Angelus and Miss Calendar are preparing to snare Giles. Willow, Xander,

Cordelia and Joyce are off to meet some "relatives". Oz is chained to a

pillar in a cage in their old lair but mindful of ASPCA advice Willow has

left him some dogfood and water. Buffy has O/d on Chocolate and weepy movies

and is fast asleep. Giles is researching in the library and any moment now

will go....



"Oh dear" He had met Harmony that morning. A painful and hitherto

unmemorable experience. Then he remembered. She had seen Willow. The same

Willow who wasn't meant to be there. A quick check had shown other people

who should be there weren't. Xander, his parents hadn't seen him but that by

itself was no real proof. Experience showed they would say that regardless.

Then, Cordelia had vanished. And Oz. Joyce's gallery hadn't opened but a

neighbouring shopowner had mentioned about a late client. Then Jenny hadn't

answered her 'phone. "Oh dear" he said again. Just before he was about to

call Buffy, the 'phone rang.



"I don't see why we can't just march into the library and do it there.

Among his books, sort of appropriate." Jenny complained. "Why here? It

smells of tea and boiled vegetables." Angelus sighed. Why couldn't one of

them do as they were damn well told? "Because, killing and turning him isn't

enough. It needs to be done with artistry." he explained. Didn't she realise

killing a Watcher was an important business. Big feather in the Angelus cap.

"So I want you to lie on his bed all seductive like then when he is at the

height of passion, assuming an Englishman can get that far, then you turn

him. Now get in there and phone him. Well, go on..." He walked in. She

stopped at the door. Bugger, no invite. "OK, stay there...." he grabbed the

'phone and passed the handset out of the door. "Now, phone him. Tell him

something but make sure he gives you an invite" She nodded.



Meanwhile, marshalled under a stern mother figure, the other ex-scoobies

were making their way to the old factory. All were feeling a bit hungry, but

Joyce assured them that she was sure that Spike and Dru - did Buffy even

know them? - would have refreshments. Whispering among themselves, the

others wondered if Joyce even knew she was a vampire. The Mrs Summers gift

for ignoring the blindingly obvious was still much in evidence. The journey

was generally uneventful. Even hungry the three knew that vampires rarely

attacked on Main Street Sunnydale. Collective amnesia amongst the townsfolk

stretched only so far. It was as they reached the less good parts of town

they had some trouble. A group of guys spilled out of the Kit-Kat, a club

for people with alternate (though I hasten to add no less valid) lifestyles.

One of them yelled. "Hey Harris, out with girls again" Xander bridled. "Hey

Larry, with the boys?" Mmmmm, he licked his lips, maybe a quick feed. He

stepped towards the heavyset football jock. "Right Harris, one word of this

and you're dead....right?" Xander smiled. Couldn't be any more dead, he

thought. Well time to show Larry. He prepared his vampire face, then felt a

sharp whack on his head. "Come along Xander. We're expected. Oh, Hi Larry,

sorry, I can't let Xander stay. Places to go" Larry watched with surprise as

she led Xander away. Something distinctly queer was going on. Weird, shaking

his head he rejoined his friends. "Nah, I wasn't threatening him....old

flame....jealous... sure I'm not ashamed" Xander's more attuned hearing

heard him saying. Damn, so he was 'out' with the boys.



Giles picked up the phone "Sunnydale High, Library, Rupert Giles

speaking, how may I help you?" This corporate style fuhrer Snyder had

introduced was a real pain. "Oh hello, Miss Calendar. Jenny. You want to...

cook me dinner...how kind...oh yes, sprouts boiled, cabbage boiled, beans

boiled...um Jenny, you don't need to...OK, boiled beef would be lovely. Get

in. Oh? There's a key under the mat. Sure go on in, be my guest. Jenny ?

Jenny? Damn." Snyder walked past. Poked his head in as Giles put the phone

down. "Forgetting something Mister Giles?" Giles swore, raised the set

"Thank you for calling Sunnydale High School Library. I hope we have been of

help. Have a nice day." As a smiling Snyder walked down the hall, he looked

back and saw Giles raising two fingers. "Yes?" "Oh, V for Victory" Giles

replied "for tonight's big game" Snyder smiled. Good, that English librarian

was learning some school spirit at last.



