THANKS TO: Steffi Anderson (heh, i need to put in more sub/kam scenes, don't i?), Akiya (silliness seems more natural in TB setting, ne?), ky-lin (*huggles* thanks for both the feedback and the comment on my blog!), Mika (ah, you have no idea how wacky it'll get ^_^), yamatoforever (*evil snicker* oh, fuuma will most definitely come back out), Agent420 (yay to fluff ^__^), Autumn (ouch! abuse, i say!), and Hitori (i'm mean only out of love ^^;;). Sorry for the slow update. Can you tell how out of practice I am?
PREMISE: Tokyo Babylon and X both occur in the year 1999. This means that Seishirou, Subaru, and Hokuto retain their TB ages/personalities.
DISCLAIMER: Tokyo Babylon/X and their characters are not mine.
Be Careful What You Wish For
Chapter 7: Subaru, I Love You!
"Well, the way I see it, two things can happen," Karen stated as she sat back in her chair, tapping her fingers together. The white lab coat and black-framed glasses made her look very scholarly, if one ignored the fact that she wore nothing but lacy black lingerie underneath.
Which Kamui did. He was too preoccupied with his current dilemma, which he had just finished spilling to the counselor, to notice something as trivial as a well-endowed woman sitting half-dressed and cross-legged in front of him.
"Number one," Karen held up an index finger, "Subaru-san will lose the bet and will promptly be killed."
"That can't happen!" Kamui cried, his heart giving a little twist at the thought. He gave her a tortured look that plainly said, fix it!
"Now, now," Karen said consolingly. "I'm here to help."
Kamui brightened.
"You can show Seishirou-san the advantages of keeping a pleading little uke like Subaru-san around. Point out what a cute, virgin ass he has, how he'll never insist on being on top, his willingness to please, the wild threesome possibilities with his lookalike twin sister—" she ticked off.
"What?" Kamui interjected. "Subaru would never—"
"Why not? Are you saying that thought has never crossed your mind, Kamui-san?"
"Of course not!" But of course, now that she mentioned it, the image of a writhing threesome sprang to mind, with him in between the two Sumeragi siblings. In fact, the more he tried not to think of it, the more the idea persisted. It was suddenly so hot in the room.
Karen smiled knowingly. "There's no need to be embarrassed, Kamui-san. It's perfectly healthy for a boy your age to fantasize about sex with his best friend and best friend's sister."
"I wasn't fantasizing!" he denied vehemently.
"Mmhmm. Then what's that?" she asked, unconvinced, pointing to the evidence in his pants.
The door burst open, saving him from having to answer.
"Subaru!" Kamui was about to die from embarrassment and quickly moved to cover his erection. Belatedly, he added, "What are you doing here?"
Subaru walked toward him, steps quick and purposeful. "I was looking for you, Kamui."
He stopped mere inches away and clasped Kamui's hands in his own. Normally, Kamui would have welcomed the opportunity, but right now, it just felt awkward. He felt like a naughty kid having been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
And then Subaru was leaning even closer, eyes soft and warm in a way that made him turn want to melt into a puddle of goo.
"There's something I want to tell you," Subaru murmured, letting one hand drift upward for a second to brush back a lock of Kamui's hair in an unconscious gesture of tenderness.
"W-what is it?"
Subaru smiled with genuine feeling. "I won the bet. Seishirou-san said he loves me."
Kamui had never wilted so quickly in his life.
"Oh." He dropped disappointed eyes back to the floor. He told himself to stop being so selfish and be happy for his friend but it was so hard not to feel bitter when he thoughts of the Sakurazukamori doing lecherous things to Subaru filled his mind.
For a second, when Subaru had seemed so happy to see him, he had thought that...
"Isn't this great?" Subaru asked excitedly. "And it's all thanks to you."
Kamui wrenched back in horror. "What did I do?" he blurted out and then winced. He sounded as if Subaru was accusing him of a crime, not thanking him.
"Well," Subaru tapped him on the nose playfully, "if you hadn't advised me to be honest with my feelings, I never would have said anything to Seishirou-san. The bet would have been over before I had a chance to make him fall in love with me, and I would be dead, not helping Seishirou-san move into my place."
Why me? And I can't even be upset because this is what's best for Subaru. My life totally sucks, Kamui thought morosely.
"I owe you my life."
"I'd rather have your heart," Kamui mumbled.
"Huh?" Subaru asked naviely.
"Nothing."
An awkward moment passed. Well, it was awkward for Kamui, but not for Subaru, who was too happy about his good fortune and ignorant about his friend's amorous feelings for him.
