Okeedoo! Ztarlight's tirelessness in the creation of Another Zim Hanukkah has touched and inspired me to finish this &*@^ing piece of ^&* that I was supposed to finish well over a ^&*%ing month ago! I'm so dedicated to this that I'm going to work through a horrible, probably fatal illness I've acquired. Oh, sure, they SAY it's just the flu, but I know they're only trying to soften the blow. Anyway, I still no own.
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(The party is now in full swing, and almost everyone has arrived. But wait! What's that sound coming from outside?)
Sound Coming From Outside: I'm here for the party, what business is it of yours?
Guard #1: Derrrrrrrr... uh, yew can't bring dem duuuuuhhhh... dem shiny things in.
Sound Coming From Outside: Excuse me?! What right do you have to regulate the possessions of another? Are you implying that I can't use weapons responsibly?!?
Guard #1: Duuuuuuuuuh?
Sound Coming From Outside: ...I'm not sure what you mean by that. But that's not even the point! Let me through. I'm asking you nicely.
Guard #1: (Appears to be having trouble figuring out how to step aside)
(Three seconds later, sounds of horrible screaming and terrified "Duh!" noises come from outside. Oh the humanity!)
CC: (Shakes her head) I knew they wouldn't be able to follow simple instructions.
Ztar: (Opening Gaz's gift) Wow! Vampire Piggy Hunter D!
Rab: A video game?
Ztar: No, a movie. It's the first one in history to get negative three stars.
Rab: Sounds like good MSTing fodder.
Ztar: You know it!
Rab: Well, in that vein, I have a gift for you too. (Hands it over)
Kami: (Covered in scorch marks) Oh! So do I! (Holds it out)
Ztar: Well gee, why don't I just open all my presents now?
(Pan over to the Tallests, standing over CC)
Purple: (Mimicking) "Why don't I just open all my presents now?" Sounds like SOMEone wrote herself into a corner.
CC: Don't you two need to give her your gift?
Red: Pardon me? We are the omnipotent rulers of a large section of a galaxy. We don't need to give some piddling little earth-creature an offering. Our presence is more than enough! (Turns to Purple) Right Pur-
Purple: (Looks sheepish)
Red: You got her a present?
Purple: I though it'd be nice...
Red: Nice!? We're feared and powerful entities of doom!
Purple: I just can't do ANYthing right with you!
(The Tallest walk off squabbling. Squabbling is a funny word, isn't it? Anyhoo, most people have crowded around Ztar in the center of the room. Think back to those birthday parties you had when you were six and it was time to open presents.)
Rab: Ooh! Open mine first! Open mine first or I will kill you slowly!
Ztar: Okay, okay... (Opens Rab's gift. It is a small, square box with a large red button on it) Oooh, neat! What is it?
Rab: (Grins)
Ztar: (Shrugs and presses the button. Thousands upon thousands of bags of Kompeitou rain down from a trap door in the ceiling) Sugar, FUN! Thanks Rab!
Rab: No problem! You owe me $19.95 per bag. --Hee, I only kid.
Ztar: (Picks up a present that's covered in spots of blood) I think this one's from Nny!
Bast: Where IS Nny anyway?
(Meanwhile, at the other end of the building/dome)
HNB: (Clinging to Nny's leg) DADDY!
(And back to the present opening)
Ztar: (Opens Nny's gift, revealing the severed head of Herb Scannel, an expressio of terror frozen on his face) Aww! How sweet! I'll put it on my nightstand.
(Red and Purple approach)
Red: ...And I suppose you didn't like the Cannons of Ultimate Destruction either!
Purple: Well, who picked those colors anyway? Pink is so ugly.
Red: What!?
Purple: And another- (Notices Ztarlight) Oh... here. (Hand her a piece of paper) It's a deed to Booj, Home of Sentient Jell-O.
Ztar: Wow, now I can tell everybody I'm Queen of Booj! But how will I get there?
Red: You're apparently under the impression that we care, right Purple?
Purple: (Swatting at Bast) Aaaah! It's on my head again!!
Red: He says yes.
Kat: Well *I* might be able to help... here's my present!
(Camera pans out to reveal an incredibly large, hastily wrapped, spaceship-shaped thing carried on Kat's back. How she is carrying it is beyond me. She throws it to the ground with a mighty crash, and the wrapping paper falls off.)
CC: (Walking up) Where do you get all these spaceships?
