Part 15 ^_^
It was a fun time, sure, but it was one of the weirdest dates in the
history of mutual togetherness.
Kurt took Amanda to all the best places. Paid for everything. But at
the same time, he barely touched her. It was strange.
They finally found the time to talk in a park.
"Okay," she began. "Something's more than up with you. You've hardly
even cuddled me all evening. What happened? Did you give me up for lent
or something?"
He looked - bleak. As if his world was ending. "Maybe we'd better sit
somewhere."
It was bad news. She *knew* it was bad news. Amanda sat.
Kurt placed himself next to her. "I've been thinking a lot about us,
liebe. Maybe your Vater is right. Maybe we should stick with our own
kind."
"Our own *kind*? Kurt - my Daddy threatened me with two month's of
being grounded just for going on this date. I don't *care* what people
think about us."
Now he looked like he wanted to die. "Amanda, please. This is hard
enough as it is."
Tears fell from her eyes and she didn't really notice.
"I love you. I do. I think I might even love you forever. But -- you
deserve better than to be hated for who you choose."
"...kurt?" her voice had gone small and weak.
"Mixed colour marriages - they rarely work. And that's ordinary
colours like brown and beige. I'm *blue*. If people don't hate you for
being with a 'Cracker', they'll despise you for being with a mutie."
"Kurt, I already said I don't care. The world can go chase itself, or
worse, as far as *I* care."
Kurt sighed. "It's just the two of us, now. But what about later? What
about children? Could you stand watching hundreds upon hundreds of
others screaming in fear when they see our babies? Could you stand
watching our children's hearts break when they realise they're not like
everyone else? Could you put up with people wanting to *hurt* them? Just
because of how they look?" Another sigh, a long pause where he sought
the meaning of life in a flower. "It nearly killed *my* Mama. It turned
her hair grey. Every time we meet up again, for the holidays, she nearly
crushes the breath out of me... and she weeps."
God, this hurt... "We don't have to break up because of that. We can
work something out. Go somewhere. Use a ton of holowatches. Something.
*Anything*..."
"Liebchen - you deserve someone who doesn't have to hide who they are.
I'm sorry. I am. You should have a better life than the only one I could
give you."
"Define 'better'," she challenged.
He drew his knees up. "I didn't want to tell you this..." He buried
his head in his folded arms. "There's someone else. Another girl."
"How long?"
Sigh. "Technically speaking, most of my life. Love or not, I have
promises to keep. I never thought she'd hold me to them, but - she has.
There's nothing I can do."
"Is this some kind of weird, arranged marriage kind of thing?"
"Something like that. I know not the English. Coloured letters...
Ach..." He sighed. "I can't do anything against her, and she knows it.
Besides, you have a much better chance without your bigot father
grounding you every time you look at me."
"Chance at what?" she asked. "Without you, I have no chance. Hell, I
don't even have a life."
"Evan's kind of sweet on you. Your father would approve..."
"And in a way, we'd still kind of get to see each other."
"Ja," said Kurt. "Look, but don't touch."
They both sat and stared at the flowers. The beauty of the scene in
front of them was like a desolate landscape to them.
"Do I get a goodbye kiss?" she asked. "A final taste of what I'm
missing?"
"No. I can't. I - I promised."
Amanda sighed. "Does she have a name?"
"Jimaine Szardos. We sort of grew up together."
"Do you love her?"
"Things would be easier if I did," he whispered. "I'm sorry, geliebt.
I have to go. You're in enough trouble breaking out of your home. I
don't want to land you in more."
Amanda watched him go. "Goodbye," she whispered. "Geliebt."
Kurt walked home. He always found it difficult to teleport when he was
depressed. He went in the unnoficial side-entrance that some of the
other kids used - a breach in the western wall. Of course, that meant
wriggling through brambles, but Kurt was an expert and others had made a
sort of tunnel by tying branches together with whatever happened to be
handy.
All to avoid Logan breathing down their necks about arrival times and
responsibilities to their teammates.
Kurt did it to avoid anyone asking him how his date went.
He crept into his room from the outside, climbing up the wall to enter
from the balcony. He crossed his room to lock his door, then fell onto
the bed and wept.
His heart and soul were broken, right now. And it hurt like hell.
"I just went for a *walk*," Amanda lied. "I got all this stuff to try
and make me feel better."
"Did it work?" said Daddy.
"Not really," she admitted. "I'll just go back to my room, now," and
she stormed into her little sanctuary. She locked her door to the rest
of the house, then placed the last treasures Kurt got her in places of
pride. Amanda fell onto her bed and wept.
He still loved her, and he was going with this other girl who was
probably more like a sister because of some promise she was holding him
to. It was sick. He was a perfect gentleman about it. Honourable and
gentle and kind and...
It hurt like hell.
{Knock knock}
That had to be Scott. Everyone else rattled the doorknob first, owing
to his habit of leaving the door unlocked.
"Hey, Kurt, you in there?"
"...go 'way," he said. "Le' me alone."
