I'm You Not Me But He Is I
Chapter One Philosophy
Takato. Takato. What a name. Takato.
I held up my hands to my face and studied the lines. Where did they come from? I scrunched my eyebrows and I cupped my hands a little to see the lines crease. My eyes widened a bit; is that how the lines came about, by folding hands? Heh. What a wonder.
I always thought everything was a wonder. Sometimes I think that I'll grow up to be a philosopher. I always wondered what the purpose of life was. I had many answers, but all of them were forgotten due to denial that they would ever be the right ones. Although, one answer that stayed with me was by far the weirdest, but strangely the most believable to me.
To me, it seemed as if I was the only real live person in this whole world. It's not sad to think that I may be alone, but it's rather intriguing.
What of everybody else? I often thought that they were robots or something. I mean, if I thought I was the only real human being in flesh, what else could everybody be? And if there were other real people out there (and I would like to think there're only a few), I would feel some kind of connection to them. It's not like that love at first sight thing; I am a firm disbeliever in that. It's more like, you see yourself in their eyes once you meet them. it's like, um, like. I don't know how it's like! I just know that we are somehow just one person and different people at the same time. It's strange, I know; I think of the strangest things.
But what would be stranger is if my thoughts turned out to be true. What if there were really people out there like me? What if everybody else were just robots? Ahh, these thoughts run through my head so fast that it makes me feel dizzy.
I think of the strangest things; things like life, like fantasy, like Takato. Hmm. I wonder.
_ =^= _
Besides wondering, I also do a lot of hiding. No, not like hide and go seek. more like bottling up my emotions, thoughts, and secrets until at some point I have to explode, the eruption of feelings hurting everyone else around me.
I'm not a big-hearted person, worrying about everyone else around me; I don't care if people around me get hurt. Not like that girl Juri. I roll my eyes. She may be strong at some level, defending people when they're vulnerable, but from way up here in my position, she is one of the weakest people I've ever laid my eyes upon. She's so weak she has to rely on that sock puppet of hers to speak for her. And those tears, those tears of hers are always so generous when people get the slightest tremor in their bodies, which is now a usual occurrence because of the horrible winter.
As for me, I don't care about hurting people as long as I get what I want. And it's not often I want something so badly, so it must be real important if I'm willing to risk a life or two.
I frowned at the mirror, and my reflection shot back an ugly face. Ten year olds aren't supposed to be thinking about these things. Ten? Only ten years I have been living this miserable life?
I shook my head, disapproving my exaggerations. I do that a lot, too, making things seem worse than they are, aside from wondering. My life isn't miserable compared to the thousands, millions of people living in third- world countries who are asking why they're still alive. Okay, maybe my life is rich compared to theirs, but I'm not rich that I could go and waste the green extravagantly when other people need it.
That's why I'm not exceptionally fond of my mother. She goes out with only a purse - full of money, no doubt - and comes back with armloads of clothes, trinkets, and perfumes that she thinks are necessary for life. Doesn't she know other people would have cringed just to have seen her thoughtlessly gather those expensive clothes and throw them onto her already large pile? One dress suit would probably cost as much as a banquet that would last a poor little village days, even weeks!
I said I didn't care about hurting people, but when I do it, I have important motives. Shopping for clothes isn't one of them.
I look at the mirror again. My eyes are full of anger that has no real reason to be there. My mother should never be a cause of any of my emotions. I just get so fired about these things that I can't help but blow up. Of course, I don't lose my self-control so easily. When I bottle up my emotions, I don't carelessly expose them to others; I wait until I am alone to release my pent up frustrations.
Outside, the sky is getting dark, and the last, dying rays of the sun escape into my half-open door. I stand up from my vanity and slide into my bed.
Another day has gone by with me just sitting here, wasting my time on myself. If only Renamon were here, then we'd have already left early in the morning, off towards the forbidden football fields behind the school closed for the winter where we'd practice and practice and practice and practice.
_ =^= _
I don't know how long I'd slept, but when the noise awoke me, it was completely dark. The noise continued, its proprietor unaware it had woken up someone.
Ruki was fully awake now, sitting up on her mat and tense. Something is outside my house!
She never thought to call for her grandmother, far less her mother, but instead got up and crept toward the door. She carefully peeked around, allowing only her unkempt hair and alert eyes out into the cold. Whatever it was, she was prepared and had her defenses up.
Usually Ruki wasn't easily scared, but what she saw startled her very much.
***_ =^= _ ***
Author's notes: Well, there's the story. I've only edited it a bit, so if you want to be my editor, feel free to be. My e-mail and screen name are in my info.
Let's hope this time I actually continue the fic. Look at my Harry Potter story! What a shame =( Maybe I am up to writing more chapters for it.
Ehh, I think this chapter Ruki is a bit OOC with staring at her hands. It's what I do, actually. But no fear! If I actually get a good editor, Ruki will be in character in no time! XD
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I don't even know why I'm putting this up; unless the real creators and owners like to prowl and write for fan fiction sites, I highly doubt that everybody needs to read this stuff over and over again. Although, Takato wouldn't be a bad addition to my collection XD
Next chapter preview: So, what's that thing outside Ruki's house? Why was she startled? I'm afraid I can't reveal much in this li'l ol' preview! =) Until next time!
