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~Somewhere and Nowhere~
She smiled at them. She was so glad that they were safe. They were her family, and the greatest joy in her life. She wished that she could ease their pain, but some things were beyond her control.
She knew that Jamar would make a great head master. He would be firm, yet allow the kids to enjoy their lives as well. He would also make a wonderful father. He would also be paid in spades for the trouble he caused through his own children. They would be a handful.
She could see the future now, and it was so promising for all of them but one. She knew he would not let go. She wanted to tell him to move on, but she no longer had a voice to reach him. She loved him so much, yet there was nothing she could do. It was hard to believe love would not win in their case, but fate seemed to have other plans.
She wondered what was next for her. She had not been told and she did not know. She was lost in this world of mist and time. She did not know what the fates had in mind for her. She sat waiting in the mist, tears flowing from sightless eyes.
A.C.
Charles listened to the noises and realized that all of the group were back except Leilee. He knew that she was safe. He relied more on his feelings lately then his powers, since they never worked when he needed them.
/Penny for your thoughts?/ asked Sammi
/I always thought that it was a rather silly question for a telepath to ask. I was wondering where Leilee was?/ he replied.
/She's getting some advice from a very wise man, sort of.. replied Sammi with a mischievous glint.
/I'm beginning to see the family resemblance./
/You know ya love us. Dad's family is turning out to be more interesting than Scott's.... Are you ready for this? /
/I believe so. I have a feeling Amanda would prefer that either you or Cara spoke./
/Do you want to say anything?/
/I don't know./
A.C.
Cara stood gazing out of one the windows of the Dream Realm's Crystal Castle. Professor Xavier had asked her and Sammi both to speak at the memorial service for Amanda, but Cara was having difficulty putting her thoughts and feelings into words. She didn't feel she could do justice to Amanda's memory.
Jamar came up to stand next to his wife, and wrapped his arms around her waist. Cara turned and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.
"Jamar, I just don't know what to say at the memorial." Cara looked up at her husband, "Words fail me. Nothing I think of can possibly do Amanda justice..."
Cara was interrupted by a gentle kiss from her husband. Jamar pulled back a little, and caressed her face.
"You're not running for office, hon... anything you say at the memorial will be fine, as long as it is from the heart. You'll be fine." he soothed.
Cara smiled at that. Running for office indeed. She and Jamar began walking to the courtyard, where the service was to be held. A sudden flash of blinding light lit up the hall where Cara and Jamar were. When they opened their eyes again, Leilee and Sammi were standing in front of them.
"Leilee! Where have you been?" Cara asked as she hugged Leilee.
Leilee and Sammi looked at each other and grinned.
"We'll tell you later, after the memorial." Sammi replied, "But right now I need to go rebond with my other self. I'll meet up with you in the courtyard." she finished, and with a snap of her fingers and another flash of light, she was gone.
Cara, Jamar and Leilee resumed walking to the courtyard. Leilee stopped, a frown on her face. Cara wrapped one arm around Leilee's shoulders, and asked, "Are you alright?"
Leilee nodded, then shook her head and sighed.
"Physically I'm alright... but..." she paused, and brushed her hair out of her face. "Look, there's something I've gotta do... I'll meet up with you later at the memorial, alright?"
Cara nodded, though she was somewhat confused. Leilee gave her a hug, then teleported away. Cara walked over to Jamar, and walked with him to the courtyard.
Rainfall
"Why did this all happen? Under all circumstances, we should have never met." Amanda asked the void she was in.
"Some things are destined to happen; there is no reason for them. Religion and Faith do not always give answers." a voice replied.
"Am I dead?" She asked.
"That depends on you and them. You are the authors of your own destiny."
"Was this some sort of test? Was it for us? Was it for the X-Men?"
"You all know the answers to the questions you have."
"Will I be with them soon?"
"You are the author of your destiny. Write the ending you want." the voice answered.
Amanda was left to ponder the answers and the questions in silence.
A.C.
A rift opens onto the grounds of the Xavier Estate. A troop of mutants exit as the sky begins to cry. The darkness is fitting even if Storm's pain hadn't affected it.
They all headed towards a spot nestled in the arch of several trees near the cliff. Several boulders were arrayed in different spots. Cara had suggested this spot because it held some emotional attachment for Amanda. The idea for what was about to take place was hers to.
"Jamar and Jonas...Athena and Hope if you would, please begin."
Flames began to encircle the rocks. They wove back and forth creating patterns, the steam rising from the rain meeting unquenchable fire. As the flames die, a structure resembling a gazebo stands before them. There's an empty section left at four key points. Jonas raises his hand commanding the earth. With that, Sand begins to swirl around the structure before being flash-burnt into glass. Within the glass are images of nature made from the essence of life.