{rattle rattle rattle} "Damnit..." a sigh. "Look, you've missed dinner
and Amara said you've been locked in there since lunchtime. You know
it's not good for you to miss meals."
_Ha. Like I care any more._ "I'm not hungry."
"Do you feel sick?"
_In a way..._ "I'm not sick."
"So something's up. What was it? F-word?"
_Freak,_ Kurt thought.
"N-word?"
_Nazi,_ he translated.
"D-word?"
_Demon..._
"Come on, gimmie a hint, here. We're worried about you."
Spite and bile rose and came out of his mouth in the form of words.
"You're just worried I'll *expose* you," he said. "You're not really
worried about *me*."
"That's not true."
"Prove it," Kurt demanded.
{Knock knock knock knock knock} "Come *on*, Kurt... At least open the
door. I don't want to have an argument with a piece of wood." {Knock
knock knock knock knock} "This is about Amanda, isn't it?"
Just the mention of her name made him turn his face into his pillow
and weep anew.
"Kurt?" {Knock knock knock rattle rattle knock knock} "Kurt! Damnit...
Let me *in*." {Thump thump thump thump *KICK*} "Fine. We'll do this the
hard way."
Kurt wept alone in the dark. Let him try. He'd locked all means of
access to his room, and shut the curtains for good measure. Couldn't
Scott take a hint? The last thing Kurt wanted right now was a bunch of
stickybeaks invading his misery.
Kurt's room was totally dark. Kitty only knew she was free of the door
by feel alone. Were it not for his habitual neatness, she'd have been
afraid to solidify.
She could see nothing but black, and the faint glow of his clock-
radio, but she still decided to leave the lights off. Darkness was a
friend to Kurt. He'd always said as much.
"I'm here," she murmured. "Just in case you wanna like, talk."
"...go 'way," his voice was soft and thick with emotion. "Le' me
alone." And then all she heard was the soft sounds of a broken heart.
"Kurt," she said, "you like, need to eat."
More sobs. "Go 'way."
"Is it Amanda? Did she like, break it off with you?"
"Nein." A sigh. "I had to break it off with her."
"What? *Why*?"
More weeping in the dark. "You couldn't understand."
{Thump thump thump thump thump} "*Ku-urt*," Scott called. "You've got
a 'phone call. Some girl calling herself Jimaine."
Kitty could have sworn Kurt muffled a scream of pure anguish in his
pillow.
The next thing she heard was the click of Kurt unlocking his door. She
was nearly blinded by the hall light.
It was a fun time, sure, but it was one of the weirdest dates in the
history of mutual togetherness.
Kurt took Amanda to all the best places. Paid for everything. But at
the same time, he barely touched her. It was strange.
They finally found the time to talk in a park.
"Okay," she began. "Something's more than up with you. You've hardly
even cuddled me all evening. What happened? Did you give me up for lent
or something?"
He looked - bleak. As if his world was ending. "Maybe we'd better sit
somewhere."
It was bad news. She *knew* it was bad news. Amanda sat.
Kurt placed himself next to her. "I've been thinking a lot about us,
liebe. Maybe your Vater is right. Maybe we should stick with our own
kind."
"Our own *kind*? Kurt - my Daddy threatened me with two month's of
being grounded just for going on this date. I don't *care* what people
think about us."
Now he looked like he wanted to die. "Amanda, please. This is hard
enough as it is."
Tears fell from her eyes and she didn't really notice.
"I love you. I do. I think I might even love you forever. But -- you
deserve better than to be hated for who you choose."
"...kurt?" her voice had gone small and weak.
"Mixed colour marriages - they rarely work. And that's ordinary
colours like brown and beige. I'm *blue*. If people don't hate you for
being with a 'Cracker', they'll despise you for being with a mutie."
"Kurt, I already said I don't care. The world can go chase itself, or
worse, as far as *I* care."
Kurt sighed. "It's just the two of us, now. But what about later? What
about children? Could you stand watching hundreds upon hundreds of
others screaming in fear when they see our babies? Could you stand
watching our children's hearts break when they realise they're not like
everyone else? Could you put up with people wanting to *hurt* them? Just
because of how they look?" Another sigh, a long pause where he sought
the meaning of life in a flower. "It nearly killed *my* Mama. It turned
her hair grey. Every time we meet up again, for the holidays, she nearly
crushes the breath out of me... and she weeps."
God, this hurt... "We don't have to break up because of that. We can
work something out. Go somewhere. Use a ton of holowatches. Something.
*Anything*..."
"Liebchen - you deserve someone who doesn't have to hide who they are.
I'm sorry. I am. You should have a better life than the only one I could
give you."
"Define 'better'," she challenged.
He drew his knees up. "I didn't want to tell you this..." He buried
his head in his folded arms. "There's someone else. Another girl."
"How long?"
Sigh. "Technically speaking, most of my life. Love or not, I have
promises to keep. I never thought she'd hold me to them, but - she has.
There's nothing I can do."