"I'm happy for you," Kamui finally said, tone flat and insincere, but he managed the words at least. He forcefully reminded himself that this meant Subaru would live, and he'd at least get to see him in school.
From a far distance. Knowing I'll never be able to schedule mini-dates for ice cream or tutoring. Seeing him go home to the Sakurazukamori, his lover.
Impulsively, he threw himself at Subaru in a tight embrace, feeling the other rock back slightly before steadying and hugging him back.
"I'm happy for you," Kamui murmured, as if repetition would make it become reality. And it did sound more sincere. "So happy." Tears were prickling in his eyes and he clung to Subaru desperately. "Happy."
"Uh, Kamui," Subaru said uneasily, looking down at the boy attached to his waist. He put his hands on Kamui's shoulders and pushed back gently. "You can let go now."
"I'm sorry," Kamui sniffled, discreetly wiping his eyes as he put distance between them once more.
"A-are you crying?"
"I'm just so happy for you," Kamui sobbed piteously.
Subaru gave him a look. "Kamui," he said warningly.
"I'm sorry." To his horror, the tears kept coming. "It's just... Subaru, I love you!"
The stunned expression on Subaru's face was enough to let him know he was correct all those years in keeping quiet. He wanted to recant his confession but didn't think Subaru would buy it. So he plunged ahead.
"I can't help it! You're just so perfect, sweet and self-sacrificing, you always put others before you but never expect the same... you're so honest, and you care about everyone, even someone like me, who doesn't deserve your attention... you're the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. This sounds so cliched, but it's really how I feel about you!"
"Since when...?" Subaru started hesitantly.
"Did I start loving you?"
Subaru nodded.
"Since as long as I've known you," Kamui hiccuped. It felt so good letting it all out. "I wasn't going to say anything, especially now that you're official with Seishirou, but it slipped out."
"I had no idea you felt that way about me." Subaru lowered his head apologetically.
"I'm sorry," Kamui apologized, toeing the floor and wishing a hole would open up and swallow him up. Then, Subaru cupped his face, tilting his face upward.
"Kamui, I love you too," Subaru confessed.
This was unexpected.
"Um. Could you repeat that please?"
"I love you." Then, so that there would be no confusion, Subaru leaned down and kissed him.
It was the everything he had dreamed about, and more.
Once it became clear that Subaru didn't mean love in the platonic sense (i.e. when he slipped him some tongue), Kamui started to respond with enthusiasm.
"Gods, Subaru, I love you, too," he moaned between kisses. "I've wanted to tell you how I felt for so long."
"Well, there's no reason to hide it anymore..." Subaru's voice was growing stranger by the second. "...Shirou-kun."
"Eh?!?!" Kamui jumped back at the sound of Keiichi's voice.
Kotori was staring back at him, eyes full of concern. "Are you okay, Kamui-chan? You look dazed."
"What happened to Subaru?" he demanded to know, pointedly ignoring the fact that he seemed to be in a wedding dress.
"Subaru? He's over there."
Kamui looked over to see a small figure prancing around on the rug on all fours, chibi-fied and wearing a puppy costume. Tail wagging, it leapt up and pawed at Seishirou, and the hood with the attached floppy ears slipped back to reveal that it was indeed Subaru beneath the costume.
"Good boy!" Seishirou encouraged, petting the dark head lovingly. "When we get home, I'll give you a special treat."
Subaru yipped happily and ran in circles around Seishirou before being scooped up. He then proceeded to lick at Seishirou's face, small pink tongue working busily.
"Ohohohoho! I bet I know just what that 'special treat' is."
"Now, now. Don't be jealous. There's enough Sakurazuka for everyone." With that, he shifted Subaru to the crook of one arm and swept Hokuto into his other for a tonsil-probing liplock.
O_O
"What the hell kind of dream was that?" Kamui grumbled, cracking his eyes open to stare up at his ceiling.
He had the sinking feeling that it was going to be another terrible day.
-----
Sorata showed up at his door and predictably invited himself in for breakfast. Kamui scowled as Sorata piled all the pancakes onto his own plate, rambling all the while.
"And then who do I run into but Arashi outside the movie theater!"
"You probably stalked her there." Kamui rolled his eyes.
"Ha ha ha. That's what she said!"
Kamui groaned and buried his head in his hands.
"Hey, are you alright?" Sorata asked in concern, after they had finished eating (or in Kamui's case, poking at the food) and were starting off toward school. "You look pale. I mean more so than usual. You're not getting sick are you?" he asked, putting a hand to Kamui's forehead.
"It's nothing," Kamui waved him off. "Just didn't sleep well last night."