Kat: Don't ask me, YOU wrote this crap.
CC: Okee-doo.
Ztar: Thanks Kat!
Kami: Next present! Open mine!
Ztar: Okay! (Rip, tear, opening sounds) Weird!
Kami: Thanks! It was a Spooky doll, but then it kinda got fused with another Spooky doll...
Ztar: ...That would explain the two heads...
Kami: And from there on, your guess is as good as mine.
Ztar: That would explain the tentacles. It's cute, thanks!
(I have a gift for you too!)
Ztar: Really? How?
(The narrator's intangible face smiled secretively as Ztar stood confused. Then, suddenly Zim paused in his fighting with Dib and gave her a big hug and kiss!)
Zim: Bleagh!!! I'm covered with germs!!! (Runs out the door)
Tak: Hey! Get back here! (Chases him out with a ray gun)
Dib: Hey! You two, get back here! (Runs after them)
Happy Noodle Boy: Peanuts have invaded my pants! Pioneers, pioneers! (Runs after them)
Zim, Tak and Dib: Aaaaaaaaa! Not Happy Noodle Boy!!!
Ztar: I'm so happy...
CC: (Watching the four run away) Did it occur to them we're in space? Shouldn't they be dying?
Nny: (Appearing out of nowhere) I don't think so.
CC: Whatever.
Xat: Well, that was fun. Here's my present (Guess what she does?)
Ztar: Ty very much! I've always wanted a giant inflatable flamingo, how did you know?
Xat: I've been stalking you!
Ztar: How sweet! (Picks up Galadriel Weasley's present and opens it) Oh boy! My very own robot elf!
Galadriel Weasley: You're welcome!
Robot Elf: Beep.
Ztar: These things are so cool, and it'll go perfect with my robotic gnome!
Bast: My turn! My turn! (Bast takes out a gun and fires a little beam of light into Ztarlight's head. She falls to the ground)
CC: Bast! Shooting someone in the head is not a very good birthday present!
Nny: Speak for yourself, I find it very relaxing.
Bast: I didn't shoot her in the head! Well, not exactly, just look!
(As the crowd watches tensely, Ztarlight get up. She looks a little woogly, but is clearly unhurt. Heh heh, woogly! She also has a thing on her head, kinda looks like Zim's brain interface thing from The Most Horrible Christmas Ever.)
Ztar: (Fingering head thingy) What's this? (She suddenly gets an odd look on her face) Oh, COOL!
Gaz: What is it?
GIR: (Imitating Gaz) What is it?
Gaz: (Murderous look in her eye) You'll live to regret this!
GIR: You'll live to regret this!
Gaz: (Chases GIR out the door) You will die!
GIR: (Screaming happily) You will die!
Bast: Cookie, can you give us a hand here?
(I told you not to call me Cookie!)
CC: No, you told ME not to call you cookie.
(NOBODY CALL ME COOKIE!)
Bast: Fine, fine, sheesh, could you give us a hand?
(Sure, sure. Switch to Ztarlight-O-Vision. She's looking across the room, but superimposed over the scene is an episode of Invader Zim.)
Bast: It's for those long, boring stretches at school. You can turn it off and on, switch episodes, and it's also programed with fanfiction.
(Words scroll across Ztar's field of vision. End Ztarlight-O-Vision)
Ztar: Very, very nifty! Thank you!
Bast: You're welcome! (Looks at watch) Geez, I gotta go! It's getting late.
Kat: Whatsa matter, you gonna turn into a pumpkin at midnight?
Bast: Yes!
Kat: Hah! Loser, I'm gonna turn into a gourd. All the COOL people are turning into gourds.
(So, one by one, the fangirls leave to avoid turning into various squashes. Red and Purple, after dislodging Bast from their scalps, beam the hell outta there. Nny just wanders off and is never heard from again, except when he is.)
Ztar: Shouldn't you be going too?
CC: Not until I give you my present.
(Cheesy music plays in the background)
CC: Ztar, I looked all over trying to find something suitable, but it occurred to me nothing could be as great as the friendship you've given me. So for your birthday, I want to tell you just how much I appreciate it. That is my gift to you.
Ztar: (All choked up) Aww...
CC: ...I also got you a million billion dollars.
Ztar: WOOHOO! (Dives headfirst into the pile of money that was somehow unnoticed till now) But I appreciate your friendship even more than the money.
CC: Aww... do you really mean that?