With a wave, Storm commands the sky to clear. Hope bows her head, concentrating as ivy and flowers surround the memorial. Light hitting the glass sends rainbow light everywhere.
Jamar nods for Cara to begin. She walks into the midst of friends and family...all are family to her. She takes in everything, feeling their sorrow, letting it filter through her... letting the day forever be etched in her memory.
Chaos
Amanda pondered what she had been told. Did the voice mean something in the cryptic message? Was there something she was supposed to remember?
She was the author of her own fate. Did this mean she had the power to change it? Could she rewrite what had happened to her? She wasn't ready to die. She had just begun to enjoy life. It was too soon for it all to end.
For the first time in her life, she had friends who cared for her and someone who loved her. She couldn't let it all end. The images were flashing through her head of the last few years. She remembered the costume party, the water fight, the weddings, the get-togethers, her proposal. She wasn't ready for it to end.
/I don't want to die. I want to live/ She thought, /Please, I need help. Cara, Sammi, Jonas, Jamar, Charles, I need your help./
A.C.
Amanda listens as she watches the scenes speed up and multiply.
Jamar becomes lost in his thoughts, remembering a time when his mind was not whole.
((
JAMAR: There are too many minds..too much information. I can't deal with it. It's like reality is swallowing me whole.
AMANDA: Jamar, you're the one in control. Your mind is another reality, and 'reality is what we make it'.
))
"...REALITY IS WHAT WE MAKE IT!"
The voice continues, then dissipates like mist.
Chaos
Cara gazed around her at the people who had come to mean so much to her. She thought of all they had been through together. Cara took a deep breath, and began to speak.
"I'd like to share a poem, written by James Whitcomb Riley.
"I cannot say, and I will not say
That she is dead. She is just away.
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
She has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since she lingers there.
And you--oh, you, who the wildest yearn
For an old-time step, and the glad return,
Think of her faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here.
Think of her still as the same. I say,
She is not dead--she is just away."
Cara took a shaky breath, and continued.
"We have all been through so much together; joy and gladness, pain and sorrow... We all shared grief in the deaths of our loved ones, and we rejoiced in their fond returns."
"In every struggle, we faced insurmountable odds... obstacles which we couldn't have overcome alone, we overcame together. And though the odds were against us in every turn, we all miraculously managed to survive... all that is, except for one."
"Amanda Cross was more than a leader. She was a friend, a sister, to all of us. We were her family... and she was ours. There was a time in my life when I doubted that I could make it." Cara said, as she remembered her faceoff with Anon. "Amanda knew of my pain, my struggles, and she was there to help me when the cards were down."
Cara's gulped, and looked around her. Then she said in a voice which threatened to break, "I can't help but feel that I failed her... I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most..." Cara's voice finally broke, as large tears spilled out of her eyes.
~My child, you and the others can be there for her now...~ spoke a familiar silvery voice from out of the gloom.
Rainfall
Sammi listened to Cara's poem quietly. She knew that she had to speak next, but for some reason her mind kept telling her that she had to help someone. In fact, she felt like someone was calling to her asking for help. The feeling was intensifying every second.
Charles was trying to focus on what was being said, but for some reason his mind was being drawn away. He could almost feel another presence calling to him, but the voice was so soft, it was like the wind.
A.C.
Cara swiped at the tears on her face, as she wondered what the voice had meant. How could they be there for Amanda, when she was already gone? she wondered.
Cara looked around her. Jamar, Sammi and Xavier all seemed distracted, and many of the other guests were unsettled as well... each seemed as though they were straining to hear some far off sound. Cara strained her own ears, yet heard nothing.
~Listen not with your ears, my child, but with your heart...~ came the silvery voice once again into Cara's mind.
Listen with my heart, not with my ears... okay, I'll give it a shot, thought Cara.
Cara closed her eyes, and shut out the physical world around her. She concentrated until she could hear her own heartbeat, its steady rythm blocking out all other sound. With her hearing and sight thus blocked, all Cara was now aware of were the emotions swirling around her.
She felt them all; the agony and sadness of losing a loved one, the bitterness of those who felt they could have done more. Cara sorted through them all, filtering through the emotions until she found one different than the others... one which seemed to come from far away.
She reached outward with her empathic senses, concentrating all her powers on that one emotion... straining to hear and understand.
As silent and soft as a breeze, Cara heard someone calling, reaching out to them all.
~I don't want to die. I want to live! Please, I need help. Cara, Sammi, Jonas, Jamar, Charles, I need your help.~
"Amanda!" Cara gasped.