To his surprise, Sorata didn't push the issue. The two walked along in silence, Sorata thinking about new ways to win over Arashi and Kamui cursing his terrible track record with Subaru, even in his dreams.
Despite his easy willingness to sacrifice his own desires for Subaru in dreamscape, it was so much harder in real life. Everytime he told himself to let go, a little voice piped up, telling him that it was impossible; he was in for life.
Friendship simply wasn't enough for him. That's why he had gone to Fuuma in the first place!
Stupid Fuuma... he didn't even do anything, he thought irritably, other than look hot and make me horny.
Kamui cleared his throat. "Sorata."
His friend looked over at him. "What is it, Kamui?"
"Remeber that thing you mentioned a week ago? About the guy that can grant Wishes?"
He half-expected Sorata to keel over laughing, telling him how stupid he was in believing in such a ridiculous tale. But all he got was a, "Yeah, what about it?"
"Well... how come you don't go to him about Arashi?"
"You mean to get her to fall in love with me?"
Kamui nodded.
"But then... that wouldn't be fair, would it?" Sorata mused. "She'd have no choice about her feelings and I believe love shouldn't be forced. Or else it isn't really love."
"I didn't think of it that way," Kamui flushed in shame. I guess I really have been selfish... but I just want him so badly... even now, I can't give him up, not really. But I -do- love him! I do! That's why I can't live without him.
"But h— she would be happy, too," he argued. "Maybe it would have happened naturally if circumstances were different. Besides, what's wrong with being happy with the one you love, even if it is a little artificial? What if their life right now is miserable because they're in love with the wrong person? Wouldn't it be better if they were with someone who would treat them right, the way they deserve to be treated?"
Sorata held his hands up defensively. "Hey, I was just stating my opinion. Although you may be right."
Strangely, this didn't make Kamui feel any better or justified. He felt worse.
"But it wouldn't help for me anyway," Sorata continued confidently. "Arashi-neechan is already in love with me. She just doesn't know it yet."
Spotting the slim figure with long dark hair entering the school gate, Sorata called out, "Arashi! Babe!"
Arashi didn't turn, but her posture stiffened in annoyance before she stalked off, head held high.
"Gotta go, Kamui, bye." Sorata patted his friend on the shoulder.
"Arashi-neechan, don't be so cold!" he yelled, running after her.
Kamui walked much more sedately to class.
tbc...
since it may take a while for me to update, i'll be emailing people back from now on, rather than giving acknowledgements and thanks in the next chapter. so if you leave an anonymous review, make sure to leave a contact!
review, onegaishimasu!
----------
December 14, 2002
PREMISE: Tokyo Babylon and X both occur in the year 1999. This means that Seishirou, Subaru, and Hokuto retain their TB ages/personalities.
DISCLAIMER: Tokyo Babylon/X and their characters are not mine.
Chapter 7: Subaru, I Love You!
"Well, the way I see it, two things can happen," Karen stated as she sat back in her chair, tapping her fingers together. The white lab coat and black-framed glasses made her look very scholarly, if one ignored the fact that she wore nothing but lacy black lingerie underneath.
Which Kamui did. He was too preoccupied with his current dilemma, which he had just finished spilling to the counselor, to notice something as trivial as a well-endowed woman sitting half-dressed and cross-legged in front of him.
"Number one," Karen held up an index finger, "Subaru-san will lose the bet and will promptly be killed."
"That can't happen!" Kamui cried, his heart giving a little twist at the thought. He gave her a tortured look that plainly said, fix it!
"Now, now," Karen said consolingly. "I'm here to help."
Kamui brightened.
"You can show Seishirou-san the advantages of keeping a pleading little uke like Subaru-san around. Point out what a cute, virgin ass he has, how he'll never insist on being on top, his willingness to please, the wild threesome possibilities with his lookalike twin sister—" she ticked off.
"What?" Kamui interjected. "Subaru would never—"
"Why not? Are you saying that thought has never crossed your mind, Kamui-san?"
"Of course not!" But of course, now that she mentioned it, the image of a writhing threesome sprang to mind, with him in between the two Sumeragi siblings. In fact, the more he tried not to think of it, the more the idea persisted. It was suddenly so hot in the room.
Karen smiled knowingly. "There's no need to be embarrassed, Kamui-san. It's perfectly healthy for a boy your age to fantasize about sex with his best friend and best friend's sister."
"I wasn't fantasizing!" he denied vehemently.
"Mmhmm. Then what's that?" she asked, unconvinced, pointing to the evidence in his pants.
The door burst open, saving him from having to answer.
