, I'm sure he's tried to sidle up to telling you as much."
"Sort of," Kitty admitted. "He kept like, trying to feed me all
*sorts* of gross stuff. I mean calorie-a-thon, here."
Amanda giggled. "He does kinda want to feed people. It's his
metabolism, I swear. Food's so important to him, so he wants to make
sure those he loves are fed, too. It's kinda sweet when you think about
it."
"Guess," Kitty allowed.
"Come on. I have a new diet for you. It's called the 'healthy diet'.
There's this thing called the food pyramid, you see, and--"
"Wiseass," Kitty punched her, but only a play-punch. "Okay. You guys
can like, lecture me on nutrition while I like, pork out on chocolate
ice-cream."
"It's a date!" said Kurt from outside.
_This is the first day of the rest of your life,_ Kitty chanted inside
her head. _I do not need him to be me._ Resolute, she walked straight to
her locker and ignored Lance to within an inch of his life. Much to her
surprise, she made it all the way to her first class without being asked
what he'd said.
Kurt said that was a sure sign that he was paying attention. Guys
always ask what they'd said, he told her, when they notice that they're
getting the cold shoulder. Even if it was something they did, or did not
do.
_Maybe he's suffering in silence or something,_ she thought as she
took her seat. _Well, he's not going to get any of *my* sympathy._
She was too good for him. Yeah. Too good for the scum-sucker.
Lance, meanwhile, was almost completely oblivious. He lived in his own
private universe where people did what he said and love was something
that happened when he wasn't too busy doing other stuff. Like cleaning
his fingernails.
That was why Kitty made such a convenient girlfriend. She was a
Freshman while he was a Senior, and that meant that she'd do just about
anything just for the privalege of his company. And, when push came to
shove, he could manipulate her into putting out. Eventually. Not right
now, of course. He didn't want statutory rape charges against him.
The worst thing about dating girls younger than he was was waiting for
them to turn eighteen.
The second-worst thing was paying attention to them. Attention they
seemed to need like air.
So, when Kitty walked past his table to sit with the X-geeks at lunch
that day, he was kind of relieved. He didn't have to stress about
listening to her daily diatribe. Like he really wanted to hear how
nauseatingly in love the freakshow was...
Actually, he kinda felt sorry for Amanda. _Just imagine how desperate
you'd have to be to want to snuggle up to *that*,_ he thought.
_*Eeeeeewwwww*..._
On the cons side, it did mean that he and the guys would have to come
up with some lame excuse as to why their homework wasn't done, but it
was worth it. He had a little peace and quiet today. A nice little
holiday from Kitty's perpetual valley-girl whining.
"Look at him. He's not even like, noticing or like, anything."
"I *told* you he was a scum-sucker," said Amanda.
Kurt approached the table, balancing two trays in his arms. He
carefully set them down, then doled out the plates. The last one was a
surprise, since it was the first plate that was gently pushed her way
since he'd found Amanda.
"And this is for you," he said.
"What is it?" she said, poking it with a fork.
"Kosher," Kurt grinned. "I asked specially for it. Turns out there's a
healthy Jewish community around here, and they stock Kosher meals as a
matter of course."
"Um. There's like, meat in here?"
"Balanced diet, remember?" said Kurt.
"Meat *is* part of the food pyramid, you know," said Amanda. She then
noted the disparity between her serving and Kurt's. "Did you have a
rough morning, sweetie?"
"*Ja*. One of Logan's surprise drills. Right in the middle of
*breakfast*."
Amanda whistled. "I'll bet *you* weren't a happy camper."
"Neither was anybody in his flight path," said Evan. "He wound up
choking on a cruller."
"Rrrrr! Now he's flirting with *Tabby*... *Ew*."
"Tabitha flirts with anything that stands up to pee," said Ray.
"Ignore it. The rest of the world does."
"Hmph," said Kitty. "I am *so* totally putting a stink bomb in his
like, locker."
Kurt had his dangerous-mood-smirk on. "Why stop at a stink bomb?" he
asked.
"*Uh*-oh..." Evan scooched away. "I'm *not* going to be involved.
Whatever it is, count me out. There is *no* way I am helping you guys.
Never. At least, never again."
Amanda was smirking, too. "You know," she said, "if I didn't trust you
implicitly, I'd start thinking you were dallying with Kitty behind my
back..."
"Good thing I'm trustworthy, ja?" He kissed his way up her arm and
settled in for an olympic-style neck-nuzzle.
"Stop that," Amanda giggled. "You need to eat, too."
Kitty tried the Kosher meal. It was actually quite nice. And she
didn't feel *too* evil after eating meat. Maybe Kurt, Amanda and her gym
teacher had a point.
That afternoon, Lance had to get some stuff out of his locker. He'd
been having a good day, right up until that point. All he really
recalled of the actual event was the sight of something coming at him at
warp nine and the smell of several dead skunks permeating the air.
There was a noise that was best described as, {Pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpblth!}
as approximately two kilos of noodles hit his head, and the stench of a
mega-stink bomb began to pervade the atmosphere.
Lance took a deep breath - something of a mistake, really - and
yelled, "*PIETRO*!"
Everyone else just laughed.
It was hours later that he found the little note taped to his locker
door. After he'd finally extracted a wet, gooshy noodle from his left
ear. It read, in Kitty's neat handwriting, "Congratulations! You've been
dropped! So long, loser."
Oh, *fab*...