Rainfall
Amanda was beginning to feel discouraged. She didn't know if she was reaching her friends or not. She knew she had to get to them. She needed their help, but she didn't know how to reach them.
/Amanda!/ gasped Cara.
~Cara, Can you hear me? I need your help. I'm not dead yet.~
Amanda tried to say more, but the mist around her had seemed to grow denser. She couldn't sense her friends anymore. Amanda knew that everything depended on them now.
A.C.
/Cara, Can you hear me? I need your help. I'm not dead yet./ echoed Amanda's voice in Cara's mind.
Cara's eyes flung open, and her breath came in short gasps. She could feel Amanda being pulled further away. Waves of emotion crashed against Cara's senses; feelings of desperation and loneliness assaulted her on all sides, striking her to the core.
"NO!!! AMANDA!" Cara cried out. "Amanda, don't go!"
Cara grabbed her head with both hands, weaving slightly from side to side before crumpling to the ground, unconscious.
"Cara!" Jamar exclaimed, as he raced to the side of his wife.
Startled murmurings and sounds of confusion arose from the crowd, as various X-Types pressed forward to see what was wrong with Cara.
"Stand back, people... give her some air," ordered Eric, as he moved to his sister's side.
Jamar knelt on the ground, and scooped Cara up in his arms. Cara's face was deathly pale, and beads of perspiration dotted her forehead.
"Come on, luv, wake up... open those big, beautiful red eyes of yours... you don't want to worry me and all these wonderful people now, do you?" Jamar urged, as he softly brushed the hair out of Cara's face.
Cara let out a small moan. Her eyes fluttered briefly, before opening and focusing on the worried eyes of Jamar. She smiled tiredly and gently touched his cheek.
"I'm alright, hon..." she said, then looked around at the worried crowd. "Just help me stand up, okay?" she asked.
Jamar did as she asked, and pulled her to her feet. Cara wavered slightly; but quickly caught her balance, and turned toward Xavier.
Xavier stared at Cara, a look of pain-filled hope written on his face. He'd heard what Cara said... he'd heard her yell out for Amanda not to go. The occurrence shocked him... for during the memorial service, Xavier had felt Amanda's presence.
But it had been so brief, so soft like the wind, that Xavier wasn't sure he'd really felt it. Now it seemed as though he wasn't the only one to have sensed her presence... which meant there was the possibility that what he'd felt was real... that Amanda really was calling out to him. Could it be? Was it possible? That his beloved was still... Alive?!?
"Cara, what happened?" Xavier asked, trying gain control of his emotions.
Cara took shaky breath, then said, "It's Amanda... I heard her calling to me, to all of us. She's not dead, Professor... she's alive, and needs our help!"
Rainfall
Sammi had heard the voice and knew it was Amanda; when the others rushed to Cara's side, Sammi stayed where she was. She was deep in meditation, trying to find the answers that all of them were searching for, but hitting a wall, so to speak.
//Zeus, help, me find my friend. I know she needs my help, I have to find her. Help me, please.// Sammi whispered to herself as she went deeper into her mediation.
Jubilee_79
The mist cleared again, and Amanda found herself in her bedroom. The strange thing was that it wasn't the one in her apartment or her mansion. It was the one she had lived in when she first met the X-Men. As she looked at the familiar surroundings, she spotted her younger self at the computer, typing. Slowly she approached the figure and saw what she was typing. It was a story called Reality Bites.
~Do you remember typing this story?~ asked a voice.
/Yes, I didn't think anyone would join in. I thought the idea was a little farfetched./
~But people did.~
/Yes. Sammi, Cara, Jamar, Jonas, Leilee, Maria, Ryan, And Teb./
~The question now remains which came first: the story, or the adventure?~
/I don't understand. I started the story because I had flashbacks from our adventure...Didn't I?/
~Perhaps, or maybe this another dream, A sequel, if you will. What you have experienced is the sequel to your story.~
/You mean none of this may be real. Anon, Nightmare, and The X-men are real. Charles.../
~This is all a story in your head.~
/No, I don't believe you./
~You didn't believe me before. You went back to your dream.~
/You were the voice that told me to go back home after Anon nearly destroyed me on the astral plane./
~Yes. You took a chance and lost more. You woke up. None of it was real. You wrote the story.~
/NO! You're wrong, like the last time. You are trying to trick me again. You know I can get back. You know I am not dead, and you want to keep me from my friends./
~You didn't believe me before, yet you woke up. What makes you think I'm lying now?~ the voice stated.
Amanda stared at the figure. It was right before. She had woken up from the dream. Was she right now? Was this just a dream?
/I don't know what I believe./ she whispered.
The voice smiled.
A.C.