"Subaru!" Kamui was about to die from embarrassment and quickly moved to cover his erection. Belatedly, he added, "What are you doing here?"
Subaru walked toward him, steps quick and purposeful. "I was looking for you, Kamui."
He stopped mere inches away and clasped Kamui's hands in his own. Normally, Kamui would have welcomed the opportunity, but right now, it just felt awkward. He felt like a naughty kid having been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
And then Subaru was leaning even closer, eyes soft and warm in a way that made him turn want to melt into a puddle of goo.
"There's something I want to tell you," Subaru murmured, letting one hand drift upward for a second to brush back a lock of Kamui's hair in an unconscious gesture of tenderness.
"W-what is it?"
Subaru smiled with genuine feeling. "I won the bet. Seishirou-san said he loves me."
Kamui had never wilted so quickly in his life.
"Oh." He dropped disappointed eyes back to the floor. He told himself to stop being so selfish and be happy for his friend but it was so hard not to feel bitter when he thoughts of the Sakurazukamori doing lecherous things to Subaru filled his mind.
For a second, when Subaru had seemed so happy to see him, he had thought that...
"Isn't this great?" Subaru asked excitedly. "And it's all thanks to you."
Kamui wrenched back in horror. "What did I do?" he blurted out and then winced. He sounded as if Subaru was accusing him of a crime, not thanking him.
"Well," Subaru tapped him on the nose playfully, "if you hadn't advised me to be honest with my feelings, I never would have said anything to Seishirou-san. The bet would have been over before I had a chance to make him fall in love with me, and I would be dead, not helping Seishirou-san move into my place."
Why me? And I can't even be upset because this is what's best for Subaru. My life totally sucks, Kamui thought morosely.
"I owe you my life."
"I'd rather have your heart," Kamui mumbled.
"Huh?" Subaru asked naviely.
"Nothing."
An awkward moment passed. Well, it was awkward for Kamui, but not for Subaru, who was too happy about his good fortune and ignorant about his friend's amorous feelings for him.
"I'm happy for you," Kamui finally said, tone flat and insincere, but he managed the words at least. He forcefully reminded himself that this meant Subaru would live, and he'd at least get to see him in school.
From a far distance. Knowing I'll never be able to schedule mini-dates for ice cream or tutoring. Seeing him go home to the Sakurazukamori, his lover.
Impulsively, he threw himself at Subaru in a tight embrace, feeling the other rock back slightly before steadying and hugging him back.
"I'm happy for you," Kamui murmured, as if repetition would make it become reality. And it did sound more sincere. "So happy." Tears were prickling in his eyes and he clung to Subaru desperately. "Happy."
"Uh, Kamui," Subaru said uneasily, looking down at the boy attached to his waist. He put his hands on Kamui's shoulders and pushed back gently. "You can let go now."
"I'm sorry," Kamui sniffled, discreetly wiping his eyes as he put distance between them once more.
"A-are you crying?"
"I'm just so happy for you," Kamui sobbed piteously.
Subaru gave him a look. "Kamui," he said warningly.
"I'm sorry." To his horror, the tears kept coming. "It's just... Subaru, I love you!"
The stunned expression on Subaru's face was enough to let him know he was correct all those years in keeping quiet. He wanted to recant his confession but didn't think Subaru would buy it. So he plunged ahead.
"I can't help it! You're just so perfect, sweet and self-sacrificing, you always put others before you but never expect the same... you're so honest, and you care about everyone, even someone like me, who doesn't deserve your attention... you're the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. This sounds so cliched, but it's really how I feel about you!"
"Since when...?" Subaru started hesitantly.
"Did I start loving you?"
Subaru nodded.
"Since as long as I've known you," Kamui hiccuped. It felt so good letting it all out. "I wasn't going to say anything, especially now that you're official with Seishirou, but it slipped out."
"I had no idea you felt that way about me." Subaru lowered his head apologetically.
"I'm sorry," Kamui apologized, toeing the floor and wishing a hole would open up and swallow him up. Then, Subaru cupped his face, tilting his face upward.
"Kamui, I love you too," Subaru confessed.
This was unexpected.
"Um. Could you repeat that please?"
"I love you." Then, so that there would be no confusion, Subaru leaned down and kissed him.
It was the everything he had dreamed about, and more.
Once it became clear that Subaru didn't mean love in the platonic sense (i.e. when he slipped him some tongue), Kamui started to respond with enthusiasm.
"Gods, Subaru, I love you, too," he moaned between kisses. "I've wanted to tell you how I felt for so long."
"Well, there's no reason to hide it anymore..." Subaru's voice was growing stranger by the second. "...Shirou-kun."
