Disclaimer: Oh Potter, you rotter, oh what have you done? You're creating fanfic writers, they think it's quite fun. They don't own anything because they're quite sad, but really this poem is rather quite bad.
A Cinderella Story
Chapter Six ll Tutor Sessions?
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Lily was furiously bolting down her pork chops and potatoes at dinner, also managing to rant angrily between mouthfuls, and help Dori study for an upcoming Herbology quiz.
"Lily--stop," Joey said, staring at her friend, amazed at her multi-talents, "You're honestly making me sick."
"I'm hungry," Lily said forcefully through a mouthful of food (Namie looked like she was going to throw up), "Okay, Dori, what's the name of the plant that resembles a rose if it wasn't for its many purple boils?"
Dori thought for a moment as she poked at her pie remains, and while this was happening, Lily turned to Namie and Joey and started describing how badly the Prefect meeting had went, and it was all because of James Potter's fault.
"Of all people, he just had to be picked, didn't he?" she said furiously, shovelling down her lovely dinner, "I don't get it. Maybe I'm still dreaming. Then I wish I would WAKE UP!"
Namie whispered something about the bathroom and ran out of the Great Hall.
"Bleurossa!" Dori suddenly exclaimed triumphantly.
Lily glanced at the textbook, "Good job, Mimi."
"Dori," the Japanese girl said firmly, "None of that Mimi stuff."
"You let Namie call you that, sometimes," Joey pointed out, starting to thump Lily on the back as she had choked on her pumpkin juice.
"Yeah, Namie and Mimi," Dori shuddered, "We sound like bloody twins."
"Err, you are twins," Keavy said matter-of-factly, sliding into Namie's abandoned seat.
"I know, but like, identical-to-the-last-freckle kinda twins. Preppy, dressed in pink ruffly dresses, pig-tailed twins."
"Riiight."
"Excuse me, Miss Lily Evans, ma'am?" piped up a quivering, squeaky voice.
Lily blinked several times and couldn't find the source of the noise. She felt something tugging on the bottom of her robes and was about to tell Keavy to stop it when she noticed a tiny house-elf trying to get her attention.
"Oh!" Lily exclaimed, surprised, "Err--hi."
The house-elf gasped in a terrified way and Joey snorted into her pumpkin juice. The tiny creature instantly flung himself down onto the ground and Lily shrieked, "Are you all right?"
A moment later, she realised he was simply bowing.
"Oh yes, Miss, Eddi is all right, Miss! Mrs. P--Professor McGonagall would like to see Miss Lily in her office! Now!" he squeaked, looking frightened at Lily who was peering down at him, concerned.
"Professor McGonagall?" she repeated, frowning, "Why?"
"Mrs. Professor McGonagall did not tell Eddi why, she just asked him t--to look for Miss Lily and tell her s--so!"
Eddi looked like he was about to faint so Lily decided to end his misery and said gently, "All right, Eddi, thank you."
"Oh, it is a pleasure!" Eddi threw himself on the ground again, and, sobbing slightly, scampered away.
Joey burst into hearty peals of laughter as soon as he had left. She howled as she clutched her stomach and slumped forward onto the table, shaking from laughter.
Dori was looking after Eddi with a huge grin as she said, "Dear, dear, Lily. You seemed to have frightened the poor thing to tears."
"I didn't mean to," Lily said, amazed, "I mean--I just talked--I didn't know--what the hell just happened?"
"House-elves... odd creatures, they are," was all Dori said, before tugging on Lily's sleeve, "C'mon dude, help me out."
"I can't," Lily said, still dumbfounded, "Didn't you hear--Eddi say that I need to see Mrs. Professor McGonagall?"
Joey, who had just calmed down enough to take another sip of her pumpkin juice, howled in laughter again and sprayed juice everywhere. Keavy shrieked and turned to her angrily, "Calm down, crazy woman!"
Lily left Dori to study by her wee, lonesome self, Joey to laugh like a maniac, Keavy to dry herself off while glaring beadily at Joey, and Namie to... where was Namie, anyway?
