Why do these things always happen to me?

ok, i'm very sorry i didn't update for ages but i was sick for a very very long time gomen^^;;......

Part 7-it just gets worse..
-----
This is so perfect. Smart me was smart enough to get myself fired from the kitchen. I mean, yeah, so i fell backwards when i passed out, which resulted in my back hitting against the the food preparation tables behind me which in turn, caused some sort of domino-action to occur, which finally resulted in all the tables falling one after another and the whole kitchen to look like post-war but still, that's no good reason to fire me right? Think of all the dishes i washed......

Hn.

So now, i'm slowly dragging my sorry ass home. This is bad. Losing two jobs in a wonderful span of less than a month is gonna look really bad on any job application. Not to mention because i only have a Junior High Certificate so there aren't many jobs out there for me to take. Boss also refused to give me my paycheck. He said he was going to use that money to repair the kitchen.

How could i have done that? Why was i so stupid as to fall backwards huh? I should have just fell forward and smashed my face onto the kitchen counter. It would have hurt but at least i would get to keep my job. What am i supposed to do now?

I hate myself.
-----

Its useless. I know its useless to sit here and mope. I know its useless to angst over how depressing the situation is and i know its useless to wait for money to drop from the ceiling but that's exactly what i'm doing now in my lightless flat. It doesn't matter anyway, i'm a useless person. Useless people do useless things. I'm not making sense am i? Nevermind, i told you i'm useless. How can a useless person make sense? Useless and stupid. Only stupid people will lose two jobs in a a month. Only stupid people will leave home just for the sake of some dream' or the other. Only stupid people will think they can make it. Which brings me back to the point of being useless. Useless people can't make it.

I think i'll shut up, i'm confusing myself.
-----

Rukawa Mansion. The Rukawa Mansion. I never thought i'd come back here.

My room. It looks exactly the same as when I left it ; the open cupboard, rumpled bedsheets and all. I pick up my baskteball from the floor. There's a thin sheen of dust covering the top. Well, duh, its been sitting in that same damn spot for almost 3 months.

What an idiotic observation I made.

I twist it around in hand, envisioning all the trauma i had put myself through these past few months, then i hold the orange ball right up to my eye level and glare at it. The things I do for you.....
----

Dad looks just as scary as he did the last time i saw him. There's something so intimidating about him. Maybe its his big frame. Or maybe its the way he glares at me. Or maybe its just because i'm sitting down and he's standing up so he's sort of towering over me and i'm not used to being towered over, what with my height and all.

You've decided to finally come back. If looks could kill, I would be takoyaki by now.

Not exactly, I reply. I came to ask you... He's gonna shout at me, i just know it. ..for my bankbook. I finish.



Told you.

He's lucky i'm the calm, rational sort(ahem!). Its mine anyway, don't i have a right to take it?

His tone is so flat, its almost funny.

Why not? Hate. Thats the word, hate.

You want to go to America, something that is out of your league. When i refused to let you, you rebelled and left the house for 3 months. Nothing of yours that is in this house is going back to you unless you come back home.

Why can't I go to America? What am I supposed to do here?

Carry on the family business.

I'm lucky i wasn't drinking water then, I definately would have spit it across the room. Family business? The family business is so boring. Why would anyone with an IQ level higher than 1 ever want to go into the business of hours and hours of staff meetings discussing the price of a product over days and days of traveling around Asia negotiating with bald business men the merits of having a business partnership with you over months and months of waking up every morning and knowing that your whole day is planned out for you by your trusty secretary over years and years of hearing the phone in your office go beep' so many times that every night you lie awake hearing it in your head when you could be out in the court, losing yourself in a game, feeling the andrenaline..the excitement...the breathing difficulties when doahou's like Sendoh make you run so much that you barely have the energy to stay awake much less steal the ball..

Ok, not that last part.

Anyway, i knew i should have argued back to my father. Or at least said something. But i didn't. Because, right at that moment, i realised that it was all pointless. It was pointless for me to say anything.

My voice would never reach him.

I mustered up what little self-esteem i had left and turned on my Rukawa Kaede Ice Glare. He glared right back at me.

And we both stood there glaring at each other for a good ten minutes before he finally spoke, Kaede, maybe you should open the windows and let some fresh air in. Maybe then you'll be able to think straight and see how stupid you are being.

I decided to let that last comment pass. After all, its probably a good idea to move, my neck's getting stiff from all that staring.

I stalk over to the windows and yank them open with a very satisfying KEEEEEE' sound. Maybe if I stand here long enough, he'll feel bad and hand me what's rightfully mine. Or maybe if i stare into space and look bored for long enough, he'll get angry and decide to walk over to the window and lecture me on the lessons of life(and money). Maybe while he's doing that, he'll trip over that hideous brown carpet and fall. Maybe when he falls, he'll knock his head(preferably hard) against the wall and come to his senses. Maybe after that, he'll give me my bankbook.



Maybe I should just throw myself out of the window.

-tbc-