Chapter One Philosophy
Takato. Takato. What a name. Takato.
I held up my hands to my face and studied the lines. Where did they come from? I scrunched my eyebrows and I cupped my hands a little to see the lines crease. My eyes widened a bit; is that how the lines came about, by folding hands? Heh. What a wonder.
I always thought everything was a wonder. Sometimes I think that I'll grow up to be a philosopher. I always wondered what the purpose of life was. I had many answers, but all of them were forgotten due to denial that they would ever be the right ones. Although, one answer that stayed with me was by far the weirdest, but strangely the most believable to me.
To me, it seemed as if I was the only real live person in this whole world. It's not sad to think that I may be alone, but it's rather intriguing.
What of everybody else? I often thought that they were robots or something. I mean, if I thought I was the only real human being in flesh, what else could everybody be? And if there were other real people out there (and I would like to think there're only a few), I would feel some kind of connection to them. It's not like that love at first sight thing; I am a firm disbeliever in that. It's more like, you see yourself in their eyes once you meet them. it's like, um, like. I don't know how it's like! I just know that we are somehow just one person and different people at the same time. It's strange, I know; I think of the strangest things.
But what would be stranger is if my thoughts turned out to be true. What if there were really people out there like me? What if everybody else were just robots? Ahh, these thoughts run through my head so fast that it makes me feel dizzy.
I think of the strangest things; things like life, like fantasy, like Takato. Hmm. I wonder.
_ =^= _
Besides wondering, I also do a lot of hiding. No, not like hide and go seek. more like bottling up my emotions, thoughts, and secrets until at some point I have to explode, the eruption of feelings hurting everyone else around me.
I'm not a big-hearted person, worrying about everyone else around me; I don't care if people around me get hurt. Not like that girl Juri. I roll my eyes. She may be strong at some level, defending people when they're vulnerable, but from way up here in my position, she is one of the weakest people I've ever laid my eyes upon. She's so weak she has to rely on that sock puppet of hers to speak for her. And those tears, those tears of hers are always so generous when people get the slightest tremor in their bodies, which is now a usual occurrence because of the horrible winter.
As for me, I don't care about hurting people as long as I get what I want. And it's not often I want something so badly, so it must be real important if I'm willing to risk a life or two.
I frowned at the mirror, and my reflection shot back an ugly face. Ten year olds aren't supposed to be thinking about these things. Ten? Only ten years I have been living this miserable life?
I shook my head, disapproving my exaggerations. I do that a lot, too, making things seem worse than they are, aside from wondering. My life isn't miserable compared to the thousands, millions of people living in third- world countries who are asking why they're still alive. Okay, maybe my life is rich compared to theirs, but I'm not rich that I could go and waste the green extravagantly when other people need it.
That's why I'm not exceptionally fond of my mother. She goes out with only a purse - full of money, no doubt - and comes back with armloads of clothes, trinkets, and perfumes that she thinks are necessary for life. Doesn't she know other people would have cringed just to have seen her thoughtlessly gather those expensive clothes and throw them onto her already large pile? One dress suit would probably cost as much as a banquet that would last a poor little village days, even weeks!
I said I didn't care about hurting people, but when I do it, I have important motives. Shopping for clothes isn't one of them.
I look at the mirror again. My eyes are full of anger that has no real reason to be there. My mother should never be a cause of any of my emotions. I just get so fired about these things that I can't help but blow up. Of course, I don't lose my self-control so easily. When I bottle up my emotions, I don't carelessly expose them to others; I wait until I am alone to release my pent up frustrations.
Outside, the sky is getting dark, and the last, dying rays of the sun escape into my half-open door. I stand up from my vanity and slide into my bed.
Another day has gone by with me just sitting here, wasting my time on myself. If only Renamon were here, then we'd have already left early in the morning, off towards the forbidden football fields behind the school closed for the winter where we'd practice and practice and practice and practice.
_ =^= _
I don't know how long I'd slept, but when the noise awoke me, it was completely dark. The noise continued, its proprietor unaware it had woken up someone.
Ruki was fully awake now, sitting up on her mat and tense. Something is outside my house!
She never thought to call for her grandmother, far less her mother, but instead got up and crept toward the door. She carefully peeked around, allowing only her unkempt hair and alert eyes out into the cold. Whatever it was, she was prepared and had her defenses up.
Usually Ruki wasn't easily scared, but what she saw startled her very much.
***_ =^= _ ***
Author's notes: Well, there's the story. I've only edited it a bit, so if you want to be my editor, feel free to be. My e-mail and screen name are in my info.
Let's hope this time I actually continue the fic. Look at my Harry Potter story! What a shame =( Maybe I am up to writing more chapters for it.
Ehh, I think this chapter Ruki is a bit OOC with staring at her hands. It's what I do, actually. But no fear! If I actually get a good editor, Ruki will be in character in no time! XD
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I don't even know why I'm putting this up; unless the real creators and owners like to prowl and write for fan fiction sites, I highly doubt that everybody needs to read this stuff over and over again. Although, Takato wouldn't be a bad addition to my collection XD
Next chapter preview: So, what's that thing outside Ruki's house? Why was she startled? I'm afraid I can't reveal much in this li'l ol' preview! =) Until next time!