Parody : Galadriel's mirror
I'll say it again, this is a parody ! Do NOT take it seriously.
Frodo was sleeping peacefully in a Lorien hut when he felt a hand on his cheek.
He immediately opened his eyes to see Sam just in front of him. He was wearing bright pink lingerie and lipstick. He was staring at Frodon with seductive eyes.
« Hi Frodo, went me to stay with you tonight ? Just to get those orcs off your mind... » he asked.
« Sam ! For the last time, IM NOT GAY !!! Now leave me alone !! » Frodo shouted back.
Sam made sad puppy dog eyes...
« Listen, if you really want to get fucked, go ask Merry or Pippin. » Frodo added.
And Frodo left the hut, leaving Sam crying.
Frodo was walking around when he saw Lady Galadriel, he followed her.
She went down some stairs but got her feet caught in her dress and she fell down the steps.
She landed on her butt and got up almost immediately. Frodo couldn't help but throw his head back laughing and point out Galadriel with his finger.
« She fell down the stairs !! She fell down the stairs !!! »
Galadriel glared at him after desperately trying to get all her hair out of her face.
« Stop laughing you stupid little hobbit!! »
And the expression on her face soften :
« Come, ring bearer... »
And as Frodo went down the steps, Galadriel made a banana skin appear out of nowhere and Frodo slipped on it and fell down the stairs too.
« Hahaha !! Frodo fell down the stairs ! Frodo fell down the stairs !!!! »
Frodo looked at her with dark eyes.
« Ok, not funny. Let's get to serious business... Do you wish to look into the mirror ? » She asked.
« Well I don't know, what will I see ? I mean I don't want to have any bad surprises, but I...
- Yes or no ? Just one word !
- But...
- NO BUTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST YES OR NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! »
She was really getting mad so Frodo though it would be best to say no.
« Heu... No...
- What ?! Why not ? You can't say no, it's for the story, you must say yes !!
- But. You said I could...
- JUST LOOK IN THAT DAMNED MIRROR AND SHUT UP !!!!!!!!!!
- Ok, no need to shout...
Galadriel took a silver container and filled it with water, then she turned to Frodo to speak to him and poured the water.
« In the mirror you shall see...
-Euh... Sorry to interrupt you, but aren't you meant to pour the water in that silver plate instead of on the floor? Maybe you should look at what you' re doing instead of watching me. I mean i know im cute but.
- I don't need advice from a stupid little hobbit !!!!!!!!! The water was... well... euh... meant to go on the floor...
- Why ?
- To...euh...purify it ! Yeah that's it, to purify it ! »
She takes some more water and this time she looks at what she's doing and pours it in the silver plate.
« Now look in the mirror... »
Frodo opened his mouth to talk...
« ...Silently !!!!!!! And please stop thinking about fucking Legolas, don't forget i can read your mind. »
Frodo went bright red.
« I wonder how Sam would react if he knew you worshipped and loved that elf prince, well i must say he has a really sweet little ass...
- Please don't tell Sam !! He would try to kill Legolas if he knew !
Galadriel just grinned.
Frodo walked up to the mirror and saw nothing.
« Hey ! I can't see anything !!
- Get closer.» she whispered.
Frodo got his nose closer, sniffed a few times and stood back up.
« You put sneezing powder in 'ATCHOUM' that plate ! You're a 'ATCHOUM' elf queen but 'ATCHOUM' you're so 'ATCHOUM' childish !!!!!
- Hahahahaha !! Ok I'll get it off, I thought hobbits had a good sense of humor.
- This is not 'ATCHOUM' funny ! How the hell do you 'ATCHOUM' want to me to look in your 'ATCHOUM' mirror if I can't stop sneezing !!!!
-Ok, I'll make it stop. »
She did a little twist of hand and the sneezing stopped.
« Is that better ? Now please look in the mirror !!!! »
Frodo looked again and what he saw horrified him:
Legolas was doing dirty things with Sam and Aragorn !!!!! They were having so much pleasure the 3 of them!!!! Without Frodo !!!! Then he saw Sam with a really big belly !!!!! He was pregnant !!!!! And the last thing he saw was Legolas and Aragorn kissing lovingly.
« Oh my GOD !!!! Without me !!!! The little bastards !!!!
- You dirty little hobbit, is Legolas and his ass the only thing you can think about !!!!!! Yes, he loves Aragorn and Aragorn loves him !!! It's not my fault. Oh, poor Arwen.
- Who cares about Arwen ! They love each other ! And Sam ? I shouldn't have been so nasty with him, he's mine ! There is no way he's going with Legolas or Aragorn !! I'll go find him ! Thanks for your mirror Galadriel ! »
And Frodo ran off to find Sam.
« Oh. Isn't that cute », Galadriel said to herself, « two hobbits who love each other, I'm such a good matchmaker ! As for Legolas and Aragorn, well I'm happy Legolas found someone he really loves, too bad he's just a human. Well I'll go see how my little Celeborn's doing. »
And she walked off ( watching carefully her steps when she went up the stairs ) to find her dear husband.
This night, the elves of Lorien, could hear with their delicate, pointed ears the pleasure moans of two hobbits, one elf, one human, a queen elf and a king elf who did it all night.
Tomorrow, there's going to be a lot things to talk over breakfast.
