Author's Note: This strange little fic is the fruit of my recent all-encompassing fascination with Spike, and many edgy sleepless nights while waiting for replies from colleges. It is a work in progress and my very first public attempt at bringing a story together, so please be gentle with my ego. Maybe I'll be able to figure out how to format soon. More (longer) chapters on the way. And before you ask: yes, I am obsessed.

*****

She was still standing there, smiling at him, and he couldn't bear it. He knew her now of course, and it felt unbelievably strange to think there had been a time when he hadn't yet seen her. He shuddered. She had looked different, somehow…

"I can see you do remember." She drifted towards him. So beautiful. No! Don't even THINK it…

"So you have a soul now, you think that changes anything? You're still evil." She shook her head. "I could never love you." He huddled against the wall and knew it was true. Her tiny face came closer.

"But I want to tell you something, William." She knelt beside him and he waited for the blow to land. He deserved it. I need it.

Instead he felt her hand gentle on his chin, leveling their gaze, and her touch burned him like everything that was holy. He hugged his knees to his hollow chest and opened his eyes.

"I forgive you."

*****

There was no way to know how many days had passed. Time had gone all wonky, and he'd looked for the spot where he had overheard those men talking but the passageways were totally unfamiliar. He just wandered about now, looking for something he recognized. Getting bloody hungry…rats just weren't that filling. No luck yet.

Maybe that hasn't happened yet. Maybe you can't find it because you haven't seen it yet. He laughed. "Stupid."

He was losing his mind, he knew that. Been around Dru long enough to see it and know it for what it was. Seeing things…seeing her. But maybe that hasn't happened yet either.

"Like it ever would." Not the forgiveness, anyway. Not so soon. Not after…what he had done. Not strong enough. Can't just pick it all back up again, but I thought—

"You thought." He heard his own derisive laugh, but it hadn't been him. He hadn't spoken. Had he? Well this is just great…

"I think we both know what you thought, mate." The flicker of a lighter in the dark illuminated his face, leaning against the opposite wall. Cool and composed in black leather. The spark went out, but the light stayed.

"God, you look like shit!" It shrugged off the wall and flowed towards him, moving just like a tiger. Burning bright…

"You thought that this is who you were. Me. That William was long gone." It chuckled as it looked him up and down. Leered. "Man were you wrong."

TBC soon.