Spike was appalled. This was the grand plan. Turn the Slayer's friends

then use them to get at her. Notwithstanding the increased competition for

food, the berk hadn't realised how all that slayery goodness could rub off

on them. Willow. She made Dru seem almost sane. Right now the two of them

were discussing... "Ohh, I like your dolly" "Miss Edith's a good doll" "I've

got a puppy" "Spike won't let me have one, says seeing them die upsets me"

"Course, he's only a puppy 3 nights a month, rest of the time he's a dolly

too. Only more real" "Ooooooohhhhh, Spike... I want a real dolly who can

become a puppy" Spike snapped. "Bloody hell woman, I'm going out for a fag"

He was stopped by Xander "yes" he growled, Xander grinned, "If you want a

fag, don't take Larry..." "Bloody yanks, fag - cigarette right?" Xander

subsided, crestfallen. Then Joyce appeared with Cordelia. "Food. Well, not

much, about half a glass each and" she hushed her voice "don't tell Willow,

I think it's blood, pigs blood at that" They gathered round and

drank. "mmmm" Willow said, slapping her lips, "any more of this..what did

you say it was Xander ? " He coughed. "Grape juice, Willow" She smiled.

"Mmmmm, very nice 'grape juice'" in a conspiratorial whisper.



Spike returned. Went to the 'fridge. "Sodding hell. Who's nicked the

last of my bloody..." he stopped as all of them laughed. Joyce hushed them.

"I'm sorry, Spike, but they were hungry and we had thought you might have

refreshments. Oh and dear, do you really think you should smoke. It's bad

for you. Oh, and your language. I mean, you are English so you should

respect it more than most. You shouldn't really swear as much. Especially

not in front of the children." Spike glowered, then remembering the fiendish

axe-wielding mom muttered and apology. As he sat he decided that if the

Slayer didn't kill Angelus he damn well would. At that moment Joyce's cell

phone, though why the yanks couldn't call them mobiles like civilised people

he couldn't understand, rang. "She answered. Ah Mister Angelus. Yes and I

want words with you too. My daughter. Sex. You know she's underage. Right,

the Sunnydale High Library. Good. That nice Mister Giles will be there?

Good, he can be my witness." She smiled, a thin smile. "Come along children.

Ohhhh Cordelia, you've smudged your eyeliner and the lipstick. You really

should use a mirror. Here, try mine. Don't cry. I know young girls like to

experiment. All buttoned up warm... I don't know why we have to do this at

night. Come along now children"



Spike looked up. "They gone love ?" Dru nodded. "Good. Let's scarper

before they come back. Farewell Sunnydale. Arsehole..." "I heard that Spike"

Joyce's voice in the distance, "ummm not very nice place" Dru snickered.

"You're blushing Spike"



Back at the Rupert Giles residence. He opened the door. Good, no smell

of boiled anything. Thank heavens. Then he heard it, music. Puccini, Madame

Butterfly. Oh no, he hated that piece. Course, his old aunt Edna had never

heard of Led Zeppelin or Lynryd Skynyrd or any decent music. Then candles on

the stairs, bloody fire hazard. Then, bloody hell, those rose petals were

slippery. He finally got upstairs. And groaned. Jenny, lying there, naked.

But his best Dom Perignon, the stupid woman had opened his best champagne.

He'd been saving that for a special occasion. Well, a really special

occasion, he amended, considering the circumstances. Mmmmmm, she did look

quite attractive, devilishly alluring in fact. Oh, he remembered his dad's

advice. 'A gentleman always removes his socks' So he did so. She spoke.

"Rupert, aren't you going to take off the rest of your clothes? " Oh my, he

thought. He moved towards the door. That's where the lightswitch was.

"Ohhhh, honey, " she whispered " be daring. Leave the lights on." Oh my, he

thought again. Still she was European and they were a touch racy. He tried

to remember more of his old dad's advice. 'Foreplay, women like a bit, so

give her few kisses, four or five ought to do. He bent down. That was odd,

he'd never noticed those prominent ridges before. Or the fangs. Oh dear.....