Disclaimer: Oh Potter, you rotter, oh what have you done? You're creating fanfic writers, they think it's quite fun. They don't own anything because they're quite sad, but really this poem is rather quite bad.

A Cinderella Story

Chapter Four ll Muggle Self-Defence

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Lily and Joey, both being deep sleepers, were sound asleep while Namie, Violet and Keavy had an excited, whispered conversation about Lily's jinx that had turned James' bed into water.

Meanwhile, James had finally managed to reverse the jinx so he still had a bed. But it hadn't worked perfectly, and would protrude in when you poked it, like hard jelly.

"Well, I s'pose I'll have to ask Flitwick to teach me that Hardening Charm," James mumbled, stifling a yawn. Sirius grumbled something into his pillow, as he was already in bed. It was past midnight.

"Wonderful friends, you lot are," James muttered, attempting to roll his eyes but found it much more comfortable to let his heavy eyelids drop over his eyes. He stifled another yawn and climbed into his bed, which sunk in incredibly.

It was rather uncomfortable.

He was almost asleep when -

"POTTER - BLACK - LUPIN - PETTIGREW!"

James gave an odd sort of yelp as he kicked up. He heard Peter give a shriek while Sirius grunted loudly.

Professor McGonagall was standing in the doorway of their dormitory, a slab of light coming from the outside corridor. She was dressed in her nightgown, looking annoyed.

"Professor?" James mumbled, half-asleep, "What's...?"

"Tell them to come back later, James," moaned Sirius, frowing as he turned on his side.

"You four boys," Professor McGonagall ordered, a snap in her voice, "Get out of bed at once and put something warm on. We're going to see the Headmaster about this deliberate damage to the Great Hall."

"Ooh," Sirius muttered, rolling off his bed and reaching around blindly for his robe, "So you finally figured it was us..."

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"Whoa..."

"Bloody brilliant!"

"It's gorgeous..."

Lily looked up at the Great Hall's ceiling the next morning when she walked in for breakfast with Joey and Namie. She had expected to have the usual, shining, golden roof above her head (after all, repairs at Hogwarts never took long), but she was shocked, as was everyone else, to find that she could see the outside sky.

"Good Merlin, what if it starts raining?" Namie wondered out loud.

"How did they do that?" Joey wanted to know.

"How did they do what?" Lily asked, sitting down.

"The sky thing - " Joey pointed up, "I mean, yesterday it was just roofless, but today the tops of the building blend in with the sky... don't you see?"

"Oh, yeah..."

When most of the school had arrived for breakfast, Dumbledore stood up to announce something. The hall quietened down, though it was quiet already as most students were dozing off over their porridge.

"First of all, I would like to ask students to please pay just the tiniest bit of attention," Dumbledore said in amusement, "And a very good morning to you all."

A couple of people mumbled incoherent things.

"Secondly, I ask you all to look up."

Caught unawares at this unusual request, everyone looked up.

"Most of you would have... witnessed last night's event, in which the roof of the Great Hall was most ceremoniously lifted from the building. You will also remember I asked you whether or not you liked the new decor of the night sky showing."

"What?" Lily said, confused.

"Oh, Dumbledore asked us that last night after he was sure everyone was all right, and we had a hands-up vote," Joey filled in for her.

"Right..."

"Well, majority overruled, and I hope you all like the new arrangement. Oh, it's not the actual sky," he added as a couple of mature first- and second-years exchanged dark looks, "There really is a roof over our heads, but it has been bewitched to look like what it would outside. You may now all go back to sleeping in your breakfast, except for seventh-years - yes, I'm sorry, but I'll make it short - Professor Dutoli is violently ill, so your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher will be replaced with Professor Hoffman, who will be training you in Muggle self-defence."

"Muggle self-defence?" repeated Joey, looking befuddled, "What in the world is that?"

"Remember when Potter and Snape got into that fistfight?"

"Yeah..."

"That's it."

"Oh..."

---

"Muggle self-defence is quite easy, and you will find it handy when you're in danger without your wands," explained Professor Hoffman loftily to a knot of unenthusiastic students, "Kicking, punching and blocking; simple actions like that may save your life. Now, I'm going to pair you up--don't bother, Mr. Browning, I will be doing the pairing."

Very soon, everyone was partnered except for Lily and James.

"All right, you two--get together now, show us you're worthy to be the Heads of Hogwarts," Professor Hoffman smiled mischievously, "Okay then, quickly now... One person with be Person Z, and the other Person Y."

"I'm Z," Lily said quickly, having never really fancied the letter 'Y'.

"Fine, I'm Y then," James drawled.

"Person Z will attack, and Person Y will block, come on now," Professor Hoffman's loud voice pierced through the air, "Do not cause too much damage, might I ask."

"Hey, I want to be Z!" James now exclaimed, as a smiling Lily punched his shoulder.

"Ow!" he howled, grabbing at his shoulder, "Dammit, that hurt!"

"Your bloody fault." Punch.

"Stop it!" James angrily grabbed her arm and shoved her away.

"Potter, let go!"

"Stop punching me!"

"NO!" She wretched out of his grip and kicked him in the shins.

James swore bitterly and pushed her again, she yelped and grabbed onto him, and they both collided painfully onto the cold floor, still pinching and jabbing at each other.

Namie broke away from her partner to stare at the two wrestling around, and Joey was also gaping at them. Sirius and Peter were doubling over in laughter. Remus was shaking his head with a wry smile.

"POTTER, EVANS!" Professor Hoffman screamed, picking up a staff and whacking the wall. The resounding CRACK! made both of them stop immediately, "I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour in my classroom, TWENTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily got up, embarrassed, and apologised, while James glared moodily at the wall.

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A/N: Well, well, well, how did you like that chapter? I know I said I wasn't going to continue with at least 5 reviews, but I don't care, I just want to continue this and finish it! Lol. Cya! --MSQ.