She opened the door to McGonagall's office and screamed when she saw who was already in there.
"Potter? What?" Lily looked at the ceiling immediately, searching for some sort of clue. Then it hit her: it had to be something about important Head Girl and boy (yes, uncapitalised) stuff.
"Oh, um, forget that thought," she placed herself in the chintz armchair beside him and sat there primly while Professor McGonagall turned around in her swingy chair and said, "Good evening, Miss Evans."
"This isn't fair," James said before Lily could open her mouth.
"Mr. Potter, please."
"NO! I'm smart, and I don't need to be tutored!" he wailed, looking ready to burst into tears, "Please, please, please don't do this to me! I promise to be a good boy!"
Lily stared at him momentarily and snorted, "You're gonna get tutored? Good one, Potter."
"I'M SMART!" James hollered, pounding his fists on the table, "I GOT TOP MARK IN TRANSFIGURATION, DIDN'T I, PROFESSOR?"
"What in the world is wrong with you?" Lily exclaimed.
"Mr. Black performed a Hysteria Charm on him--by accident, he claims," Professor McGonagall said rather carelessly, "Mr. Potter, have a biscuit."
"I DON'T WANNA BISCUIT!" James was on his feet now, "I DON'T NEED A TUTOR, MRS. PROFESSOR! I--AM--SMART. I--mphhyrst--"
Out of sheer irritation, Lily had shoved a Sesame Owl in his mouth.
"Thank you, Miss Evans."
"No problem, Professor."
James was falling into a light sleep, the biscuit hanging out of his mouth.
Lily stared at him, "Professor, what exactly was Professor Dumbledore thinking when he appointed him as Head Boy?"
"Well, he had consumed an entire bag of caramel Bertie Bott's Beans... well, we'll just leave him to sleep, shall we? You're here because I would like to ask you a favour."
"Sure thing," Lily said cheerily.
"You are to tutor Mr. Potter here."
Lily spat out the Ginger Newt she had placed in her mouth, "What?"
"WHAT?!" screamed James, shooting up from his sleep immediately.
"Yes," Professor McGonagall said tartly, "No matter how smart you claim yourself to be, it doesn't change the fact that you are failing Charms, Potions and History of Magic."
Lily gaped at him and yelled, "Why do you have to be so bloody dumb?"
"You're one to talk, aren't you, Evans?"
"What d'you mean? I get fine grades for every subject!"
"...Oh, do shut up, Bozo! A fine way to ruin my point."
"You two, honestly, be quiet," Professor McGonagall ordered, and the two fell silent at once, "So, tutor sessions, three nights a week, preferably on school nights. One lesson for each subject, I should think. One and a half hours, they are to last for at the very least. You may use my classroom. Any more queries?"
"I'm smart."
"We have already established that."
"Can't we get someone else to do it?" Lily pleaded.
"Well... no."
Silence...
"Okay, you may leave now."
The two Heads left the office quietly. When they were outside, James stormed off, yelling, "I AM SMART!" Lily rolled her eyes and yelled after him, "EIGHT PM TOMORROW TONIGHT, AND BRING QUILLS, PARCHMENT, YOUR POTIONS BOOK AND YOUR RUDDY BRAIN IF YOU HAVE ONE!"
James replied back with a distant, "I am smart!" which Lily guessed meant, "FINE!"
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Lily sincerely wished she had kept her mouth shut.
Both Joey and Namie were rolling on the floor, laughing their heads off. Keavy was giggling away to herself, and Violet looked supremely concerned, but Lily could see a smile aching to spread across her face.
"Tutor... James... Potter... haha... funny," were approximately the words coming from Joey.
Lily rolled her eyes and threw herself on her bed and yelled muffledly, "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"
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A/N: Hehe, I quite like this chapter. It seems to have more of a humor-touch. Especially with James being all "I'm-so-smart"ish. :D Lol. Thank you everyone for reviewing, it means so much to me! :) --MSQ.