"Is this some kind of weird, arranged marriage kind of thing?"
"Something like that. I know not the English. Coloured letters...
Ach..." He sighed. "I can't do anything against her, and she knows it.
Besides, you have a much better chance without your bigot father
grounding you every time you look at me."
"Chance at what?" she asked. "Without you, I have no chance. Hell, I
don't even have a life."
"Evan's kind of sweet on you. Your father would approve..."
"And in a way, we'd still kind of get to see each other."
"Ja," said Kurt. "Look, but don't touch."
They both sat and stared at the flowers. The beauty of the scene in
front of them was like a desolate landscape to them.
"Do I get a goodbye kiss?" she asked. "A final taste of what I'm
missing?"
"No. I can't. I - I promised."
Amanda sighed. "Does she have a name?"
"Jimaine Szardos. We sort of grew up together."
"Do you love her?"
"Things would be easier if I did," he whispered. "I'm sorry, geliebt.
I have to go. You're in enough trouble breaking out of your home. I
don't want to land you in more."
Amanda watched him go. "Goodbye," she whispered. "Geliebt."
Kurt walked home. He always found it difficult to teleport when he was
depressed. He went in the unnoficial side-entrance that some of the
other kids used - a breach in the western wall. Of course, that meant
wriggling through brambles, but Kurt was an expert and others had made a
sort of tunnel by tying branches together with whatever happened to be
handy.
All to avoid Logan breathing down their necks about arrival times and
responsibilities to their teammates.
Kurt did it to avoid anyone asking him how his date went.
He crept into his room from the outside, climbing up the wall to enter
from the balcony. He crossed his room to lock his door, then fell onto
the bed and wept.
His heart and soul were broken, right now. And it hurt like hell.
"I just went for a *walk*," Amanda lied. "I got all this stuff to try
and make me feel better."
"Did it work?" said Daddy.
"Not really," she admitted. "I'll just go back to my room, now," and
she stormed into her little sanctuary. She locked her door to the rest
of the house, then placed the last treasures Kurt got her in places of
pride. Amanda fell onto her bed and wept.
He still loved her, and he was going with this other girl who was
probably more like a sister because of some promise she was holding him
to. It was sick. He was a perfect gentleman about it. Honourable and
gentle and kind and...
It hurt like hell.
{Knock knock}
That had to be Scott. Everyone else rattled the doorknob first, owing
to his habit of leaving the door unlocked.
"Hey, Kurt, you in there?"
"...go 'way," he said. "Le' me alone."
{rattle rattle rattle} "Damnit..." a sigh. "Look, you've missed dinner
and Amara said you've been locked in there since lunchtime. You know
it's not good for you to miss meals."
_Ha. Like I care any more._ "I'm not hungry."
"Do you feel sick?"
_In a way..._ "I'm not sick."
"So something's up. What was it? F-word?"
_Freak,_ Kurt thought.
"N-word?"
_Nazi,_ he translated.
"D-word?"
_Demon..._
"Come on, gimmie a hint, here. We're worried about you."
Spite and bile rose and came out of his mouth in the form of words.
"You're just worried I'll *expose* you," he said. "You're not really
worried about *me*."
"That's not true."
"Prove it," Kurt demanded.
{Knock knock knock knock knock} "Come *on*, Kurt... At least open the
door. I don't want to have an argument with a piece of wood." {Knock
knock knock knock knock} "This is about Amanda, isn't it?"
Just the mention of her name made him turn his face into his pillow
and weep anew.
"Kurt?" {Knock knock knock rattle rattle knock knock} "Kurt! Damnit...
Let me *in*." {Thump thump thump thump *KICK*} "Fine. We'll do this the
hard way."
Kurt wept alone in the dark. Let him try. He'd locked all means of
access to his room, and shut the curtains for good measure. Couldn't
Scott take a hint? The last thing Kurt wanted right now was a bunch of
stickybeaks invading his misery.
Kurt's room was totally dark. Kitty only knew she was free of the door
by feel alone. Were it not for his habitual neatness, she'd have been
afraid to solidify.
She could see nothing but black, and the faint glow of his clock-
radio, but she still decided to leave the lights off. Darkness was a
friend to Kurt. He'd always said as much.
"I'm here," she murmured. "Just in case you wanna like, talk."
"...go 'way," his voice was soft and thick with emotion. "Le' me
alone." And then all she heard was the soft sounds of a broken heart.
"Kurt," she said, "you like, need to eat."
More sobs. "Go 'way."
"Is it Amanda? Did she like, break it off with you?"
"Nein." A sigh. "I had to break it off with her."
"What? *Why*?"
More weeping in the dark. "You couldn't understand."
{Thump thump thump thump thump} "*Ku-urt*," Scott called. "You've got
a 'phone call. Some girl calling herself Jimaine."
Kitty could have sworn Kurt muffled a scream of pure anguish in his
pillow.
The next thing she heard was the click of Kurt unlocking his door. She
was nearly blinded by the hall light.