Ztar: (Counting money) Ten billion and three, ten billion and four- Huh? Oh, yes! Yes I do!
(And as the two exchange a hug, the narrator vomits profusely and the fic mercifully ends. Goodnight everybody!)
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(The party is now in full swing, and almost everyone has arrived. But wait! What's that sound coming from outside?)
Sound Coming From Outside: I'm here for the party, what business is it of yours?
Guard #1: Derrrrrrrr... uh, yew can't bring dem duuuuuhhhh... dem shiny things in.
Sound Coming From Outside: Excuse me?! What right do you have to regulate the possessions of another? Are you implying that I can't use weapons responsibly?!?
Guard #1: Duuuuuuuuuh?
Sound Coming From Outside: ...I'm not sure what you mean by that. But that's not even the point! Let me through. I'm asking you nicely.
Guard #1: (Appears to be having trouble figuring out how to step aside)
(Three seconds later, sounds of horrible screaming and terrified "Duh!" noises come from outside. Oh the humanity!)
CC: (Shakes her head) I knew they wouldn't be able to follow simple instructions.
Ztar: (Opening Gaz's gift) Wow! Vampire Piggy Hunter D!
Rab: A video game?
Ztar: No, a movie. It's the first one in history to get negative three stars.
Rab: Sounds like good MSTing fodder.
Ztar: You know it!
Rab: Well, in that vein, I have a gift for you too. (Hands it over)
Kami: (Covered in scorch marks) Oh! So do I! (Holds it out)
Ztar: Well gee, why don't I just open all my presents now?
(Pan over to the Tallests, standing over CC)
Purple: (Mimicking) "Why don't I just open all my presents now?" Sounds like SOMEone wrote herself into a corner.
CC: Don't you two need to give her your gift?
Red: Pardon me? We are the omnipotent rulers of a large section of a galaxy. We don't need to give some piddling little earth-creature an offering. Our presence is more than enough! (Turns to Purple) Right Pur-
Purple: (Looks sheepish)
Red: You got her a present?
Purple: I though it'd be nice...
Red: Nice!? We're feared and powerful entities of doom!
Purple: I just can't do ANYthing right with you!
(The Tallest walk off squabbling. Squabbling is a funny word, isn't it? Anyhoo, most people have crowded around Ztar in the center of the room. Think back to those birthday parties you had when you were six and it was time to open presents.)
Rab: Ooh! Open mine first! Open mine first or I will kill you slowly!
Ztar: Okay, okay... (Opens Rab's gift. It is a small, square box with a large red button on it) Oooh, neat! What is it?
Rab: (Grins)
Ztar: (Shrugs and presses the button. Thousands upon thousands of bags of Kompeitou rain down from a trap door in the ceiling) Sugar, FUN! Thanks Rab!
Rab: No problem! You owe me $19.95 per bag. --Hee, I only kid.
Ztar: (Picks up a present that's covered in spots of blood) I think this one's from Nny!
Bast: Where IS Nny anyway?
(Meanwhile, at the other end of the building/dome)
HNB: (Clinging to Nny's leg) DADDY!
(And back to the present opening)
Ztar: (Opens Nny's gift, revealing the severed head of Herb Scannel, an expressio of terror frozen on his face) Aww! How sweet! I'll put it on my nightstand.
(Red and Purple approach)
Red: ...And I suppose you didn't like the Cannons of Ultimate Destruction either!
Purple: Well, who picked those colors anyway? Pink is so ugly.
Red: What!?
Purple: And another- (Notices Ztarlight) Oh... here. (Hand her a piece of paper) It's a deed to Booj, Home of Sentient Jell-O.
Ztar: Wow, now I can tell everybody I'm Queen of Booj! But how will I get there?
Red: You're apparently under the impression that we care, right Purple?
Purple: (Swatting at Bast) Aaaah! It's on my head again!!
Red: He says yes.
Kat: Well *I* might be able to help... here's my present!
(Camera pans out to reveal an incredibly large, hastily wrapped, spaceship-shaped thing carried on Kat's back. How she is carrying it is beyond me. She throws it to the ground with a mighty crash, and the wrapping paper falls off.)
CC: (Walking up) Where do you get all these spaceships?
Kat: Don't ask me, YOU wrote this crap.
CC: Okee-doo.
Ztar: Thanks Kat!
Kami: Next present! Open mine!
Ztar: Okay! (Rip, tear, opening sounds) Weird!