"Eh?!?!" Kamui jumped back at the sound of Keiichi's voice.
Kotori was staring back at him, eyes full of concern. "Are you okay, Kamui-chan? You look dazed."
"What happened to Subaru?" he demanded to know, pointedly ignoring the fact that he seemed to be in a wedding dress.
"Subaru? He's over there."
Kamui looked over to see a small figure prancing around on the rug on all fours, chibi-fied and wearing a puppy costume. Tail wagging, it leapt up and pawed at Seishirou, and the hood with the attached floppy ears slipped back to reveal that it was indeed Subaru beneath the costume.
"Good boy!" Seishirou encouraged, petting the dark head lovingly. "When we get home, I'll give you a special treat."
Subaru yipped happily and ran in circles around Seishirou before being scooped up. He then proceeded to lick at Seishirou's face, small pink tongue working busily.
"Ohohohoho! I bet I know just what that 'special treat' is."
"Now, now. Don't be jealous. There's enough Sakurazuka for everyone." With that, he shifted Subaru to the crook of one arm and swept Hokuto into his other for a tonsil-probing liplock.
O_O
"What the hell kind of dream was that?" Kamui grumbled, cracking his eyes open to stare up at his ceiling.
He had the sinking feeling that it was going to be another terrible day.
-----
Sorata showed up at his door and predictably invited himself in for breakfast. Kamui scowled as Sorata piled all the pancakes onto his own plate, rambling all the while.
"And then who do I run into but Arashi outside the movie theater!"
"You probably stalked her there." Kamui rolled his eyes.
"Ha ha ha. That's what she said!"
Kamui groaned and buried his head in his hands.
"Hey, are you alright?" Sorata asked in concern, after they had finished eating (or in Kamui's case, poking at the food) and were starting off toward school. "You look pale. I mean more so than usual. You're not getting sick are you?" he asked, putting a hand to Kamui's forehead.
"It's nothing," Kamui waved him off. "Just didn't sleep well last night."
To his surprise, Sorata didn't push the issue. The two walked along in silence, Sorata thinking about new ways to win over Arashi and Kamui cursing his terrible track record with Subaru, even in his dreams.
Despite his easy willingness to sacrifice his own desires for Subaru in dreamscape, it was so much harder in real life. Everytime he told himself to let go, a little voice piped up, telling him that it was impossible; he was in for life.
Friendship simply wasn't enough for him. That's why he had gone to Fuuma in the first place!
Stupid Fuuma... he didn't even do anything, he thought irritably, other than look hot and make me horny.
Kamui cleared his throat. "Sorata."
His friend looked over at him. "What is it, Kamui?"
"Remeber that thing you mentioned a week ago? About the guy that can grant Wishes?"
He half-expected Sorata to keel over laughing, telling him how stupid he was in believing in such a ridiculous tale. But all he got was a, "Yeah, what about it?"
"Well... how come you don't go to him about Arashi?"
"You mean to get her to fall in love with me?"
Kamui nodded.
"But then... that wouldn't be fair, would it?" Sorata mused. "She'd have no choice about her feelings and I believe love shouldn't be forced. Or else it isn't really love."
"I didn't think of it that way," Kamui flushed in shame. I guess I really have been selfish... but I just want him so badly... even now, I can't give him up, not really. But I -do- love him! I do! That's why I can't live without him.
"But h— she would be happy, too," he argued. "Maybe it would have happened naturally if circumstances were different. Besides, what's wrong with being happy with the one you love, even if it is a little artificial? What if their life right now is miserable because they're in love with the wrong person? Wouldn't it be better if they were with someone who would treat them right, the way they deserve to be treated?"
Sorata held his hands up defensively. "Hey, I was just stating my opinion. Although you may be right."
Strangely, this didn't make Kamui feel any better or justified. He felt worse.
"But it wouldn't help for me anyway," Sorata continued confidently. "Arashi-neechan is already in love with me. She just doesn't know it yet."
Spotting the slim figure with long dark hair entering the school gate, Sorata called out, "Arashi! Babe!"
Arashi didn't turn, but her posture stiffened in annoyance before she stalked off, head held high.
"Gotta go, Kamui, bye." Sorata patted his friend on the shoulder.
"Arashi-neechan, don't be so cold!" he yelled, running after her.
Kamui walked much more sedately to class.
tbc...
since it may take a while for me to update, i'll be emailing people back from now on, rather than giving acknowledgements and thanks in the next chapter. so if you leave an anonymous review, make sure to leave a contact!
review, onegaishimasu!
----------
December 14, 2002