END
Please Read and Review *************************
I'll say it again, this is a parody ! Do NOT take it seriously.
Frodo was sleeping peacefully in a Lorien hut when he felt a hand on his cheek.
He immediately opened his eyes to see Sam just in front of him. He was wearing bright pink lingerie and lipstick. He was staring at Frodon with seductive eyes.
« Hi Frodo, went me to stay with you tonight ? Just to get those orcs off your mind... » he asked.
« Sam ! For the last time, IM NOT GAY !!! Now leave me alone !! » Frodo shouted back.
Sam made sad puppy dog eyes...
« Listen, if you really want to get fucked, go ask Merry or Pippin. » Frodo added.
And Frodo left the hut, leaving Sam crying.
Frodo was walking around when he saw Lady Galadriel, he followed her.
She went down some stairs but got her feet caught in her dress and she fell down the steps.
She landed on her butt and got up almost immediately. Frodo couldn't help but throw his head back laughing and point out Galadriel with his finger.
« She fell down the stairs !! She fell down the stairs !!! »
Galadriel glared at him after desperately trying to get all her hair out of her face.
« Stop laughing you stupid little hobbit!! »
And the expression on her face soften :
« Come, ring bearer... »
And as Frodo went down the steps, Galadriel made a banana skin appear out of nowhere and Frodo slipped on it and fell down the stairs too.
« Hahaha !! Frodo fell down the stairs ! Frodo fell down the stairs !!!! »
Frodo looked at her with dark eyes.
« Ok, not funny. Let's get to serious business... Do you wish to look into the mirror ? » She asked.
« Well I don't know, what will I see ? I mean I don't want to have any bad surprises, but I...
- Yes or no ? Just one word !
- But...
- NO BUTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST YES OR NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! »
She was really getting mad so Frodo though it would be best to say no.
« Heu... No...
- What ?! Why not ? You can't say no, it's for the story, you must say yes !!
- But. You said I could...
- JUST LOOK IN THAT DAMNED MIRROR AND SHUT UP !!!!!!!!!!
- Ok, no need to shout...
Galadriel took a silver container and filled it with water, then she turned to Frodo to speak to him and poured the water.
« In the mirror you shall see...
-Euh... Sorry to interrupt you, but aren't you meant to pour the water in that silver plate instead of on the floor? Maybe you should look at what you' re doing instead of watching me. I mean i know im cute but.
- I don't need advice from a stupid little hobbit !!!!!!!!! The water was... well... euh... meant to go on the floor...
- Why ?
- To...euh...purify it ! Yeah that's it, to purify it ! »
She takes some more water and this time she looks at what she's doing and pours it in the silver plate.
« Now look in the mirror... »
Frodo opened his mouth to talk...
« ...Silently !!!!!!! And please stop thinking about fucking Legolas, don't forget i can read your mind. »
Frodo went bright red.
« I wonder how Sam would react if he knew you worshipped and loved that elf prince, well i must say he has a really sweet little ass...
- Please don't tell Sam !! He would try to kill Legolas if he knew !
Galadriel just grinned.
Frodo walked up to the mirror and saw nothing.
« Hey ! I can't see anything !!
- Get closer.» she whispered.
Frodo got his nose closer, sniffed a few times and stood back up.
« You put sneezing powder in 'ATCHOUM' that plate ! You're a 'ATCHOUM' elf queen but 'ATCHOUM' you're so 'ATCHOUM' childish !!!!!
- Hahahahaha !! Ok I'll get it off, I thought hobbits had a good sense of humor.
- This is not 'ATCHOUM' funny ! How the hell do you 'ATCHOUM' want to me to look in your 'ATCHOUM' mirror if I can't stop sneezing !!!!
-Ok, I'll make it stop. »
She did a little twist of hand and the sneezing stopped.
« Is that better ? Now please look in the mirror !!!! »
Frodo looked again and what he saw horrified him:
Legolas was doing dirty things with Sam and Aragorn !!!!! They were having so much pleasure the 3 of them!!!! Without Frodo !!!! Then he saw Sam with a really big belly !!!!! He was pregnant !!!!! And the last thing he saw was Legolas and Aragorn kissing lovingly.
« Oh my GOD !!!! Without me !!!! The little bastards !!!!
- You dirty little hobbit, is Legolas and his ass the only thing you can think about !!!!!! Yes, he loves Aragorn and Aragorn loves him !!! It's not my fault. Oh, poor Arwen.
- Who cares about Arwen ! They love each other ! And Sam ? I shouldn't have been so nasty with him, he's mine ! There is no way he's going with Legolas or Aragorn !! I'll go find him ! Thanks for your mirror Galadriel ! »
And Frodo ran off to find Sam.
« Oh. Isn't that cute », Galadriel said to herself, « two hobbits who love each other, I'm such a good matchmaker ! As for Legolas and Aragorn, well I'm happy Legolas found someone he really loves, too bad he's just a human. Well I'll go see how my little Celeborn's doing. »
And she walked off ( watching carefully her steps when she went up the stairs ) to find her dear husband.
This night, the elves of Lorien, could hear with their delicate, pointed ears the pleasure moans of two hobbits, one elf, one human, a queen elf and a king elf who did it all night.
Tomorrow, there's going to be a lot things to talk over breakfast.
END
Please Read and Review *************************