Kami: Thanks! It was a Spooky doll, but then it kinda got fused with another Spooky doll...
Ztar: ...That would explain the two heads...
Kami: And from there on, your guess is as good as mine.
Ztar: That would explain the tentacles. It's cute, thanks!
(I have a gift for you too!)
Ztar: Really? How?
(The narrator's intangible face smiled secretively as Ztar stood confused. Then, suddenly Zim paused in his fighting with Dib and gave her a big hug and kiss!)
Zim: Bleagh!!! I'm covered with germs!!! (Runs out the door)
Tak: Hey! Get back here! (Chases him out with a ray gun)
Dib: Hey! You two, get back here! (Runs after them)
Happy Noodle Boy: Peanuts have invaded my pants! Pioneers, pioneers! (Runs after them)
Zim, Tak and Dib: Aaaaaaaaa! Not Happy Noodle Boy!!!
Ztar: I'm so happy...
CC: (Watching the four run away) Did it occur to them we're in space? Shouldn't they be dying?
Nny: (Appearing out of nowhere) I don't think so.
CC: Whatever.
Xat: Well, that was fun. Here's my present (Guess what she does?)
Ztar: Ty very much! I've always wanted a giant inflatable flamingo, how did you know?
Xat: I've been stalking you!
Ztar: How sweet! (Picks up Galadriel Weasley's present and opens it) Oh boy! My very own robot elf!
Galadriel Weasley: You're welcome!
Robot Elf: Beep.
Ztar: These things are so cool, and it'll go perfect with my robotic gnome!
Bast: My turn! My turn! (Bast takes out a gun and fires a little beam of light into Ztarlight's head. She falls to the ground)
CC: Bast! Shooting someone in the head is not a very good birthday present!
Nny: Speak for yourself, I find it very relaxing.
Bast: I didn't shoot her in the head! Well, not exactly, just look!
(As the crowd watches tensely, Ztarlight get up. She looks a little woogly, but is clearly unhurt. Heh heh, woogly! She also has a thing on her head, kinda looks like Zim's brain interface thing from The Most Horrible Christmas Ever.)
Ztar: (Fingering head thingy) What's this? (She suddenly gets an odd look on her face) Oh, COOL!
Gaz: What is it?
GIR: (Imitating Gaz) What is it?
Gaz: (Murderous look in her eye) You'll live to regret this!
GIR: You'll live to regret this!
Gaz: (Chases GIR out the door) You will die!
GIR: (Screaming happily) You will die!
Bast: Cookie, can you give us a hand here?
(I told you not to call me Cookie!)
CC: No, you told ME not to call you cookie.
(NOBODY CALL ME COOKIE!)
Bast: Fine, fine, sheesh, could you give us a hand?
(Sure, sure. Switch to Ztarlight-O-Vision. She's looking across the room, but superimposed over the scene is an episode of Invader Zim.)
Bast: It's for those long, boring stretches at school. You can turn it off and on, switch episodes, and it's also programed with fanfiction.
(Words scroll across Ztar's field of vision. End Ztarlight-O-Vision)
Ztar: Very, very nifty! Thank you!
Bast: You're welcome! (Looks at watch) Geez, I gotta go! It's getting late.
Kat: Whatsa matter, you gonna turn into a pumpkin at midnight?
Bast: Yes!
Kat: Hah! Loser, I'm gonna turn into a gourd. All the COOL people are turning into gourds.
(So, one by one, the fangirls leave to avoid turning into various squashes. Red and Purple, after dislodging Bast from their scalps, beam the hell outta there. Nny just wanders off and is never heard from again, except when he is.)
Ztar: Shouldn't you be going too?
CC: Not until I give you my present.
(Cheesy music plays in the background)
CC: Ztar, I looked all over trying to find something suitable, but it occurred to me nothing could be as great as the friendship you've given me. So for your birthday, I want to tell you just how much I appreciate it. That is my gift to you.
Ztar: (All choked up) Aww...
CC: ...I also got you a million billion dollars.
Ztar: WOOHOO! (Dives headfirst into the pile of money that was somehow unnoticed till now) But I appreciate your friendship even more than the money.
CC: Aww... do you really mean that?
Ztar: (Counting money) Ten billion and three, ten billion and four- Huh? Oh, yes! Yes I do!
(And as the two exchange a hug, the narrator vomits profusely and the fic mercifully ends. Goodnight everybody!)